Fetal wear, a slight smile is very charming

Xu Zao, gender: female, was born on July 1998, 7 in Lanxing. He has parents and a younger brother.

She entered first grade at the age of 5. This does not mean that she was excellent, but that there was no preschool at that time, so she had to attend first grade for an extra year. Don’t overthink it and just smile.

Xu Zao has been slower than others since she was a child and is not very smart. According to her mother, when she went out with her aunt, her aunt pushed her down on the stool without pushing her down all the way. She remained in this position for a long time.

Xu Chen went to an ordinary elementary school. Before the fourth grade of elementary school, he was a good student. Double digits in mathematics were normal, and he was in the 20s. Yes, he was just that good.

I repeated a grade in the fourth grade and went to work with my parents. Finally, my brain became a little more enlightened, my grades improved a little, and I started to win awards. But it's not that great.

Even in a rural primary school where a little fool like Xu Zao can win prizes, we know that the whole school's performance will not be very good.

Why did Xu Zaohui get better grades? It was because there wasn't much to kill time at that time, and he couldn't just pick up stones and skip rope when he had free time.

Playing house was something she often played during the summer and winter vacations, so she wrote in the textbook and read it over and over again, and her grades improved a little.

So she is a bit not very smart.

My personality is also a bit autistic, so I can play together, but I don’t have very close friends.

At home, no matter what Xu Zao did or how obedient he was, he never received praise from his parents. Outside, Xu Zao was often described as worthless. Xu Zao's father would even hit her with a slap, a slipper, a stick, or a slap on her feet. She didn't know how to hide, she just waited for her father to fight enough.

Of course it was when he did something wrong, but Xu Zao himself didn't know what he did wrong.

When Xu Chen was in primary school, she looked forward to her parents coming to bring umbrellas when it rained. She saw many of her classmates’ parents coming, and some even traveled across the mountains.

Looking at the rain outside the window, I look forward to it raining harder, so that I can wait for my parents.

But Xu Zao was doomed to be disappointed. Xu Zao went back in the rain, and was taught that he was stupid and would come back after the rain stopped.

Then one day, she didn't wait for her brother to go back together, so she asked her brother's classmates. His classmates said, "Sister, your mother took your brother back."

Xu Zao remembered that it was raining that day, and it was raining very hard. Xu Zao couldn't tell whether it was the sky or his heart.

Xu Zao's mother has always told Xu Zao that our family is poor and we shouldn't spend money randomly. However, Xu Zao's salary is fifty cents a week or less, and sometimes none at all.

Xu Zao was also very obedient. If she only used a little bit of her homework book for this class, she would tear it up and use it in other classes. Save as much as you can and buy it, it lasts year after year.

But Xu Zao's younger brother was not. Xu Zao was beaten when his younger brother made mistakes, and Xu Zao was scolded when his younger brother was ignorant.

When his younger brother acted like a spoiled child, his parents gave him what he wanted, endless homework books, colorful erasers that Xu Zao envied, toy cars, and candies that he held in his hand every time he went out.

Xu Zao’s mother complained that her son’s toy cars were easily worn out when playing with them, but she still bought them every time she went there.

That kind of thing Xu Zao couldn't envy.

Xu Zao once asked for it. She wanted a good-looking Barbie doll, because everyone around her had one. She was attracted by the colorful clothes, and she mustered up the courage to tell her mother, but her mother said it was inedible, so she didn’t want it. Bought, wasted.

Xu had not asked for it early, and then she never asked for anything from anyone else.

Xu Zao actually knew that maybe his mother didn't like him very much, because Xu Zao washed himself after he was 5 years old, and Xu Zao couldn't remember things before he was 5 years old. Xu Zao took a shower by herself that day, but Xu Zao still couldn't touch her back. She asked her mother for help, but the disgust on her mother's face and the rejection in her mouth made Xu Zao at a loss.

It was a very independent and dual-standard education, and the family affection seemed to be slowly fading in Xu Zao's heart. It's not that she doesn't recognize her parents, but she has become colder than others. Xu Zao thinks this is a disease, but she can't help it.

She knew she couldn't make it.

Some of her classmates didn't even know she existed. What happened was that one day, a friend who she was playing with came to class to look for Xu Zao.

When I meet someone from Xu Zao's class, I look for Xu Zao from your class, but they say they don't know and there is no such person in their class.

It’s just so outrageous, hahaha. Xu Zao felt funny when he thought about it.

At least what's funny, who knows?

Later, I was admitted to the junior high school in my hometown. There were many people from different villages with various personalities.

There was someone she envied, sunshine and cheerfulness that she had never had before.

Xu Zao really wanted to be friends with them.

But her slow-tempered personality is incompatible with others.

She still didn't act.

Xu Zao's junior high school had a library. Xu Zao heard this from her classmates, and she inquired about the location of the library.

It was on the far left side of the fourth floor of another building next to where she went to school. She went there right after school. From then on, her soul found sustenance and her emotions had a place to go.

The novel was her lifelong best friend that no one could get past.

And because of the novel, she became a lot more cheerful, and even made a good friend in her third year of junior high school.

Later, she was admitted to the county's general high school. She met the hypocrite head teacher and the classmates who looked down on others, but she couldn't feel it at the time. These were the summary of her long time since she came to work.

Her habit has not changed. She sits in her seat obediently and does not get up unless necessary.

All her gossip comes from her classmates, from the loud voices of her classmates at the front and back. It was like this that I spent three years unconsciously.

Due to family reasons, Xu left the society. At first, he followed his cousin to work in a factory. Two years later, he returned to his hometown. A year later, he moved from his hometown to the city to work in a factory.

Two years later, he returned to his hometown city from working as a salesman for two years, living an ordinary life.

Xu Zao rarely goes home. Others would miss home and cry at night, but Xu Zao never does.

Ever since Xu Zao came out to work, Xu Zao's father and brother would ask for money from time to time, and Xu Zao felt a little tired.

Sometimes Xu Zao would wonder if she had never been expected in this world. Without an answer, she would not think deeply about it.

In the past, I would think a lot, and the next day my eyes would be very swollen after thinking deeply. Others would tease Xu Zao if he was in love.

Xu Zaohui smiled and said he was reading novels.

Xu Zao wondered if she was even more stupid in the eyes of others at this time.

People who see things too clearly will become more miserable as time passes. Sometimes Xu Zao will be glad that he is not smart enough.

Life is rarely confusing.

After thinking about it, Xu Zao never cried again. He was numb and persistent at work and off work every day.

My mood gradually became brighter.

Because she understands that only by letting herself go can she live a good life.

At least he didn't starve to death and grew up well. I have also completed compulsory education, so I am not illiterate. You should be grateful.

The days passed as usual.

Until one day, I stayed up late reading a novel for a long time due to rest, so I fell asleep and woke up in a different place.