I'm Shenji, what are you doing?
Chapter 135 Hello, Irisviel, I am Justina
Irisviel von Einzbern is the "Little Holy Grail" that is crucial to this Holy Grail War. This is something that everyone who knows something about the Holy Grail War system knows. But within the Einzbern family, there is a difference between Irisviel and the "Little Holy Grail".
The "Little Holy Grail" is Irisviel's body that contains the crystallization of alchemy that has been passed down by the Einzbern family for more than 2,000 years. Irisviel's personality is called the "Guardian of the Holy Grail", and her mission is to preserve and transport the "Little Holy Grail".
In the last Holy Grail War, the Einzbern camp not only lost in the Servant battle, but the most important "Little Holy Grail" was also destroyed in the melee. Because the "Little Holy Grail" was lost before the winner was decided, the Third Holy Grail War ended in futility.
Because of this failure, the head of the family, Yahad, decided to install a humanoid shell with self-management capabilities on this "Little Holy Grail", giving the "Little Holy Grail" the survival instinct, allowing it to automatically avoid various dangers and achieve the goal of achieving the Holy Grail. The purpose is to create a personality called "Irisviel".
As the Holy Grail War progresses, the "Little Holy Grail" begins to function as it should, and begins to suppress the redundant outer shells. Just like a computer with insufficient memory, in order to ensure the operation of important programs, the memory space occupied by unnecessary programs will be compressed.
What is manifested in Irisviel is that human beings' functions are getting weaker and weaker, while the functions of the "Little Holy Grail" are getting stronger and stronger.
Every time a new servant is eliminated, Irisviel's body becomes weaker. After Caster's death, Irisviel began to feel weak and unable to hold ordinary things such as water glasses and mobile phones. After Lancer's death, Irisviel had difficulty even walking. If there was "Avalon" to protect her, her condition might be better. But after returning "Avalon" to Saber, she had to lie dormant for a long time in the designated technique.
When Irisviel opened her eyes next time, the orange-red sunset was already shining through the small lighting window of the warehouse.
The disconnection of consciousness feels as if the entire day today does not exist at all. Irisviel's sleep was so deep. This body has gradually lost its function, and the physical dormancy is closer to a state of suspended animation than sleep.
My physical condition has improved a lot, and it seems that rest has some effect. Although I still can't stand up, I can at least talk to people without any hindrance.
Looking to the side, Kuu Maiya was as quiet as a shadow portrait, sitting motionless in the corner of the wall. The position and posture were exactly the same as when Irisviel was last seen. But her eyes that were always lowered were as sharp as an unsheathed blade. She was alert and focused on something in the air.
Although she felt extremely trustworthy, she didn't look like a living human being, but more like a familiar or a robot. Even Irisviel couldn't help but feel a sense of fear. Irisviel could not imagine what kind of rigorous training and strong mental strength it took to maintain such amazing concentration.
With a bit of awe, Irisviel suddenly thought that this woman named Kuu Maiya might be a more thorough expression of the way of life he desired than Emiya Kiritsugu himself.
"——Miss Maiya."
He called out softly in a voice that sounded like a sigh.
Maiya looked at Irisviel quickly and quietly, like a hound that heard a dog whistle.
Irisviel felt a little sorry, she just wanted to have a casual chat with Maiya.
"Why are you fighting for Kiritsugu?"
"…because I have nothing else."
I know that the person I am protecting does not feel uncomfortable or inconvenient in any way, and just wants to talk. Maiya calmed down a little, thought for a while and then answered.
"I can't remember anything about my family, not even my own name. The name Kuu Maiya was the name on the first fake passport Kiritsugu made for me."
"--Huh?"
Seeing Irisviel's surprised expression, Maiya smiled slightly. For her who is absolutely indifferent to emotions and anger, this is her greatest display of friendliness.
"I only remember that it was a very poor country with no hope and no future. It could only obtain food for survival by hating each other and plundering each other. There were always endless wars, and even the army could not be maintained. There is no money, but the war has never stopped... I don’t know who came up with an idea. Instead of recruiting soldiers for training, it would be faster and cheaper to capture children and let them go to the battlefield with guns. "
"..."
"Aim at the enemy and pull the trigger. Keep only these functions and discard everything else... Children who can't do it will die earlier than those who can. In order to extend their lives, they can only keep killing. So I no longer I remember what happened before I picked up the gun, and I lived like this mechanically until I met Kiritsugu."
Maiya said, looking down at her hands. The slender fingers do not have the softness that is unique to women, but are only as sharp as a murder weapon.
