I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations  Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin presented the mooncake to Xu Xiaolan with an extremely sincere expression.

Xu Xiaolan’s expression softened a little, but she still pushed the mooncake lightly away. “You’ve already given me a mooncake, I don’t want another one. I have some things I need to do, so I’m going to take my leave now, feel free to continue without me.”

Xu Xiaolan turned and left as she said.

An Lin held the mooncake in his hands, but his heart felt extremely empty.

Tang Ximen looked at the mooncake in An Lin’s hands and swallowed involuntarily. He was kicking himself for accepting An Lin’s spirit stones; perhaps he would’ve gotten Chang’e’s mooncake instead if he had continued to refuse!

An Lin was quite dejected and bade farewell to his friends before returning to his dorm on his brick.

He surveyed his accursed system on the way back to find that there was a mission completed notification in his “Special Mission” tab.

“Congratulations on completing the mission, “Be a humble man and help others win”. You now have the chance to receive one of the following items from the Magic Treasure lottery:

“Spirit Tool (fifty available), Immortal Tool (ten available), Unique Tool (one available), Divine Tool (three available).”

An Lin’s anger finally subsided somewhat after looking at the system notification.

There were a hundred magic tools last time he accessed the Magic Treasure lottery but now there were three divine tools instead.

This meant that the quality of the prizes should have something to do with his cultivation base. Now that he was at Soul Formation Stage, all the magic tools had disappeared from the lottery. Also, it appeared that there were a set number of items available as the number of unique tools had dropped to one from the original two after An Lin received the black brick.

That didn’t really matter anyway. He didn’t care about the remaining unique tool as he had his eyes set on the divine tools!

A scorching heat flared up in An Lin’s eyes. He had heard that most divine tools had the power to transform heaven and earth and were all legendary weapons.

Who would have thought the system would give him the opportunity to win such badass weapons!

He swallowed nervously and began to spin the prize wheel.

The system also began to glow with an extremely bright light.

“Ding Dong!

“Congratulations, you’ve won a big prize~!”

An Lin’s body trembled and he almost passed out from excitement.

I’ve won a big prize!

Did you hear me? I’ve won a big prize!

It must be a divine tool, I’m invincible, hahahaha…

He looked toward the system to find a series of golden characters displayed before his eyes:

“Congratulations on winning the Unique Tool: Chaotic Frying Pan!

“This frying pan is suitable for baking, steaming, roasting, and frying. On top of that, it has the added effects of reducing cooking fumes and eternal non-stick properties, it is truly the best frying pan in the world!

“This frying pan was carefully crafted with a perfectly round outline and a color combination which is extremely pleasing to the eye. It is truly the most well-crafted frying pan in the world!

Clang!

A frying pan with a black interior and a golden exterior appeared in An Lin’s hands.

Hmm… The handle was extremely smooth and comfortable to hold and it truly was extremely elegant and refined in appearance, much better than the black brick at the very least…

An Lin’s entire body trembled and he felt like spewing blood.

Unique tool?

You mean to tell me this frying pan is a unique tool?!

Unique tools should be items useful in battle! How the f*ck was he supposed to battle with this frying pan? Even if he could bake, steam, roast and fry his opponents, there wasn’t enough surface area to fit his enemies on there anyway!!

F*ck!

An Lin almost blacked out in rage and barely resisted the urge to throw the frying pan out as far as he could. The system was definitely doing this on purpose!

Trashy system, give me my immortal tool! Give me my divine tool!

An Lin stormed back to his dorm in a fit of fury.

This system was just getting more and more inexplicable; the lottery was definitely rigged!

He had risked becoming a eunuch and worked so hard to complete this mission just for a frying pan?

How could the system rig the lottery in such an obvious way?!

“F*ck this f*cking frying pan! What did I try so hard for? Even Celestial Maiden Xiaolan hates me now and all for this f*cking frying pan!” A burst of loud clanging erupted from within the kitchen alongside An Lin’s enraged roars.

