I'm really immortal

As early as ten years ago, the "spoof" culture was still in the ascendant on the Internet. Making complaints and making jokes was more deliberate, a bit like the current Hong Kong and Taiwan comedy films... Of course, many of them now use "humor" and "funny" as their starting point. Cultural products still feel like this.

At that time, the alpaca became a well-known "grass mud horse", and several other mythical beasts were also such products of Internet culture.

After the popularity of alpacas increased, there were vague news about people raising alpacas as pets. Now, although this kind of pet is not seen everywhere, it is not rare.

Zhu Juntang’s alpaca comes from Zhu’s camel hair industrial park in the Andes Mountains, which is the origin of alpacas. Long Aotian is obviously a lucky person to be Zhu Juntang’s pet.

Speaking of alpacas, it is necessary to popularize the difference between alpacas and llamas. Alpacas belong to the order Artiodactylum, family Camelidae, family Alpaca, genus Alpaca, and are generally called small alpacas, while llamas are large alpacas. The camel is a species of the genus Alpaca of the family Camelidae of the order Artiodactylus.

It is very dangerous to think that alpacas are camels and llamas are sheep. After all, some studies have shown that those who are abducted by aliens must answer the insidious trap question of who is a camel and which is a sheep, alpaca or llama.

"It's so cute. I want to take a photo with it." An Nuan saw Long Aotian tilting his head, so he tilted his head to look at it, and imitated Long Aotian's squinting expression.

An Nuan often finds it hard to resist such funny and cute things, such as her favorite funny pillow.

"It's okay to take a photo, but don't get too close and don't touch it. It'll be fine." Zhu Juntang also squinted his eyes and raised the corners of his mouth slightly, "Don't you think it looks like Liu Changan?"

An Nuan laughed out loud. I really don't know what Zhu Juntang was thinking. Her boyfriend is not a young hottie who relies on makeup, beauty, hairstyle and niche aesthetics. He is an absolute male god, especially It's the temperament...eh?

An Nuan took a closer look. After the alpaca turned its head to look at her, it made no other movements. The ends of the golden hair on its head trembled slightly in the morning breeze. The feeling of tranquility and the plain eyes stood still. Calm temperament...

"It really feels like Liu Changan... Hahaha..." Han Zhizhi pushed An Nuan and laughed wildly.

Zhu Juntang was very satisfied with their reaction. She took a photo of Liu Changan a while ago and asked people to find pets that looked like Liu Changan. However, there was really no animal that looked like Liu Changan, but she found one with a temperament that was somewhat similar to Liu Changan. Similar alpaca.

This is also the reason why Zhu Juntang named the alpaca Long Aotian. After all, it would be too dangerous to call him "Master". He also has Qin Yanan by his side. Zhongqing, a licking dog and vixen like Liu Changan, can't be sure. When did he betray Zhu Juntang?

But it's no problem to call him Long Aotian. It reflects Liu Changan, just like the urban soldier king and the campus young man.

Is not it? A teacher from a wealthy family like Qin Yanan, a beautiful school beauty like An Nuan, a gentle and virtuous young woman neighbor... are all standard features.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi enthusiastically took photos with the alpaca. An Nuan also posted a photo of her and Liu Changan and the alpaca together.

After taking the photo, Zhu Juntang took out a rocket apple from the front pocket of her skirt, fed it to Long Aotian, and patted its neck. The alpaca was not as tall as a llama, so it was easy for Zhu Juntang to pet it.

Zhu Juntang glanced at An Nuan's long legs. This Baolong Center Building No. 1 would probably have no problem touching the head of an alpaca that is more than two meters tall. With such long legs, it is longer than an alpaca. This works, it has no other meaning.

"There's nothing wrong with you touching it?" Han Zhizhi looked at Zhu Juntang touching the alpaca with envy. She wanted to touch it too. Who wouldn't want to touch and play with such a fluffy little animal? But she was even more afraid of being spat on.

"Of course she raised it herself. How long have you raised it?" An Nuan was also envious. She also wanted to touch it. Who wouldn't want to touch and play with a fluffy little animal when they see it?

"I haven't kept them for long. I only like to play with pets. I don't like raising pets. They will urinate and defecate casually. My pets were raised by others and given to me. However, I have been close to animals since I was a child. Even if I don't raise them well, Yes, they behave well in my hands." Zhu Juntang said habitually.

