Joy of Life

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

After months of travel, the Crown Prince of Qing Kingdom and his group finally returned from the distant Nanzhao to Jingdou. The official road outside Jingdou had not been covered in yellow dirt and sprayed with water. The greenish-black stone road lay smoothly against the ground and welcomed the return of the heir. The dense willows on either side of the road nodded their branches with the breeze in greeting to the Crown Prince.

At the city gates, the civil and martial officials were there to welcome the Crown Prince back, as well as the three princes that had been left in the city. They all bowed in greeting while the Crown Prince warmly helped up his two elder brothers and younger brother. They held hands and looked at each other. They had things to say but choked on them. They instead spoke of the situation after the Crown Prince left.

The Great Prince looked with concern at the Crown Prince and confirmed that a difficult journey had not put his younger brother through too much hardship. This allowed him to relax. Like everyone else, he also wondered what his father had meant by giving this task to the Crown Prince. However, his status was the not the same as others. Additionally, his nature had always been tranquil and calm, so he didn’t wish to think too deeply. In any case, it had nothing to do with him. Everything was fine as long as Chengqian was alright.

The Second Prince, who had stayed silent for almost half a year inside his manor, flashed his trademark smile to welcome the Crown Prince back. There was something else caught in his smile. It seeped drop by drop into the Crown Prince’s heart. The Crown Prince smiled slightly toward him and nodded but didn’t say anything.

Li Chengqian held his third brother’s hand and looked at the quiet and clever face of the little boy beside him. He couldn’t help but give a sigh in his heart. The situation that had developed to what it was today quietly made this youngest brother become his biggest opponent. It was very baffling.

He suddenly remembered that the new ruler of Nanzhao seemed to be about the same age as the Third Prince. His heart suddenly jumped. The hand holding the Third Prince’s hand unconsciously loosened. Before his index finger had completely raised, he recovered and once again warmly and seriously held onto the little hand.

The Crown Prince knew that his third brother was much cleverer than that snot-nosed monarch. Furthermore, his teacher was Fan Xian. However, the Third Prince’s gaze toward the Crown Prince appeared very calm, much calmer than children ought to be. In fact, there was no other emotion at all.

The sons of the dragon stood outside the city gates, each with their own thoughts. The Crown Prince lowered his head slightly and looked at the lonely shadows under the sun. He thought, with some sadness, The harm between father and son was inevitable, but did brothers also have to hurt each other?

The Crown Prince entered the Palace, debriefed, bowed to the Emperor, and returned to his Palace.

The entire process was as smooth as the Board of Rites and the Second Temple had planned. There was not a single problem. At least, no one would be able to find anything strange in the Emperor and the Crown Prince’s expressions. However, people noticed that the Emperor seemed somewhat tired and didn’t keep the Crown Prince in Taiji Palace to talk a little. This was nothing like the emotions the Emperor should have after a son he hadn’t seen in almost half a year had finally come home. He had the Crown Prince return to the Eastern Palace.

With Eunuch Yao in the led, the Crown Prince came to the gates of the Eastern Palace. He raised his head and looked at the newly repaired Eastern Palace. He couldn’t help but let out a breath in surprise. This beautiful palace had been burned down by him. In just a few months, it had been repaired like new. It looked like his father didn’t want to make things overly sensational.

He suddenly turned his head to ask Eunuch Yao, “I want to go greet the empress dowager in a while. Will that be allowed?”

Eunuch Yao paused. He was responsible for sending His Highness back to the Eastern Palace. He had received orders from the Emperor to quietly spy on him to ensure that the Crown Prince returned to his Palace and only stayed there. This was like a twisted form of house arrest. However, the Crown Prince had asked suddenly to leave and used a good excuse. Eunuch Yao had no idea how to respond.

He forced a laugh and slowly bent his body forward. In a slightly sharp voice, he replied, “Your Highness scared me. You are the master, if you wish to visit the empress dowager, why are you asking me?”

