Fall in love with your enemy

The last time, I complained so much secretly in my heart, but in the end I didn’t have the courage to sit down and talk to the old man calmly. I was also sure that he would not see through the sadness in my heart. What I needed was not for me to take the initiative. I think asking for love is so meaningless. It's just a preference. Even if it's just for that moment, I can give it anytime I want. Moreover, a father's love for his children should be natural, not a person's love. Extra effort beyond instinct.

Since he still needs to fight for it, it means that his heart has already been biased. If I continue to make trouble unreasonably, it will appear that I am not sensible enough, so I have nothing to say.

Liang Sen and Ke Ke were finally reunited. Normally, I didn’t want to disturb him, so before I left, I asked him to stay at home and keep an eye on the situation so that it wouldn’t be too chaotic. As for taking me home, I still chose to walk to the gatehouse. When I got off the bus, I called Gao Xinci.

He didn’t ask anything, but he was a little anxious when he heard that I was standing alone under the gate. He arrived soon after, and I saw him hurriedly getting down from the car, holding a soft sportswear in his hand. Jacket, he came over and put it on me.

I was complaining and feeling distressed, but when I saw the bullied expression on my face, I couldn't say anything. I just hugged me, then gently told me to get in the car and fasten my seat belt.

Speechless all the way.

I was still looking at him quietly in the rearview mirror. I knew he could definitely see the sadness in my eyes. I always wanted him to say something to me, even if it was just some useless and perfunctory comfort, but what did he do? He didn't say anything, he didn't even look back at me.

I don’t know if it’s my illusion or something else, but I always feel that my relationship with Gao Xinci has returned to its original state, as if everything that happened this afternoon was just a dream. In this way, our relationship is still distant, sometimes far and sometimes close. Really fed up.

Finally, when we stopped at a red light, I asked what was deep in my heart. I turned sideways and said, "Gao Xinci, do you still love me?"

He was stunned. It was too blurry under the neon lights in the middle of the night. Or maybe I no longer have the ability to distinguish people's expressions. I didn't react or didn't want to say. If you don't love me, the blunt knife has already been inserted deeply. It hit my heart and made me completely breathless.

I was wrong, maybe I was wrong from the beginning, I should have known that rebirth is not about changing my life, and I will all reach the same ending in the end, so why should I bother thinking about changing anything! I clearly saw with my own eyes that even though I tried my best, everything still went in the original direction! Lao Fu's heart will still gradually turn to Chengcheng's side, and Gao Xinci and I will still reach the point where we only have responsibility! But what I want is never responsibility!

In this world, I can use various methods, whether it's money or feelings, to get more responsibilities. I don't want my family and marriage to become responsibilities in the end. I just want someone to prefer me unconditionally, but that's it. Never get...

I had known this would end a long time ago, how could I live my life like this! I might as well smash it all to pieces!

"Stop." I suppressed all my emotions and whispered in a low voice. Seeing that Gao Xinci didn't respond, I finally broke down, unbuckled my seat belt and yelled: "Stop!"

Gao Xinci just came to his senses. Because he was still on the road, he couldn't really stop. Seeing that I had already started to make a fuss and was about to reach out to pull the car door, he could only hold on with one hand first. The steering wheel grabbed my wrist with one hand. Fortunately, he stopped the car on a deserted roadside before I completely lost my mind. This road always had few people.

I kept my remaining sanity and waited until the car stopped. I immediately opened the door and walked out, striding in the opposite direction. I didn't want to go home, and I didn't want to follow him. I didn't know where I was going. But all I know is that I want to leave this kind of life. I can no longer just watch everything in me go back to the way it was in my previous life. I really can't bear it anymore.

Unfortunately, I was pulled back after only two steps. Gao Xinci hurriedly caught up and held my hand. I tried desperately to get rid of him, but my strength was really inferior compared to him.

"let me go!"

"What's wrong with you Shishi? If you have anything, you can tell me directly. Why are you suddenly making such a fuss!"

"Who made a fuss? I made a fuss! You think I want to be like this because you forced me! I've had enough of Gao Xinci, divorce! I should have known that you and I can't get along at all!"

