30. Landmine

I’m about to fall into self-loathing. It’s not just a matter of being weak to temptation. I think I’ve been too easily swayed. And I did it again with Tora-san…

It feels like our relationship has become physical only. I’m the enemy of women…

“Here, customer! I brought your ordered goods.”

The merchant’s voice brings me back to reality. Ah, yes, I was buying goods for our journey. I was waiting for the merchant to bring them, lost in thought.

“Here’s the money.”

“Thank you as always. Please come back and shop again.”

I pay the merchant and receive the goods. I’ve already received the preserved food, and I’ll receive the food for the journey at the time of departure.

I’ve paid for the goods, so they’ll be delivered to the inn today. I’ve bought various things, including holy water to repel monsters, disposable magic stones, and simple magic tools. Everyone has already bought what they need individually, so I only bought what the party needs.

When we leave the inn, I’ll have Sasha use the “Storage” magic to store the heavy items. It’s better for each person to carry some food individually. That way, we won’t struggle with food even if we get separated.

The “Storage” magic is convenient, but the number of items it can store is limited, which is a drawback. And Sasha has stored a large amount of alcohol, so there’s little space left.

She says she’ll drink it all quickly, but it’s hard to believe…

I spent more time than I thought. Although there’s still time until evening, I’ll be late for my meeting with Noel.

I should have refused Tsura’s advances more firmly. Tsura seemed satisfied, saying that being with someone you like and sharing a body is comfortable.

Is Tsura still at the inn? I need to prepare for my trip, so I parted ways with Tsura at the inn.

I finished my early lunch and took a bath. The innkeeper asked me if I was staying again, which was annoying. I felt uneasy about meeting Noel right after that.

After that, I went to the market and bought some goods, just like I always do. I’ve become quite familiar with these products.

I put my purchases in my room and headed to the church. I wonder if Tsura is still in my room? I won’t know unless I go see. I carried my heavy luggage, which seemed heavier than I thought, back to the inn.

“I think Noel-sama is in the church’s backyard.”

The person had a kind smile, which is rare for an elf. When I arrived at the church, the same elf priest from last time greeted me. It seemed like Noel was in the backyard again. I thanked the priest and headed to the backyard.

───When I returned to the inn, Tsura was no longer there. The innkeeper told me that Tsura had left, saying they needed to prepare for their trip. Since I’m in charge of food and other consumables, Tsura must have gone to get their armor and equipment. They probably went to pick them up.

I heard a knocking sound. It seemed to be coming from the direction where Noel was. The knocking continued, and I saw Noel hitting a tree with a hammer in the same backyard where we met last time.

Ah, Noel is cursing again. I can tell without them saying a word. It’s a bit hard to approach them.

The knocking continued, and Noel seemed to be saying something, but I couldn’t hear their voice. Honestly, just watching them made me feel like I was being cursed, so I decided to call out to them.

“Noel!”

They reacted to my voice and looked at me with a surprised expression, their blue eyes wide open. Then, they came running towards me with a small trot.

“What’s going on? Do you need something from me again?”

Déjà vu. I felt like I was reliving the same moment as last time. No, it’s different! Last time, there was only one straw doll, but now there are two!

Noel was holding the hammer when they came running towards me, but now they’re gripping the straw dolls in both hands. I wanted to tell them to put the dolls down, but I didn’t want to get scolded, so I kept quiet.

“Are you cursing again?”

“Yeah. Someone’s been bothering my things, so I’m cursing them. It’s annoying, and I won’t forgive them even if it’s just a cat.”

Noel’s grip on the straw dolls tightened, and I couldn’t say anything more. They seemed to be avoiding the part with the five-inch nail stuck in it, and their hand didn’t seem to be injured. I was worried when they gripped the dolls tightly.

“What do you need?”

Noel asked me. I wanted to ask them about their past. If my concerns are correct, Noel might not be a candidate for the demon king. I wouldn’t have to worry about them, and I could interact with them more easily. It’s a big deal if I can reduce the number of people I need to be cautious around.

I also need to tell Noel about the four heavenly kings, but I’ll save that for later, in case I need to change the subject.

“I have something to ask Noel.”

“What is it? I’ll answer if I can.”

“Did we meet in the past?”

I might have asked too directly. Noel’s eyebrows rose, and they seemed to be getting annoyed.

“Did you really forget?”

Their tone was harsh, and I could tell they were angry. It wouldn’t be good to make excuses.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember clearly.”

“Really, you don’t remember?”

This time, their voice was sorrowful. I could sense their sadness. I felt guilty, and words wouldn’t come out.

From Noel’s response, it’s clear that we met in the past. We met five years ago when the nobles were in an uproar, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. Was it 13 years ago when I met that elf girl?

“I’m sorry. Like I said, I don’t remember clearly.”

Noel bit their lip and looked down, their expression pained. They seemed to be holding back tears. I failed. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have thought it through before talking to Noel.

They muttered something while still looking down, but I couldn’t hear their words. They gripped the straw dolls tightly again, and I saw blood flowing from their white hand.

“Noel, you’re bleeding…”

I wanted to continue saying that I should treat their wound, but when I looked up and met Noel’s gaze, I lost my words.

His eyes, devoid of luster, were dull and dark, like muddy water. They were completely different from the bright, clear eyes I remembered. It was as if the light in his eyes had been extinguished. I couldn’t help but think of the young Noel I saw in my dreams, with the same dull eyes.

“Do you not remember the promise we made back then?”

His voice was small, as if he was trying to hold back his emotions.

If I said the wrong thing, it would lead to trouble. Looking at Noel in front of me, even I, a foolish person, could understand. It seemed I had stepped on a landmine.

