I'm really immortal

In Zhujuntang's kitchen, Liu Changan used the handy tools to deal with the giant crab.

This kind of crab seems to be a giant, but it is a serious crab like the king crab, mansion crab, swimming crab, etc. Except for the longer legs, the internal structure is basically the same. They can be stabbed to death, then the cover is removed and the gills are removed, and they are chopped randomly. Lose.

Liu Changan was about to put some of the crab legs in a steamer and partially grill them with charcoal, but found that a pair of the longest crab legs were missing.

Zhou Dongdong's shouting came from behind. Looking back, he found that she was waving the pair of crab legs around, thinking she was very majestic.

"Have you become the Crab General again?" Liu Changan asked.

Zhou Dongdong nodded repeatedly, swung the crab legs around, stumbled and fell to the ground. In order not to lose the majesty of the Crab General, he quickly got up, "Sister Xiaotang said that she is the Dragon King and can make me a shrimp... ...shrimps, crabs, soldiers and so on!”

"Shrimp soldiers and crab generals." Liu Changan took the opportunity to sow discord between the two stupid children. "The shrimp soldiers and crab generals are not powerful at all, which shows that she does not really want to make you a general. And what kind of dragon king is she?"

The bleating dragon is definitely not qualified to become the Dragon King. Just like she can't be the master of the sect with Liu Changan around, she can't become the Dragon King because of his presence.

"I'm very powerful! Do you dare to compete with me..." Zhou Dongdong looked at the crab legs in his hand and believed in himself. And he decided that he was so majestic that if he was defeated later, he would not roll around on the ground howling.

Liu Changan frowned. Zhou Dongdong was a little floaty today, but the question is, how can she float at her weight? It’s true that there are no wonders in this world.

Liu Changan liked to attack Zhou Shuling the most. Zhou Dongdong and Shangguan Tandan became more confident, so they picked up two crab legs, rushed over and beat the Crab General to death. While she was lying on the floor in defeat and howling, He captured her weapons and put them in a steamer, turning the heat to low.

Zhou Dongdong lay on the ground for a while, gradually accepting the fact that he was defeated by Brother Chang'an again. He got up and wiped his nose and walked to the kitchen counter. He grabbed the edge with both hands and stood on tiptoe, looking left and right. He found that Brother Chang'an seemed to be Want to make crab legs delicious.

"Sun Wukong will eat the golden cudgel when he is hungry." Zhou Dongdong explained that he would also eat the weapon later, and there was no problem.

"Then after Sun Wukong eats the golden cudgel, what should he do if he encounters monsters?" Liu Changan asked with concern. He was not familiar with Sun Wukong, and he was not a child Sun Wukong, so naturally he didn't know how to deal with these situations.

"He can pull it out of his ass."

"After he beats the monster, if he gets hungry again, will he eat the golden cudgel that he pulled out of his butt?"

"Sun Wukong doesn't eat shit!"

"I didn't say he ate it."

"Then when are we going to eat that fish that smells like shit again?"

"The mandarin fish is getting fat now. I'll make it for you to eat some other time."

Zhou Dongdong nodded, reached out to hug his thigh and leaned against him, looking up at Brother Chang'an blankly. In fact, Zhou Dongdong's favorite hero was not Sun Wukong, but him.

Because if one day Zhou Dongdong is captured by a monster, Sun Wukong may not come to rescue Zhou Dongdong, but brother Chang'an will definitely.

…

…

After eating the giant claw crabs and other seafood caught by the seamen in the evening, Liu Changan took Zhou Dongdong back under his arm.

After Zhou Shuling closed the shop, she joined everyone. Liu Changan packed her baked crab legs with egg yolk and some crab meat mixed with crab paste. They were packed in a beautiful white porcelain lunch box with gold and jade tops. It looked very appetizing.

"After playing enough and eating enough, Yan Qingcheng went to make up lessons for Zhu Juntang. Even Zhu Juntang has to make up lessons until midnight today. I also plan to give you a test to stimulate your brain cells." Liu Changan said to these people who are not very good at thinking, or who don't like to use their brains.

Qin Yanan is also here. It is said that he will accompany Shangguan Dandan to chat about history and culture tonight... Liu Changan always feels that this is not the case, but it is impossible to drive her away, right?

So Qin Yanan belongs to the type who plays a pregnant woman whose brain is abnormal, and she also needs to stimulate the normal operation of brain cells.

"Let's eat roasted brains later!" Zhou Dongdong tilted his head and said expectantly under Liu Changan's armpit. Previously, he thought he was going to eat roasted brains, or roasted children's brains. Later, brother Changan said Zhou Dongdong had no brain, so Zhou Dongdong felt relieved and no longer feared that his brain would be roasted and eaten by others.

"Roast your brains and eat them." Liu Changan was not surprised that Zhou Dongdong understood the irrelevant meaning from his words. He just reached out and touched her belly, very suspicious of Zhou Dongdong's The brain grows in the stomach, so it is natural to understand the meaning related to "eating" from various conversations.