I forcefully pulled my hands out of Gao Xinci's hands. The moment they were separated, they immediately turned red, and gradually started to show a trace of purple.

Gao Xinci was completely confused when he heard this. The moment I saw his expression like this, I hated that the first thing I thought of was not anger or sadness but wanting to laugh. Only then did I realize that he couldn't understand my emotions at all. I've been feeling aggrieved for a year, but now I know that he didn't care at all, and suddenly I felt like, does he think life like this is pretty good? Because I felt guilty, I never had a single argument or quarrel with him since then, and always gave up.

What about him? You just need to choose to accept it or not. If you accept it, you can go back to the time when you can be hot and cold. If you don't accept it, I will coax him for a few more days.

I wanted to leave again, but this time Gao Xinci seemed to be completely awake and hugged me tightly from behind. I couldn't even take a step out.

"Let me go... let go!"

I struggled hard, but I couldn't get away at all. He forced me to turn back. With a little effort, he raised one of my hands above my head and protected me with the other hand on the back of my head. He forced me back behind me. He was clinging to the tree, and before I had time to open my eyes, he was already close to me. When his warm lips covered the corner of my mouth and I wanted to open it, I pressed my tongue against it and spit it out, but he didn't give up. , I was so angry that I opened my mouth and bit it.

The bloody mist dispersed in his mouth, and I couldn't tell whether it was mine or his. I only felt incomparable pain from body to heart. He was still unwilling to leave. It seemed that the sweet blood drops were mixed with the bitterness of tears. Together they became a delicious dish, and little by little, I gradually softened. There was something blocked in my throat that wanted to come out, closely followed by bursts of heartache.

When Gao Xinci saw that I had no strength to resist, he gradually let go of my hand. Even my final self-esteem was lost. It turned out that I had no ability to resist him, either in terms of natural strength or status. I finally understood. Why can he get everything he wants to love? Because I was just his prey from the beginning. The principle of "the weak and the strong" also exists in human society. Because he is strong enough, no matter how many grievances I have suffered and how much resentment I have hidden. , in the end, as long as I resist him, everyone will stand up and accuse me of being ungrateful. We have never been on a parallel line from the beginning, and even if I don't care about public opinion, he himself is enough to pounce on me and capture me. Like today, or without that glass of wine at the dinner party eight years ago.

I haven't even found out for eight years whether he was forced by the drug in the wine glass or whether he simply wanted to keep me by his side. I just spent seven years with him in a daze. Now I am the first to be reborn. All I could think of was falling into his arms. I even forgot that the reason we were together in the first place was not because of love.

I'm really going crazy.

He didn't care much when his hands were loosened and pressed against his chest. He was just a little dissatisfied, so he stretched out his hands to tightly hold my waist and back. His lips loosened and I finally looked away. , he pressed against my ear again, and when the tickling sensation spread all over my body, I even bent my knees, and I had to rely on him to hold me like that just to stand still. He was still not satisfied, so he pulled me away. The hand covering my mouth suddenly bit my earlobe, and he would not stop until he heard me moaning in pain.

When he finally let me go, I was already squatting down on the ground. My hair was wet with sweat and stuck to my forehead. My ankle accidentally hit the root of a tree, and I felt a burning pain. It was red and swollen, and I leaned gently on the tree trunk and sobbed uncontrollably.

Gao Xinci probably regained some of his senses. He squatted down beside me and stayed quietly for a while, feeling a little at a loss. After two or three minutes of fighting, he stretched out his hand to force me to sit down and kissed my forehead. , went back to the car, took some medicated oil, lifted my injured ankle and rubbed it.

"I love you." Gao Xinci took a moment to say it word by word.

"It's late!" I stuffed it back angrily. If he hadn't said this, I might not have been able to spend the night with him peacefully even though my body hurt, but he insisted on giving a late answer. Then I couldn't calm down anymore. I stood up with difficulty holding on to the tree and was about to leave. As I was about to leave, I said, "I don't love you anymore. I've had enough of your cold violence. I've had enough of you being able to ravage me anytime, anywhere." Looks like this! I can tell you right now that if we insist on insisting on the final outcome, it is nothing more than torturing each other until I die!"

