HP: Embrace the Darkness

My name is Draco Malfoy.

The first time I met Ases was at his birthday party.

Ases was dazzling that day and everyone's eyes were on him.

It was strange that I also wanted to see him. My father asked me to make friends with him, so I went there reluctantly.

To be honest, I don’t know how to make friends, especially with people who are too dazzling, so when I went there, I just looked at him helplessly. To my surprise, he actually reached out his hand to me.

When that pair of warm hands fell on my head, I silently declared in my heart that he was my friend.

I was very happy that he didn't refuse.

The next time I saw Athis was in Diagon Alley at sunset.

That day I heard my father praising the Savior again, and I was envious and annoyed. I don’t know if you can understand the feeling of having an impossible-to-surpass peer pressing down on you on the road to growth. Anyway, I was very annoyed and angry at that time, so I secretly ran out by myself, but I don’t know what happened, I got lost and couldn’t go back. I walked alone for a long time, and the moment I saw Asseth, I was happier than when I saw my father. He sent me home and promised to come and see me again. He is so nice.

He really came to see me, but he brought another person with him. I kind of disliked that person at first, but that person actually attracted my attention with Quidditch.

I hesitated for a long time between Quidditch and Aces, and finally chose Quidditch.

I regretted it later. If I had the chance again, I would definitely choose Ases.

I was finally eleven years old. It was my first time at Hogwarts. I saw the Savior and went up to him to make friends. Unexpectedly, he rejected me (drawing a little man to poke Harry). How dare he! How dare he! Aces didn’t reject me! He actually rejected me!! But it doesn’t matter. With Aces here, I don’t need him as a friend.

I will always remember the day I had my first flying lesson, because that day I became Ases's younger brother, and I can swear to Merlin that this was my luckiest day.

Aces has joined the Quidditch team. I am very happy that my favorite person has participated in my favorite activity. However, I am a little envious when I see Aces flying in the sky. When can I join Quidditch? I also want to fly freely in the sky.

On the day when the Slytherin Quidditch team won, they held a celebration in the common room. I waited for a long time before Aces came back to the common room, but he was snatched away by those annoying people after talking to me for a while. I looked at him, as dazzling and as the center of attention as he was on his birthday party, and I felt a little unhappy. Let me make it clear that I am not jealous. I just feel that Aces has so many friends, am I, a little waste who knows nothing, really important to him?

But I didn't expect that Goyle and Black misunderstood what I meant and mocked Ases. I didn't want to be misunderstood by Ases, and I didn't want them to target Ases, so I warned them sternly. My voice was too loud, and Ases, who was not far away, seemed to see it. He came over and asked me what was wrong. I didn't know how to explain, so I remained silent. He also fell silent. I thought he was angry and was afraid that he would regret not having me as his brother. Coupled with the pressure from the past, I couldn't help crying.

Ases noticed that I was crying, sighed, walked away from everyone, took me to his dormitory, and chatted with me.

We talked a lot that day, and that was the first time he hugged me.

In his embrace, I don’t have to think about anything and I’m not afraid of anything.

After comforting me, he took me on a night walk to the Forbidden Forest, where I met Estella's family.

I am very happy. This is the happiest day since I came to Hogwarts, except for becoming Athis's younger brother.

Estela got beaten up and I happened to be in the middle of it while I was being detained.

I was really scared at the time, but I stood by Estella.

Not only because Estella is my friend, but also because of Assés. I know they have a good relationship and Assés treats Estella the same way he treats me. I don't want him to be sad, nor do I want Estella to be hurt.

This was probably the closest I have ever been to death. My mind was blank and I completely forgot about dodging. When I came to my senses, Ases appeared.

Although his voice and body shape were different, the sense of security he brought to me was the same. I recognized him instantly. He fought off the enemy with a few moves, healed Estella, and even remembered my cut hand. I was very happy. It turned out that I was also very important in his heart.

After curing me and Estela, he scolded both of us in private. I was scared at first, but I didn’t expect that he opened his arms to me just after I explained. I happily jumped into his arms. His hug was still so warm and I was not scared at all.

Later, time seemed to suddenly speed up, and a lot of things happened in the blink of an eye.

The first is the resurrection of Voldemort.

When I learned that Voldemort was resurrected, my heart sank. My family is a Death Eater. It's okay when Voldemort is not around, but once Voldemort returns, my father, my family, and even I will have to work for him.

I didn't want to implicate Aces and my godfathers and godmothers, so I found him and advised him to stay away from me. However, he smiled and told me that he had known about it for a long time and that he didn't mind and would protect me. I was very happy, very happy, but I still didn't want to implicate him, so I kept it from him and took on Voldemort's task of killing Dumbledore.

I can't do it, I overestimated myself.

I was in the bathroom, doubting myself and crying uncontrollably.

At this time, Ases got the news from somewhere and came to find me. I didn't want him to see me in such a miserable state, so I yelled at him and told him to get out.

He sighed softly, then came over, pulled me up and hugged me gently.

His embrace was as warm as ever, and I breathed in the scent of his neck almost fondly. This was my favorite embrace since I was a child, but he suddenly froze, and before I knew what was happening, he gently pushed me away. I turned around and saw that it was Snape, my father's friend and my dean.

I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but the way Ases looked at him seemed to be more gentle than the way he looked at me.

For the first time, I felt that Ases's gentleness was so dazzling. They walked closer to talk, and I couldn't help but interrupt them.

They stopped talking and Ases came over to comfort me again.

But I still felt bad because Asseth was absent-minded when he was comforting me.

Who is he thinking about?

