Mr. Li, Madam, she is not guilty of death

"That's why you told me this today?" In just a few seconds, Lu Tingchuan had recovered his composure, not as irritable as before, his eyes were cold and silent, like a grave in the dark.

Shen Zhichu didn't say much else, she handed in the document bag she brought through the window: "This is what Shen Qing left behind during his lifetime."

As soon as he heard that it was Shen Qing who stayed behind, Lu Tingchuan quickly stretched out his hand to hold the document, and tightened his grip on the document.

The visiting time is very short, there is not so much time left for Shen Zhichu to talk about the past, and she has nothing to talk to Lu Tingchuan about, for this kind of scum, he deserves death.

"Don't cry while watching, I'm afraid that the dirty water flowing from your eyes will stain Shen Qing's belongings, but..." Shen Zhichu paused, then continued with a sneer, "You can cry louder on the day you die, the more The louder the better, let Shen Qing, who has been dead for two years, hear it!"

I've been dead for too long and I'm afraid I won't be able to hear it, so Lu Tingchuan, you have to cry louder, you'd better cry your throat out, and cry out all your repentance, regret, and self-blame.

Shen Zhichu got up and patted the non-existent dust on the dress, and subconsciously looked at Lu Tingchuan's legs when she left, and she noticed something was wrong from the very beginning.

Is Lu Tingchuan's leg alright?

Shen Zhichu didn't think too much about it, there were good times and bad times, he couldn't escape being shot two weeks later.

Before going out, Shen Zhichu raised his head: "It's sunny today."

Lu Tingchuan was locked in the prison and couldn't go out for a step. He couldn't see the sky outside, so naturally he couldn't feel how good the weather was outside. No matter how strong the sun was, it couldn't warm him.

His coldness oozes from his heart, flowing from Kong Laoya's heart to his whole body, his scalp is numb from the coldness.

"gone back."

Lu Tingchuan stood up tremblingly, making a rustling sound with every step he took. If you listen carefully, you will hear that it is not the sound of handcuffs on his wrists.

When he returned to the prison, the death row inmates had a single room, and there was only a bed and a chair in the empty space, and the odds and ends were placed under the bed.

Lu Tingchuan sat on the chair, opened the folder with trembling hands, his eyes were sore as soon as he opened it, and on the top was Shen Qing's medical certificate.

——Severe depression, suicidal behavior, hospitalized as soon as possible.

It turned out that Shen Qing really suffered from depression, it was still severe, Shen Zhichu was not just talking about it to mock him.

Severe depression, this disease, he knows...

Because his mother, that woman died of such a disease.

He cut his own wrist and lay dead in the cold bathtub.

His mother endured for five years, but in the end she couldn't make it through, and Shen Qing... didn't even make it through two years.

According to Shen Zhichu, she died while taking sleeping pills and sleeping in a room full of gas.

There is no one who is not afraid of pain, and Shen Qing is also afraid. Once he just stimulated her with words, she would tremble with fear, and when she accidentally saw the torture video he hid, she also looked like she was about to faint.

You said... How could such a wimpy person have the guts to swallow so many sleeping pills, turn on the gas, and lie quietly on the bed waiting to die?

With empty vicissitudes in Lu Tingchuan's eyes, he took out those pages from the file bag with trembling hands. The handwriting was Shen Qing's own.

Like her person, the handwriting is clean and beautiful.

In Shen Qing's handwritten stories, there is Mr. Lu.

Lu Tingchuan started from the beginning and looked at each word. At the end, it was as if his soul had fallen into the mud, getting heavier and heavier.

——Today is the ninth day since I left Mr. Lu, he taught me how to live, and also taught me how to live a life that is worse than death.

The sky is blue and the sun is warm. I thought I would be free when I came out, but there is no room for me in this world, so how can there be freedom.

I bought a small apartment of 50 square meters, and it feels empty when I live in it. It’s not that the house is empty, it’s that my heart is empty...

—— On the 52nd day after leaving Mr. Lu, I still think of him from time to time, and sometimes feel like I am a psycho, obviously he doesn’t love me, but I still wishful thinking, and the broken finger still hurts after being connected, just like I love it to the bone marrow, and it hurts like hell every time it rains.

——Today is the [-]th day since I left Mr. Lu, and I suddenly realized that the time has passed really fast. The weather has been good and bad recently.

I haven’t dreamed of you for a long time. It is said on the Internet that if you dream of a person three times, it means that you have no fate with him. But I have dreamed of you more than 60 times. Is it true that you will never meet in life or death?I don't know why... I suddenly felt a little sad.

——Day 120, Mr. Lu, I seem to have gotten into trouble.

They said I was wrong, but I don't know where I was wrong?I didn't seduce the director, I didn't destroy other people's feelings, I didn't step in two boats, I didn't smear others... I explained, and they didn't believe me.

You're right, a useless person like me doesn't fit in this kind of place.