"Then you give me a reason to break up! Where did I go wrong!" Gao Xinci quickly came up and grabbed my shoulders.

So I took this opportunity to let go of my last resentment, and with tears falling down my eyes, I looked sleepy and swollen at the man I had loved for eight years: "Because you have never loved me. ! You just want to possess me! You just want to have a comparison by your side who is weaker than you and more pitiful than you, so that you can give yourself a reason to live! We were not together because of love in the first place, right! It’s always They force me to do something I don’t like to do, and they always say they’ll accommodate me, but in fact they don’t listen to my pleas when I get angry...it hurts me every time..."

Gao Xinci was stunned, raised his head and glanced at him timidly. Suddenly I didn't understand him even more. I didn't know that I was obviously talking about a very serious topic. Why was he blushing? But he soon caught a more important point. His smile disappeared instantly and he looked back at me in surprise.

"If we didn't get together because of love at the beginning, then why? Were you chasing me?"

I was suddenly speechless. If I talk about this life, it was indeed me who expressed my feelings to him first, just because I didn’t get a sure idea before I was reborn. When I was woken up by him, I instinctively shouted "Husband" , which aroused his unreasonable attitude of coming directly to propose marriage, but you can’t blame me! How did I know I would be born again? How did I know that my "jackal, tiger, and leopard"-like husband would turn into an innocent high school student when he woke up? Then let’s talk about the last life, I had no intention of marrying him, and the engagement was cancelled. It was clear that he forced me, but now God has put me in a wrong position.

"Then if you don't love me, why do you want to be with me?"

"Yes, I love you, but I also hate you. As for the reason, I thought about it and found that it's not that I can't explain it to you. I always hope that what happened in the past can be regarded as a dream. If you It's not like in the dream. Life can go on as usual, but what about you? Gao Xinci, it's been a year since Wang Yi's incident and you've been so aloof. That incident was my fault, but didn't you take revenge? Are you coming back? Do you feel it’s not enough if you don’t succeed? I’ve been thinking about it for a year, if I hadn’t suddenly gotten sick at that time, would you really have..."

I suddenly choked and couldn't speak anymore, but it was enough to silence Gao Xinci. His denim jacket hung on the ground and was stained with dust, just like the look on his face was gray.

"Have you considered me before you took action? Will possessing me give you any sense of accomplishment? I have really thought about it for many, many years, why do you still insist on liking me when I seem to be useless and even like to get into trouble and fool around? , I seem to suddenly understand today." I choked and took a deep breath before saying: "Because in your eyes, I am too easily satisfied, and my guilt and love are really too cheap, not just you, but anyone without Those who have violated my bottom line, as long as I think I still need to get along with them, my status will be humble from beginning to end. Even if you have done something wrong that makes me sad and hysterical, as long as you can show a good face later. , I will pounce on you without hesitation, give me a slap in the face! Even if you can maintain a responsible love for me, I will be satisfied, I will feel that I can't live without you, rely on you, and leave you. I can't survive, but what about you? You really don't think so, because it's always me who is panicked and scared... It's always been..."

I couldn't bear it anymore, so I huddled up on my knees and covered my face and cried. But even at this point, I didn't dare to cry too loud, for fear that someone would suddenly come out and laugh at me, while Gao Xinci remained silent. After a long time, he finally held me in his arms when I was about to collapse.

