My 26-year-old female tenant: Gufan on the Island

There is only one person in the world who knows that I will put the key under the floor mat; but today is the first day of the Lunar New Year, and there is no possibility of him coming to Suzhou, so I feel a little more afraid of the movements in the house. , and even wanted to call the police first...

Just when I took out my phone from my pocket, the door suddenly opened. My boss and I looked at each other. My jaw dropped, but he was as calm and calm as ever...

"Daddy... slap me quickly."

"You are getting more and more outrageous. Why should I hit you?"

"Today is the first day of the Lunar New Year...I feel like I'm dreaming."

"I know it's the first day of the new year."

"How did you get here?"

"drive."

"I mean...why did you come to Suzhou on New Year's Day?"

"Aren't you in Suzhou?"

I was silent for a long time, but the boss didn't seem to sense my mood. He took out fifty yuan from his wallet without any trouble, handed it to my hand, and said: "You just happened to be back, go down and buy some." A bottle of soy sauce."

"It's so late, why are you buying soy sauce?"

"Your third uncle's local pig was killed and he gave me some pork belly. I brought it... I'll make it into braised pork for you. You put it in the refrigerator. The more you cook it, the better it tastes."

"Hey, local pork... I haven't eaten it for a long time... I'm going to buy soy sauce..." After saying that, I turned around, then stopped, looked at the fifty yuan in my hand, and smiled awkwardly: "It's just to buy a bottle of soy sauce. What do I need your money for?"

Only then did the boss feel a little more emotional. He also looked a little embarrassed and replied: "You have grown up!"

……

The local pork in the pot was simmered over low heat; Ban dad and I sat face to face at the dining table, drinking the rice wine he brought from his hometown. The rice wine was bottled in a clean Coke bottle, but it gave me a very strong feeling. There is a sense of intimacy, and I feel that this is the taste of home and Ban Dye’s craftsmanship; yes, he really knows how to make rice wine.

Ban Daddy seems boring because he talks little, but because of his strong hands-on ability, he becomes like a magician, who can always add a little different color to the boring life; therefore, my mother never blames him for the trivial daily necessities of food, rice, oil and salt. , I have been living in harmony like this, and I have benefited from it... Therefore, even though life is a mess, I still retain a little bit of a sunny mood... I once told Robben that even if I live such a gloomy life, I will not Get depression. Robben was very envious of this, and then told me in despair: He can't do it...

He has indeed been depressed for a long time and even took antidepressant drugs, but he has only gotten better recently.

……

After we each had a drink, I said to my boss sternly: "Daddy, you traveled five to six hundred kilometers from Xuzhou to Suzhou on the first day of the new year. Is there anything big going on?...I just asked you, what are you doing? I don’t want to be honest either…I feel quite unsure.”

The boss looked at me, and after being silent for a while, he replied: "In previous years, if you didn't go back to celebrate the New Year, forget it. At least I know there is someone with you... This year, you are left alone in Suzhou, and your mother and I are not worried... People will inevitably be lonely in this life...but during the holidays, we still have to find ways to be lively...otherwise, we will easily get the root of the disease in our hearts."

I have mixed feelings in my heart. Although my boss never said Jian Wei's name from beginning to end, what he talked about was my situation and mood after breaking up with Jian Wei.

Seeing that I was silent, the boss said again: "If your second aunt hadn't come back from Tianjin once in a while, your mother would have come with us."

I forced a smile and said, "It's okay, Boss... I have someone to accompany me. I just finished hot pot with two friends in the evening. At this moment, I'm still smelling of hot pot!"

"If you don't go back to where you should be during the New Year... at best, you can just hug each other to keep warm."

Ban Daddy seems dull, but underneath his dullness there is a keenness of insight into everything. He not only has insight into me, but also into Robben and Le Yao; we are indeed three unhappy people living in Suzhou. No direction, no future...

I drank all the rice wine in the cup and finally said: "Xuzhou is indeed the place I should go back to... I want to go back to Xuzhou..."

This is an important decision. I thought the boss would say something, but he just drank alone and didn't express his opinion at all.

"Dad...I said I want to go back to Xuzhou."

At this time, Boss Ban said: "If you are really so determined, you won't care what I think... Zhaoyang, I don't like preaching to you. Since you were young, I have only taught you one truth, that is, people must be determined. Just follow your heart...So, you have to ask yourself, if you can really convince yourself, then just go for it."

"I……"

The words came to my lips, but I swallowed them back. I couldn't convince myself, so I was eager to get my boss's approval; as long as he expressed his position and said that he and my mother both wanted me to go back, maybe I would be willing to do so.

Yes, until now, I still have a little fantasy, thinking that one day, Jane Wei may come back to me; when I think of how firmly we once loved each other, I can't accept the fact that we have broken up.

I was in pain and conflicted. On the one hand, I couldn't forget it completely, but on the other hand, I didn't want to disturb her in the name of love. I am a person who lives according to my heart, but both of them are my thoughts, so I don’t know how to choose. I am left with endless confusion, which troubles me endlessly.

The boss had already finished the wine in the glass, and he said to me in a tone that showed no emotion: "This is your birth year... Your mother went to tell your fortune... right? I believe it." If you don’t believe me, just take it as a reference... The fortune teller said that it is not suitable for you to move around now... Your career and love are both in the south of Xuzhou..."

I laughed: "This... this is too general... Then I want to stay in Suzhou all the time. Then my career and relationship are all here... It's like saying that the weather is either sunny or sunny. It's cloudy and rainy... When it comes to gender, it's either a man or a woman..."

The boss gave me a cold look, and I quickly stopped laughing; then he said: "What I'm talking about here is the career and relationship that can help you achieve success. Don't be so playful. You should be a little bit in awe of this kind of thing. heart of."

"Cultivation into the righteous state?" I stopped smiling and said to myself, and then whispered to my boss: "If it weren't for Jian Wei, I wouldn't have the words "cultivation into the righteous state" in my life."

"Let the past go, people should look forward and move forward."

I lowered my head and didn't want to talk anymore; even though I knew that Boss was right, I couldn't ignite any desire to move forward in my heart. My heart was already dead, and it died in Jian Wei's hands. This makes me unable to start a new relationship.

So, when I spoke again, I had already changed the subject. I said to my boss: "I don't have to go back to Xuzhou, but I don't want to do this job now... I can't find the rhythm of work, and I have to work hard every day." I feel so confused that after a long time, even if others don't tell me, I feel like an alien... But don't worry, I won't let myself be idle even if I give up this job... My friend took over some funeral work... ...I just followed him and knocked..."

The reason why I didn't hide this taboo thing was because I wanted my boss to feel unreliable and give me a signal that I could go back. However, he unexpectedly said to me: "Do whatever you want... you can make a living." Just do it yourself..."

After saying that, he got up and went to the kitchen, saying that the braised pork was about to collect its juice.

I stared at his back blankly, and then looked at the whole of Suzhou through the kitchen window that had not been cleaned of oil fumes for a long time...

Can this city, which has nothing new in my heart, really still be able to carry everything I have?

I suddenly became very pessimistic and felt that if I never left, one day I would die in this old house with only me...

Loneliness kills!