"My human heart is dead, and only the external container is still active, maintaining the functions I was familiar with before. That is my 'life'. The person who took this life is Kiritsugu, so I can let him Use…that’s why I’m here.”
Although she was vaguely aware that Maiya had a tragic past, Irisviel did not expect that Maiya's life experience would be so heavy.
Irisviel was silent and speechless. To avoid the awkward situation, Maiya spoke.
"Compared to me, madam, your enthusiasm surprises me even more."
"--Huh?"
Irisviel, who had never expected Maiya to say such a thing, couldn't help but be surprised.
"You have been locked up in a closed castle, isolated from the world, and yet you are willing to fight risklessly for Kiritsugu's ideal of changing the world."
"I……"
Maiya’s words made Irisviel reflect on herself again.
Her husband, Emiya Kiritsugu, acted based on the ideal of "saving the world." After seeing with my own eyes how he risked his life in pursuit of the Holy Grail, can I still say that I have the exact same dream as him?
"——Yes. Actually, I don't really understand Kiritsugu's ideals."
That's right. the answer is negative.
"In the end, I just pretended to understand. Maybe I just wanted to be with the person I loved. As you said, I didn't understand the world that Kiritsugu wanted to change at all. My ideal was just to change Kiritsugu. He used his ideals to learn and sell them now."
"……is that so?"
"Yes, but you can't tell Kiritsugu."
For Irisviel, this was an incredible feeling. She never expected that there would be someone who could easily let her express her inner thoughts that she could never express in front of her husband.
"I always told Kiritsugu that he was right, that his ideals were worthy enough for me to devote my life to. I always pretended that I could understand her. Rather than simply dying for her husband, a woman who has the same ideals as her husband , Women who die for their ideals will not become a burden to Kiritsugu, right?"
"I see."
This feeling of dependence is different from the love for Kiritsugu and the trust in Saber. Could this feeling that Irisviel experienced for the first time be the feeling called "friendship"?
"But madam, don't you have any wishes of your own?"
Hearing Maiya's second question, Irisviel couldn't help but recall the battle in the forest with Maiya. At that time, she felt the fighting spirit in front of the overwhelmingly powerful presence of Kotomine Kirei. , where did it come from?
"Wish... no, I do have a wish. I hope that Kiritsugu and Saber will win the final victory, and I hope that they will get the Holy Grail."
This also represents the death of Irisviel and the farewell to Kiritsugu.
Even so, this desire was the source of the courage that surged in Irisviel's heart.
"Is this... the so-called achievement of the third magic, Einzbern's long-cherished wish?"
"No, it doesn't matter even if we don't reach Justeza's Great Holy Grail. My hope is that there will never be a war. If the structure of the world changes according to Kiritsugu's wishes and all battles end, the war to pursue the Holy Grail here in Fuyuki It should be no exception. I hope that this fourth battle will be the last Holy Grail War, and I hope that I will be the last one to sacrifice myself as the container of the Holy Grail."
At this point, Maiya finally understood the meaning behind Irisviel's words.
"Is it for Miss?"
"Yes."
Illyasviel von Einzbern. A product of alchemy that was fertilized by a magician inside the mother of a homunculus. Although Maiya has never met Illya in person, she has heard about her.
"I heard that according to the Great Master's plan, the 'Guardian of the Holy Grail' after me will become an artificial life form with more refined functions. Not only will the Holy Grail be hidden in the body, but a newly added magic circuit will be installed in it. In addition to the physical body, let the physical body itself function as the 'Holy Grail Container'. The Great Master had already predicted that the "Fifth War" might occur before the Fourth War began, so he allowed me to give birth to Illya. . If Kiritsugu and I fail, then the child will be used as the experimental platform for the 'Heavenly Clothes', for the most important battle sixty years from now."
The calm tone of voice now began to have some tenderness.
This is proof that Irisviel is definitely not just living as a doll. She has a heart, loves others, smiles when she is happy and sheds tears when she laments. Irisviel, like most people, has this ordinary warmth in her heart.
"While holding the child and breastfeeding her, I knew very well in my heart that the child would not escape the fate of becoming a container in the end. A mother must give up her dearest child in this way. How can you feel like this? understood?"
"..."
Maiya was silent, carefully understanding the emotions shown by Irisviel.
"But this is the fate that the artificial life forms of the Einzbern family are forced to bear. That child, and my granddaughter as well, everyone will experience this pain when they give birth to a daughter. This chain will It continues until the moment Fuyuki's Holy Grail arrives. So I hope that I am the last one, and I want to use my own body to end Einzbern's obsession. If this wish can be realized, my daughter can escape her fate. , that child can live a life that has nothing to do with the Holy Grail and end his life as a human being."
