One big and one small are practicing love

Back in Liu Xiaochen's room, Zuo Kunmin walked straight to the desk. Looking at the small bookshelf on the table, several books and notebooks were placed side by side.

I thought, since my original intention was to know more about her, she wouldn't blame him for looking through it. Moreover, since she placed the book in such an obvious place, there should be nothing secret about it.

Thinking about it, Zuo Kunmin took out one of the notebooks, with a lemon yellow soft-cover cover, A4-sized paper, and one yuan coin thick. He lowered his head and looked through it. There were yellowish blank pages inside, which were reading notes.

The first page is Schopenhauer's notes on "The World as Will and Representation".

Although I will never let go of my shortcomings and weaknesses, which are inevitably connected with my nature, just like everyone's shortcomings and weaknesses are inevitably connected with everyone's nature, but I will not use despicable accommodation. to add to these shortcomings.

Zuo Kunmin read a few sentences casually, then turned back and forth. This book contained more than forty pages of excerpts from readings.

And Nietzsche's "The Birth of Tragedy."

Understand and then be beautiful.

People's eager pursuit of earthly happiness has corrupted the entire society down to the lowest level, and the society is in constant panic due to boiling desires.

Tagore's poems.

It's raining for her, but my heart is holding an umbrella for her. This is love.

Once, I dreamed that everyone was a stranger. I woke up and realized that we were in love with each other. One day, I dreamed that we were in love with each other. When I woke up, I realized that we were already strangers.

Classic lines from the movie "Return to Youth". Jungian Psychology. Yan Geling's novel. Mu Xin's prose, etc.

There is a lot of content, so I didn’t read it all in detail, I just flipped through it and looked at it casually. Looking at it, Zuo Kunmin was surprised. This book was launched in May this year, and there are now more than a dozen pages left. In just this half year, she has read so many books. Then I thought of the certificates and award-winning experiences on her resume.

I sighed again, this child is really diligent, studious, and motivated. She is making progress at an unimaginable speed.

Putting down this notebook, I picked up the burgundy notebook again. Except for the cover color, size, and paper, it is the same as the lemon yellow book.

As soon as I opened it, I saw the date, week, and weather written on the first line. Zuo Kunmin hesitated for a moment and closed the book. Turn off the desk lamp, take the burgundy diary, and leave the desk.

It was late at night and I was a little sleepy. Zuo Kunmin changed clothes, took a shower, and drank coffee. After she woke up and became more comfortable, Zuo Kunmin lay on the head of her bed, turned on the floor lamp, and picked up a burgundy notebook to read.

First, I turned to the last diary entry and looked at the date. It was written on the night they were angry. I wrote five pages densely, and each page was wrinkled. I saw that they were tears, and I felt sad. Sigh softly and look carefully.

He knocked on the door but didn't come in. Every time he does this, he will first leave me alone when he is angry. When I calm down and he has time, he will say a few words of comfort. Although I already knew what he did, I still feel the same sadness every time.

Whether he is really busy with work or using work as an excuse. I know that he doesn't want to spend time and energy on my emotions. I have to deal with my emotions and face tomorrow well.

There are still many things that I need to do at Xinxin. The children's school transfer procedures also have to be completed one by one. Baggage for home. I need to sort these things out one by one.

……

I thought that what she wrote in tears was to vent her emotions. It turns out that she is so clear-headed and rational.

List clearly and realistically what needs to be done. Also, she was so aware of his selfishness that every time he was angry, he could 'coax' her with a few words. It turned out that before coaxing her, she had already forgiven him through a lot of self-comfort.

Look at the penultimate diary entry, three pages.

Liu Xiaochen wrote about chatting in a cafe with Zhang Chengjiu, Sun Xinxin, and Gu Liya. Said, I envy their confusion and hesitation, because that requires qualifications. You must have the confidence of your parents to support you, and you must have the freedom to choose from multiple options. And she has only one determined path - to work and make money.

I thought that I could finally work, be able to take responsibility for myself, and no longer have to rely on Teacher Zuo.

But tonight, Teacher Zuo suddenly told me that I would go to England with him. Although it can open your eyes and learn more different things, it can also take care of the lives of the children and Teacher Zuo. But this means that I still have to rely on Teacher Zuo and cannot create self-worth.

well! Maybe I was too anxious to be independent, and suddenly learned that I couldn't work, which made me a little uneasy and anxious.

Over the years, I have been actively working hard to study, read, and live. I want to grab something solid and build strong bones for myself. In this way, support yourself first, and then try your best to give Teacher Zuo something in return.

I have received so much favor from Teacher Zuo, I owe him so much, and I love him very much. Seeing how hard he worked, I always wanted to help him share some of his burdens. But I am too weak and can only take care of the children.

I hope that one day, the children will grow up and no longer need me. I still have other energy and can stand by his side and bear the burden with him. Not just relying on him and looking up to him like now.

well! It is better to accept the current situation, rely on Teacher Zuo for a while, continue to accumulate strength, and hope to have greater responsibility in the future.