She is a fairy. Except for extraordinary creatures like Liu Changan, don't all ordinary humans and small animals have to bow before her and prostrate themselves under her beautiful fairy skirt?

"Do you still lack pets? I don't mind them peeing and defecating casually. Do you still have pets to keep?" Han Zhizhi said positively.

Zhu Juntang frowned slightly, thought for a moment, and was about to speak. An Nuan saw that she was serious and quickly explained: "Miss Zhu, she was joking. She will start school soon, and a hamster she raised is sick. Give rat poison to hamsters.”

"That's my classmate!" Han Zhizhi explained dissatisfiedly.

"I have a classmate and I have a friend, don't they all mean the same thing?" An Nuan said with a smile.

"The hamster is sick, what's the problem if you feed it rat poison?" Zhu Juntang looked at An Nuan doubtfully, "If the rat is sick and doesn't eat rat poison, what will it eat? Or is the hamster not a rat?"

Han Zhizhi and An Nuan looked at Zhu Juntang, stunned for a moment, and realized that she was serious.

It's normal to think about it. Judging from Zhu Juntang's living environment, if she has seen rats, she is considered well-informed, and she may not have been exposed to relevant knowledge points such as "removing the four pests", "plague", etc.

"Nothing, I want to raise a little alpaca." An Nuan looked down at the alpaca. This one was a bit too big. Small ones are easier to raise and cuter. "Will your alpaca give birth to babies?" ?”

Just like many people’s cats and dogs at home are pregnant, and friends come to reserve puppies.

"It's a fairy alpaca. Fairy alpacas don't give birth to babies." Zhu Juntang shook his head, "But I know there are specially bred small alpacas. If you want one, I'll have one sent over."

"Ah... thank you. If I really want to keep one, I actually don't have the energy or time." An Nuan said quickly, unless she and Liu Changan get married in the future, then she can raise one... If she wants to keep a pet now, Professor Liu will take her friend I used the knowledge accumulated in the circle to reprimand An Nuan, what about Toxoplasma gondii, parasites, pets eating children and so on.

Professor Liu doesn’t care whether other people’s homes have pets or not. He also thinks other people’s pets are cute, but keeping them in his own home is not allowed.

The corners of Zhu Juntang's mouth turned up slightly. Ordinary people are like this. She always likes this, likes that, wants this and that, but often when she really has a chance to get what she wants, she will look forward and backward, with a lot of worries. From a simple Wants turn into realistic considerations, and the result is often giving up those likes and interests.

It is precisely because of this that the protagonists in fairy tales are often princesses and princes, or one of them is a princess or a prince. At least someone must be able to defeat that reality and have enough capital to maintain the fairy tale.

The stories of ordinary people are much more realistic, which is the source of many urban realistic emotional dramas today, while fairy tales have become idol dramas for the rich and overbearing CEOs.

Zhu Juntang was just about to use this as a starting point to comment deeply on the love between An Nuan and Liu Changan, and secretly help Qin Yanan and Bai Hui, but suddenly he felt that his little socks and skirt were trembling with fear, and his buttocks were aching. Still pursed her lips and gave up commenting.

"Would you feel uncomfortable if you opened your mouth and others didn't accept it?" An Nuan saw Zhu Juntang's expression of constipation and asked after hesitation, although ordinary people should not have such strange discomfort, but She is Zhu Juntang, so maybe she can.

"Oh Nope."

An Nuan smiled, did she have some prejudice against Zhu Juntang? In fact, she is not the kind of person who is particularly difficult to contact.

At this time, two girls walked this way, but were blocked by a strong man in a black suit. It turned out that they saw An Nuan and Han Zhizhi taking a photo with the alpaca, and they also wanted to take a photo.

An Nuan then noticed that just now she only saw Zhu Juntang standing here holding an alpaca. Under the towering skyscrapers and in front of the luxurious brand's gorgeous store, she felt a little lonely. In fact, this kind of loneliness was her. Your own isolation layer.

Around Zhu Juntang, there were seven or eight men and women in suits and uniforms, who seemed to be just walking around and looking around with nothing to do. However, as long as anyone tried to approach Zhu Juntang, they would be blocked or persuaded to leave.

"Han Zhizhi!"

At this time, a tall and thin young man wearing black-rimmed glasses who looked a lot like "Lehom Wang of the Gardening Industry" in "The Richest Man in Xihong City" ran over.