The Crown Prince smiled bitterly and didn’t say anything as he pushed open the great doors to the Eastern Palace. As he passed through the doors, he unconsciously glanced in the direction of Guangxin Palace. He knew that his aunt had already been imprisoned in one of the royal side courtyards and the Overwatch Council was responsible for guarding her. The Guangxin Palace he was very familiar with was already completely empty. He still couldn’t resist glancing greedily in that direction. To the side, Eunuch Yao carefully observed the Crown Prince’s expressions unobtrusively.

The Crown Prince acted like he didn’t exist at all and gazed in a daze in that direction. He thought to himself, While people were alive in the world, there were always many temptations. It was impossible to know how he had been charmed and who had gone crazy. He thought of what his aunt had said. His heart began to jump. Yes, everyone was crazy, the world was crazy. Everyone in the royal family had the seed of lunacy. If he wanted the entire world, then he had to be crazy to the end.

Self-restraint led to lunacy. He once again turned and smiled warmly to Eunuch Yao. He then closed the great doors of the Eastern Palace.

An action, such as closing a door, should be done by a serving girl or eunuch. However, the amount of serving girls and eunuchs in the Palace were far from the number deemed appropriate in the system of rites. A few months ago, hundreds of eunuchs and serving girls in the entire Palace had disappeared without a trace. No one knew where they had gone. The Crown Prince knew they had gone under the ground. Although the Eastern Palace had now replaced a large number of the eunuchs and serving girls, it was clear that these new servants were rather nervous.

It was impossible to hide so many deaths in the Palace for a long time. However, no official dared to be so blind to the situation as to ask. For one, this was not something within their jurisdiction. Second, the officials were afraid of death.

As he walked, serving girls and eunuchs kowtowed in greeting but no one approached him to wait on him.

The Crown Prince smiled self-mockingly and entered the main hall. He furrowed his brows and sniffed because he had smelled a very strong scent of alcohol. The stench was so strong that it made one want to throw up. It floated through the most respected of halls in the Palace.

The light inside the hall was somewhat dim. Only a few tall lights had been lit. Li Chengqian paused and recovered his sight before seeing a familiar woman lying on the couch. To the side of the screen, the large-leaved fans that the palace treasury produced were waving up and down, creating a small breeze that dissipated the suffocating air in the hall.

The woman wore a luxurious palace robe, but her makeup was atrocious and her hair was loose. A jug of wine dangled from her hands. She was pouring wine into her mouth. Her face was wan and sallow, and hopelessness was clear between her brows.

The person holding the large-leaved fan was an indistinct eunuch.

Li Chengqian furrowed his brows in disgust but immediately sighed. A glimmer of gentleness and pity rose between his eyes as he walked forward. He knew why his mother would become like this and loathed her usual feigned mysteriousness. Once something happened, she panicked and lost her mind. But, she was his mother, after all.

The half-drunk empress started and rubbed her eyes for a moment before seeing clearly that the young man in front of her was her son. A moment later, she suddenly let out a sob and staggered up before throwing herself to her son. She held him tight and sobbed, “It’s good that you’re back. It’s good that you’re back.”

The Crown Prince held his mother and laughed amiably. “I was gone for many months. I’ve made you worry.”

A glimmer of joy flashed through the empress’ eyes. She said indistinctly, “As long as you’re alive, it’s fine… I thought… I would never see you again.”

Ever since the Emperor had sent the Crown Prince to Nanzhao, the empress’ thoughts had been sunk in hopelessness. The Emperor and her had been husband and wife for 20 years. She knew how merciless and terrifying the man on the dragon chair could be. She had thought that with the Crown Prince’s leaving, it would be difficult for him to return again. Seeing her son alive, she couldn’t help but be overjoyed. A fleeting glimmer of hope rose in her hopelessness.

The Crown Prince smiled self-mockingly and held his mother. He patted her back and said some words of comfort. Even now, the empress did not know why the Emperor had suddenly abandoned the Crown Prince. He had also not told his mother the truth. Although the people in the royal family were crazy, they still did well in terms of filial piety.

Thus, the Crown Prince did not play on telling her all the dangers and hardships he had run into during the journey. If it weren’t for someone helping him in secret, even if he made it back, he would probably be lingering on a sickbed with little chance of rising ever again.

