After becoming a god on earth, I always want to lie down

"Why do you do this?" After a while, Chris finally came back to his senses from her malicious sarcasm. "I know, and you know that this is not what you really mean."

He tightly grasped the back of the sofa, with veins on the back of his hands exposed. "Also, I don't believe it. I don't believe that I am still a substitute for a phantom until now. I forgive you... I forgive you for your careless words. You just want to avoid the real problems, so you put up thorns all over your body, stabbing me and making me hurt... I forgive you..."

As he finished speaking, his strength gradually faded away and his voice gradually became lower.

As if not wanting to look at him again, Yang Yi turned his back and said, "Why bother deceiving yourself?"

Chris still insisted on his point of view. It seemed that he was not talking to Yang Yi, but convincing himself: "I won't believe anything you say now... When people are emotional, they can say anything... What really reflects a person is not what she says, but what she does..."

This sentence gave him strength again. He looked at Yang Yi with burning eyes, at his lover, at the most powerful girl in the world whose heart was scarred:

“You said you were just in love with a false illusion, but you listened carefully to my frustrations and experiences.

"You say you are humble and insignificant, but there is no one in this world who can do better than you.

“You say you’re a coward, but you didn’t flinch at all when facing those monsters that even you were afraid of.

"You may only love me a little...but you love this world, you love humanity, you are greater and braver than anyone else in this world, don't make yourself sound so terrible!

"You're just stuck, stuck in your past, and you keep trying to escape it..."

Chris' tone was full of pity, but it made Yang Yi furious, not to mention this presumptuous speculation about her past.

"Great? Brave?" Yang Yi sneered, "Trapped by the past? You think you know me?"

"You know what? I hate this world. I wish it would explode right now!

"I hate humans even more. Ugly humans. They are selfish, hypocritical, vicious, stupid, and short-sighted! I would rather be a maggot, digging around in shit all day long, than be a human being!"

Her breathing became rapid, and her chest rose and fell with excitement. She seemed to be looking at Chris, and through Chris, she seemed to be looking at the whole world, all of humanity:

"I can only feel peaceful when there is no one around. Why do you bother me? Why don't you let me stay alone in Haibei City? I am a selfish person. I don't want to care about the disasters of you humans. Even if you all die in the apocalypse, what does it have to do with me? Even if the whole world is destroyed, I will be happy!!!

"Ever since I was old enough to understand, I have hoped that this disgusting world would end soon. If the price is to be buried with myself, I will happily jump into the grave and be buried with this damn world!!!"

Yang Yi shouted, panting, her pale cheeks flushed with two sickly blushes, and her pupils showed neurotic madness.

Some of these words came completely from the heart, while others were just for venting, to vent the anger and depression that had been pent up for more than 20 years.

The surging anger and resentment poured into her chest from all over her body, almost making her explode.

At this moment, she just wanted to vent completely, wanted to take off this hypocritical skin, expose her bones and muscles, step on her own blood, and run wildly in this world that she hated.

Chris was shocked by these sudden words and it took him a long time to recover.

"No, no, I know you love this world, otherwise you wouldn't save it, even at the cost of your own life several times..."

The corners of Yang Yi's eyes twitched unconsciously, and he sneered, "Yes, sometimes I also have the illusion that I love humans and this world, and feel that this world is not completely useless, and there are also lovely things in it...

"But when I got close to them, when I had a close connection with them, when I saw them clearly, hatred could not stop growing! At this time, I knew that love is an illusion! What I love is an illusory human being, an ideal human being, not a real human being... He is right, what I love is just my own fantasy..."

She muttered to herself, sometimes talking nonsense, sometimes uttering a few subconscious words, perhaps even she herself didn't know what she wanted to express.

Suddenly, she stared at Chris intently, and said sarcastically with a smile: "Just like I love you, but I only love an illusion created in your image. When you really come to me, I will start to hate you!"

Chris slowly let her go, his hands trembling, and fell weakly on the sofa.

His whole body was numb. Yang Yi's words seemed to float in from far away, like the echo in an empty valley. Every word was deafening, and yet because they were too real, they seemed distorted - more like a nightmare that happened at midnight.

He wanted to say something, but his thoughts were mixed into a mess, and his brain was in a chaos as if it had been hit hard. It took him a long time to recover.

Although he had always hoped that she would be frank, this was definitely not what he wanted to hear. He even began to hate himself. He hated himself for provoking her today and bringing about this unexpected disaster when he had clearly endured it for so long.

Gradually, he recovered from his own pain, but fell into another new pain, which caused his heart to swell and aches, and finally to begin to ache.

The pain was not because she said she hated him, but because he sympathized with her anger and felt sorry for her experience. He never knew that she was so tormented and helpless in her heart, and he thought he loved her, but he knew nothing about it.

Compassion and heartache welled up in Chris's heart. He felt that at this moment he understood her better than ever and loved her more than ever.

He went forward to hug her, but she struggled several times. Chris ignored her resistance and stubbornly hugged this thorny hedgehog tightly in his arms, even though he got pricked all over.

They hugged each other like this for about three or four minutes, or maybe only a dozen seconds. At this moment, they could not feel the passage of time.

Yang Yi's excitement gradually subsided, but sadness and guilt surged up: she vented her anger to Chris because she knew he loved her, but her resentment came from those she hated.

How cowardly and incompetent she was! She thought it was meaningless to take revenge on those people, but she knew how to make those who loved her suffer.

Yang Yi put her hands on his chest, trying to distance them. "I'm a psychopath, I'm a lunatic, can't you see that? I'm not normal! If you still have a bit of rationality, you should leave me immediately, forever..."

She said with her head down because she didn't want Chris to see her crying.

He held me so tightly, so tightly that I couldn't break free without hurting him.

But she didn't want to hurt him at all.

"I have no reason! When I fell in love with you, reason disappeared!" Chris shouted, "I am just a fool in love, and I believe I will always be such a fool..."

When a person falls in love with another person wholeheartedly, he not only loves her beauty and the happiness she brings to him, but also loves her misfortune, her hatred and anger, and even her meanness and ugliness.

"No, no... I will drag you down into the abyss... I am enough down there..." She murmured some unclear words, and suddenly, she raised her head and said word by word:

"let's break up!"