Song Yu Bai Li's Late Thoughts

Chapter 481: Shen Qingchen (Inner Monologue)

Iceland (63°-66.5°N)

In the past three years, this is the eighteenth and final stop of Shen Qingchen's journey around the world.

Why the number 18? When I was 18, I met the girl who made me fall in love with her at first sight.

Early March is the best month to see the Northern Lights, and the dancing auroras may appear in the sky at any time.

Shen Qingchen was very lucky. On the second day of his self-driving tour to Iceland, after seeing the baby seals on the glacier, the rainbow under the waterfall, the abandoned plane wreckage, and the sunrise on the black sand beach, he saw the aurora borealis all over the sky.

It is because we have seen the longest night that we know how to cherish the light.

After forty-eight hours of chasing the light, I saw that the entire sky was blue-green, with light yellow and light purple in shades that were extremely soft and beautiful, like elves jumping in the sky.

Shen Qingchen will never forget that scene, and will even miss it for the rest of his life.

He was like a light chaser at the end of the world, and also like he was having a big dream at the end of the world.

The stars travel through billions of light years to meet the aurora here, just like he and she meet each other after traveling thousands of miles, but like two straight parallel lines that can never intersect.

Shen Qingchen used the camera he carried with him to record the shocking scene before him and checked into the Blue Lagoon Hotel that night.

In his dream, he returned to his eighteen-year-old self.

The university dormitory brings together four high-spirited teenagers with completely different personalities.

Gu Yanzhi has a calm personality, Xu Jingyang is a funny guy who can never keep secrets, and Song Yubai is the most outspoken one in the dormitory, but also the most handsome, with the most girls chasing after him.

When they played basketball together, you could hardly hear the names of other girls on the court. Even if you did, they would be drowned out by the shouts of "Song Yubai".

And he himself is the most reserved and introverted one among the four.

Maybe this is one of the reasons why the girl he likes doesn't like him. If it were him, he would probably also like a dazzling existence like Song Yubai.

Precisely because of his personality, Song Yubai has always had a good relationship with him. They are truly close friends. He told him, and only him, the story of his secret crush on a girl for five years.

This is a secret between two people.

Song Yubai would tell him about their first meeting and how he would deliberately create opportunities for them to run into each other.

He said that she was cute because of her chubby appearance, and also said sarcastically that those skinny girls nowadays were obviously malnourished.

She said that his family wanted him to study abroad, but he fought hard and stayed in Songcheng for her.

It tells that he likes her but dares not express it.

He was always thinking about it after meals.

What kind of girl could make the 'heartthrob' Song Yubai like her so much?

I heard from Song Yubai that she worked very hard to get into Song University.

This means that he will become her senior.

The more curious I am, the more nervous I become.

The closer it was to the start of freshman year, the more anxious he became. He even began to suffer from insomnia at night. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamed of her again. She was tall and thin, but he couldn't see her face.

On the first day of school, they were standing at the service station at the school gate to welcome new students. Song Yubai took advantage of Yangzi's inattention and whispered to him, "Look, here she is. She's the prettiest one in the white dress."

Shen Qingchen followed his gaze and looked over...

On that sunny day, in the vast crowd, his eyes were serious and straightforward, and he only saw her.

In the sunshine, the spring breeze blows away the drunken grass and trees, and a new green needle falls.

Shen Qingchen only felt that in a moment, the heaven and earth were no longer the same, and all things were empty.

Seventeen-year-old Li Wanyi was bright and beautiful, with clear and bright eyes. Her every frown and smile was like a feather passing through his heart.

He felt that the girl was even better than Song Yubai described, so good that he could not tolerate anyone else in his life.

No wonder Song Yubai has liked her for so long, he seems to have fallen in love with her too...

He began to look forward to meeting her by chance on campus, even just seeing her back.

It was a pity that that girl was the one his good brother fell in love with first. The higher education he received since childhood told him that such behavior was shameful and he should never steal his good brother's woman.

Even coveting is a sin, but liking someone is human instinct, how can one control it?

He was like a cowardly scavenger, looking forward to hearing news about her from Song Yubai every day, even if it was just her name.

He learned about her birthday from Song Yubai, and he would prepare birthday gifts for her every year, but he never dared to give them to her.

I feel disgusted by my behavior, but at the same time I can't help but want to know.

For countless days and nights, he was trapped in a cycle of self-anxiety.

When he finally figured it out and decided to give it a try and confess his feelings to her, he found a love letter written by Song Yubai in the trash can. (See Chapter 118)

At that moment, he suddenly woke up as if he had been enlightened. What on earth was he doing?