"Is this the feeling of being a mother..."
When Maiya asked this, Irisviel realized that she had revealed too much about her inner feelings just now, so she smiled sheepishly.
"Maybe so. It may be hard for you to understand, Maiya."
"It's not that difficult. I'm a mother too."
"--Huh?"
This sentence was so unexpected that Irisviel wondered if her ears had heard it wrong.
Maiya softened her tone slightly as if she was apologizing for scaring Irisviel.
"I actually have experience in pregnancy and childbirth, although it can be said to be just an accident."
"...Have you ever been married?"
"No, I don't even know who my father is. On the battlefield, all our female soldiers were fucked by male soldiers every night in the barracks. I don't know when... Anyway, I became pregnant shortly after menarche. . I can’t even name the child, and I don’t know if he is still alive now. If he is not dead yet, then the child must be continuing to kill on the battlefield. Children there have been going to the battlefield with guns since they were five years old. .”
"how so……"
The past described by the woman who had served as a boy soldier was so miserable that it deeply shocked Irisviel’s untainted heart.
"Are you surprised? But this kind of thing is definitely nothing new in today's world. Today's terrorist organizations and guerrillas all know the benefits of using young soldiers. Because there are early success stories like mine, now The number of children who have had the same experience as me has not only not decreased, but has increased in number."
Maiya said calmly, her eyes getting colder and colder. There was no trace of anger or sadness in her tone. The scene she recalled was probably filled with endless despair that had nothing to do with those living feelings.
"Madam, maybe for you, the world you saw for the first time is very beautiful, and you envy the happy people living in this world. But for me, I am very envious of growing up in that castle. You, because you don’t have to see the ugliness and horror of this world.”
Although Maiya's emotion was not a complaint, when she expressed these thoughts, it was inevitable that she meant to blame Irisviel for her naivety.
Maiya herself may have noticed this later, shaking her head as if to deny what she had said before, and finishing with more firm words.
"If this kind of world can really change...if it is for Kiritsugu who fulfills this wish...it doesn't matter how I use my life."
Nothing but fighting. This is how Maiya describes herself. There was no exaggeration in her words. There were no ideals or long-cherished wishes in her heart, as if it was like burned-out scorched earth, only a void of nothingness.
Although her inner world is completely opposite to Kiritsugu's, as a warrior, the two are very similar. This contradiction made Irisviel feel sore in her chest. Maiya's existence reminds Kiritsugu and also sets an example for him. It is precisely because of her that Kiritsugu can seal off his own contradictions and become a ruthless hunting machine.
"After Kiritsugu realizes his ideal, what are you going to do...?"
Irisviel's question made Maiya's eyes wander for the first time in confusion.
"I never thought I could survive. Even if I did save my life, my life would be meaningless. The world changed because of Kiritsugu must be a place that doesn't need me."
There is no place for people who only know how to survive in the flames of war in a world where war has been completely eradicated. For Maiya, this negative thought was a natural conclusion.
This was so sad and unacceptable that Irisviel couldn't help but blurt it out.
"That's not the case. Miss Maiya, you still have things you must do after the war is over."
"..."
Faced with the doubtful eyes of the female warrior, Irisviel said firmly.
"You have to find your family and your own name and the whereabouts of your children. These are things that should not be forgotten. These are things that should be remembered."
"is that so……"
Contrary to Irisviel's enthusiasm, Maiya's tone was a little questioning, still cold.
"If the era of peace really comes, the memories of people like me will be nothing more than a nightmare, which will only tear open the healed wounds and bring pain. This will only bring trouble to the ideal world that rarely comes. The seeds of hatred.”
"That's not the case. Because your life is not a dream, but a fact that really happened. The peace created by burying all this in darkness is a sinful deception. A truly peaceful world does not simply forget the past. Those pains are to prevent ourselves from repeating the same mistakes. Only by seriously mourning the pain and sacrifices of the past can we create a peaceful new world."
"..."
Maiya stared at Irisviel silently, and after a while, her face became cheerful.
"You should have said these words to Kiritsugu earlier. Maybe he would have been better off than he is now."
Maiya's thoughts bring joy and loneliness to Irisviel at the same time. As she gradually weakens, she may never have the chance to talk to her husband again.
"——Then Miss Maiya, please convey these words to him and say that I said them..."
"No, you should say this yourself."
Similar voices, accompanied by golden and white spiritual light, condensed into a figure that was almost exactly the same as Irisviel.
"Hello, Irisviel von Einzbern, I am Justeza, Justeza Ritzleich von Einzbern, your prototype——"
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