Doomsday Rebirth: The heroine comes back with the system

I'm probably crazy.

After escaping from City X to City K.

I can no longer tell the difference between day and night.

I don’t know how many days have passed, nor do I know what year it is today.

I was in a daze.

My uncle slapped me hard in the face.

He scolded me for being such a coward for being so half-dead and half-living for a woman.

I just stared at him and told him to keep hitting, hitting hard.

He seemed to think I was crazy, cursed at me a few more times, then slammed the door and left.

I also think I'm crazy.

The slap didn't hurt at all, I just felt no pain in my body.

It's like I can't feel any evidence that I'm still alive.

I started having nightmares all night long, in which I was back to when I was five years old.

The woman poured ice water over my body over and over again.

She looked at me fiercely: "Get sick soon, little bastard, if you're not sick your dad won't come at all!"

As she said that, she pushed me into the ice water pool and glared at me mercilessly.

There was only disgust in his dark eyes: "It would be best if I could be seriously ill for more than a month."

The icy water was freezing, and I shivered as I looked at this superior woman.

my mother.

I didn't want to resist, and as I was too young to know what resistance was.

I obediently soaked in the ice water in pain.

All I know is that my mother wants me to be sick, so I have to get sick quickly.

I sank my body into the water.

Silently praying that I would get sick soon.

Later, I always fell ill as I wished.

In my vague consciousness, I knew that man was coming.

My biological father, the high and mighty chairman of Xing Group.

I know he had many lovers, and my mother was one of them.

But she was soon hated and abandoned by my biological father, and she became crazy because of it.

She blamed everything on me, saying that it was because of me that her belly became loose, her face had wrinkles, and she was no longer beautiful, which was why she was abandoned.

She always woke up crying in the middle of the night, then made a noise, smashed things, and beat and scolded me.

"Little beast!"

"It's all your fault. Why don't you just die, you little bastard!"

"You are simply here to collect debts, get out of here!"

"Why aren't you dead yet?"

I squatted in the corner and cried and called her mother over and over again.

I want to seek a little maternal love from her.

When I was little, I didn’t understand why my mother hated me so much.

Why was my childhood so painful?

By the time I was seven, I no longer wanted her love.

I started to feel numb.

At an age when other kids of my age were happy, I was depressed every day.

"Ms. Ji Linlin, your child is suffering from severe psychological trauma. It is estimated that he has severe depression and may have other mental illnesses. Please cooperate with us and actively seek treatment..."

"No need, get out of my house!"

"Ms. Ji Linlin, you..."

"boom--!"

The private doctor was kicked out.

I looked at the woman's indifferent back numbly.

That night, I cut the artery with a sharp knife.

At that moment, I lost all desire to live.

Unfortunately, I didn't die, I was rescued.

In the ward, I could hear the angry voice of the man outside the door: "Ji Linlin, I promise to give you the title of Eighth Wife, and Xing Yi can also be included in the Xing family tree. Please stop torturing the child, okay?"

"Really, Aze, you are really willing to accept me, right?"

"You are simply a lunatic, the child is innocent!"

……

The woman got into the Xing family as she wished.

Her mood began to improve and her attitude towards me became better.

that night.

The woman came to the training class to pick me up after class.

That was the first time she came to pick me up.

The street lights are a warm orange-yellow.

It made her feel a little warmer.

It was also the first time that she smiled at me.

She walked towards me and called me Xiaoyi softly.

Then he looked at me with a surprised smile: "Xiao Yi, why are you crying? Did the teacher scold you in class today?"

I was choking with sobs and couldn't answer her question, so I just shook my head.

That was the first time I felt the warmth she gave me, even if it was only a little bit.

But the young me didn’t know that what was waiting for me would be an even deeper abyss.

That night she took me to a party with the wives of the Xing family.

She was so happy because Xing Chenze finally acknowledged her identity and arranged for her to attend the ladies' party.

Being able to attend the gathering of the wives of the Xing family is equivalent to officially joining Xing Chenze’s wives group.

She dressed up and dressed me up too.

