I don't deserve your love

"That's your home."

She murmured.

Now, she lives in such a spacious house, has several children, has been married for so many years, and sits on the same sofa with her husband. She doesn't even feel that home is what it is.

Home, the word, is not a complicated stroke.

However, she may not deserve it.

"Don't you think the old house is a home?"

Fu Yanye looked at her, and soon asked his doubts.

"I'm really homeless."

Zhuo Jian smiled calmly, her voice was very soft, without any bad emotions.

It's just that the lips are very hot, even a little trembling.

No one loves and protects her unconditionally like parents.

Or the kids are, but they're too young.

She even felt that she was thrown on a cold and gloomy isolated island, in the middle of the dark sea.

What should she do to return to her once, that warm home?

dead?

Or mom and dad are waiting for her in heaven?

She thought too much, no matter how lonely she felt in her heart, the tears flowed down stubbornly, regardless of her feelings, and soon burst into tears.

She felt sorry for herself.

Zhuo Jian trembled suddenly, not wanting to be seen by him crying like a river of uselessness, she turned her back to him and lay down on the back of the sofa.

In the light from the TV screen, he could see her trembling thin body.

Soon, he turned his eyes to look inside.

He clenched his hands quietly, and there was some determination and hatred on his face.

After a long time, he picked her up from behind her into his arms.

"Zhuo Jian."

His voice was very soft, so soft that it seemed a little humble.

Ever since he was a child, he never wanted her to be so sad.

but……

"Why don't you let me go? There are so few times when we are happy together, and so many times when we are unhappy."

Zhuo Jian was obediently in his arms, looking at him with tears in her eyes, and asked her doubts in her hoarse voice.

"I can't let it go."

He struggled to make a sound.

Zhuo Jian's whole body tensed up, the warmth in her eyes gradually dissipated, and she gradually felt a little desperate.

Zhuo Jian didn't ask him any more, and just stayed with him honestly.

"I want to take you home, I don't want you to live here by yourself."

His voice was also hoarse, and he hugged her even tighter.

In the spacious but silent living room, the voices of two people were only strong enough for each other to hear.

"I don't want to, you promised me, let me be here."

"I regret it, Zhuo Jian, I regret it, I want to be a villain, a villain who will imprison you no matter how painful you are, I want to satisfy my own selfish desires, I don't want to care what you think I."

Even thinking of him is heinous.

Even thinking of him so much that she gritted her teeth in hatred.

Zhuo Jian looked at him in fear, if he really did that, it would be like before...

Zhuo Jian's breathing became restrained, and her eyes begged him not to do that.

Fu Yanye looked at her, "Don't be afraid, I will try my best to be a good person."

Zhuo Jian's tears fell again.

Because he said he would do his best to be a good person.

He wanted to kiss her, as recklessly as last night.

But he promised her to try to be a good person.

So I tried and tried, finally restrained, and finally resisted the urge before kissing her and occupying her, and asked her: "Have you eaten tonight? Are you hungry? I'll get you something to eat."

Zhuo Jian shook his head dully.

"I'm going to cook, you watch TV first, huh?"

His eyes are full of patience and doting.

Zhuo Jian thought about him saying that he wanted to be a villain, so she nodded obediently in fear.

Fu Yanye put her down and sat down on the sofa, and handed the remote control to her hand. He still couldn't help but hook her long hair that covered half of her face behind her ears. In fact, he still wanted to kiss her.

But the way Zhuo Jian looked at him made him restrain himself, got up and went to the kitchen.

Soon Fu Yanye heard the door closing outside, and when the noodles were cooked and went out, he found that the sofa was empty.

He stood at her door with his face upright, knocked lightly, and opened the door.

Zhuo Jian didn't feel hungry at all, there was something hot in her stomach, seeing him approaching, smelling the smell of noodle soup, her stomach suddenly turned up, she quickly got out of bed, and ran to the bathroom barefoot.

Fu Yanye: "..."

Zhong Mai's words suddenly echoed in his mind.

But how could she?

She is Zhuo Jian.

She has experienced so many things, she has matured long ago.

Fu Yanye put the noodles on the bedside table until she came out weakly.

Her steps are heavy, but she looks light and light, as if she could fall down at any time.

Zhuo Jian walked up to him and discussed with him pitifully, "Thank you for your noodles, I will definitely finish eating later, can you go back first?"

