25
“aaahhhhh!!!!!”
Textbooks fly through the air from my desk.
Some fall to the floor in parabolas, while others hit the wall with such force that they fall with a thud.
“Why! Whyyyy!”
Even seeing this doesn’t make me feel any better.
My anger just won’t side.
“This! Thisss!!”
My favorite author’s novel.
My favorite ballpoint pen.
The alarm clock I’ve loved since I was little.
One after another, they go flying.
I swing my arms wildly, and various objects make various sounds as they crash to the floor or break.
“Haa, haa…!”
“Miori? Miori, what’s wrong!? Did something happen!?”
Probably because I made such a loud noise.
My mother calls out from outside my room.
Her voice conveys her anxiety. Maybe she’s worried about me.
But, right now.
“Be quiet…”
“Huh?”
“Be quiet!! It’s nothing! It’s none of your business, Mom!”
I didn’t want her to talk to me.
I don’t have the luxury to pretend I’m okay even if I’m worried.
“M, Miori… You, that way of speaking…”
“Just leave me alone! I’m fine!”
When I said it forcefully again, I heard the sound of my mother leaving the front of my room.
Maybe she’s shocked.
Up until now, I’ve never spoken harshly to my mother.
I’ve always tried to be a good girl who doesn’t cause trouble for my parents.
Maybe she thinks I’m going through a rebellious phase, but I don’t care about that.
“Mom is bad too…”
Because she didn’t stop my aunt.
Compared to my current turmoil, it must seem like a small act of rebellion.
“That’s right. Everyone, everyone…”
Everyone is bad.
From Noble mtl dot com
Everything surrounding me right now is bad.
My aunt.
My family.
Mr. Kijima.
My group.
School.
Everything, everything, all of it is bad.
I never wanted it to be like this.
Everyone around me just did whatever they wanted, and before I knew it, I was like this.
“That’s why, Kou-kun…!”
I made the most important person to me make such a face.
I didn’t want it to be this way, but everyone around me just did whatever they wanted…!
“Hey, you!”
In my anger, I haphazardly grabbed whatever was left on the desk, intending to smash it on the floor—
—Is that really true?
A voice echoed from somewhere.
Suddenly, the world faded.
Everything flowed slowly, like in slow motion.
Huh?
—You really wanted to change, didn’t you?
That’s not true.
—A lie.
It’s not a lie.
—You hated your plain self, didn’t you? Thats why you wanted to change.
That’s…
—Yes. You wanted to change. You wanted him to like you more. You wanted to be with him. Isn’t that right?
…
Maybe.
—Yes, that’s how it was. I thought so. But that was just pretense, right?
What…?
—Yes, pretense. It wasn’t true, was it? The truth is, you just wanted to become cute. You didn’t mind being fawned over, did you?
That’s not true.
—It was the first time you’d ever been complimented for being cute. You could have just made up an excuse and declined when he asked you out, but you didn’t. The truth is, you were happy. You were happy to be complimented by someone else than Kou-kun.
That’s not true.
—The reason you’re taking it out on me now is because you don’t want to admit it to yourself. You know the real reason why things turned out this way, don’t you?
That’s not true!!!
—It is true.
That’s not true!!! I just wanted Kou-kun to, Kou-kun to…!
—Oh my, then what is that you’re holding in your hand?
…Huh?
—What is it that you’re trying to destroy?
Clang!
The sound of something breaking. The sound of something shattering.
The sound of something breaking echoed through the room.
“Ah…”
Color returned to the world.
Vivid hues were restored.
“Oh…”
I looked at the floor.
What I saw through my contact lenses was burned into my retinas.
“Oh, no…”
It was broken.
Shattered, completely ruined.
Shards of glass were scattered everywhere, and the contents had spilled out.
“Oh, no…”
It was what was used to be a picture frame.
A present he gave me for my birthday.
It had a picture of me and Kou-kun, smiling happily.
Looking at it once before going to sleep had become part of my daily routine.
I had broken it with my own hands.
“Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!”
That’s right.
I knew it all along.
My relationship with Kou-kun. I knew that I was the one who had destroyed it in the end.
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