[Hokage] Terukawa

Before I say anything else, there's one thing I feel compelled to say -- well...well, maybe two.

The first thing is about the fact that I didn't have time to prepare Zhaohe's upcoming fifth birthday present. I'm really sorry. You know, I originally planned to bring it back for him when I went down the mountain next time—— A dagger, although this matter is meaningless now.And the second thing...since it is a stabbing knife for me and my family, I will temporarily change the word "say" to the word "acknowledge" Well, in fact, this is even more appropriate, after all, it was my fault.

It's like this, when I saw one of the ninjas from Wuyin Ninja Village walking towards me with a bloody wind and then raised a knife to me, I was actually not afraid at all.Instead, I looked almost gratefully at the knife—the knife that was about to send me off to be with my parents—almost throughout.

Then I got my wish, and at the same time, it was over for me.

I think I may be crazy.

This is actually the reason why I was the first to give up arguing with Zhaohe on that issue before—I didn’t know how to convince him, after all, even I thought that way myself (it’s okay to admit it, anyway, Zhaohe have no idea).That being the case, what position do I stand in to persuade Zhaohe?Speaking of it, I think this is quite funny, after all, if I want to convince Zhaohe, I must first convince myself-obviously I can’t do this, so I decided to end it after calming down for a while. This damn topic.

Asking a self-destructive person to pretend not to self-destruct to persuade another self-destructive person not to self-destruct—is this some new century tongue twister?

No one knows how empty I was when I yelled at Zhaohe, God knows Zhaohe... Maybe he just needs to argue with me a few more words, and I can't help but jump off the cliff first to understand myself.

Fortunately, I still held back after all, after all, what I promised must be done.The things that Zhao He guessed on the way have exceeded everyone’s expectations. I don’t even know what supported his trust and made him willing to follow me to that cave—maybe I drilled him to escape loophole?He must have no idea how nervous I was when he wiped those few tears—I felt like my heart was going to jump out, and the thick uneasiness squeezed my whole body and made it difficult for me to breathe. For a moment, I even thought about confessing everything—but he finally cooperated beyond my expectations. I don't know whether I should breathe a sigh of relief or tighten my heart. In short... anyway, what?I don't know, anyway, I still did what I was supposed to do in the plan, after all, 99 knocks have come, and I can't make a mistake with the last trembling.

At the last moment of my life, I think I was relieved.After all, I don’t have to hold my heart tightly, and I don’t have to think about how to face the river—it’s like the boulder that has been hanging on my chest has finally fallen, no matter how bloody and bloody, that kind of hanging can’t go up or down. The pain, suffocating, uncomfortable, almost nauseating, finally disappeared.

everything is over.

Damn it, it's easier to die than to live, and it's really hard to live - if Zhaohe heard this, he would definitely scold me, but if he's not here, then I'll be more presumptuous.As for the others... that's what I'm going to talk about in contrast to He alone, an apology is of course necessary - about our plans, about our selfishness that may be inherited in the same strain, about his future... but that's not half as different as you outsiders Don't be curious about the relationship between dime money, what I want to explain are other trivial things.

Closer to home, as I mentioned before - sometimes I will think deeply about a question, that is, whether "selfishness", which is definitely not an excellent quality, has been passed down in one continuous line in our small Yasaka family.Although I no longer have the qualifications to intervene in his life in the days to come, but for now, I can be sure that no one understands Zhaohe better than me, even righteous people and Zhizi; But to quibble, I am indeed a selfish and extremely stupid bastard, no one knows this better than me; and the righteous... This is exactly the point I want to say.

I don't know if anyone has considered a question-Yasaka Yoshito, our father.As a former elite ninja, why did he leave enough clues to be noticed by his two children?We must know that IQ is important as an innate condition, but experience and experience are even more irreparable gaps in any case-so I have every reason to believe that he did not try his best (or he could not do his best) to cover up those who are like Feihong stepping on the snow. The traces left by the general - but this is not important at all, because those clues that have not been cleaned up were indeed discovered by me and Zhaohe.At that time, I did not exchange information with Zhaohe because of some childish mentality... Now that I think about it, I feel a little funny, because in fact, we have lost the qualification of being childish at that time, but the two of us have always been protected by our parents Under the wings, there is no such speculation at all.

But—this cautious and conscientious husband and father, did he really leave those clues that symbolize danger and pressure on purpose?What Zhaohe didn't know was that everything actually happened earlier than he thought—much earlier, he must never have imagined that the righteous man would have so much blood on his body when he came back the day after the torrential rain.Thanks to the black clothes, I also accidentally slipped and fell on the place where the clothes were placed, only to find that the place had been rubbed by someone, and at that time there was a very faint smell of blood coming from the place. There was still some dampness emanating from the floor. ?

Where did the blood come from?Is it human or beast?Does Oriko know?Is the blood... another's or the righteous's own?At that moment, countless questions flashed through my mind, and the huge shock and panic made me dazed and at a loss for a while.

But this state did not last for a few days on my body. The serious illness that followed the righteous man woke me up like a heavy hammer——I was so clearly aware that such a carefree life was really possible. It may be over, I know the outside world has just been through the war at this moment, but there's never been a moment when I feel that something that brings sadness is so close to me and my home... That's how my sense of urgency comes from , even though I know very well that I can't actually do much.