In fact, I know that the two lives are the same. After Brother Shu left, I seemed to have jumped across classes and returned to the Fu family. My biggest emotion was helplessness. I was confused because I couldn't find someone who could give me bottomless support like my brother. I have tried so many times to find the person I like, but in the end, Lao Fu, Aunt Lin, and Du Du all gave me a fatal blow. I really don’t know what to do.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Gao Xinci's choked apology came from above his head. He put one hand on the back of my neck and held my hand with the other. I could gradually feel the accelerating ups and downs on his back, each time. Each word sounded heavier than the previous one, and he hugged me very tightly: "I'm sorry for Shishi, I love you. I didn't know you had been in this state of mind this year. In fact, I don't care about Wang Yi for a long time." Yeah, I never wanted to treat you coldly, I just don’t know how to face you, I don’t understand why I’m not willing to share everything with you, I’m afraid you won’t believe that I don’t care about me... No Only when you love me do I regress. I'm sorry, I don't know, but I regressed when you wanted to rely on me..."

"I don't tell you many things because they are my Fu family's housework. I don't want you to get involved because I want to protect you. Didn't you never want me to get involved in the Gao family's affairs? Why did you get involved in the same way? I can’t figure it out there!”

After listening to Gao Xinci's explanation, I raised my head suddenly. The most unbelievable thing was that this was the reason that kept us apart this year. I felt guilty and dared not approach him, and he felt ashamed of himself. He didn't dare to come close to me. We both were suspicious of each other as if we didn't open our mouths. We spent a year in silence like this?

"You are stupid! When did I say I don't love you! Why didn't you tell me that you have always had this idea in your heart? Can't we just talk about it? It would be better for you. Not only did you not say it, but you also You always avoid me! Then I don’t love you when you are passionate and you are cold, do you think I can’t let you go? Have you never thought about it? "

Unexpectedly, the first thing Gao Xinci did after hearing what I said was not to explain or feel sad about it, but to poke my pain with a very precise question. He stretched out his hand to wipe his tears and asked with aggrieved mouth. : "Then you've always been so sad, why have you never told me?"

"You..." I was speechless for a moment, but I was stunned for a long time and couldn't come up with a rebuttal. At the end of the day, the fallacy kept popping up in my mind:

We really deserve to be husband and wife. It’s not like we don’t live in the same house, and we don’t talk too much!

I even forgot about my grievances, and suddenly I was full of anger and hatred. I raised my fist and hit his back hard: "Gao Xinci! You are sick! You are the one who takes the initiative to come here every time." You let me take the initiative in this matter, how do I know what you think! I thought you didn't love me anymore and wanted to break up... I've always been particularly afraid that you didn't mention that the reason for the breakup was because of the marriage between our two families..."

"You said you never said you didn't love me, so I never said I wanted to break up. It's just a misunderstanding, so why are you treating me differently..."

I really want to take a camera and record Gao Xinci's aggrieved look right away. It's not because I think it's cute, but because it's such an unreasonable look. I have to print it out and hang it on the wall. If I'm stubborn in the future, I'll take it out to settle old scores. ! There is no one like him!

I cried and cried. After I figured this out, I wasn’t angry anymore. It made me laugh out of anger.

"You're making excuses with your words!" I punched him in the chest, but it seemed that it was just this that made Gao Xinci's possessiveness rise again. He roughly understood what I meant, and he rushed forward to hug me tightly again.

"Don't mention the breakup. No matter what happens, don't mention the breakup again, okay..." Gao Xinci kept saying in my ears.

I have nothing else to say, I can only nod. So what if I am an easily satisfied person? Who told him to take advantage of me? I just love him and I can’t live without him. Why can’t he be called Do you prefer me? I also hugged him back tightly.

"Then I will give you one last chance. If you bully me again, I will really never let you go..." I gritted my teeth and said cruelly, with tears streaming from the corners of my eyes.

"No, never again." Gao Xinci affirmed.

Just like that, I fell into the land of gentleness. I thought that the joy of getting back together would last like this, and at least it would allow me to spend the night easily. But who would have thought, my unlucky physique...

Gao Xinci was crying and suddenly remembered the key point in what I just said, and asked hurriedly: "Oh, by the way, Shishi, why did you just say that our separation was a divorce? We are not married yet."

Me: I sat up in shock while dying of illness!

Vocal! How do I explain this? Could it be that to tell the truth, I was married to him in my previous life? Do you speak smoothly now that you're used to it?

Hmm... I'm still saying that, husband, have you done any research on time reversal? Do you believe it...