I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

After the sect leader’s address, the festivities continued.

All types of fun events and activities were being held as peals of joyful laughter erupted on the dao plaza at regular intervals.

An Lin sat on his lounge chair, enjoying Ye Ling’s massage services.

Her clever and nimble hands pressed into each of his acupoints with unerring accuracy, and Ye Ling’s unique vital energy flowed into his body through those acupoints, circulating through his meridians.

“Hmm…” An Lin was thoroughly enjoying this.

Cultivators had a special massage method.

It was not good to experience a massage like this too often as it was highly addictive!

This was the life.

An Lin sipped on some immortal wine and turned toward Xu Xiaolan’s direction.

Xu Xiaolan was playing a very simple game with the sect disciples, consisting of throwing some dice and guessing the number. Cultivators playing this game were obviously not allowed to use any of their spell techniques as that would completely ruin the game.

Even so, Xu Xiaolan’s win rate was still extraordinarily high.

In her words, after progressing to the Dao Integration Stage, she had an extremely powerful sense of heaven and earth, which transcended beyond the five senses as well as the divine sense and spatial sense, thereby allowing her to see the innate connections between certain things.

As such, simple predictions like these were far too easy for her.

“Master,” Ye Ling’s pleasant voice sounded.

“Hmm? What is it?” An Lin asked.

Ye Ling wore a confused expression as she massaged An Lin’s shoulders. “As I’m massaging you, I can feel that your body is slowly becoming harder, as if it’s transforming into a different state…”

An Lin stirred upon hearing this, and he detected his condition before coming to a sudden realization.

“I’m currently cultivating in a new cultivation method, which has some side-effects. As a result, I will temporarily become a jade person,” An Lin explained with a smile.

“A jade person?”

“Yep, it’s pretty self-explanatory. I will basically become a living jade statue.”

“… Master is so awesome.”

An Lin cast his divine sense into his body.

Heavenly Venerate Yu Qiong’s true intent had already been compressed into a small ball for An Lin to slowly absorb. This was a rare period of peace, so it was a good time to absorb Heavenly Venerate Yu Qiong’s true intent.

Let’s do it tomorrow!

An Lin came to a decision.

He then turned toward the cultivation base tab on his system.

The mission had been updated following his progression to the Return to Void Intermediate Stage.

At that time, An Lin didn’t have time to look as he was thrust into one battle after another.

Now, he had mentally prepared himself, but he was still feeling quite uneasy as he checked the updated mission.

[Return to Void Final Stage mission condition: Swallow a sun.]

An Lin: “…”

The mission condition consisted of just a simple sentence, but that sentence made him want to vomit blood.

“Hehe…”

An Lin suddenly smiled as an enraged yet dejected expression appeared on his face.

“What’s wrong, Master? I can feel that your aura is very unstable,” Ye Ling asked with a concerned expression.

The veins on An Lin’s forehead suddenly bulged as he flared up with rage. “Swallow a sun? F*ck you, you piece of sh*t system!”

He had been lying on his lounge chair, completely relaxed, mere moments ago, but he had now suddenly exploded in anger.

Ye Ling was given a fright. “Master, what’s wrong?”

An aggrieved and self-critical expression appeared on her face. “Did… did my massage hurt you in any way?”

“It has nothing to do with you.”

An Lin took a deep breath and repressed the explosion of emotions in his heart.

He was already mentally prepared, but this new system mission still managed to completely set him off.

Swallow a sun?

What was the sun? The sun was the epitome of light and heat in all the worlds. It was the source of all light and fire; it was something that could not be encroached upon by anyone. Just its surface temperature was several hundred degrees Celsius, and its core temperature was as high as ten million degrees! How was he supposed to swallow that?!

Even if by some extraordinary miracle he was not burned to death, the sun was massive, and he would stuff himself to death!

Was there a way to complete this mission? No!

This was a f*cking impossible mission!

An Lin wanted to die. He sprawled back down into the lounge chair with a suicidal expression.

“Master, you don’t look alright at all…” Ye Ling’s heart throbbed with pain at the sight of the completely and utterly dejected An Lin, and she laid a hand on his cheek as she spoke in a gentle voice, “If you’ve encountered some troubles, you can tell Little Ling. Perhaps Little Ling can help you.”

An Lin came to his senses upon hearing this before turning to Ye Ling with soulless eyes. “Little Ling, if a person wanted to swallow a sun, how would they go about doing that?”

“How?” Ye Ling blinked hesitantly. “By sleeping?”

“What? Why would that help?” An Lin was taken aback by this response.

“Because anything is possible in a dream, no matter how absurd,” Ye Ling replied with a serious expression.

An Lin: “…”

So it really was impossible after all.

“Sigh… Little Ling, Master is probably going to be stuck at the Return to Void Intermediate Stage forever.” An Lin looked up at the sky with a despairing expression.

Swallow a sun?

How did the system even think of stuff like this?!

“Even if Master’s cultivation base never progresses, you’re still the best in Little Ling’s eyes,” Ye Ling said in a very earnest voice.

For some reason, An Lin was a little comforted by her words.

What a kind and thoughtful girl.

Xu Xiaolan had secured a crushing victory in her dice activity, and she was just about to boast about her exploits to An Lin when she discovered An Lin laying on a lounge chair with lifeless eyes, as if he had lost all purposes and meanings in life, upon which she was given a huge fright.

“An Lin, what happened to you?”

Xu Xiaolan instantly appeared before An Lin and laid her hand gently over An Lin’s forehead before injecting her divine sense into his body to assess his condition.

“There doesn’t appear to be a problem…” Xu Xiaolan’s brows furrowed. “Could it be that the residual divine dao of Heavenly Venerate Yu Qiong in your body is hurting you?”

An Lin grabbed Xiaolan’s hand and placed it over his heart. “I’m hurting right here. I think my heart has already died, and I need a kiss to resuscitate it.”

Xu Xiaolan glared at An Lin.

Fireworks suddenly exploded in the sky again.

Xu Xiaolan’s exquisitely beautiful features were extremely enticing under the colorful light of the fireworks.

An Lin was a little dazed as he stared at her, and she suddenly leaned down and gave him a light peck on the lips.

An Lin felt her soft, supple lips press over his lips for a fleeting moment before withdrawing.

Only her residual scent resting on his body verified that that beautiful moment had indeed come to pass.

“How is it? You feeling better now?” Xu Xiaolan smiled.

An Lin immediately sprang up from his lounge chair as if he had been injected with performance-enhancing drugs. “F*ck swallowing the sun! I’m still everyone’s daddy even if my cultivation base never makes any further progress!”