After rebirth, she first killed the book thief, and she was busy writing articles to save people

"Don't be so nervous." Gui Hongyan laughed, "I'm not saying that your writing is bad."

"I know." Jiang Baige answered woodenly.

But where Gui Hongyan couldn't see, she was bending over, picking up the pieces of her heart that were scattered on the ground bit by bit.

"It's me, I don't like watching this type of movie..." Gui Hongyan continued - it seems that the two of them are in two different dimensions, trying to find a balance, "I may not be particularly adapted to such a fast-paced state."

"Fast pace?"

"Yes. So... before I told you the truth, I was actually very hesitant." Gui Hongyan smiled a little embarrassedly, "Because I was afraid that you would think I was old-fashioned and out of touch with the times."

The teacher you respect admits in front of you that he is "out"?

Jiang Baige couldn't believe her ears.

She asked for no reason: "Teacher Gui, have you read Jingchai's book?"

Gui Hongyan didn't expect her to suddenly change the subject, but nodded anyway: "Of course... She really caused a storm in the literary world last year. How could I not read an author like this?"

This made Jiang Baige even more convinced that teachers are also human.

"Then do you like her Lilith?"

"I like it very much." Gui Hongyan did not hide the surprise and expectation in her eyes. She suddenly remembered, "Jingchai... is from Lincheng University like you. Do you... know each other?"

Jiang Baige hummed softly.

A complex emotion was spreading in her heart.

The author I like is also liked by my teacher, which shows that they have some similarities in their aesthetic preferences, which is very gratifying.

But when she heard her respected teacher say that he liked Jingchai's novels, praised Jingchai's talent, and looked forward to Jingchai's future, but couldn't continue reading her novel, she felt sad.

It wasn't jealousy, she knew it.

The Jingchai who wrote the novel was not the one she knew in daily life. He was just a writer, no different from other writers she liked.

She never gets jealous of the talent of creators. She only loves and admires them, takes them as role models, and even enthusiastically promotes them to people around her. Because she is that kind of person, she wants everyone to know about good things.

What really made her sad was: Why didn't she have such talent? Was it really impossible for her to make a living as a writer?

Although she had always avoided letting herself fall into the pain of such self-doubt.

But there is no way. Because she is not Jiang Baige who is still a graduate student in her twenties, she is Jiang Baige who starved to death at the age of 30 because she chose to write. If someone who turns back only after hitting a wall is already stubborn and hopeless, then someone like her who still refuses to turn back after hitting a wall like this, and who insists on climbing over the wall to see the scenery behind it, is... I'm afraid there is no appropriate adjective to describe it.

But... choosing this path doesn't mean I won't regret it.

When readers criticized her novels, she was so upset that she couldn't write a single word.

But when Taiyang Tiandan liked her so much that he even gave her gifts, and Linlang started reading her novels from authors she admired, she felt that she was good enough again.

Especially later, Jingchai and Lin Xingran both came to praise her work.

She began to become a little proud, thinking that the path she had chosen must be the right one, that she could support herself and even lead a good life: how lucky she was, she had found the love of her life and could support herself with it.

And now, her little flame of excitement was extinguished directly by Gui Hongyan who couldn't bear to watch it.

She had to face herself again——

In fact, the data has long been there, right? As Zhou Zhou said, she has been writing for almost four years, and a small explosion is "deserved", then...what if it doesn't happen? Should she recognize herself and give up struggling?

Like in the previous life, after graduating from graduate school, find a better job. If you are not satisfied, change it in time, but remember: you have to find a job.

She should be different from her previous life. She should not feel unwilling to give up while working and still want to write. She should not write on her own. In that case, she would lose both her stable job and the time she had lost when she decided to give up writing.

At this moment, her mind was in chaos until Gui Hongyan's voice came again.

"Your expression looks like you've been deeply hurt."

"Really?" Jiang Baige calmed down and said jokingly, speaking her true feelings, "Then I have already picked up the fragments that were scattered all over the ground."

"You mentioned the thorn hairpin just now. What do you want to express?"

"I'm expressing my envy." Jiang Baige maintained a smile on her face. "I've been envious of her since the first time I saw her novel published in a magazine. I don't have the talent and experience to match her... and what you said just now, teacher, proves this point."

At this moment, Gui Hongyan suddenly realized something else: "You mentioned to me before that you were writing novels, and I thought that was great. But have you actually decided to make a living by writing novels in the future?"

"Yes."

“But I thought you would be like all the other writers before you, get a job, support yourself, and then write novels.”

Sure enough - everyone thinks so.

But only Jiang Baige had tried it and failed, so she knew that this path was not feasible.

"I'll probably... write a novel, but if I can't make sure I can support myself before I graduate, I probably won't write."

"Then maybe you know that even an author like Jingchai who has good abilities and opportunities and can write good works may not be able to support himself with his royalties?"

Jiang Baige certainly knew.

Even Jingchai herself knew it, otherwise Chen Xi would not have found a job "to support Jingchai" - although this was a joke, there is always inevitable sincerity mixed in with jokes.

"I seem to be the kind of person who can't divide my heart into two. I don't want to live a neutral life. I want to live a more extreme life: find a career that I really love and do it, instead of having to go to work and then make myself miserable every day. I even dare not sleep on Sundays for fear that I have to open my eyes and go to work again."

This is a very idealistic statement, and is far from what Jiang Baige said last semester when she discussed with Gui Hongyan the hope of making money to buy a house.

But that is her, and this is also her.

"But if it doesn't work, I will give up on this thing completely: I can't do it, I accept my fate. Then I will go to work and find a job with a good leader and content that is not unbearable..."

Jiang Baige stopped talking here.

After a while, he continued, "But when I got to that point just now, I suddenly realized that I couldn't imagine such a life. So... maybe no matter if I have talent or not, I only have one choice: to write."

As for whether he is dead or alive...

She had died once, so it seemed like there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.