Mr. Li, Madam, she is not guilty of death

In the quiet corridor, Li Jingshen was leaning against a wall, he lowered his head and the shadow covered his entire face, his whole body exuded low pressure, making the passing cleaners stay away.

Shen Zhichu was being rescued, Li Jingshen looked at his fingers, this was the ninth time Shen Zhichu had been rescued in the [-] days in the hospital.

People of the older generation said cats have nine lives, so Shen knew how many lives he had.

Every time Shen Zhichu was pushed into the emergency room for rescue, he felt remorseful and wanted to kill himself. Li Jingshen's heart ached like twists and turns. He had never felt so powerless before, like a piece of driftwood floating in the ocean.

Zhao Qian came again today, and it was strange to see Li Jingshen standing in the corridor. In the past, every time he came, Li Jingshen would guard Shen Zhichu in the ward and rarely move. How could he go to the corridor to breathe today?

Zhao Qian was a sensitive person, and he noticed that the atmosphere was very different before he got close.

He stood one meter away from Li Jingshen and stopped: "Mr. Li, why are you here..." It's a bit abrupt to ask, after all, he is just a subordinate who shouldn't bother with the boss, even if Even if you are curious, you should keep it in your heart and not ask more questions.

Zhao Qian wanted to change the subject, and Li Jingshen, who was lowering his head, said in a hoarse voice, "Shen Zhichu has woken up."

"Madam is awake? Then why do you..." Zhao Qian suddenly stopped talking, because he saw that the light on the door of the emergency room not far away was on, which also explained why Li Jingshen stood He didn't go to accompany Shen Zhichu at the door.

Zhao Qian looked at Li Jingshen's constant rubbing of his temples, and couldn't help but softly said, "Don't worry, Mr. Li, if Madam wakes up, it means she's all right."

Waking up in a vegetable state after sleeping for three months is a miracle in itself, what else is impossible.

"Madam is a lucky person, and nothing will happen." Zhao Qian's comforting tone was like that of an old lady.

But Li Jingshen didn't listen to a single word of these words, what hurt Li Jingshen was not only Shen Zhichu's fate, but also the unbridgeable gap between them.

Seeing Shen Zhichu's frightened expression when he woke up, he knew that the two of them would never go back to the past.

It was impossible for Shen Zhichu to forgive him. When she was suffering from stomach cancer, her husband drove her into the bottomless abyss with his own hands, where she was tortured endlessly and lost all hope.

An hour later, Shen Zhichu was finally pushed out of the emergency room. Her face was still pale, her lips were blue, and even when she fell asleep, her brows were still furrowed in pain, as if she was struggling in a nightmare.

Such a fragile Shen Zhichu hurt Li Jingshen's heart again. Shen Zhichu was only temporarily out of danger, and the situation like today may still exist.

And her disease, the advanced stage of stomach cancer is irreversible, no one knows how long she can live.

The doctor told Li Jingshen truthfully about Shen Zhichu's situation, and Li Jingshen was out of state, and his eyes turned to Shen Zhichu, and his whole body was wandering.

In the end, it was Zhao Qian who remembered them one by one. Generally speaking, the injuries suffered by Shen Zhichu had already exceeded the tolerance of ordinary people.

The injury in the doctor's mouth refers to stomach cancer, and the five medicines injected into her brain.

The advanced gastric cancer was detected in the hospital a year ago, and it is not easy to persist until now.

And those five nerve-destroying potions made her body worse.

In addition, because Shen Zhichu was prone to autism and depression before, and now under the stimulation of drugs, her brain nerves are very weak.

"What kind of consequences will there be?" Li Jingshen asked, he was willing to bear all the consequences, even if he faced a delirious lunatic in the future, as long as Shen Zhichu would not die.

But Li Jingshen's thinking was too simple.

The doctor said: "The content of those five medicines caused Miss Shen to lose her mind and her memory was disturbed."

"What do you mean by memory disturbance?"

"We have initially judged that there are two situations. The good situation is that the amnesia does not remember anything, and the bad situation is that it only remembers the fear like just now."

"Fear" is an unavoidable negative emotion for people, but if a person keeps falling into fear, tension, anxiety, and fear, even if Shen Zhichu does not suffer from stomach cancer, he will die.

"How can I make her forget everything?" Li Jingshen fell into fantasy, if Shen Zhichu could forget everything, could they start again?

If she really loses her memory, then this time it will be him who likes her to take care of her and won't hurt her again.

However, the doctor shook his head: "These are beyond our control. Mr. Li, we suggest that you avoid it temporarily. I am worried that Miss Shen will wake up and see you..." The next words are self-explanatory.

Li Jingshen nodded, he couldn't get close to Shen Zhichu when she was awake, and he didn't know why she would wake up, he didn't dare to stay in the ward and could only go out and stand in the hospital corridor and watch her from afar.

The psychologist in the hospital came to provide psychological counseling for Shen Zhichu, but her situation was very different from that of ordinary mental patients.

Both physically and psychologically, she has suffered severe trauma, and those injuries are engraved in her soul and cannot be dissipated. Just thinking about it hurts her heart.

