Siheyuan: I just want to live

After Chen Feng finished washing up, he rubbed his eyes, then pushed the shabby and rusty bicycle, slowly moving towards the scrap yard in a daze.

When he arrived at the scrapyard, he suddenly felt confused. He tried to recall the way he came, but his mind was blank, as if the memory was quietly taken away by a mysterious alien. He frowned and thought hard, but he could not piece together the specific details of the journey.

Chen Feng shook his head and decided not to dwell on this strange phenomenon. He reached out and gently scratched his hair, then walked to the stove and added some coal to make the fire burn more vigorously.

Then, he made a cup of steaming hot tea, picked up an old newspaper, and took out some meatballs and fish chunks from the space he carried with him, ready to enjoy a simple breakfast.

However, Chen Feng had just tasted a few bites of the food when a strong sense of sleepiness came over him like a tide, making it difficult for him to resist. His eyelids became heavier and heavier, as if a heavy burden was pressing on them.

The food on the table had not been cleared away yet, he just pushed the meatballs forward, then laid his head on the table without any scruples and fell into a sweet dream.

The employees at the scrap station were used to seeing Chen Feng like this in the morning, but they still looked at him with some envy. However, no one bothered Chen Feng.

It was not until Sun Xiaojuan arrived at the scrap station and saw Chen Feng sleeping on the table that her lively eyes turned slightly. Then she carefully pushed the door of the message room open a crack and slipped in.

Sun Xiaojuan tiptoed to Chen Feng's side, stretched out her small hand and gently pushed Chen Feng's shoulder, and shouted in a low voice: "Chen Feng, wake up, don't sleep anymore, I have something to tell you." However, Chen Feng had no response, still immersed in his dream, and turned a deaf ear to Sun Xiaojuan's calls.

Seeing this, Sun Xiaojuan pushed Chen Feng several more times and called him a few more times in a louder voice, but Chen Feng still showed no signs of waking up. In desperation, Sun Xiaojuan had to stop trying to wake Chen Feng up.

When she saw Chen Feng sleeping on the table wearing only a cotton coat, she couldn't help but feel a little worried, fearing that he would catch a cold. So she walked to the wall, took down the cotton coat hanging there, and gently put it on Chen Feng.

Turning her head to look at the meatballs and fish pieces on the table, Sun Xiaojuan's eyes revealed a subtle hesitation. However, she still made up her mind and made a resolute decision.

Sun Xiaojuan quickly took out a notebook from her backpack, opened it gently, picked up a pen and wrote on it stroke by stroke: "Chen Feng, I'm temporarily 'borrowing' the meatballs and fried fish nuggets, and I'll return them to you when I have the chance! Also, I helped you put on your cotton coat, so don't thank me!"

After writing, Sun Xiaojuan checked it carefully, confirmed that there were no omissions, signed her name, nodded with satisfaction, and then carefully tore the note off the notebook and gently placed it under the teacup.

Then, Sun Xiaojuan swiftly began to pick up the food on the table and packed it up carefully. During the whole process, her movements were light and cautious, as if she was afraid of making a sound and waking up Chen Feng who was sleeping soundly.

When everything was ready, Sun Xiaojuan quietly opened the door and tiptoed out of the message room. At the moment of leaving, she looked back to make sure the door was closed and to minimize the sound of closing the door so as not to disturb Chen Feng's sweet dream.

When everything was done, Sun Xiaojuan was about to go back to the finance office, and just as she was about to leave, she heard a voice.

"Xiaojuan, what are you doing?"

Sun Xiaojuan was startled by the sudden sound and almost screamed. She turned around mechanically and saw Li Guotao holding his bicycle and looking at her seriously.

When Sun Xiaojuan saw this, she immediately lowered her head in embarrassment, and unconsciously put her hands holding the paper bag behind her back. She stood there without daring to move, like a child who had done something bad and was caught.

Li Guotao looked at Sun Xiaojuan, who was like an ostrich, with a frown on his face and a hint of dissatisfaction in his eyes. After a moment of silence, he said in a serious tone: "Come with me to the office. We need to have a good talk."

After saying this, Li Guotao walked past Sun Xiaojuan without hesitation and walked forward, pushing his bicycle. Sun Xiaojuan seemed a little nervous and uneasy. She followed Li Guotao silently, with a slightly heavy step.

After entering the office, Li Guotao walked straight to his desk and sat down. He stared at Sun Xiaojuan, who was standing in front of the desk with her head down, as if counting ants, and said again: "Sit down! Let's sit down and talk first."

Sun Xiaojuan trembled slightly when she heard this. She slowly raised her head, glanced at Li Guotao with timid eyes, and then carefully sat down opposite him.

Despite this, she still didn't dare to look Li Guotao in the eye. Sun Xiaojuan now felt that every second was taking longer and she felt nervous and depressed.

It was Li Guotao who first asked, "What did you take from Chen Feng? Take it out!"