"Do I have a brain again?"

"Silly boy, of course you have a brain, you just can't use it very well." Zhou Shuling said angrily. Fortunately, her mother's brain is better and she can take care of her until she grows up. It doesn't matter even if she is a little stupid.

Fools are blessed... Zhou Shuling glanced at Liu Changan and raised the corners of her mouth slightly. She summed up this principle of life from Zhou Dongdong's encounter with Liu Changan.

"It's easy! It's easy! It's easy!"

"Hurry up and come up with the questions." Qin Yanan urged, she also wanted to test her brainpower.

As the saying goes, a pregnancy makes a person stupid for three years. This sentence has a certain factual basis. What Qin Yanan is worried about is that her pregnancy process is unusual, so she must pay special attention to supplementing her nutrition so that the normal operation of the brain can be fully powered, otherwise It is very likely that pregnant women will consume more brain power than the average pregnant woman, resulting in a situation like being pregnant for thirty years.

Thirty years... How can I compete with other little foxy wombs if my brain has been lagging behind in these thirty years? I'm just afraid that by then I'll be pushed out into a cold palace that's colder than the Antarctic.

Shangguan Dantan remained calm and quietly extended her palm halfway out of her sleeve pocket, so that when Liu Changan asked the question, she could raise her hand to answer the question faster than others and get the upper hand.

"Three people drink three buckets of water in three days. How many buckets of water do nine people drink in nine days?" Liu Changan asked.

Shangguan Dandan immediately raised his hand, and at the same time he jumped up and down to attract the questioner's attention.

Qin Yanan and Zhou Shuling both wanted to answer, but when they saw Shangguan Dandan raising his hand to answer, they couldn't help but blurt out the answer.

"you say."

"Seven of these nine people are Ya Ya, Xiao Ling, Hui Hui, Xiao Fang, Xiao Zhongqing, Evil Wife, and An Nuan. They started a fierce palace fight over the distribution of water, and Xiaotang was punished by everyone for sowing discord. After discovering this, we started spitting everywhere in an attempt to contaminate all the water so that no one had any water to drink. Fortunately, I was in charge of the overall situation. In the end, we dug a well outside everyone's room, which could provide drinking water and deterrence. Disobedient palace maids and eunuchs."

After Shangguan Dandan finished speaking, he nodded with satisfaction. The Queen Mother's answer was naturally the standard answer. I hope the speaker means it and the listener also means it, and learn from it the true meaning that the harem must live in harmony.

Liu Changan's eyebrows twitched, what kind of answer is this! Shangguan Dandan should be excluded from this kind of game. She spends her days doing nothing, being idle, never studying, and maybe she doesn't even know what the word "answer" means.

Qin Yanan was secretly happy that her name was ranked first, while An Nuan was ranked last. As for Su Mei, she was ranked second to last probably because of Zhu Juntang's relationship, and she was also codenamed "Evil Mother".

However, four of these seven people are in a group, and there is also Zhu Juntang, who has to be taken seriously. This group of people is too powerful. Even if he adds Yan Qingcheng and Yan Huaye, he still has some power. A single person is weak... At present, neither Yan Huaye nor Yan Qingcheng has been included in the harem category by Shangguan Dandan. There is still a long way to go.

"It's very expensive to dig wells. We can dig fewer wells." Zhou Shuling thought about more practical issues, "But we can use mountain spring water to boil water for Dandan to drink. Dandan, do you know, use mountain spring water for bathing? Tea and stuff, it tastes really good!”

"What Xiaoling said makes sense." Shangguan Dandan nodded with satisfaction. She was worthy of being the daughter-in-law appointed by the Queen Mother. She was as diligent and frugal as the Queen Mother and could live a smart life.

The corners of Qin Yanan's mouth curled up slightly. Zhou Shuling was quite good at talking, but what everyone focused on was execution. Qin Yanan already had a plan in mind.

"You answer it." Liu Changan said to Zhou Shuling. Seeing Qin Yanan's confident look, he knew that this kind of question was unlikely to be difficult for a graduate student, so he should use it against Zhou Shuling.

"Nine buckets!" Zhou Shuling immediately answered confidently. Smart kindergarten children may know the answer to this kind of question, so how could it be so difficult to attract the little mother who once thought about tutoring Liu Changan's homework?

"Nine barrels?" This is an unexpected answer. "How do you calculate it?"

"Three people drink three barrels of water in three days. Nine people drink nine barrels of water in nine days. One person drinks one barrel a day, and nine people drink nine barrels in nine days." Zhou Shuling did a simple division calculation.

"Don't help Zhou Dongdong with his homework from now on." Liu Changan had to stop Zhou Shuling from leading Zhou Dongdong to run in the opposite direction on the road of learning.

"Why?" Zhou Shuling felt aggrieved. Did she do something wrong? In the past, he often asked questions, and she couldn't understand any of them, but this question was very simple, and she was still very confident.

