A land of orcs with more men and fewer women

At this moment, Lilith's eyes were burned by Seth's smile, and she was too guilty to focus.

Lilith whispered, "But... I'm not doing this right. I wasted your time and dragged you out here aimlessly." Lilith smiled bitterly, "Seth, don't make excuses for me. I took your kindness as a habit. But I couldn't support you when you needed it."

As she was talking, a stubbornness suddenly rose in Lilith's heart. She stared at Seth and said, "Seth, as an orc, you will feel helpless, lonely, bored, and angry, right? Seth, you are just like me, an underage orc. And I! Just because you are kind, I self-righteously magnify your kindness and think that you will never be sad or weak. This is not right."

These words seemed to have exhausted all the stubbornness in Lilith's little body.

Seth was stunned.

Lilith no longer dared to look at Seth, and her voice became even lower: "But...but when I think of you being sad and weak, Seth, my heart becomes wrinkled like a ball of cloth."

She sniffed and said, "You see, I'm really bad. I just want you to become powerful so that I can naturally rely on you because of your power."

Seth shook his head and tried to speak.

Lilith spoke first: "So, what about when you are sad, Seth? What about when you are helpless? What about when you are weak?..." Lilith hung her little head and shook it left and right, "Who can Seth rely on? Can I be relied on by you? I can't do it... I'm too young." Lilith's heart was like a ruffled ball of cloth, soaked in water, and heavy.

Then, she looked at Seth again, shook her head slowly, and said softly: "No, being small is just an excuse. The fact is that I am too incompetent."

Lilith knew her own mind clearly and was not a true orc.

To her, her life so far was like being in a pink, soft cloud.

Of course it’s nice to be in the clouds, because they are clouds created for her by everyone with love.

She thought, she had to understand this.

Her young age was just a fig leaf she used to cover up her weak heart after she got used to life in the clouds.

Yes, weak heart.

Her heart is too weak.

If you don’t have power, you can pursue it and you can add it up.

But a weak heart can never control a powerful force.

Because from the very beginning, it rejects, stays away from, or is afraid of pursuing powerful forces.

Yes, Lilith felt extremely ridiculous when she realized all this.

I have obtained everything that I never dared to dream of in my previous life, but in essence I am still the same incompetent self.

Her heart did not become stronger just because she lived a second life and got everything better.

She is still that incompetent, weak-hearted human being.

Only now... this incompetent, weak-hearted human being saw himself in the mirror.

Seth is that mirror.

He let her see herself.

The real me is terrible.

After peeling off the beautiful skin, what appeared in front of the mirror was soft and rotten meat.

A strong feeling of self-loathing enveloped Lilith like a gray fog.

Being weak at heart, I built myself a glass greenhouse and lived in it.

The moment one faces the facts, the glass of the greenhouse will naturally crack.

I can't face myself, and I can't face Seth.

A weak heart has a strong ability to give birth.

It can quickly produce incompetence, selfishness and all the evil aspects of human nature, and help them expand rapidly until they fill up an entire body and are never satisfied.

The negative mentality continued to erode Lilith. The reality that was difficult for her to face and the current situation that she could not handle kept hitting Lilith.

Or... just forget it?

Since it can’t be handled, then...just don’t deal with it?

She raised her head, but she didn't dare to look Seth in the eye. She wanted to speak and say that she was leaving Lila City.

We are leaving anyway...so what...it doesn't matter anymore, right?

Lilith's eyes caught sight of the red crystal earrings on Seth's ears. They were dangling in the air, and the sunlight shone on the crystals, reflecting a dazzling light that made Lilith's eyes sore.

…Can I really not care? Lilith asked herself.

She opened her mouth slightly, then closed it again.

How could it not matter?!

As expected, I am still the weak, selfish, and incompetent person. I can only stand there, wanting, wanting, and wanting. My greedy look is ugly and despicable.

Just like a little mouse standing in the dark, only daring to secretly look up at the ruby ​​on the velvet, but not daring to stretch out its claws.

I am really a coward if I know that it is a beautiful thing but still don’t dare to move forward.

Lilith constantly despised herself in her heart, as if only in this way could she attenuate her sin of weakness.

If weakness is really a sin...

This is a puzzle without an answer.