Before long, the half-drunk empress had fallen into a deep sleep in the Crown Prince’s arms. He picked her up and moved her to the couch, pulling a thin, embroidered sheet over her. He waved his hand to stop the movements of the eunuch waving the large-leaved fan and found a round palace fan to begin carefully fanning the empress himself.

After fanning for a long time and confirming that his mother had fallen into a deep sleep, the Crown Prince threw down the fan and sat in a daze beside the couch. He buried his head deep between his knees and didn’t raise his head for a long time.

When he finally raised his head, his face was slightly pale. His gaze swept to the side and saw the only eunuch in the vast and lonely hall and asked, “Does she often drink these days?”

“Yes.” The eunuch walked out from the shadows and knelt down to greet him respectfully.

Watching the eunuch raise his face, the Crown Prince was startled. He immediately furrowed his brows and said slightly mockingly, “Of the hundred or so in the Eastern Palace, only you survived.”

The eunuch wasn’t just anyone. H had been the head eunuch of the Eastern Palace, Hong Zhu. A guilty looked rose on Hong Zhu’s face. He lowered his head and didn’t say anything. At this point, everyone in the Eastern Palace had been silenced on the Emperor’s orders. His sole survival was enough to explain the entire truth.

Although Hong Zhu had never told the secret to the Emperor, he had told it to Fan Xian. This all seemed to have sprung from that. Thus, the guilt on Hong Zhu’s face was not feigned. During his time in the Eastern Palace, the empress and Crown Prince had been relatively good to him. The empress had been particularly kind. During these recent days, he was under strict orders from the Emperor to secretly serve and spy on the empress. Seeing the disappointment and hopelessness of the mother of the nation, who used spirits to numb herself day and night, he couldn’t help feeling pity.

The Crown Prince gazed at him calmly. He then suddenly laughed unhappily. Muttering to himself, he said, “Initially I had thought father had moved you here because you had offended Fan Xian. But, I had forgotten, after all, you are someone who came from the royal study. Is the hatred between you and the Danbo Duke real?”

“It’s real,” Hong Zhu lowered his head and replied. “However, I am a man of the Qing Kingdom. The Emperor’s orders come first.”

For some reason, the Crown Prince flew into a rage. Grabbing something from beside him, he threw it at him and cursed loudly, “You eunuch! You dare refer to yourself as a man?”

The thing he had thrown out was the rounded fan he used earlier to fan the empress. It floated lightly and without strength. It did not hit Hong Zhu. It floated down near him and landed on the front of his eunuch robes.

The Crown Prince was afraid of waking his mother and calmed his heaving breathing with great difficulty. Gazing at Hong Zhu with hatred, he said, “Looks like the Emperor really does like you… You know such a major thing, yet he kept your dog life.”

Hong Zhu kowtowed twice and asked with confusion, “Your Highness, what matter?”

The Crown Prince came to his senses. After a moment of silence, he suddenly said, “At present, the Eastern Palace is nothing like what it once was. What are you still doing here? If you want to leave, I will talk to my father.”

Hong Zhu’s expression was hesitant. He said, a moment later through gritted teeth, “I want to stay in the Eastern Palace.”

“Stay here to spy?” the Crown Prince lowered his voice and asked cynically. “The entire place is filled with spies. Do you even make a difference?”

For things having developed to where they were today, the Crown Prince knew that the Emperor would eventually depose of him. Since it was so, why bother being hypocritical while hidden in his own palace?

“I want to serve the empress.”

After a moment of silence, the Crown Prince suddenly sighed. A glimmer of pity rose to his face. He looked at Hong Zhu. “Xiu’er also died?”

Kneeling on the ground, Hong Zhu’s body shook. After a long time, he sorrowfully nodded his head.

…

…

“Has anything happened during these months?” The Crown Prince watched Hong Zhu quietly and asked a question that, logically speaking, never had an answer.

Hong Zhu was silent for a long time. He then said, “The Emperor went to Hanguang Palace a few times. Each time he came out, he wasn’t very happy.”

The Crown Prince smiled slightly and felt himself relax a little. He looked at Hong Zhu with approval, and said, “Thank you.”