"Zhou Dongdong...forget it."

Liu Changan shouted Zhou Dongdong. She was motionless with her hands and feet hanging down. When she heard Brother Changan calling her to answer the question, she turned her head and looked at Liu Changan without saying a word. There was a clear light in her eyes, as if she could see through it. Her bright pupils saw that her mind was filled with all kinds of shrimps, crabs, seafood and aquatic products that she had eaten today.

"How much is it?" Zhou Shuling felt a little unconvinced and aggrieved.

"Twenty-seven barrels." Qin Yanan couldn't help it, "Use the normalization method to calculate. First calculate how many barrels of water each person uses per day, and then multiply by nine people and nine days to get the formula (3÷3÷3)*9*9= 27. Or use the doubling method, use 3 barrels of water as a multiple, and then multiply by the multiple of people and the multiple of day 3*(9÷3)*(9÷3)=27.”

This is a simple arithmetic problem, but it is more of a brainteaser. People like Zhou Shuling may not even know such simple arithmetic, and they may be led astray by the confusing nature of brainteasers.

"So that's it." Zhou Shuling was a little impressed. She was indeed a teacher at Xiangnan University. She was as powerful as Professor Liu. Zhou Shuling was determined that both she and Zhou Dongdong would be admitted to Xiangnan University.

"Yaya is also a good helper. When my business grows in the future, I can leave it to Yaya to help. After all, I have to worry about too many things every day, and I often feel physically and mentally exhausted, and arithmetic is quite a waste of energy..." Shangguan Dandan is also very satisfied with Qin Yanan's outstanding performance.

If Zhu Juntang were here, he would probably understand the profound meaning of the Queen Mother's arrangement of digging a well outside the door of each room: the wells lead to the Dragon Palace, which means that the lustful dragons in the Dragon Palace can choose a well to drill out every day. The woman who blessed him.

"Can your business be big?" Liu Changan was very doubtful. Shangguan Dandan had already lost enthusiasm for her self-service vending machine and entered the Fortune Global 500 business. Her new focus was on stealing subway ticket machines to sell tickets and stealing fire. The Flamingo boat is placed in Zhujuntang's swimming pool to develop tourism.

Or are you still secretly plotting against the bank? Anyway, when he passed a bank just now, Liu Changan noticed Shangguan Dandan staring at the ATM machine.

Liu Changan couldn't help but feel a little emotional. In the new era, he was still making positive contributions to the stability and harmony of society. He paid attention to Shangguan Dandan every day to prevent her from doing evil, which was to serve the country and the people.

"I have discussed with Xiaotang today and are planning to do business together." Shangguan Dandan said confidently. If she and Zhu Juntang join forces, as long as Liu Changan doesn't cause trouble, they are basically invincible in the world, and making ten thousand gold a day is just a matter of fingers. It leaks a little bit of soup water.

"Take Zhou Dongdong with you, you will be even more invincible." Liu Changan pointed at the child under his arm. It seemed that this human cub was in the same group as some bird or some mythical beast cub, and he pointed again Referring to Zhou Shuling, "Let her be your accountant."

Everyone was happy and didn't think anything was wrong.

"I can also help with suggestions." Qin Yanan naturally wanted to actively participate in it. Let's not talk about the prospects and feasibility of doing business. Anyway, the most unacceptable thing for a woman is that the people around her form a small circle, but she is not accepted into it. .

Although they haven't even figured out their horoscopes and haven't even thought about what kind of business they are doing, it does not affect their enthusiasm to express their opinions - Liu Changan, who had never thought about participating, was actively rejected by Shangguan Dandan. She wanted to When the business got bigger, Liu Changan became jealous and had to hand over his financial power, bank cards, WeChat Alipay and Q coins.

There was a chill in the night breeze, and only the creatures under the armpits were slightly warm due to their rich fat content.

Back home, Zhou Shuling wanted to treat everyone to drink her newly prepared mixed juice. Liu Changan considered that many fruits have not been on the market in large quantities during this season. For example, the watermelons, cherries, bayberries, etc. at home were still expensive, so Liu Changan made them Zhou Shuling pressed down on the sofa and asked her to eat the packed seafood first because it was too cold to taste. He went to the kitchen to prepare juice.

Qin Yanan glanced at her brother's back, smiled slightly, held Shangguan Dandan's arm, and whispered affectionately. The last time she spent the night here, she gave Dandan a self-service vending machine. Dandan also read "Die Lian Hua" ·Feng Qiwu".

But now Qin Yanan is thinking of Li Qingzhao's "Reminiscences of Playing the Flute on the Phoenix Platform: Xiang Leng Jin Ni", because the first sentence of this poem is "Xiang Leng Jin Ni, being rolled over by red waves, gets up and combs his hair lazily", There is the same word "caught on the red wave" as in "Die Lian Hua·Feng Qi Wu"... But Qin Yanan's mood is naturally different from the loneliness and coldness in Li Qingzhao's poems.

——

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