……

After reading these two diaries, Zuo Kunmin closed the book. He took out his cell phone and sent a message to Liu Xiaochen.

After sending the message, I stopped reading her diary, turned off the light, and lay down. I was deeply touched in my heart and couldn't help but think.

She is hardworking, motivated, independent, sober, and repressed. In addition to the ability of nature to bear, it is also because there has never been a true sense of security. Even if he provides her with abundant material resources, she still knows clearly that she cannot rely on him and must be independent.

After understanding Liu Xiaochen's true thoughts and status. Zuo Kunmin made it clearer that their emotions were unhealthy, unbalanced, and flawed. As Li Zhiming said, it is easy to cause problems if you continue.

He must think carefully and adjust his behavior. To the children, to Liu Xiaochen.

When the alarm rang in the morning, Zuo Kunmin turned off the alarm, turned over to the south as a habit, and opened his eyes to see the light coming through the gap in the curtains. When I saw the blue and white checkered linen curtains, I suddenly woke up. This is Liu Xiaochen's room.

Is she home? Are you still angry?

Thinking about it, Zuo Kunmin picked up his phone and looked at it. There are no text messages or phone calls from her. Even if I call her, her phone is still turned off.

Get up, shower, exercise, catch up on emails. After finishing all this work, it was already 7 o'clock. Zuo Kunmin came to Li Zhiming's house to pick up Zuo Yan and Zuo Xu.

"Kunmin, you're here just in time. Auntie has just made breakfast. Let's sit down and eat together." Wen Xiaorou applied eye patches and gently rubbed her fingers under her eyelids while talking.

At this time, the three children happened to come down from upstairs. Zuo Kunmin waved to them, motioned for them to come over, and said: "I will take the three of them to my house. Tell me, what should the children do this morning? I will accompany them." "

Wen Xiaorou opened her eyes and said in surprise: "The sun really rises from the west. You take care of your children? Don't work?"

"I didn't work this morning, and Zhiming scolded me last night, saying I wouldn't give him time to spend with you. I'll take the children away now, and give Zhiming half a day off, so that you two can have a good time together."

Wen Xiaorou listened with a smile. When she heard 'half a day', she frowned again and said, "It's only half a day. Did he sleep at your house last night?"

"Well! I'm not awake yet." Zuo Kunmin nodded and said with a smile: "Just be satisfied. I, a man with a lot of things to do and a net worth of tens of billions, will help you take care of your children for half a day. Calculate the time cost. "

"Hmph!" Wen Xiaorou rolled her eyes at Zuo Kunmin and snorted coldly: "You men, think that you can earn a lot of money and contribute a little to the family, so we should be grateful. In your hearts, making money is what is truly recognized. Value, raising children is low value or worthless.”

Although it was a joke, Zuo Kunmin's heart skipped a beat when he heard it. At this time, the three children had come to the side with chirping.

"I took the children over there. I'll tell Zhiming to get up and come over to accompany you." After saying that, Zuo Kunmin held Zuo Yan and Zuo Xu, lowered his head and smiled at Li Muzi and said, "Let's go to our house. Uncle Zuo this morning Accompany you."

"Wait." Wen Xiaorou hurriedly said to Muzi first: "Go and get your schoolbag." Then, she turned around and walked quickly to the coffee table in the living room, and soon came over with a white canvas bag.

"No!" Wen Xiaorou handed the thing in her hand to Zuo Kunmin and said, "This is what Xiaoxiao left for me when he left. There is a list in it of what the children have to do today, two notebooks, one One notebook is for taking notes from the morning painting class, and the other is for taking notes from the afternoon piano class.”

Zuo Kunmin accepted it, nodded and said: "I understand. What about Muzi? Is there anything I need to bring?"

Wen Xiaorou said easily: "No need. Zhiming and I have no requirements for Muzi. We just need to learn some art to cultivate her sentiments. I never take notes or plans for Muzi. She can learn whatever she wants." As he spoke, Li Muzi Already carrying a schoolbag.

Zuo Kunmin returned home with his three children and had breakfast together. The aunt prepares water cups, fruits, food, etc. for the children to take when they go out, and the children go upstairs to get their schoolbags. Zuo Kunmin sat on the sofa waiting for them, looking at Liu Xiaochen's list for today.

Just as he was watching, his cell phone rang.

Zuo Kunmin quickly grabbed it and saw it was a text message from Liu Xiaochen reporting that he was safe. He called immediately.

Talk to her tenderly, care about her eating and dressing, tell her what she is doing, ask her what she wants to do... Hearing Liu Xiaochen's calm tone, I thought, I wonder how she comforted herself before she returned to this state. .

Hearing her say that she had reached her family's gravesite made her feel guilty again.

After hanging up the phone, the children packed up and took them out for a painting class.