Shen Zhichu would scream in fear whenever he saw people, and he was even more afraid to beg for mercy when he saw the doctor taking out a tranquilizer to give her an injection.

"Don't get an injection, I'm afraid of pain..."

Standing outside the door, Li Jingshen felt cold all over his body, and Shen Zhichu's begging voice seemed to turn into a sharp knife and dig into his heart one by one, as if his internal organs were dripping with blood.

For a few days, Shen Zhichu kept her body locked in the quilt, whenever she heard a sound, she would get up from the bed like a kitten and look around in horror.

She was afraid of everyone here, but she was even more afraid of Li Jingshen. She didn't remember very well, but she remembered all the harm Li Jingshen had brought her.

Li Jingshen stood outside the door and peeked inside through the glass on the door.

Shen Zhichu's head was drooping, his chin was bent on his chest, and his whole body trembled slightly.Seeing Shen Zhichu like this, it was as if someone was gouging out his flesh and blood with a knife.

The psychiatrist would give Shen Zhichu psychological counseling twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

After several days of enlightenment, Shen Zhichu was not as panicked when facing the psychiatrist as before, but the long-term mental tension made the already thin Shen Zhichu even thinner.

Under the guidance of the psychiatrist, Shen Zhichu began to speak, she looked around, and after seeing the lights hanging on the wall, she pointed and said, "That's a camera, he's watching me inside."

"Who is he?" asked the doctor.

Shen Zhichu shrank at the head of the bed, leaning her back against the cabinet, her eyes staring unconsciously at the floor tiles, she hugged her knees, put her index finger against her lips and whispered a word: "Ghost."

"What did he do to you?" What the doctor has to do is to make her look straight at the past, let her understand that it's over, and don't stay stuck in it and can't get out.

Shen Zhichu froze, and then looked down at his hands: "My hand, he stuck steel needles into my nails, and he also gave me needles."

"Your hand is already healed, and you won't get needles anymore."

Shen Zhichu shook her head, her face plunged into madness, she covered her neck and felt the troops tear off her collar again, and there was still a very obvious scar on her collarbone.

Shen Zhichu pointed to his collarbone: "It's been pierced here."

When the doctor saw this, his heart ached. When he was invited here to give Shen Zhichu psychological counseling, he was told that the patient had suffered severe trauma.

He thought about all kinds of situations, but what the patient encountered was beyond his imagination. He didn't dare to touch Shen Zhichu, so he could only squat down and look at her at the same level, and said softly: "The sharp weapon in the collarbone has been taken out, and the wound is also gone. alright."

Shen Zhichu shook his head, a line of tears overflowed from his eyes: "It won't get better, it will never get better."

The injury is just trauma, but what hurts is the heart. She has forgotten many things. Apart from the pain, she also feels that she has lost something very important, which she will never find.

Her heart seemed to be half eaten away, and it became empty. She was not in a hurry.

"Shen Zhichu, don't cry, I can help you."

Hearing the word "help", Shen Zhichu's body suddenly stiffened, she hugged her knees tightly, looked at the doctor in front of her with trembling eyelashes.

"Then can you give me a gun?" Shen Zhichu asked cautiously.

"What do you want a gun for?"

Shen Zhichu said: "Shoot and kill me..."

The doctor opened his mouth and was already speechless.

After that, Shen Zhichu went crazy as usual. She was afraid of needles, and the doctor didn't dare to give her a tranquilizer, so he could only coax her to take the medicine.

Shen Zhichu curled up on the bed like an insecure child, she felt a little cold, hugging her body under the quilt, even the pain was silent.

She looked at the familiar silhouette on the door and window, and closed her eyes tiredly.

........

Shen Zhichu's consciousness became more and more unclear, and he often forgot half of what he spoke intermittently.

This situation is much better than before, at least the mood has stabilized.

But only Shen Zhichu knew that she was like a prisoner on the verge of collapse, and the bed beneath her was a nailboard, no matter what posture she took, it was painful.

Sometimes she even feels that her soul is out of her body, floating in the air and looking at herself who is crying heartbreakingly below, she can hear how miserable her crying is, she is sad and wants to cry, But the soul has already dried up.

What is it to be alive?She no longer knew, and was terrified. Only death was her relief.

The soul floating in mid-air was quieted, and Shen Zhichu fell asleep for a long time, muttering: "Can you carry me home?"

Who will carry her home?She can't remember.

Li Jingshen stared at her intently, with a painful expression on his face, he gently touched her face and kissed her lips.

With the previous lessons and the doctor's warning, Li Jingshen dared not step into the ward when Shen Zhichu woke up. He only sneaked in when Shen Zhichu was drowsy, and then sat quietly by the bed. all night.

Doing wrong things can't be redeemed by regret, and nothing can make up for a dead heart. By the time Li Jingshen learned to cherish and love each other, it was already too late.

There is a wall between them, and the wall divides two worlds, he is on the river bank, and Shen Zhichu is sinking in the bottom of the sea.

If Shen Zhichu died, then he didn't want anything and died with her.