"Zhuo Jian."

he called her.

His eyes dimmed.

He is sad, he wants to lose his temper, but he can no longer call himself that way.

"I promise, I will finish eating, there will not be a single bite left."

She looked at him deliberately and well-behaved, with the painful crystal clear when she just vomited.

He didn't say anything more, and he didn't want to see her so pitiful. He lowered his head, saw the wedding ring on his hand, hesitated for a while, and then nodded: "Okay."

He agreed, then turned and left.

After the door was closed, she was relieved only after she was at home, and then sat down on the bed in a weak state.

She still felt bad, especially after seeing the bowl of noodles on the bedside table.

Fu Yanye didn't leave after going out. His tall body stood under the aisle light, and he didn't move until the light dimmed.

-

On the third day of Zhuo Jian's leave, Jian Qian and Li Yuqing came to the door together.

Jian Qian bought fruits and vegetables, and took Li Yuqing to enter the password to open the door.

There was no sound in the house, and the curtains were closed.

Fortunately, the thin curtains in the living room let in some light, and the two of them could see the people on the sofa.

And, the cigarette butts she smoked.

There was some unclear emotion in Li Yuqing's eyes. He remembered that when he first met her, she was so small, she had a sweet smile, and she looked like a sweetheart.

But now...

She was lying on the sofa, as if she had given up on herself.

Jian Qian was also very surprised. In her impression, Zhuo Jian didn't like the smell of cigarettes.

Zhuo Jian opened her eyes in a daze, and when she saw someone coming, she got up decadently, sat in a corner and looked at them with her knees hugged: "You guys are here."

"Sister, are you okay?"

Jian Qian asked, walked over to put down the fruit, and sat gently beside her, so as not to frighten her.

"I have a little fever, but it's much better."

She takes her medicine on time every day.

"Pingping heard that you went to find Fu Yanye that night, and Liang Yu was also there."

Li Yuqing told the reason why he came here. They were worried that Zhuo Jian was sad because of what happened that night, and Ouyang Ping couldn't come because of a business trip.

"Oh, that day, wasn't it his birthday that day, Liang Yu was there, but then he went back to the old house with me."

As Zhuo Jian said, she brushed her hair, and when she thought of something, her eyes moved, and she let go of her hair again.

"Wang Rui seems to be downstairs. I'll leave first if you're okay. Jian Qian, stay and take care of me."

Li Yuqing didn't sit down, and after looking at her, he simply explained that he was about to leave.

"I'll call Sister Pingping later, don't worry."

Zhuo Jian spoke to him.

"Ah."

Li Yuqing left.

Jian Qian looked at her and couldn't help asking: "What's the matter with you? I've been by your side for so long and I haven't seen you so haggard."

"It's just that I don't have any strength."

Zhuo Jian wanted to lie down again, but because Jian Qian was there, she just leaned in slightly.

"Sister, are you and Mr. Fu so unhappy in this marriage?"

"Ok?"

"You don't eat much all day, so of course you have no strength. You can't do it if you continue like this."

Jian Qian said.

Zhuo Jian smiled, "It's not that I don't want to eat."

"You still smoke."

Jian Qian glanced at the coffee table.

Zhuo Jian didn't speak, but also looked there, and then smiled weakly: "Smoke is really a good thing."

"Can smoking make you full? Seeing you like this, you must not have eaten. I'll make you some porridge and side dishes, and I'll wait."

Jian Qian asked her unhappily, got up after speaking, and went straight to the kitchen.

Jian Qian was quite familiar with her here, Zhuo Jian lay back again, listening to the sound in the house, her heart seemed not as dark as it was just now.

She pinched the remote control of the electric curtain and opened it.

The room lights up.

Soon she walked to the window and saw clearly that the man walking back and forth under the shade of the trees downstairs was Wang Rui.

Fu Yanye sent him to guard here all the time?

The temperature is very high at noon these days, he is there to guard...

Zhuo Jian thought about it and decided not to mind her own business.

What he took was Fu Yanye's money, not hers.

But the two of them were eating when suddenly the door opened from the outside.

Zhuo Jian was also puzzled when she saw Fu Yanye.

Jian Qian put down her chopsticks unconsciously, and said softly, "Boss Fu."