My name is Gu Jia.
He is a child that no one wants.
I grew up in an orphanage. There were five children like me, and I was the youngest.
The dean is a good man.
She used the death pensions of her husband and son to build a small orphanage to take in homeless children like me.
At that time, I was too young to understand the meaning of "killed in action" and "pension". I just thought that the dean was the best person in the world.
She always gives us the most delicious food. I never seem to see her eat meat or change new clothes.
The dean has to work during the day and always comes back at night, but no matter how tired she is, she always takes time to teach us how to read and write.
I was short and couldn't reach the chair, so the dean would hold me and sit on her lap, teaching me one stroke at a time.
The dean taught us a lot.
She said, you should be useful to society in the future, so that society will not abandon you.
She said that before loving others, you must learn to love yourself first.
She also said that good people are like hemp poles. When the wind blows, they fall down. But she still hopes that we can be good people.
I don't understand why good people are so fragile.
The dean, who was obviously such a good person, suddenly collapsed and I could no longer sit on her lap because the dean's wheelchair was not very good and would often get stuck.
That day, two strange uncles and aunts came to the orphanage.
The dean told me that they will be my "father" and "mother" from now on.
I don't know what "Mom and Dad" mean. I only know that the dean doesn't want me anymore...
I was so sad and in tears.
The dean hugged me tenderly, just like he did when he was a child, and I soon stopped crying.
Because the dean's body is so cold, so cold...
When the dean saw me off, he told me so many things that I no longer remember.
Now that I think about it, it’s actually only one sentence.
"sorry."
On the day I left, I kept staring at the dean, but the car was driving so fast...
Before I could remember the appearance of the dean, she disappeared around the corner.
"Mom and Dad" took me to a small house, which was a little cold and a little dark.
I don't know what the "villa" looks like, but I think, at least it shouldn't look like this...
That night, I didn't sleep.
I miss the dean...
The next day, "Mom and Dad" took me to another city. They handed me over to a strange uncle. They told me that I could just call him "Boss" from now on.
"Mom and Dad" counted the bills and left without looking at me again.
I don’t quite understand. Doesn’t the book say that parents all over the world love their children?
Does it say in the book...
Is it wrong?
"Boss" took me to another city and lived with a dozen friends of similar age.
"Boss" taught me a lot of knowledge.
For the first time, I learned that if a person is hit in the head by a fist, he will feel dizzy first and then feel pain.
For the first time, I learned that when sleeping on the floor, you should not sleep too hard, otherwise you will freeze to death and your body will become very hard.
For the first time, I learned that if a person is hit by an iron rod, he will not be able to stand up. If the blow is severe, he will not be able to stand up for the rest of his life.
For the first time, I learned that if you bleed too much, you will die. After you die, you will become very cold.
For the first time, I learned that people don’t need to eat every day. A sour steamed bun can make a person live for a long, long time...
The "boss" is the bad guy.
He took us through various cities and taught us how to beg from passers-by and how to say auspicious words to get more money.
If one day I get less money, the "boss" will give me a severe lesson.
It really hurts...
That day, I returned to my "home" as usual, and I didn't ask for a penny, because it was so cold... I couldn't stand the cold anymore, so I hid.
But that day, the "boss" was not angry and even brought a bowl of hot tea.
He told me, "Drink this and you won't get beaten in the future."
I was too cold and too thirsty, so I picked up the tea and drank it.
So numb, so spicy, so painful...
After that day, I could always get money to "go home", but I could never speak again.
As winter passes and autumn comes, the children in the "family" have changed a lot.
Some froze to death on the roadside, some were beaten so severely by the "boss" that they never woke up, and some were abducted by other traffickers and disappeared without a trace.
"Boss" took us to many, many cities until the last stop, we came to Lincheng.
That day, I returned "home" as usual, but the boss was gone.
The next few days were like this.
I think the "boss" is probably dead.
All my friends have slipped away. They can talk and support themselves. I am the only one with nowhere to go.
I wandered the streets for a long time.
Every time I asked passers-by for help, I was always waved away.
No one even bothered to look at me twice.
I'm so hungry...
So scared...
Why on earth did I come to this world...
I do not understand...
Until I grabbed Master's sleeve...
He didn't drive me away, and asked me if I was willing to go with him.
That day, I saw light in my eyes.
Master is a good person. He bought me beautiful clothes and gave me his favorite pork ribs.
I learned how to cover myself with a quilt again. The bed in Changsheng Hall is so warm...
Not long after, Goushengzi also came.
Master told me that I was Goushengzi's senior sister and we should get along well in the future.
But Goushengzi's eyes scared me a little...
However, since he is also a child brought back by Master, we may, should, maybe...
get along well...
Time in Changsheng Hall passed so quickly.
Unconsciously, I have been here for more than a year.
In this year or so, I often have the same dream, dreaming of a black curtain that I can't see the end of.
I always feel that the black curtain is familiar, but...
It's so cold.
Every time I wake up from a nightmare, Master will rub his eyes and come to see me.
As long as I see Master, I am not afraid.
Sometimes I still think of the dean.
I really want to tell her.
"Dean, I found my home. My home is called Changshengtang."
"Dean, I have a junior brother. He is very powerful. Everyone calls him Bangtou."
"Dean, I can speak again. It was my master who cured me."
"Dean, the boss is dead. It was also my master who did it."
"Dean, my master is a super super super powerful person."
"Dean, I miss you so much..."
My name is Gu Jia.
I am not an unwanted child anymore.
Not anymore...
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