——I am a person who is afraid of loneliness. When I am alone, I always think wildly. The heavy memory is like a stone and I can’t breathe. The doctor told me that I am suffering from depression.

I asked the doctor, will this disease cause death?

The doctor shook his head.

Since she won't die, why is there sadness for me in her eyes?

I'm not afraid of death, I'm just afraid of pain.

Suffering from depression, my memory seems to be getting worse, I always forget things, but I will always remember a man's name——Lu Tingchuan, he was my salvation, although he lost me in the end.

Why did Mr. Lu lose me?It may be that I can't learn that person no matter how hard I try, or I did something wrong, not good enough, which made him unhappy, so he gave me to another man.

When I was young, my mother always said that if you are not obedient, I will throw you away, so I am not obedient enough...

——In the 300 days since I left Mr. Lu, I saw someone call me crazy today. I wanted to refute it, but I remembered the medical certificate that the doctor gave me when I went to the hospital alone. I can't refute it.

I wanted to cry without being able to cry, and wanted to yell out loud, but I lost my voice when I opened my mouth.

I suddenly want to leave you, Mr. Lu.

——Mr. Lu, would you be happy if you exchanged my death for Miss Shen to come back?

I wish you all your wishes come true, and hope that the person you miss can come to you one day.

A look at my life, so far all the year round, meet and meet, it suits my wish.

June [-]st was Shen Qing's birthday. On that day, she left a last message on Weibo, only two words.

"Goodbye" bid farewell to the world, and her comment was hundreds of thousands of insults, and no one said "Happy Birthday" to her

She poured out the sleeping pills she had stored for a long time and ate them all, turned on the gas, and lay on the bed in her favorite white dress.

In the notes on the phone, there are actually her words.

She wrote it.

"After I die, I am willing to donate my body's usable organs and viscera to those in need. I would like to thank the kind people who helped me collect the body. Put the money under the pillow and take it away."

Lu Tingchuan read it page by page. Tears filled his moist eyes and fell on the page, smearing the handwriting. His heart fell so hard.

It was still dark tomorrow, but he couldn't see anything.

Clinging tightly to his heart, he wished to rub Shen Qing's handwriting into his heart, filling the vacancy in his heart for a short time.

He never knew that there was such pain in the world. He had never experienced such pain when he asked someone to amputate his leg below the knee and force it to be fitted with a prosthetic. Tears flowed out in pain.

"Shen Qing, I don't want Shen Zhichu, what I want is you, can you come back?"

Shen Qing is not someone's stand-in, her hands are not used to imitate another person to play the violin, but to write a story after another.

Unfortunately, he understood too late.

The most painful thing in this world is that when you think of someone good, she suddenly disappears from your world, and you can't even find her no matter how hard you look.

The prosthetic limbs on both legs sank into the flesh, blood was strangling, and the pain trembled.

Lu Tingchuan read Shen Qing's words tens of thousands of times, and he was able to recite them in the end. For the whole 13 days, he lived in a muddle, and the night was the most difficult. He hugged those pieces of paper as if he was hugging Shen Qing.

Sometimes he always felt that there was a person standing by the bed watching him tenderly, but every time he opened his eyes, he was the only one.

It is said that how a person dies is what the ghost after death will be like.

Lu Tingchuan is also a cripple if he doesn't want to die, he is afraid that he won't be able to catch up with Shen Qing.

Two legs were amputated and prosthetics were made. With advanced medical technology, there is nothing that cannot be done.

On the day of execution by shooting, Lu Tingchuan really cried, not because he was about to cry when he died, but as Shen Zhichu said.

Cry louder, break your throat, cry out your confession, let Shen Qing hear it.

He put Shen Qing's belongings, those few diary-like stories on his chest, lowered his head and cried, crying louder and louder, like a child who lost the most precious treasure in the world.

The memories of the past are like old photos that are constantly playing back in his mind.

There are pains and joys, all in all, they are the most precious in his life, and he will never forget them.

"Mr. Lu, my name is Shen Qing, and Qing is very clear."

"Mr. Lu, thank you for taking me home."

"Mr. Lu, I learned a lot today. I can play the violin now. Do you want to listen?"

"Mr. Lu, what do you want to eat today?"

"Mr. Lu, I'm clean, I'm not dirty..."

"So I'm a substitute..."

"Mr. Lu, the things you send out will never come back."

"Mr. Lu, I'm leaving, goodbye."

"Mr. Lu...Mr. Lu...Mr. Lu..."

Clearness is the clarity of clarity, the clarity of entanglement, the clarity of authorities who are obsessed with bystanders, and the clarity of two cleans in one life.

Shen Qing, who was dressed in a clean white dress, seemed to appear suddenly. She stood in front of him, with the breeze blowing on her face, she smiled sweetly, and stretched out her hand to him: "Mr. Lu, welcome home."

—Okay, let's go home.

"boom--"