It looked like he was an acquaintance of his eldest lady's friend, and the strong man in a suit who looked like a bread man did not stop him.

"Han Zhizhi, didn't you say you were not free today?" The young man stood in front of Han Zhizhi, took a few breaths, put his hands in his pockets, and said with a half-smile.

"Yes, I want to go shopping with my little sister." Han Zhizhi pointed at An Nuan and said.

An Nuan understood that this was Han Zhizhi's missing blind date... It wasn't actually a pigeon. After all, it was just Professor Ling's arrangement. Han Zhizhi just disagreed and found a reason to tell the boy named Xu Che that they couldn't meet today. .

Xu Che's eyes fell on An Nuan, and he was attracted by the fairy spirit next to him. His eyes swept back and forth between An Nuan and Zhu Juntang. It was a bit unbelievable that Han Zhizhi's friends were all such goddesses.

The tall girl still has a girlish look between her brows, and her gentle mouth and watery eyes also carry a touching charm. She wears pencil pants that show off her legs, and she obviously cares about her legs. She is very confident in her legs and figure. Her hip line looks like two small volleyballs stuffed into her pants. Her waist and upper body are straight and straight, and her shoulders are not slumped like many tall girls who have not received professional body training. Draw back.

Xu Che has never seen a girl with such a perfect combination of appearance and figure. She is wearing a pink jacket with bunny ears. She is fluffy and cute, and it seems that as soon as she looks back, she will be remembered countless times in her dreams. This picture.

Another shorter girl is wearing a complicated and luxurious princess dress, which looks like a classical palace dress, but also combines the style of modern ACG culture. A gauze with a fine hollow pattern covers the skirt, and there are sparkling hairs below the skirt. The bright gems, the dazzling beauty under the morning light, seemed to be the stars of the universe hidden under her skirt, and the white stockings exuded an eye-catching light of justice.

For a moment, Xu Che even had the urge to kneel in front of her, press his hands on the ground, and lean forward so that he could kiss her expensive ostrich leather princess shoes and smell them carefully. The scent of leather and stockings.

"If you don't have time, then you don't have time. Anyway, it's just my parents who are worrying about it. I can see that you don't expect much from me. In fact, I am the same." Xu Che stretched his waist. This kind of rhetoric can not only save his own face, but also This can prevent the two beautiful girls in front of him from preconceptions that he and Han Zhizhi have an ambiguous relationship, and thus keep a distance from him.

"That's good." Han Zhizhi was not surprised. She had An Nuan and Zhu Juntang by her side. If Xu Che turned a blind eye to them, he would have to date her. Even if Han Zhizhi would not agree, at least she would look at him with admiration... This person has both He is blind, but it does not affect his daily life at all.

"Let me meet you. My name is Xu Che, and I am a family friend of Han Zhizhi's family." Xu Che asked generously to get to know him.

Xu Che knows very well that many times he hides his thoughts, carefully tests or uses small tricks, which often annoys people. It is better to openly say that he wants to make friends. As long as he is sincere and polite, normal people will not refuse. .

"Hello, I'm An Nuan." An Nuan is a normal person. It doesn't matter if he reveals his name. But in fact, it's just for Han Zhizhi's sake... An Nuan knows that "family friends" must have a lot of water. If they are really close, " "A family friend" and a person of the same age, how could An Nuan not know him? She and Han Zhizhi basically never separated before college.

After hearing An Nuan's name, Xu Che smiled slightly. He didn't look like he was focusing all his attention on An Nuan and immediately went to chat with An Nuan. Instead, he looked expectantly like he was making friends normally. Looking at Zhujuntang.

"What are you looking at me for?" Zhu Juntang frowned. She is a fairy, aloof, and has long been used to being the center of attention. She doesn't mind if others peek at her from a distance when walking on the street, but a stranger walks in Coming up to her and staring at her was obviously unacceptable.

Zhu Juntang showed a very high emotional intelligence at this time, because she knew how to take An Nuan and Han Zhizhi's face into account, so she did not snap her fingers, but just reminded them to pay attention.

"I...I just want to know your name." After Xu Che was stunned for a moment, he still expressed his expectations openly.

Zhu Juntang turned his head and continued to touch his alpaca. He wanted to know her name, which was his business. Zhu Juntang had no reason or need to cooperate in telling her.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi suppressed laughter because they couldn't help but think of Wu Fan's experience at the same time. They were just not familiar with Xu Che, so there was no need to remind them.