Hong Zhu lowered his head and said, “I dare not accept it.”

The Crown Prince sat beside the couch and began to think. It was clear that his father had not told the truth of this matter to the empress dowager. Although the Emperor controlled the world and none dared to bar him, yet an Emperor such as his father was still trapped by a bind on his heart.

He was bound by such things as face that was like toilet paper and the words “filial piety.”

Qing Kingdom was particular about using filial piety to govern the world. The Emperor had placed the cage around himself.

Li Chengqian clenched his fists slightly and knew that he still had some time. If his father wanted to depose him, he still needed time to arrange his arguments. Even if the Eighth Bureau of the Overwatch Council wanted to create rumors, it wouldn’t be that easy.

…

…

“I wonder how Hong Zhu’s feels about Xiu’er’s death,” Fan Xian said quietly. “If it was any other eunuch, perhaps they couldn’t think too much about it. I know that Hong Zhu has never been a simple eunuch. He’s studied and understands, which is why he understands gratitude and hatred, and values friendship. After all was said and done, the reason Xiu’er was killed was because of me and him. It was us two who caused the deaths of hundreds of people in the Palace.”

He furrowed his brows. “It seems that our imagination is still somewhat lacking when it comes to the Emperor’s ruthlessness. Fine, even if Hong Zhu doesn’t hate me, he will certainly hate himself. Will this cause any problems?”

He once again said “fine” then said unhappily, “But the deaths of those hundreds of people were still caused by me. Yes, I am a very indifferent and merciless person, but I am still not as strange a creature as Uncle Wu Zhu. I still feel strange in my heart. In the past, I had said to Haitang that I could kill dozens and hundreds of people without a blink of the eye, but I couldn’t be an Emperor because I wouldn’t be able to maintain my calm when tens of thousands of people died in front of me.”

“It was my secret influence that made the Emperor want to depose of the Crown Prince… Of course, even if I didn’t influence him, this will matter would still have blown up.” Fan Xian shook his head. “Now, I want the Emperor to not depose of the Crown Prince so quickly. Why is that? Isn’t this very pointless and absurd? Just what am I afraid of?”

“After the raging inferno and hot oil, there is only a cold pot and leftover rice…” He smiled self-mockingly. “If the Crown Prince, Second Prince, and Eldest Princess are all done for, then I am the leftover rice and dishes. Even if the Emperor truly loved me and was willing to take me to conquer the world… But, as you know, I am a pacifist. Yes, a very hypocritical pacifist. I don’t like war. Everything I have done these two years, was it not to maintain the current status quo?”

“Thus, I must delay. I cannot let the Emperor enter the path of preparing for war before I am ready. At that time, he will have the Great Prince leading the troops and me supervising them. Killing our way into Northern Qi and Dongyi, there will be endless ghosts beneath our knives. Even thinking of such bloodthirsty days makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“This is the main conflict when hiding. You know this.”

After Fan Xian said this, he carefully put away the piece of paper in front of him and replaced it back into the chest. He sighed and was angry at his own curiosity. Every time, he couldn’t resist taking out his mother’s letter to read it again. But every time he read it, it was unbelievably troublesome.

He was in Hangzhou, in Hua Garden. The huge chest at the door was still open. The white silver inside shone with a beautiful light.

Just like Minister Fan, he had learned to talk to a piece of paper. However, his father spoke to a painting. He didn’t have that power, so he could only speak to a letter.

There were many things he couldn’t say to others. The only people he could talk to were not by his side. Thus, Fan Xian felt suffocated. For a while in the past, he had even treated Wang Qinian as his best audience. However, to prevent Lao Wang being terrified into a heart attack by his words, he eventually stopped the torture on Lao Wang’s state of mind.

Uncle Wu Zhu was not present, nor was Ruoruo, Wan’er, or Haitang. Who could he share all these words with? Where would he find support for his rebellious thoughts that would not tolerate this world?

Gradually, Fan Xian began to feel a kind of loneliness, the kind with meaning contained within.

He developed personal misgivings for the first time about his second life.

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