But at the party, the seven ladies were obviously unwilling to accept her and found various ways to make things difficult for her.

She was already in a very bad mood.

Afterwards, I made a fool of myself in a talent competition for children that was deliberately arranged by the wives.

Those young masters and princesses who were raised in luxury in the Xing family learned all their talents from private tutors since childhood.

And in the seven years that I followed her, I never even attended a full year of school.

I stood on the stage in a daze, feeling helpless under the mocking gazes of the ladies below the stage.

I glanced at them frantically and finally found my mother.

She stood behind the crowd and looked at me angrily.

It was as if I was the biggest stain in her life.

When we got home that night, she beat me up severely.

After that night, I was completely heartbroken.

I also deeply understood the truth that the weak are bullied.

I want to become stronger.

If I were strong, she wouldn't feel ashamed of me and wouldn't hit me.

If I become strong, those wives and their children will not look at me like trash.

I began to concentrate on studying.

I studied very hard and endured very hard.

I want to fight for the Xing family's property.

I will eliminate all those who stand in my way.

……

I was awakened by childhood nightmares over and over again.

Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, I seem to be back in my childhood, and the cold room is like that cold pool.

It always makes me feel suffocated.

And then I always dream about the time when the doomsday just happened.

I dreamed that I watched that woman die in front of me.

She was bitten by a zombie and fell to the ground, twisting her head and looking at me in pain:

"Xiao Yi, save mommy!"

"Xiao Yi, save me!"

As I climbed higher and higher, she started to call me Xiaoyi and spoke sweetly to me every day.

What a loving mother she seems to be.

But in my heart, she is no longer my mother.

I stabbed her a few more times indifferently, and then I walked out in a daze, watching her stare with her eyes wide open and no longer breathing.

At that moment, what filled my heart was neither refreshment nor relief.

But it is painful.

This woman who had tortured me for so long, she's dead.

Why am I still in so much pain.

I don't know and I don't want to go into details.

I think the end of the world is very suitable for me, for this living dead who appears alive but whose soul is long dead.

Then I dreamed of Nan Sheng again.

I dreamed of the moment she fell from the rope to save me.

I saw the warm sunshine.

It was the first time I realized that the sun was so warm.

She saved me that time.

No, to be precise, she didn't save me, she revived my dead soul.

From that day on, I felt my heart come alive.

It would beat faster, it would heat up my body, it would make me sad.

even.

It makes me happy.

I have never experienced such a joyful feeling.

Time and time again, I woke up from my dream.

Time and time again, I forced myself to fall asleep.

I want to see her.

In my dream, I reviewed the time I spent with her over and over again.

It would be nice if I could die in a dream, I thought.

But things don't always go as planned.

The beautiful dream didn’t last long, and I began to dream about the day she was swallowed by the explosion.

It seemed like a punishment for me not appreciating it.

I lost her again and again in my dreams.

Watching her disappear before my eyes.

Along with the explosion, my living heart was also destroyed.

I hate my own incompetence.

Why don’t I have the courage and determination to save Jiang Heng?

Why can my supernatural power only create phantoms?

What a useless power.

In my dream, I transformed into shadows again and again and rushed towards the fire.

But every time, the shadow disappeared when it was about to get close to the fire.

I cannot see what the phantom sees.

Can't feel the touch of the phantom.

This hidden supernatural power that was praised to the sky by others was so useless that it couldn't even save the person he loved.

……

I'm probably crazy.

In order to not relive the pain of losing her again, I forced myself not to sleep.

When I was extremely sleepy, I even saw her phantom.

But when I reach out my hand, the phantoms disappear.

I couldn't help but imagine, if God saw how much pain I was in, would he give me a chance to be closer to her in the next life.

Every time I think of this, I can't help but laugh at myself for dreaming.

It doesn’t matter if there isn’t one. Someone like her is suitable for a more perfect man.

Besides, she doesn't like me so much that she might feel unlucky when she sees me.

Don’t you think so, Nan Sheng?

……

I am Xing Yi, and I am moved.