Siheyuan: Banggeng and I are classmates

The next day

had breakfast

Seeing that Banggeng had just finished eating and lay back on the kang, Jia Zhang followed him to the kang and said slyly, "Banggeng, grandma has something interesting to tell you."

"what's up?"

Bang Geng turned around and asked, then tucked the quilt in and said, "Grandma, if you still want me to go out to play, then don't say it. I won't go out."

Jia Zhang didn't care about Banggeng's cold attitude, and asked with a smile: "Banggeng, are you still afraid that others will say you are the toilet god behind your back?"

"Ok!"

Bang Geng answered with his head buried in the quilt.

"These stinky gossips are just gossiping about others behind their backs. What's wrong with the Toilet God? The Toilet God is also a god!"

"If you don't have any respect for the gods, you will be reincarnated as a beast in your next life!"

First, she tilted her head and cursed fiercely, then Jia Zhang uncovered the quilt that covered Bang Geng's face and said, "Actually, grandma hates them too. Every day when I go to the No. 98 compound, they call me Grandma the Toilet God!"

"Great, so grandma is giving you an idea. Let's take care of these beasts. What do you think?"

When he heard Jia Zhang say that she was going to come up with a plan to deal with them, Bang Geng finally showed his head and asked curiously, "How do we deal with them?"

Jia Zhang smiled mysteriously, fished in her pocket, took out three cents and said, "Go to the supply club and buy a hanging firecracker first, then deliberately wander around the alley and see if anyone dares to point at you and say you are the toilet god."

"Then when she goes to the bathroom, you throw some firecrackers in there and blow the shit out of them sons of bitches, what do you say?"

Just hearing what Jia Zhang said, Bang Geng had already excitedly climbed out of the quilt. After taking the money from Jia Zhang and counting it, Bang Geng said with some dissatisfaction:

"Only 30 cents? That's only enough to buy a string of firecrackers. Who am I going to blow up?"

Seeing that Banggeng was so willing to go out and asked such a silly question, Jia Zhangshi laughed so hard that she stood up and said, "Are you stupid? You can split a whip into two pieces!"

"Wait until you blow up this thing and come back, I'll give you the money!"

"Okay! I'll go buy some whips now."

Banggeng agreed and nodded, jumped off the bed and wanted to rush to the door.

Jia Zhang quickly grabbed the thing and warned him, "Bang Geng'er, if there are people in the alley, don't throw it away. Remember not to let anyone see that it was you who threw it away, okay?"

Banggeng put on his coat and said impatiently, "Don't worry, no one knows how to do bad things better than me. If I take action, no one will be able to find out!"

After saying that, Banggeng rushed out of the house. Seeing that Banggeng was still so agile after lying on the kang for so many days, Jia Zhang's triangular eyes smiled into a crescent shape again.

"My goodness is so clever. Now he can go out and do some activities, and at the same time, he can vent his anger on behalf of his grandmother!"

"You bunch of beasts, you dared to disrespect the toilet god and his grandmother, and you deserve this retribution!"

"Everyone who cursed the toilet god will suffer retribution. I wonder if you dare not worship my stick as a god in the future."

After sitting on the kang and laughing for a while, Jia Zhang slapped her head again and said with some regret: "I actually forgot that I should let Bang Geng explode when he sees the people from the No. 98 compound..."

When it comes to the calculations, Jia Zhangshi can be said to be extremely vicious.

Banggeng first went to the supply company, and after coming back he wandered around in the alley for a long time. After someone called him the little toilet god, he huddled behind the toilet in the cold wind and waited for more than two hours.

“It stinks and it’s cold!”

Banggeng hid behind the brick wall of the toilet, occasionally peeking into the alley, then retreated back to lean against the wall, shivering, stamping his feet to cheer himself up and saying:

"No, no matter how cold it is, I can't go back. I must blow them up and scare them to death. Blow them up and cover them in shit. Scare them so much that they won't even have time to pull up their pants."

After gritting his teeth and enduring the biting cold wind for a while, Banggeng glanced outside and was surprised to see a woman in her fifties walking towards him in the distance.

"She looks familiar. She seemed to have said I was the toilet god at the entrance of the alley, right?" Banggeng retracted his head and scratched it: "Never mind. I've waited so long. Let's blow her up first."

Having made up his mind, after hearing the toilet door being pushed open, Bang Geng slowly took out half a firecracker from his arms.

"Twenty, nineteen..."

First count down and time it, and when the auntie inside should have taken off her pants, then light the match.

"呲~~"

The firecrackers were lit, and Bang Geng was thrown directly into the topmost vent. Without waiting for the explosion, Bang Geng rushed into his own yard and hid behind the Li family's house.

The aunt in the toilet closed her eyes and just felt relaxed, when she suddenly felt something hit her forehead. She opened her eyes and saw firecrackers hanging on the ground, flashing with fire.

The shrill screams instantly resounded throughout the alley.