After hearing this, Sun Xiaojuan slowly took out the paper bag that had been hidden behind her and gently placed it on the table. Her movements seemed a little hesitant and uncertain, but she carefully unsealed the paper bag and said timidly, "These are the meatballs and fried fish nuggets that I borrowed from Chen Feng. I also wrote a note for them."

Li Guotao stared at the opened paper bag, and as he expected, it was filled with meatballs and fried fish nuggets. He raised his head, stared at Sun Xiaojuan in front of him, and asked in confusion: "Chen Feng was asleep, how did he lend you these foods?"

When Sun Xiaojuan heard Li Guotao's question, she lowered her head again, as if trying to avoid his gaze. Li Guotao noticed Sun Xiaojuan's silence and became more curious. He continued to ask

"Your salary is not low! 37.5 yuan a month should be enough to support your family, right? Why do you still need these things?" There was a hint of confusion in his tone, as if he was puzzled by Sun Xiaojuan's behavior.

When Sun Xiaojuan heard Li Guotao's question, she raised her head slightly and said bitterly, "I don't want to either! Huaimin and I got sick just two years after we got married. We sold all our houses but still couldn't keep him, and we still owed a lot of money. Her mother became paralyzed all of a sudden because of this."

"We've just gotten through the hard times, but the heavy snow has crushed our house again. We don't have much money left to repair it. But Huaimin's little cousin came over a few days ago."

"It is said that the snow collapsed the house. Huaimin's uncle and his family were buried under the snow, leaving only a little grandson. The third uncle and fourth aunt also had their legs broken by the beams of the house."

"Now the canteen in the commune in Huailai County can no longer operate, and there is no food at home. He brought a few nephews aged five or six to my house and knelt down to beg my parents-in-law, hoping that they could take in the children and give them a bite to eat."

"My father-in-law agreed. When my cousin left, he gave him the few dozen dollars left in the family and exchanged the food coupons for food for him to take back."

"Now there are four more children in the family, and there is no ration yet. What can I do? Why is my life so miserable? I haven't had a single good day since I got married!"

Sun Xiaojuan started crying on the table, and her crying startled Li Guotao, who was sitting opposite her, and he said hurriedly, "Don't cry! If you cry, people outside will think I did something to you."

Sun Xiaojuan turned a deaf ear to him and just lay on the table crying without even raising her head to look at Li Guotao.

Li Guotao stood up, wrapped the meatballs and placed them in front of Sun Xiaojuan, and said comfortingly, "Okay, don't cry. I don't think Chen Feng cares about these things, so I won't punish you. Hurry up and take the things away, and go back to the finance office to work!"

But Sun Xiaojuan still didn't get up and kept crying. Li Guotao saw that his persuasion had no effect and walked around the office anxiously.

Suddenly, Li Guotao seemed to have thought of something. He walked to the door of the office, opened it, and shouted to the outside, "Li Dahua, come here quickly and come to the office."

Li Dahua, who was sorting glass bottles over there, heard the stationmaster's call and immediately answered loudly, "Hey! I'm here, I'm coming right away."

Then, Li Dahua quickly stopped what she was doing and ran to the office door. When she was about to reach the office door, she suddenly heard a woman crying from inside the door.

The crying aroused Li Dahua's strong curiosity, so she stretched her head forward. Since Sun Xiaojuan was lying on the table, Li Dahua could not see clearly who was inside.

Then, Li Dahua turned around and asked Li Guotao behind her in a low voice: "Stationmaster, who is crying in there?"

Li Guotao frowned and answered helplessly, "It's Accountant Xiaojuan. Something happened to her family. I've been trying to persuade her for a long time, but it doesn't work. Why don't you go in and help her?"

After hearing this, Li Dahua looked at Li Guotao with a puzzled look, and muttered to herself: "This accountant Xiaojuan usually looks quite cheerful, why is she crying so sadly all of a sudden?"

However, since the stationmaster had spoken, Li Dahua felt embarrassed to refuse, so she nodded and agreed, "Okay, I'll go in and try." After that, she gently pushed the door open, walked in, and closed the door at the same time, leaving no chance for Li Guotao to go in.

Li Guotao looked at the closed office door, took out a cigarette depressedly and lit one.

At this time, Zhou Ping came out of the warehouse next door and heard crying in the office. So he was a little curious and asked Li Guotao who was smoking, "Stationmaster, who is crying in your office?"

Stationmaster Li was feeling depressed at the moment. Seeing Zhou Ping still asking questions at this time, he frowned and said in a serious tone, "What are you asking about? Is this what you should be asking about? Do you have nothing to do? If you have nothing to do, go and help Lao Wang sort out the waste paper!"

Zhou Ping saw that Li Guotao had a bad tone, so he wisely shut his mouth and ran towards the shed.

Li Guotao looked at Zhou Ping running away, took a deep puff of his cigarette, and then muttered, "What is going on?"