In the second semester of his sophomore year, when he learned that she was going to California, he locked himself in the room, got drunk and cried, which scared Mr. and Mrs. Shen.

He still remembers that feeling vividly, as if his heart was being tormented by hundreds of claws, as if he were living a life worse than death, and his heart was so tightly locked that he couldn't breathe.

In the end, she left.

On the day she left, he quietly went to see her off. Looking at the plane flying to California in the sky taking away his beloved girl, his heart felt dead and could no longer beat.

It was not until a few years later when her father got into trouble and was imprisoned that he saw her again. She was thinner and more beautiful than before, and exuded a strong determination.

He seemed to like her even more.

How can I only fall in love with someone once when I fall in love with him/her at first sight?

At the same time, I became even more timid.

There was even a moment when he hoped forever that this secret love would end naturally.

No one will know until you die.

Anything that you can't get will make you feel anxious.

When it comes to secret love, it is often much easier to persist than to give up.

It was not until he heard the official announcement that he realized they were heading for each other, and his unspeakable secret love came to an end.

That night, he cried and then laughed. His favorite girl finally found her own happiness. He should really wish her the best.

Since she is not destined to belong to him, he can only bless her with a sincere and passionate heart and hope that she lives a good life.

But fortunately or unfortunately, he would probably cry.

Back to her wedding day, she was so beautiful in her white wedding dress, like a fairy from heaven.

But I dressed up and attended the event only to miss her, which put an end to my years of secret love in my youth.

He stood on the stage and clenched his fists again and again, trying to suppress all the impulses in his heart.

It felt like I had never owned her for even a second, but it felt like I had lost her thousands of times.

The older you get, the more you will understand that the best thing in the world is what you can’t get.

When she woke up from the dream, Shen Qingchen wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, packed her luggage, and set off for Nanzhou without any reluctance.

Because he knew that no matter how beautiful the aurora was, he couldn't stay here forever, and when it was time to leave, he must not look back.

The plane landed in Nanzhou.

I returned to the home I had lived in for three years. The moment I opened the door, a small figure ran over and called out sweetly, "Dad~"

The tiny person could only reach the height of his thighs. Shen Qingchen sighed and leaned over to hold the person in his arms, his eyes full of tenderness and doting, "Do you miss your daddy?"

The girl wore a pink tutu, had blonde hair and blue eyes, and had long, thick eyelashes. She smiled happily and sincerely, as if there were little stars in her eyes. She hooked her little arm around his neck and said, "I miss you so much. I miss you so much that I can't eat or drink."

"Dad misses you too." Shen Qingchen held her with one hand and carried the suitcase with the other hand as he walked towards the stairs, "Let's go and see what gift I brought you."

"That's great! Daddy, I love you the most." The girl cheered and gave Shen Qingchen a kiss on the face happily.

If there is anything in this world that can heal and touch people's hearts, it must be the little girl's sweet smile.

Shen Qingchen's smile deepened, "Xiao Nanfeng's Chinese is getting better and better. It seems that he is studying hard."

The two had already arrived at the study while talking.

The girl pointed at the white A4 paper on the table and said, "Of course, I also learned to write Chinese characters. Dad, look at the name I wrote."

There were a few crooked big characters on the white paper that seemed about to fall apart at any time, but Shen Qingchen could still make out what was written on them.

'Shen Nanfeng loves Shen Qingchen'

Shen Qingchen smiled and rubbed her soft hair, encouragingly saying, "Xiao Nanfeng is great."

He placed the little figure on the desk, picked up the pen on the desk, and wrote a sentence under the crooked big characters, "The south wind knows my wish, and blows my dream to Xizhou."

After finishing, Shen Qingchen took out the photos of the aurora taken in Iceland from his suitcase and stacked them together with the photos of the previous 17 stops.

Finally, put the white paper with the words on it into a kraft paper envelope and seal it.

However, this letter will be permanently sealed and will not be sent or opened again.

-

If there is a disaster in the end, let me get lost in your eyes.

One glance at the world, one glance at eternity.

——Shen Qingchen

Finish.

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In Qing Chen's monologue, the word "Li Wanyi" is not mentioned anywhere in the whole text, but between the lines it is clear that he loves her terribly.

In the secret love of youth, there are not so many things that are just right, and most of them end in vain.

There are about eight chapters left before the full text is completed. The name of the next book is "Privately Possessing Jiaojiao", which is expected to be released in mid-February. Thank you all for your long-term companionship and love.

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