"Ah~~"

"Bang, bang, bang..."

The explosion came late but arrived. The old lady didn't even have time to pull up her pants. She was so frightened by the explosion that she tilted her head and fell into the pit next to her, with half of her head buried in the squat toilet.

In order to make it convenient for many neighbors to empty their night incense in the morning, the size of each pit is naturally more than 30 to 40 centimeters wide, which is scary.

Luckily, the woman fell sideways instead of straight into the pit, so she was lucky enough not to fall into it.

But even this.

The old lady still had half her head covered in manure, even her eyes were blocked by it. With a strong stench in her nose, she scratched around in the pit on the ground with her hands, trying to get up.

The shrill scream and the sound of firecrackers just now attracted the attention of the Chaoyang residents who loved to watch the fun and popped their heads out from their courtyards.

However, there were not only no firecrackers or red paper in the alley, there wasn't even a single person in sight. Only heads were seen sticking out of the courtyard. Confused, everyone walked into the alley.

They had clearly heard shouting and firecrackers in the alley just now, so why was there no one and no red paper in the alley now?

Just as the people in the alley looked around and were scratching their heads in confusion, they heard someone in the toilet behind them calling for help softly: "Is there anyone here? Can anyone come and give me a hand?"

The men and women then poked their heads into the bathroom.

Relying on the geographical advantage, Yang Ruihua naturally became the person who peeked into the women's restroom.

"Why would someone put his head in a manure pit?"

When he looked out, Yang Ruihua saw a man with his big white butt sticking out, his head stuck in the pit, and his hands scratching around in the pit. After screaming in surprise, Yang Ruihua was so frightened by the scary scene that his stomach churned.

"Woo~~"

He quickly rushed to the side and leaned against the wall to vomit.

Several people behind him rushed in, but seeing the horrifying situation they did not dare to help.

Several aunties took a deep breath, pulled up her pants with all their strength, and then pulled her legs out of the pit and dragged her into the alley.

The auntie lay on the ground. Everyone was watching her but no one dared to touch her or call for help, because her face and hair were covered with dark yellow feces and straw paper.

The old lady groped her way to the toilet wall, reached out and wiped the feces that covered her nose and eyes, and only after her general face was revealed was she recognized by the crowd.

An auntie asked in disbelief: "Mrs. He, what's wrong with you?"

"Some beast deliberately used firecrackers to blow me up. I was squatting on the toilet when someone threw a firecracker into the toilet and it hit me right on the head. I was so scared that I tried to stand up, but my pants were pulled and my legs slipped."

After she finished explaining as mournfully as the weeping of a cuckoo, tears of grief and anger welled up in Mrs. He's eyes and flowed across her face, which was covered in feces.

She was really embarrassed this time, as she fell into a toilet pit while going to the toilet. She had been in charge of the Hutong Intelligence Center for twenty or thirty years, and she had rarely heard of such a stupid thing!

Now that such a stupid thing had happened to her, she cried so hard that she almost wanted to die, rather than stay in this world and be laughed at for decades.

But before that, Mrs. He gritted her teeth and yelled, "You are a man who will end my family lineage. How dare you throw a whip into the toilet? It's unjust to end my family lineage—"

Just as Mrs. He was still talking through gritted teeth, Yang Ruihua squeezed in front of Mrs. He and vomited again, "Mrs. He, stop talking through gritted teeth, your mouth is full of shit!"

As he said this, Yang Ruihua covered his mouth, rushed out of the crowd, and returned to his original place to vomit.

The neighbors who were watching hurriedly advised: "Mrs. He, you should go back and take a shower and change your clothes first, you——"

"Yes, yes, it's important to go back and take a shower first."

Listening to what the people around her said, Mrs. He knew that her face was completely thrown into the cesspool before she caught the beast who threw the firecrackers.

"You beast, don't let me catch you. If I catch you, I will stuff you into a manure pit and choke you to death." Glancing at the neighbors in front of her with red eyes, Mrs. He made a harsh remark.

The shrill echo was still reverberating in the alley. Mrs. He stood up with the help of the wall, wiping her face as she walked towards her own courtyard.

Jia Zhang, who was hiding behind the crowd with her head shrunk, was so happy to see this miserable scene, because every time she passed by the entrance of the alley.

She was often called affectionately by Mrs. He: "Grandma Toilet Goddess, you're back!"

Seeing that Mrs. He was so miserable, she was naturally very happy and wanted to praise Banggeng. However, Banggeng was smart and did not blend into the crowd to peek. Naturally, Jia Zhang was even happier.

"Bang Geng'er is really smart. In one word - OK!"

"After two days, if anyone finds out that they have cursed the Toilet God, the toilet will explode. From then on—"

Jia Zhang's eyes were filled with longing, already anticipating the scene where people from all over the alley would come to pay tribute to his family.

This time, Jia Zhang didn't say a word. Let's see what Director Wang can say this time!