Xiao Chou was completely perplexed. “Why is Big Brother An throwing a tantrum at a frying pan?”

Da Bai was sprawled lazily over a patch of grass and half-opened his eyes after hearing Xiao Chou’s question. “He was probably dumped by Xu Xiaolan and has nowhere to vent his rage so he can only blame the frying pan…”

Xiao Chou didn’t really understand, but he still nodded at Da Bai’s explanation.

“A table of delicious food, enjoyed by all the children, they eat it all without any going to waste, ah wu ah wu yummy food…” Xiao Hong began to sing a children’s song, and she wobbled her head from side to side as she photosynthesized.

“Big Brother An looks like he just had a rough battle and there’s blood all over his clothes, shouldn’t he be resting?” Xiao Chou was a little concerned.

Da Bai yawned nonchalantly. “Don’t worry, Big Brother An’s lifeforce is even more powerful than a cockroach, those injuries are nothing to him…”

Da Bai rolled over and continued to sleep as he said.

The sound of cooking suddenly erupted from the kitchen.

“F*ck, I worked so hard for this, it would a shame not to use it at least once. I hope this stupid frying pan can survive my Divine Flames!” An Lin’s enraged roar sounded from the kitchen.

“Big Brother An has really gone crazy this time; he’s arguing with a frying pan.” Xiao Chou’s bright eyes were filled with sympathy but he didn’t know how to comfort Big Brother An.

The extremely delicious scent of eggs suddenly wafted out from the kitchen.

Xiao Chou was instantly rooted to the spot while Da Bai suddenly woke up and Xiao Hong stopped singing.

This smell…

It smelled so delicious!

“My God, I knew Big Brother An could roast some pretty good meat, but how is his cooking suddenly so good as well? Woof!” Da Bai exclaimed in shock.

“Who would have thought that there would be food in this world that could distract me from my photosynthesis!” Xiao Hong’s sweet voice sounded.

Xiao Chou immediately charged into the kitchen without uttering a single word.

Da Bai immediately chased after him. “You get back here, I’m your Big Brother Bai, so I should get the first bite!”

“Going by that logic, I should be the one to go first!” Xiao Hong transformed into a beautiful woman in a red dress and sprinted for the kitchen.

The beast pets charged into the kitchen and were greeted by the sight of a golden, succulent dish.

An Lin held the plate of food in one hand and the frying pan in the other as he fell into an extended spell of silence.

Da Bai took a deep breath and pointed to the dish. “Big Brother An, what dish is that?”

An Lin replied lightly, “Egg fried rice.”

“No way!”

Da Bai, Xiao Chou, and Xiao Hong yelled in unison.

How could egg fried rice have such a shiny, golden hue?!

How could egg fried rice exude such a delicious scent?!

“I don’t care if you believe or not, but this is egg fried rice, and it was made using the most ordinary eggs and rice from the school cafeteria,” An Lin continued.

Xiao Hong grabbed a spoon and munched on a spoonful of egg fried rice.

“Oh… this taste… oh my God!”

A blush appeared on Xiao Hong’s face as her body swayed and she let loose an excited yell.

“My turn, my turn, woof!”

Da Bai also picked up a spoon and had a taste before he was instantly rooted to the spot.

His eyes then began to glow extremely brightly, and he opened his mouth as wide as it could go in an attempt to eat all the fried rice along with the plate underneath!

Slap!

Xiao Chou knocked Da Bai flying into the distance.

He too pulled out a spoon and had a taste before he was also rooted to the spot.

“This taste… It’s even better than the food my mum makes…”

Tears began to flow out of Xiao Chou’s bulb-like eyes.

An Lin had already had a spoonful of the egg fried rice so he knew why his beast pets were reacting this way.

It was all because the egg fried rice was so delicious, it defied the natural order!

He looked deeply at the frying pan and fell completely silent.

He only broke the silence after a long while. “What’s the point of cultivating…

“I should just become a chef.”