The war was over, and Snape was dead. I don't know why, but I felt a little panicked. At this time, my father came in and told me an incredible news with a complicated face - Athis disappeared with Snape's body.

My heart was filled with bitterness. In fact, I had probably guessed that Ases was most likely in love with that gloomy man, but why him? He was not worth it at all.

I was very confused. I wanted to find Ases and ask him what he was going to do. I wanted to stop him from doing dangerous things, but I always felt that I shouldn't meet him at this time, and I had no right to stop him.

As a younger brother?

not enough.

unless……

At that time, I finally vaguely felt that the feelings between us were no longer pure, or rather, my feelings for him were no longer pure.

I was in a daze for a while, and then I received a shocking news - Snape was resurrected again.

Resurrected!

How can it be!

After hearing the news, I went to look for Ases like crazy, because I knew that such an almost impossible task as resurrecting a person could not be easy.

As expected, Ases went blind.

I looked at Snape with resentment, the wand in my sleeve itching to cast a killing curse on him.

But I can't do it.

He was saved by Ases at the cost of his own eyes, and Ases certainly wouldn't want to see me do this.

It rained heavily that day. I said nothing and left in silence.

Not long after, I received the news that Ases' eyes had recovered, and at the same time, the news that they were together was made public.

I was very conflicted when I heard the news. I wanted to see how Ases' eyes had recovered, but I also didn't want to see their loving scenes. I couldn't resist.

This conflicting mentality almost drove me crazy, so I locked myself in the room for a week.

My parents noticed my abnormality. They didn't understand what was wrong with me, so they asked Ases to persuade me.

After a long time, he came to Malfoy Manor and asked me to open the door to my room, but I just held the pendant in my hand, as if doing so could bring us back to the past.

After shouting to no avail, he became worried and angry, and broke down my door. He should have wanted to scold me, but unfortunately I was in such a mess that when he saw me, he didn't even want to scold me. He just asked me what happened.

I can't say it.

That I had feelings for him that shouldn't exist?

Or should I ask him if he can break up and be with me?

None of these work.

So I casually brought up someone and said I didn't know how to pursue her.

Ases seemed to be a lot more relaxed and was eager to give me advice.

I know that he felt relieved because I didn't tell him that I liked him. Yes, he had noticed it, otherwise he wouldn't have avoided me in the days that followed.

I am aware of this too.

I went from being against getting married to actively contacting marriage partners arranged by my parents.

I am married.

I treat the girl I "like" very well, just like Ases treats me, because I have someone in my heart and I feel I owe her something.

Luckily the girl was very understanding and didn't mind that I didn't seem to like her that much.

She is also very gentle and gives me little surprises from time to time.

I will also try my best to surprise her in return.

The only thing I can't give her is love, no matter how hard I try.

As expected, you shouldn’t meet someone too amazing when you are young, otherwise you will never fall in love with anyone else in your next life.

My child was born.

I got drunk that night, and the next day I went to see Athis and asked him to be the godfather of my child.

He looked at me for a long time, and I used my lifelong acting skills to play the role of a new father. He finally smiled and agreed to my request without any hesitation. He touched my head and said that I had grown up and had my own children.

I looked at him carefully and found that there was only pure relief and joy in his eyes.

At that moment, I suddenly felt relieved.

We are just brothers.

We can only be brothers.

From that day on, I tried hard to control my surging emotions and reduce the number of times I met Athis. It happened that he and Snape were traveling, so I didn't have to rack my brains to think of how to avoid him, because I couldn't see him at all.

The days passed by.

I gradually got used to the existence of an unreachable bright moon in my life, and slowly learned to put the focus of my life back on my family and career.

Only when it is late at night and everyone is asleep will I stare at the moon in the sky in a daze, mourning the love that has not had time to sprout all afternoon.

In the end, I am going to die.

My son, grandsons and granddaughters surrounded my bed, looking at me with tears in their eyes.

I breathed hard, and my cloudy vision swept around, finally landing on the girl. I, Draco Malfoy, have never been ashamed of anyone in my life, except for my legitimate wife. I didn't love her, but I trapped her by my side.

As if she understood what I was thinking, she came closer and told me that she was actually very happy in her life. She was respected by her husband, had company from her children, had a successful career, and a happy family. She had nothing to be dissatisfied with.

As she spoke, she laughed happily and lowered her voice to tell me that she also had someone she loved but could not have, so we were even and she asked me not to be sad.

I looked into her gentle eyes, still feeling sad. As early as when we got married, all her information was placed in front of me. I naturally knew that there was no one she couldn't get the love she wanted.

I guess this is a white lie.

But I no longer have the energy to expose it.

Since she thinks this will make me happy, I will smile and make her feel at ease.

I forced a smile.

When she saw me smile, she felt a lot more relaxed and started smiling too.

I took one last look at her and the children, hoping they wouldn't feel sad for me, then I slowly closed my eyes. My consciousness began to fade away, and the crying became farther and farther away from me.

I thought of Assais again.

Actually, looking back now, it’s not surprising that I fell in love with Asseth.

His gentleness permeated my entire youth, shining brightly and lastingly.

He tolerates my willfulness, cares about my mood, feels sorry for my pain, and protects my safety. He even gives me the affirmation that my parents didn't give me. What reason do I have not to fall in love with him? I just didn't expect that he didn't love me.

But it doesn’t matter, because of him, I still live a very happy life.

But brother, in the next life, can you please like me, just a little bit?

A ball of white light appeared in front of my eyes.

In the white light, the radiant Aces walked towards me, and like countless times before, I quickly threw myself into his arms.

I knew it was death.

But I am still happy because I can finally tell you that I love you, brother.

I am dead.

Draco Malfoy, 134.