In the days that followed, Zhizi would occasionally look tired, and Yoshito would occasionally look at me unabashedly and show a thoughtful expression——I can still guess wryly whether he is I was struggling with which link I went wrong so that I discovered their big secret.But at that time, I refused to confront them. I... I can't say whether I was frustrated or angry. At that time, I was like Zhaohe later, angry because I was deliberately kept in the dark-this made me feel angry. I felt like a fool who wasn't trusted and excluded, and because I really was a piece of crap who knew everything and was useless and would instead be caught in pointless anxiety.

I have to thank Zhaohe, at least the existence of Zhaohe gave me a reason to force myself to calm down.I need to try not to show my anxiety in front of Zhaohe as much as possible, and get all the knowledge and secrets that I can use and not use from the study as much as possible-ninjutsu, sealing technique, theory, blood succession scroll-I try my best To make him feel that everything is normal.Thinking about it now, I seemed to have made a choice at that time, but I didn't realize it yet.I think I even admired me at that time—neither entangled nor unwilling, "keep it from Zhaohe" became a tacit understanding between me and my parents.

At that time, I was still thinking about letting the parents solve the problem by themselves. Anyway, they would definitely not be able to do the trick of leaving the two of us to play by themselves, so I didn't delve into some details.I always thought that they would at least give themselves a way out because of the two of us... However, I was slapped hard by the fact.

I'm such a naive fool - I should have realized that our parents were much harder than they looked.Ruthless is actually a word with two sides - people can be cruel not only to others, but also to themselves.

They picked a day when Zhaohe and I were traveling alone to light a fire in the courtyard—the reason why I knew this was because I remembered that I left something at home, so I came back alone to pick it up, and I even naively thought it was They wanted to barbecue, but—who would have guessed that what they burned that day was actually the old things of me and Zhaohe? !This may sound too magical to say, but after I got more useful information and thought about it later, I had to come to an even more magical conclusion—Yiren and Zhizi, the parents of Zhaohe and I, They chose the option of "death" straight from the beginning.This option never made them feel too much entanglement and guilt, so that they can still live indifferently, while paving the way for their children with their own lives, while weaving beautiful lies one after another, leaving the two children in the dark. The idiot in the silly music.

It really hurts, doesn't it?Is there a worse gift in the world than a "We're not leaving here" on the morning of the incident?You know—you know until that morning, I thought they had their own way of getting out!If...if they had told me in advance, I wouldn't lose my temper to the point that I would later.Whether a person is old or young, there must be no lack of darkness. I even want to question why they told me their choice at that juncture...Damn it!Since they wanted to keep us in the dark in the first place, why didn't they keep us in the dark?And why did you tell me everything when you left at the end...?Even—why should I know the truth and act at the same time?Am I doing something wrong?

I lost my composure... Sorry, please ignore everything I just said.I can guarantee that those thoughts are just passing by, but in fact, I have never had any resentment--I am afraid that I will not come, so how can I have the mood to complain?My final departure wasn't even part of our plan - objectively speaking it was forced, but from my point of view, it was absolutely my own will.We all know that crouching in a cave won't solve the problem, so I need to investigate... and then you will know.

Then I found out that my last investigation was worth it-the righteous people forgot to scrape off the white line measuring the height, the tree in Zhaohe was covered by snow because of its short size, and it was only my tree The clues were revealed.That is to say, because of this little omission, my parents burned old things to cover up the existence of me and Zhaohe, all of which lost their meaning. Now that they know that Yasaka and his wife are pregnant with an heir, they will inevitably choose to kill the grass and roots. If the heir is not found, the hunt will not stop for a day.

So they found me and killed me.

…In fact, no one needs to have any regrets in the handling of this matter. At least I am glad that my life is still valuable at the last moment.At least I used my life to pave the way for Teruhe for a few years-I don’t think this group of Kirigakures would have the brains to question whether the Yasaka couple will have more than one child, and until they realize this problem, My brother Zhaohe - he is all safe.Oh, maybe I can be more confident - when these idiots found out that I have a younger brother, they didn't find Zhaohe, but Zhaohe found them - aha, I find this scene interesting .

Ah... please believe that I didn't change the subject on purpose, I was just suddenly, uh... a little proud.But I do owe him a lot, I have never been a qualified brother.

I owe him the truth, I owe him some ninjutsu lessons, I owe him a birthday present for his fifth birthday... I owe him an older brother.

Oh, now that I think about it, I seem to have failed my parents' expectations and included myself in it.So I'm probably not a qualified eldest son... If I hadn't gently let go of my parents' wrongdoing, hadn't been so childishly angry but had exchanged information with Zhaohe as soon as possible, and hadn't lost my composure casually - I would still be like now Can't do anything well, throw everything away, and even break yourself into pieces?It's a pity that there is no if.

In fact, at this point, whether as an unqualified eldest son or a failed elder brother, I have basically finished what I want to say.But I always have something to tell Zhaohe... about us, about him, about choice, about love and hate... I think I need to organize the language first, if I can meet my brother once, I will Tell him all of it—in person, not through this stupid paraphrase.