My 26-year-old female tenant: Gufan on the Island

The cold wind began to blow again, making spring not like spring, and making the fallen leaves not like fallen leaves. It was like overwhelming loneliness, encroaching on every corner of the moat; I could only place my hope in the flowing river, which kept flowing, but In the end, it couldn't take away the despair in my heart, but it gave me a more piercing feeling. Finally, it froze me together with the cold wind...

At this point, I no longer have any expectations about getting back together, and secretly told myself: If I still have a chance to see Jian Wei in my lifetime, I must show her that I am living a good life, even if I am lying to myself. Or lie to her, I have to prove that I am living a good life.

I finally felt a trace of hatred for her in my heart, for her ruthlessness, for her neglect, for her betrayal...

No, it's not a betrayal, it's because the fate has ended, the feelings have faded, and I gradually wake up in the torrent of the world, but it's just that she woke up in front of me.

……

Hatred made people even more miserable, so I bought another bottle of strong liquor and sat alone by the moat, trying to paralyze myself again. Perhaps, I was really paralyzed, and I dared to choose this moment to give up to the old-fashioned man. Dad made a phone call.

Not only did I dare to call him, I also dared to question him: "Daddy, have you really told my fortune?"

"Ah."

I laughed: "You guys don't even know if you meet a liar... They say that my career and love are all in Suzhou... Suzhou doesn't even exist... To tell you the truth, here there are only cold human relations and sophistication, which is so high that it makes people gasp." A stagnant office building, and a bunch of walking zombies hanging like sausages on buses...I am one of them..."

"Are you finished?"

"No, wait for me to light a cigarette, I have something else to say..."

"Without further ado."

"Yes, there is a generation gap between the two of us... I don't expect you to empathize with me. I just want to tell you that in the future, you and my mother will have less faith in those charlatans... After listening to his words, give me your confidence I drew a big pie, but I didn’t care how much emotion I wasted behind it..."

"Like a man."

I felt an indescribable discomfort that made my fingers tremble, but the remaining trace of clarity allowed me to stabilize my mood. Then I smiled and said: "We have already formed a communication, can you speak more than Four words? ...I know you only pick out useful things to say, but every time there are only four words, it seems that I am very talkative..."

The boss finally fell silent and replied after a long time: "Drink less."

"This...isn't this still four words?"

Boss sighed...

"It's over, I don't even want to say a word!"

The boss was silent... Then, I heard my mother scolding me on the phone like pouring beans. They were silent and moved, and it seemed that I was torn into two people. One had no love in life, and the other didn't know what to do. …

Finally, Boss Ban spoke: "Why are you panicking? Just wait."

This time, it finally exceeded four words, but I was speechless. In fact, I didn't panic, but I didn't know how to wait any longer, and who to wait for?

If Jane Wei was my belief once, at this moment, this belief has completely collapsed.

……

In my silence, my mother took up the topic and continued: "Zhaoyang, if you think this is inaccurate, tomorrow my mother will find a fortune teller for you and do the calculation..." After that, she turned around again He asked the boss: "Lao Zhao, did I remember my son's birth date incorrectly?... This fortune teller is well-known in our area. Others say that he can tell accurately... I can't do it either. Because my son has poured out some bitter words, let’s question the authority!”

This time it’s me sighing…

I wanted to say something more, but the other party had already hung up the phone. It was probably my dad who hung up the phone. I know him, and he must have felt that such a conversation was neither meaningful nor nutritious.

……

In the cold wind that kept blowing, I raised my head again and drank the bottle of strong wine in my hand. Then my consciousness began to blur. There was a high probability that I would pass out drunk by the moat...

……

For me, this was a night of total loss of face. I was really drunk by the moat; when I woke up, I was on a bench in the lobby of a nearby police station...

Before I fully woke up, the police gave me a hard lesson, saying that I was irresponsible to myself. If some kind-hearted person hadn't called the police by the wayside, I might have frozen to death by the moat.

I only listened to half of it, so I still looked at him with a numb expression. After a while, I said, "Brother, do you have any cigarettes? Here's one."

The policeman looked at me speechlessly, but finally handed me a cigarette.

I borrowed a lighter from him again. After lighting it, I narrowed my eyes and took a puff. The policeman also lit a cigarette. After hesitating for a while, he asked, "Did something happen?"

"Can you please not talk about it for now? I suddenly thought of something."

He turned to look at me and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"If you have any difficulty, contact the police..."

"Um?!"

The policeman looked at me with a little more vigilance; I took another heavy drag on my cigarette and said: "Brother... you said that this city in Suzhou is so big and boundless... There are women on the bus, in the office buildings There are women, there are women in gyms, coffee shops, and supermarkets... Since there are women everywhere, why can't I find one who is sincere to me? ...Don't say sincere, just be nice to me... Don't make me look like a piece of trash being thrown away in the end, and I don't even bother to look back..."

The policeman smacked his lips and replied after a while: "This is not an easy thing to talk about! Pursuing a uniqueness within universality is itself a very dangerous and difficult behavior... Let me put it this way, do you understand? ?”

"Uh... I kind of understand, but not entirely!" After a short pause, I said again: "Brother, you said that in your profession, you have a natural sense of justice. What kind of women do you come into contact with? Woolen cloth?"

"I have dealt with many women..."

"Are they also very just and principled? ...At least they are not fickle."

The policeman thought he had understood, and said with a half-smile: "No wonder you said you have difficulty finding the police... It turns out that you are waiting here... If there is such a woman, do you want me to introduce it to you?... "

"Uh...Brother, it's not impossible...Drinking is indeed a depraved behavior for me. If there is such a woman who can turn into a beam of light and light me up, I may not be able to get drunk. It’s such a ridiculous thing to die by the moat.”

"you sure?"

"This is certain."

The policeman put out the cigarette in his hand, then curled his lips and said with a smile: "Half of the women I know are in the detention center, and half have already been in jail... Some are engaged in fraud, some have made mistakes, some have stolen, and some have been trafficked. Population, murder and arson... Which type do you want to know?"

I was originally laughing with him, and then my expression became stiff. After a while, I put out the cigarette in my hand and replied: "Brother, you are really the most boring gay I have ever seen... I don't want to be with you." Let’s talk…can I leave now?”

"Anytime, please."

I carried the second-hand guitar I bought on the road with Le Yao and really walked out. At this moment, I just felt more lost because I had been trying to imagine women as beautiful, but here I got them. A devastated answer.

"Zhaoyang..."

I turned around and it was the policeman calling me.

"Your ID card and wallet are still here..."

I took it from his hand; this time, he finally said to me seriously: "How can there be so much light in this world... You should learn to be your own light first... and you will shine as the light of others. After all, only your own light can illuminate your heart...right?"