Promise? I couldn’t remember. If I tried to make something up and asked Noel, it would be over. I thought it would be better to be honest.

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember.”

The straw doll fell to the ground with a soft thud.

As I turned my gaze to the fallen straw doll, Noel suddenly pounced on me, pinning me down with an unexpected strength.

I must have hit my head, because it hurt. And there was pressure on my stomach. It seemed I was being ridden by Noel. I finally understood the situation.

“Why?”

As I looked up, I saw Noel’s tears-filled eyes.

“Why can’t you remember?!”

Noel shouted, as if venting his emotions. I didn’t have any words to respond to him. Apologizing wouldn’t make him happy. He wasn’t waiting for such words.

Promise? What promise did I make? Why couldn’t I remember…? Something must have happened. I thought about it.

───The current Noel and the young Noel from the past overlapped in my mind.

Ah, I remembered. I was scared of her and tried to erase her from my memory. She was───.

“Why, why?!

I love you so much! More than anyone in the world! Why do you forget about me? You don’t remember the promise!

Am I the bad one? Are you angry because I didn’t notice you when we reunited and treated you coldly? If that’s the case, I’m sorry. I was wrong. I truly regret it.

The you back then and the you now are completely different. You were cute back then, but still a bit awkward. I didn’t imagine you would become so strong and cool. That’s my fault. I didn’t think I’d be able to meet you again as an adult. Do you remember the congratulations?

Or are you angry because I didn’t thank you for saving me 5 years ago?

I’m sorry. I didn’t notice. You wanted me to notice you, didn’t you? But I didn’t, and I treated you like any other person. I made you sad, didn’t I? I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?

You can hurt my body as much as you want until you’re satisfied. If that’s what it takes to forgive me, I’m fine with that. You can break my arm or twist my leg. Do whatever you want. Just don’t hit my face, okay? You said I’m pretty, didn’t you? I want you to praise me. I don’t care about anyone else. Only you are important to me. Only you can make me happy.

I know it’s not good to ask for forgiveness while I’m in a position to apologize. But I’m sincere. You saved my life. You protected my body. I want to dedicate myself to you. I don’t care about gods or anything else. You are the most important person in my heart. I’d die for you. Ah, no! I mustn’t die. You would be sad. I won’t leave you alone. We’ll be together forever. 13 years ago, our positions didn’t allow it, but now it’s okay!

You’ve become really strong, and I’ve become great. We can overcome anything as long as we’re together.

Are you worried about the demon king? Yeah, you’re kind, and you care about others. I know you don’t want to be happy alone. Let’s eliminate the dirty demons and build a happy family together. What about Darl? He’s got dirty demon blood in him. Even so, you said he’s an important friend, so I’ll tolerate him. But if he tries to propose to you, I’ll eliminate him right away!

Even if he’s a demon, he’s an important friend to you, isn’t he? I know. You’re kind, and you want to protect him. It’s okay. I won’t do anything you dislike. I’ll let him off. If you love me the most, I’ll let him do as he pleases. In exchange, I want you to love me more. I want to prove that I’m the one you love the most. If you do that, I’ll allow other women to be around.

You’re charming, and women are drawn to you like insects. That’s troublesome. Even that female cat is like that. She’s a wild beast, but she dares to touch what’s mine. You’re not the first one, but I won’t let her take precedence over me! Ah, I know it’s not you, so I’m relieved. I know that female cat is at fault. But I want you to hold me first! I want you to take my virginity! I want you to taste my body! I love you, I love you so much! I want us to melt into each other’s bodies!

Ah, but before that, I want you to kiss me. You did it! You did it 13 years ago, but it’s been a long time, so I want you to do it again! I want you to make me forget my loneliness!

Are you dissatisfied if it’s only you? Don’t worry. If you allow it, I’ll do it all. I’ll do anything you want. But I don’t want you to show your skin to other men. Your body is only for me. If you want it, I’ll do it, but I won’t allow that. Instead, I’ll serve you devotedly, so please forgive me.

I got sidetracked. What do you want to do with that female cat? As for me, I want to eliminate her… But what if we keep her as a pet? It might be okay to have one guard cat. If you want to treat her as a woman, I’ll acknowledge it. But I’m the number one!

If I’m not the number one in your heart, I won’t forgive you. Even if other women swarm around you, if you love me the most, I’ll tolerate it! If I’m not the number one, what should I do? You don’t want to hurt me, do you…? That’s right! If that’s the case, I’ll eliminate the other women! Then I’ll be the number one!

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I won’t doubt you. I’m just worried. You’re so charming, and that’s why I’m worried.

How many women approached you while I was away…? Even the party’s lineup is like that. The demon-like cat is okay, but Eclair is suspicious. She doesn’t talk, so I don’t know what she’s thinking, but the way she looks at you! She’s aiming for you!

The brave one. It’s better to leave the brave one’s bloodline. But it’s okay if it’s not you. I think it’s better not to increase it anymore. If you want, I’ll even take care of Eclair. Your will is the most important! Of course, I’ll also do it. It’s a promise.

What about Sasha? She’s always drinking, and I don’t like it, but she’s useful because she can use various magic. I acknowledge her talent. If she uses it for us, I’ll allow it.

That means there are four people besides me. My time with you will decrease. Are you lonely too? Then maybe it’s better to be just the two of us? It’s nice to have a paradise just for the two of us, without anyone bothering us.

Let’s have a child! A child between you and me! It’ll definitely be cute and talented. But if it’s a girl, it’ll be troublesome. I might get jealous of our daughter. Are you okay with that? Will you love me that much? If so, it’s okay.

I can tolerate having a daughter.

So, please love me. Say you like me. I love you too, so let’s love each other until we’re crazy about it!

───Help me.

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