I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations  Editor: Henyee Translations

In Bai Hua State’s Nanling Prefecture, there was a humongous tree. This tree soared tens of kilometers into the air and its trunk reached a few kilometers in diameter.

Sitting atop the crown of the tree, there were magnificent buildings and pavilions. At a glance, this place was divine and majestic. In fact, this was the site of the renowned Vermilion Bird Sect.

“Wow! This tree is gigantic!”

Seeing this tree, An Lin couldn’t help but exclaim in astonishment.

They had already started flying toward the tree crown which blotted out the sun and sky. Splendid buildings sat atop the tree crown, and they glistened wonderfully under the brilliant sunshine.

“Humph! These buildings are so annoying! They’re preventing Grandpa Tree from performing photosynthesis!” Xiao Hong stuck her head out from An Lin’s pocket and spoke in dissatisfaction.

Sure enough, plants thought differently from them.

An Lin looked toward the gigantic tree. It was still full of vitality and bristling with branches and leaves.

The Vermilion Bird Sect has already played around atop this tree for tens of thousands of years. Hang on, no! They’ve played with fire for tens of thousands of years…

He shook his head and pushed this matter out of his mind. Riding on Da Bai’s back, he continued flying upwards.

They quickly arrived before two towering vermilion pillars. Between them, there was a picture of a flaming phoenix.

“Halt! What brings you here?”

A guard dressed in red daoist robes blocked their path.

Just as An Lin was about to speak, Da Bai fished out a badge.

Upon seeing this badge, the expression on the guard’s face changed. Almost immediately, he knelt down on one knee and cupped his fists. “I respectfully welcome Your Excellency!”

Da Bai nodded indifferently. Pulling An Lin along with him, he swaggered in.

“Holy f*ck! Da Bai, when did you become an excellency of the Vermilion Bird Sect?” An Lin stroked Da Bai’s head and exclaimed in amazement.

“When I was a kid, I came here with my dad once,” Da Bai smiled triumphantly, “Elder Zhu or whatever he’s called gave me this badge, saying that this badge would allow me to come and go as I pleased. Who would’ve thought that it would come in handy now?”

An Lin came to a sudden realization. The Mythological Beast Sect and the Vermilion Bird Sect were both renowned as members of the Four Great Sects. It was only normal that there was some sort of contact between them.

Afterward, they started strolling around the Vermilion Bird Sect.

“Big Brother An, have you realized something?” Da Bai said smugly, “A lot of people are staring at us as we walk along!”

“Do you think it’s because I’m too handsome or because you’re too mighty?” An Lin stroked his chin in thought.

“I think it’s both.” Da Bai tilted his head up proudly and put a sinister yet attractive smile on his face as he looked toward the disciples of the Vermilion Bird Sect.

At this moment, another two male disciples walked past.

Seeing Da Bai’s smile, they grimaced and walked away briskly.

“Where’s that male from,” one of the disciples asked softly. “He’s sitting on a weird dog as well. That’s hilarious!”

The other male shook his head, trying hard to contain his laughter. “You think that’s hilarious? Have you not noticed the small monkey on his shoulder? That monkey is what’s hilarious…”

At the Sun God Platform, a restricted area of the sect, there was a female dressed in light green garb. Her eyes were shut and she sat meditating atop the platform.

She extended a slender finger and tapped gently on the Fiery Spirit Bead which was suspended in mid-air. An extremely pure energy coursed through her finger and into her body, fusing and transforming within her.

“Haha, Xiaolan, I saw a weirdo when I was walking over just then! Ah, no, it was two weirdos!” A crisp and pleasant voice suddenly sounded in the restricted area.

A pretty girl in a purple dress ran over lightly.

The female meditating in the restricted area was none other than Xu Xiaolan. Hearing this voice, her eyes fluttered open. “Sister Lan Yan, please pay some attention to your image. If you startle some elder with your shouting and screaming, you’ll be thrown into confinement again.”

Hearing this, Lan Yan’s face flushed red. However, she still continued eagerly, “Guess what I just saw?”

“You saw two weirdos!” Xu Xiaolan snapped.

“Yes, yes, yes. Those two weirdos looked hilarious! Ahahahaha…”

Lan Yan had her hands around her belly as she shook with laughter.

Xu Xiaolan rolled her eyes. Sister Lan Yan had a strong point which also appeared a bit like a weak point. That was, she was amused by even the smallest of things. In the past, she could laugh for a good half day after seeing a flipped turtle unable to roll itself back over.

Thus, Xu Xiaolan wasn’t really interested in the weirdos that Lan Yan spoke of. It was probably nothing more than just some disciple tripping over on flat ground, or some disciple roasting themselves while trying to practice their fire element spells. It was most likely something lame like that.

