Life is more than just living

One Saturday, Chen Xu declined an invitation to go to Zhang Dawei's house for dinner, saying that he wanted to spend more time with his grandma. On the way, she finally summoned up the courage to call Wu Sixian.

When Wu Sixian answered the phone, Chen Xu's voice was choked and he called "grandma". When Wu Sixian heard Chen Xu's voice, he was also very excited, "Xiao Xu, how are you doing?" Chen Xu suddenly couldn't restrain his emotions and said with a cry: "Grandma, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I haven't called you for a long time. I don't have the nerve to call you. But I miss you very much." Wu Sixian said: "Silly boy, I really like you, not just because you are Yidao's girlfriend. Even if you He Yidao can't be together, and grandma's love will not be less. How are you now? Is your work going well? Do you have a boyfriend? "

Chen Xu briefly talked about his work situation and said that he was trying to date a male classmate. Wu Sixian didn't blame her, just said: "Xiao Xu, you don't have to feel any psychological burden, and don't feel sorry for anyone, just follow your heart. But are you sure you know what you want?"

After hanging up the phone, Wu Sixian's words kept lingering in Chen Xu's ears. Before, Chen Xu thought that he knew what he wanted. He just wanted a stable and peaceful life. He also thought that Zhang Dawei could bring him this kind of life. kind of life person. But in fact, I have been to Zhang Dawei's house several times, and I never felt that that was the life I wanted. She even thought that if Zhang's mother were a man, Chen Xu would be willing to live with her, work so actively, and love life so much. Unfortunately, the two men in this family are not like that. Chen Xu felt that she had changed. In the past, she could leave the provincial capital and Han Yidao very decisively. But now, facing the emotionless Zhang Dawei, she could not make up her mind.

Chen Xu looked down on her own indecisiveness. She often thought of those helpless scenes: the way Zhou Fenglan abandoned her outside the court; the way Chen Zhigang, wearing a security uniform, chased away her and her grandmother; and the way she was in her first year of junior high school. When she came home during the winter vacation, her grandma ignored her and she had no place to stay and could only wander on the street. Because of this, Chen Xu couldn't bear to break up with Zhang Dawei. Zhang's mother regarded Chen Xu as a beam of light shining into the family. Chen Xu saw that life in this family was not easy. Her first thought was not to escape, but to go. Change. She didn't even care about whether she and Zhang Dawei had feelings or passion. She just felt that if Zhang Dawei could get rid of some bad habits, it would be tolerated. She didn't dare to tell her true thoughts to her grandma, nor to Liu Jingsheng. .

Chen Xu has been in great pain recently. She knows that Zhang Dawei is not her husband, but she is trapped in the mud.

When the bus arrived, Chen Xu got out of the car listlessly. When I got home, I was surprised to find that Chen Zhihua was also at home. When he saw Chen Zhihua, Chen Xu had no expression on his face, neither angry nor resentful. Chen Zhihua said a little awkwardly: "Chen Xu is back." Chen Xu nodded and said nothing. When Chen Zhihua saw that Chen Xu was unwilling to pay attention to her, he left on the pretext that something happened.

Grandma told her naggingly, "Your aunt's life is not going well. Wang Yu and his wife don't go to work. They don't make money and they don't take care of the children. The two of them eat and drink at home every day. Your aunt and his wife Your uncle works so hard, and it’s so thankless. Wang Yu’s kid didn’t do well in school. How much did your aunt worry about? When you were in school, you went to some Internet cafe to find someone. If you don’t live up to your expectations, when will you It’s also useless!”

Chen Xu was silent again. If he really married into Zhang Dawei's family, he couldn't imagine that he and Zhang Dawei's mother had worked hard to make money to change the living conditions of the family, but Zhang Dawei and his father were sitting there enjoying the gains. Will such a life really get better and better? If you have children in the future and the burden increases, life will only get worse.

Liu Jiaxin's grandma came to visit again and asked Chen Xu gossipingly, "Have you found anyone yet?" Chen Xu nodded.

Grandma Liu immediately perked up, "What does the man do?" Chen Xu regretted telling the truth. Would it have been easier if he said he didn't have a partner? Now I had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "He doesn't have a job for the time being. The guy who graduated with me is preparing to take the job exam." As a result, Liu Jiaxin's grandma said in a disgraceful way, "Then what if he keeps failing the exam? I know There are many people who have been taking the exam, but there are some who have been taking the exam for many years and have not passed the exam until they are overage and are not allowed to take the exam." Chen Xu sighed: "Then there is nothing you can do, just find another job. !" Liu Jiaxin's grandma looked at Chen Xu and said, "Is their family rich? If they are rich, it doesn't matter whether they have a job or not. If they don't have a job and no money, it won't work." Chen Xu didn't want to talk about this topic. . So I went to wash my grandma's clothes. The two old ladies were still chattering endlessly about having a partner.

After Chen Xu called Wu Sixian today, he was still in a bad mood. Grandma Wu was right, but she was riding a tiger and couldn't get off. What should she say when they broke up? Because you don't love it? I didn’t like it at first; is it because Zhang Dawei doesn’t want to make progress? But Zhang Dawei is studying, regardless of whether it is true or false; do you think the two of you don't have feelings for each other? The feeling was inherently ethereal. It's really annoying. If she wants to break up with Zhang Dawei, she always wants a reasonable reason that doesn't hurt their self-esteem.