What's more, Xu Che seems to just want to make friends and get to know each other... There is no need to preconception that Xu Che wants to chat up Zhujuntang. Of course, there is no need to tell Xu Che that chatting up Zhujuntang is a very dangerous thing. .

Xu Che was a little embarrassed. He noticed Zhu Juntang's alpaca, reached out and touched the alpaca's neck, and continued to talk: "Is this your pet?"

"I didn't raise him, could it be your mother?" Zhu Juntang watched Xu Che touch the alpaca's neck. Why do these people always talk nonsense? If Liu Changan were here, he would definitely say: Look, after this alpaca was touched, , inciting its ears and making a crackling sound with its tongue, which is a warning that it is about to spit.

Xu Che was a little speechless and could only continue stroking the alpaca's neck, "It's rare to see someone keeping something like this as a pet."

Long Aotian continued to twitch his ears and crackle his tongue. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore and sprayed a stream of steaming green liquid towards Xu Che.

It was like holding in diarrhea for a long time, then finally sitting on the toilet and ejaculating explosively.

"Ah...I...shit..." Xu Che was sprayed in the face and then fell to the ground. This feeling was really no different from being vomited in the face by a drunkard.

Xu Che felt that there were all those things in his mouth, nose, eyes, and ears. He opened his mouth slightly, tasted the taste on the tip of his tongue, and immediately started vomiting while pressing his neck.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi backed away again and again, gloating in surprise. They originally thought it was unwise for Chao Zhujuntang to strike up a conversation, but they didn't expect the disaster to come so quickly.

Zhu Juntang frowned and had no choice but to snap his fingers and order someone to come over and deal with the scene, then led Long Aotian to the side.

"Is...are these liquids poisonous?" Han Zhizhi asked with kind-hearted concern.

"It's not poisonous. If he is poisoned, are you going to feed him rat poison?" Zhu Juntang shook his head. Although the old man always said that Zhu Juntang has no knowledge and common sense, it is obvious that compared with ordinary girls, he has less knowledge. It's outstanding.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi laughed again. The embarrassed Xu Che and the rat poison scenes made people unable to control their expressions.

At this time, a young woman with a Korean-style semi-permanent face came over. She was holding a red round stick in her hand. Behind her was a cat-walking car, with a round orange cat lying safely on the car. cat.

She held the round stick in her hand and swung it forward, and the cat-walking car without a rope moved forward automatically. When she held it in her hand without moving, the cat-walking car stopped not far behind her. live.

It was obvious that this was a Bluetooth-controlled smart cat walking car. Seeing her standing behind Zhu Juntang, An Nuan understood that this was Zhu Juntang's cat and cat owner.

"My cat is called Saint, and I have a dog called Master." Zhu Juntang said to An Nuan.

"Oh." An Nuan felt that if she had a cat, it might call it "Sliding Shovel."

"I recently learned a curse word." Zhu Juntang looked serious, without revealing any flaws. His beautiful nose wrinkled, and his eyes narrowed again, making him look narrow and charming, "It's a dog... day..."

"This is a daily street curse that is used all over the country. We rarely use it here." Zhu Juntang's tone seemed to be simply telling others that she had learned this word. An Nuan did not feel that she was swearing.

"Yes." Zhu Juntang turned back to Jin Xiaomei and said, "After you walk the saint, take the door owner for a run. Remember to put a shock collar on the door owner to prevent you from losing control of it."

The owner of the door is a large dog with super strength. Except for strong women, ordinary women can't hold it back when it tries to break away or goes crazy when something suddenly attracts its attention.

"Okay, Miss Third..." Jin Xiaomei continued to walk the saint.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi watched Jin Xiaomei leave. They didn't know the meaning of walking the cat like this... but the cat really enjoyed it.

"Are you here for shopping?" Zhu Juntang was suddenly in a good mood and asked enthusiastically while holding her alpaca.

"Yeah, I want to buy a bag." Han Zhizhi nodded.

"Oh, I am a super VIP customer of all the counters in this mall. Maybe I can help you get a little discount." Zhu Juntang led the alpaca to the mall.

An Nuan and Han Zhizhi hurriedly followed, even if it was a small discount... Zhu Juntang is really a down-to-earth young lady.

——

BIG ZHANGJIE, QIU YUEPIAO (Because I am worried about everyone’s cultural level, I only use one English word. This will not only show that I am educated, but will not prevent me from asking for monthly votes)