Siheyuan: Survival Guide for Courtyard No. 95

When Zhao Shanhe heard the other party's words, his mind was completely confused. He was just 21 years old in the 18st century. If he had not seen the video of Qinman Siheyuan on "Kuaishou" when he was waiting for the job (mainly to see Sister Hao), he would not know that he had fallen into a wolf's den.

Image source: Baidu

What is there in this time and space? The steamed bread that leaves a tooth mark when you bite it? Or the white flour steamed buns that can only be eaten during the Chinese New Year? The social structure that requires tickets to buy things everywhere? Or the dry toilets that smell so bad in the summer that it kills people?

The most terrifying thing is the three years of natural disasters starting next year, and the ups and downs in a few years. All of this is no less than the big Mao attacking the second Mao. Human life is worthless.

Just say "regret" and that's it? Give me back my phone, my electric car, my KFC, my Tomato Novel VIP is a year-long subscription!

9527 From Zhao Shanhe's hateful eyes and trembling body, one could tell how angry the other party was, so he hurriedly explained.

"In order to compensate you for your loss, I don't know how many times I have traveled through time and space to find you. Fortunately, I have finally found you now. You can make any request you have. As long as it is within a reasonable range, I can agree to it."

Zhao Shanhe gradually calmed down at this time. After all, he had received nine years of compulsory education and knew that anger could not solve any problems, but would bring a lot of unnecessary trouble.

"I want to go back to my previous time and space, is that okay?"

This first request made 9527 silent, and he finally answered after a long while.

"In the calculation of the conversion of time and space, you have been dead for many years in the original space and time. It is like you have spent many years in the parallel space and time of this courtyard, but for me it is only a few days, so..."

"So I can't go back, right?"

In fact, Zhao Shanhe had long felt that he could not go back, as he was hit by a dump truck and turned into a bloody mess. If he could be resurrected, then this novel would have to be changed from an urban story to a fantasy one.

However, asking for an exorbitant price is basic common sense. Blocking all doors will make people desperate. At this time, even if you open a window the size of a fist, the desperate people will be grateful.

Since this guy called 9527 brags so much about himself, and knows about time and space travel, I would be ashamed to be called Zhao Shanhe if I don't kill him right now.

"Yes, according to Article 365 of the Six-Dimensional Spacetime Law, since you have already started your second life, it is impossible for you to return to your original spacetime and dimension. However, since this result was caused by my fault, I can give you some compensation in this spacetime, such as longevity, immunity from all diseases, extreme intelligence, amazing comprehension, and the talent of a martial arts master. What do you think?"

"No way."

Zhao Shanhe refused outright. These talents looked good, but they were not what he wanted. His mind was racing as he thought about what to say next.

“Living a hundred years and having good health, I can exercise more when I have nothing to do, and I can still live to at least seventy or eighty years old, which is not much worse than a hundred years old. As for being extremely smart, you also know what the fate of people who are too smart in my era is. I don’t need to say more, right?

The same goes for that guy with amazing understanding. I don't want to stand out too much. Isn't it good to live as an ordinary person?

As for the martial arts masters, China has been unified for several years. No matter how powerful their martial arts are, they have to lie down when faced with guns. They cannot establish their own school like Zhang Sanfeng, so what's the point of having them?

How about you think about something else?"

Although 9527 looks like an energetic young man, he has actually lived for countless years in the long river of time and space. Familiar with the history of various eras, he agrees with Zhao Shanhe's explanation. But when he thought about the compensation that he had to make to satisfy the other party, he grabbed a few handfuls of hair and continued.

"How about I draw a dragon on the left side of your chest and a rainbow on the right side? The rainbow will bring you luck in love, and the dragon will make you look like a flying monkey?"

Zhao Shanhe was sure that he was moved for a moment. After all, every man would want such a BUFF unless he practiced "The Book of the Sword of Exorcism" or "The Book of the Sunflower". But then he thought about what era he was living in?

With good luck in love and flying monkeys, this BUFF can be said to be a rich women harvester in 2024. You may even get a free meal at a foot massage parlor, but in this day and age you are a big peanut eater and will be dragged out and shot in 5 minutes.

With a wry smile on his face, as if he wanted it but didn't dare to take it, he shook his head and said to 9527.

"Can you give me something practical that I can use but is not easy to get? None of what you said is of any use to me.

If it really doesn't work, let's wait and think about it. After all, so many years have passed, and one or two days won't make a difference. What if you and I can think of a better solution?"

As soon as 9527 finished speaking, he got anxious. What the hell was he thinking about? He spent a lot of his savings to buy the Soul Chasing Talisman, and traveled through countless time and space to finally find the owner, wasn't it just to quickly complete the repair? Do you think it's easy to be in the turbulence of time and space?

Besides, if he delays any further, he might really have to go to the traffic team. Thinking about the traffic team working all year round and from 7 am to 9 pm, it is not a life for a human being. What is most frightening is that the leader of the traffic team is an old rich woman who has lived for who knows how long and she specializes in causing trouble for spirited young men.

"Wait, I have something good here."

As he spoke, he pulled the only button off his sleeve and handed it over.

"This is the most valuable thing I have. I'll use it to compensate you. This is the kind of thing you mentioned that is practical, useful, and not easy to get."

Seeing that the other party finally brought out some useful information, Zhao Shanhe stopped bargaining. He took the button and looked at it from left to right. It looked like an ordinary jade button, but it was covered with various patterns, just like the 9 yuan free shipping product he had seen on Pinxixi in his previous life.

"What is this? Are you sure you're not kidding me? How about you send me back to the 21st century and I'll buy you a few dozen for 9 yuan?"

This made 9527 fall silent again. He spent a lot of effort to get this item. After all, it was an item that could only appear when two black holes merged. If it wasn't for saving his organization, he would definitely not take it out.

He smiled bitterly, "Is this how I feel when I am the fish meat?" Through the conversation, he also saw that the other party was a cunning person.

"This thing is not simple. Although your time and space are in the Dharma Ending Age, if used properly, it can make you worry-free. Well, maintaining this state will also consume a lot of mana. Do you agree to accept this compensation? If not, we can talk about it next time, but I can guarantee that this is the best."

Although Zhao Shanhe didn't know what this button was, he had learned a little bit from observing people's expressions after two lifetimes. He could tell from 9527's expression that the other party was indeed in pain. Unless the other party was an actor, there was nothing he could do.

"Okay, I accept your compensation, but since I don't know if your thing is really useful, you still have to draw a dragon for me."

9527:..........