Chen Xu had made up his mind to break up with Zhang Dawei when he returned, but things often backfired. At this moment, something happened to Zhang's mother. When she was cleaning the corridor, she stepped back and wiped the stairs. She accidentally stepped on the air and fell, breaking her arm. The insurance company paid some medical expenses. Chen Xu felt that it was not appropriate to break up at this time, so she bought fruits and nutritional supplements to visit Zhang Dawei's mother. Just then Zhang's father was complaining about his wife, "You said you are the same. You need wages to do some work, so how can you fall down? How can you fix it now?" Zhang Dawei's mother has a plaster on her arm. She is not sad. , did not feel chilled by her husband's words, but said optimistically: "It's okay, I can do it with one arm."

Zhang Dawei finally said something warm at this time, "Mom, your arms are like this, don't do it yet." Unexpectedly, Zhang's mother said persistently: "No, if I don't do it now, someone will take my place. When I get better, this job will be gone." Chen Xu also advised: "Auntie, you should heal your injury first before talking about it!" But Zhang's mother insisted: "It's okay, don't worry, I heal quickly, let's talk about it later Now, it's okay for me to stay at home all the time. I'm a bitch and can't stay here." Chen Xu turned to Zhang Dawei, "Then what should I do? Why don't you help my aunt with cleaning first and wait until she gets better? Go by yourself." Before Zhang Dawei could reply, Zhang's mother shouted to speak for him quickly, "Oh, no need for him! Let him study hard at home. Studying is important. When he gets admitted to work, he can earn several thousand a month like you. Yuan, then do I still need to sweep the corridors? I will just find a lighter job then."

Chen Xu sighed, after all, he still couldn't bear it. While Zhang's mother was cleaning the corridor with one arm, Chen Xu accompanied her when he had time. After Chen Xu finished get off work and had dinner, he accompanied Zhang's mother to clean the corridors. He did it after nine o'clock every night. Because Zhang's mother was slow to do one arm during the day, Chen Xu worked overtime with him, and then took the bus after finishing the work. Drive back to the unit. Chen Xu's idea was to wait until Mrs. Zhang's arms were better before breaking up, otherwise it would just make things worse.

During the weekends of the past two weeks, Chen Xu called his grandma and told her that he couldn't go back and that he had work to do here. In fact, he went to help Zhang's mother during the day on Saturdays and Sundays. One day, Zhang's mother wiped the handrail of the stairs with a rag with her uninjured hand, while Chen Xu mopped the floor with a mop. Suddenly a person walked downstairs, Chen Xu quickly hid aside to make way. Unexpectedly, the man stood motionless on the steps looking down at the people below. Chen Xu saw no movement for a long time and looked up. He was really an enemy on a narrow road and it turned out to be Yan Donglin. He saw Chen Xu standing against the wall with a mop in his hand, his hair already wet and tangled with sweat. He couldn't help but asked: "What are you doing?" Chen Xu didn't know how to answer.

When Zhang's mother saw the tall Yan Donglin asking questions, she quickly asked, "Who are you? Do you know our Chen Xu?" When Yan Donglin heard her say "our Chen Xu", she thought she was Chen Xu's mother, so she softened her attitude , said: "I am Chen Xu's colleague, aunt, your arm is injured, why are you still doing this?" Zhang's mother said: "Poor people can't be so delicate." Chen Xu didn't want to say too much, just said He said: "Yan Donglin, are you going out? Come over and don't delay our work." Yan Donglin reached out to take the mop from Chen Xu's hand, but Chen Xuduo dodged it and said, "No, I'll do it myself." Just come."

Zhang's mother suddenly realized that Yan Donglin was the one who had thoughts about Chen Xu. She quickly said: "Chen Xu, let's do it quickly and go back after finishing this! Dawei hasn't eaten at home yet, otherwise you Leave this to me, and you can go back and cook something for him." Yan Donglin was not stupid, and finally understood the relationship between them. Yan Donglin snorted coldly and walked out. When Chen Xu finished his work and came down with a bucket and mop, he saw that Yan Donglin did not leave, but sat in the car and remained motionless. Chen Xu helped Zhang's mother put the things back on the property and was about to leave. Yan Donglin drove after her, and Chen Xu said goodbye to Zhang's mother and walked out of the community. Yan Donglin drove and followed her. Finally, Chen Xu couldn't bear it and stopped, "What on earth are you going to do?" Yan Donglin said sarcastically: "Is this the life you want?"

Chen Xu rubbed his neck and said, "It has nothing to do with you what kind of life I choose." Yan Donglin sneered, "Are you the Holy Mother? Are you going to help the poor? How much energy do you have? Can you bring happiness to a family like that? The road to prosperity? Originally, the choice you made has nothing to do with me! But that day, it was obviously because I said a few radical words and hit that man named Dawei that you agreed to be with him out of anger. I I think it's stupid for you to be angry with me like this, and you don't have to go out of your way to prove to me that you can live a good life. Because from now on, it really has nothing to do with me! From now on, we will be colleagues in the same unit, nothing more. ! I won’t say a word to you unless I have to, because I don’t want to talk to idiots. Just like that, you can take care of yourself. If you don’t want to make yourself cry, then find a way out of the sea of ​​misery as soon as possible! "