Lan Yan patted Xu Xiaolan’s shoulders and stopped laughing for a moment. After catching her breath, she said enthusiastically, “There’s a male riding a big white dog around our sect. You haven’t seen how showy and pretentious they look. After all my years alive, this is the first time that I’ve seen someone riding on a dog. Hahahaha…”

Xu Xiaolan pursed her lips. “If you see someone riding on a pig, you’ll probably laugh yourself to death. Literally!”

For some reason though, the phrase, ‘riding on a dog’, kept floating around in her mind.

A curious expression appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face. “Sister Lan Yan, what do those two weirdos look like?”

“Hmm… The male is fairly handsome. As for the dog… its fur is especially white and it’s also very adorable. Oh, that’s right! There’s also an ugly little monkey on his shoulder. So hilarious, hahaha…”

As though she had recalled something funny, Lan Yan burst into laughter again.

White-furred dog? Ugly monkey?

It’s most likely him!

Xu Xiaolan was a bit worked up and she grabbed onto Lan Yan’s hand. “Let’s go! Take me over to have a look.”

Lan Yan was a bit surprised. “Huh? Aren’t you uninterested in these things? Why are you so eager today? That’s fine too, I wanted to have another look myself anyway. Let’s go!”

…

In the practice arena of the Vermilion Bird Sect, there was a gigantic red crystal wall.

Sitting on Da Bai’s back, An Lin wandered into this practice arena slowly.

“Phew, it’s so hot here! Don’t they have any air conditioners?”

As soon as An Lin entered the practice arena, he felt bursts of hot air sweep over him.

“Blaze Implosion Technique!”

A male disciple roared and a gigantic fireball shot out from his palm, smashing into the red wall which stood in the arena.

Boom!

The fireball erupted outwards. A yellow ‘366’ and red ‘210’ appeared on the wall.

“Wow! It can also count?” An Lin exclaimed in surprise.

Only after talking to a disciple in the arena did they find out what these numbers meant. The red number represented the power of the spell and the yellow number represented the purity of the flames contained within the spell.

Many disciples of the Vermilion Bird Sect practiced their immortal spells here. Countless fire element immortal spells whizzed through the air and exploded on the wall.

Flames licked about everywhere and many places were scorching with heat. However, the disciples only practiced harder and harder.

Especially when the disciples saw the red number increase, for example from ‘215’ to ‘216’, they would jump around in joy.

“The Vermilion Bird Sect has truly given this a lot of thought. This way, they can encourage their disciples to be more driven and proactive when it comes to practicing their immortal spells.” An Lin nodded in approval and walked toward the red crystal wall in interest.

“Flaming Palm!” An Lin roared and cast a run-of-the-mill fire element immortal spell which he had learned at university.

Boom!

The crystal wall quaked and two numbers appeared on it. There was a red ‘611’ and a yellow ‘190’.

An Lin sighed softly. The power of his strike was almost double that of the Blaze Implosion Technique cast by the disciple just then. However, there was a huge gap in the purity of their flames.

At this moment, Xiao Chou suddenly transformed back into his original size. “Let me try as well!”

Saying this, a black flame burst from his right hand. This flame didn’t look very hot. However, it radiated a feeling of death and desolation.

Whoosh!

Xiao Chou launched this ball of black flames toward the red crystal wall.

There was another violent rumble. The entire red crystal wall started shaking and it also began to emit a faint red glow.

Two numbers slowly appeared. There was a red ‘850’ and yellow ‘803’.

“Holy f*ck! That high?!” An Lin’s eyes bulged.

Compared to An Lin’s astonishment, most of the disciples in the practice arena were completely stupefied by these numbers.

These disciples were all launching immortal spells toward the red crystal wall. Thus, they naturally detected the red glow and realized that something had happened.

Almost all of them stopped what they were doing, a look of disbelief on their faces.

There was even a male whose eyebrows were ablaze due to the flames he held in his hands. However, he was completely oblivious to this and stood staring blankly at the numbers on the wall.

The disciples here had a more in-depth understanding of what these numbers represented.

“The purity of his flames is above ninety percent. It’s already reached the rank of divine flames…” a male disciple murmured.

“Which supremely talented disciple is it? No, could it be that the Sect Leader has come here to play?” A disciple started glancing around, trying to locate who it was that launched this immortal spell.

At this moment, a female disciple tapped his shoulder and pointed toward An Lin’s direction. “It’s none of those. I’ve been secretly paying attention to them ever since they came in here. It was that monkey who cast the spell just then…”

This news spread like wildfire and soon the entire practice arena was astir.

Many disciples looked toward Xiao Chou. Then, their eyes widened and they drew in a sharp breath.

This ugly monkey… is truly terrifying!

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