I Decided To Become a Perfect Girl

29 – 13 years old (1)

Time to sleep normally.

Her eyes opened even though her mother didn’t wake her up.

Today, she feels a sharp pain in her lower abdomen.

And underneath it is damp and hot, which is unpleasant.

I carefully lifted the blanket.

Ah.

f*cked.

No.

I wouldn’t have menstruated if I was f*cked.

Anyway, there was blood on my white blanket.

I thought it would come someday.

But when I get my period, I feel confused.

I felt dizzy and weak.

Since the day before yesterday, the bloating, soreness and indigestion must have been due to menstruation.

” Mom~ “

I called my mother.

It’s still too early for mom to wake up.

She tried to call her again, but her mother was silent.

I eventually picked up my cell phone and called her mother.

After a while, my mother answered the phone on the third attempt.

– Hello.. –

” Mom, come to my room quickly. “

– Why are you calling in the middle of the night… –

” It’s 6 o’clock now. Come to my room quickly anyway. –

– Ahhh… –

My mom hung up on her phone and after a while she opened my door and came in.

Mom was so sleepy that she couldn’t even open her eyes.

” Why… “

I pointed to the lifted blanket and said,

” Mom, look at this “

” Huh? “

My mom looked at my blanket and said in a surprised voice.

” What is it, my daughter’s period?”

” Uh. But I don’t know what to do now.”

” First of all, take off your clothes and go and wash them. Mom will do the cleaning.”

” Yes. “

The fishy smell of blood is so disgusting.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

The simple act of roughly washing your hair and rinsing your body with body wash leaves you feeling weak.

I suddenly feel depressed.

Hey, that’s my situation.

Why do I have to go through all this suffering because I was born as a woman?

I washed it as quickly as I could and dried it with a towel, but I felt something dripping from underneath.

Ah.

I tried to wash everything, but menstrual blood came out again.

I had no choice but to go back to the shower to wash off the blood.

Even after washing the blood off, the blood continues to flow little by little.

I blocked it with a tissue and called her mother.

” Mom!! Come to work. “

Mom opened the bathroom and showed her face.

” Why does it hurt so much?”

” No, no matter how much I wipe, blood comes out.”

Mom shut the bathroom door and came back with new panties with her sanitary pad attached.

” Hurry up and put this on.”

” Yes. “

After washing again, I quickly put on my panties and came out.

Wow, I’m out of it.

I can understand why children who are approaching menarche suddenly cry.

I know exactly what menstruation is, but I’m so confused, but the kids are even worse.

” Are you okay?”

As I was sitting on the sofa, my mother brought tea.

” This is chamomile tea. If you eat it, you’ll feel better.”

” Yes. “

My mother looked at me with a worried look as she frowned and said.

” Does it hurt a lot? “

” No, I can handle it.”

” Today, I’m going to take a rest instead of going to practice.”

Today is summer vacation, so even though I don’t have to go to school, I had to go to work to practice.

” No, I just want to go to work. I have to go to the end of the month evaluation soon.”

” Just take a day off and the teachers there will understand if you tell them anyway.”

” The evaluation at the end of this month is a group stage evaluation, so I’ll just go.”

I don’t want to bother my teammates because of me.

” Are you okay?”

” Uh, I feel a little better after drinking the tea my mom gave me. If it hurts more, I’ll take some painkillers.”

” If you can’t stand it, just tell me and come home.”

” Okay.”

” But my daughter. “

” Huh? “

Mom reached out and put her hand on her chest inside her.

Startled, I hit her mother’s hand and crossed her arms.

” Ah! What are you doing!”

” Oh. My daughter~ “

I was still confused, but I was surprised to suddenly put my hand on her chest.

“Seeing her taking a shower earlier, I thought her breasts came out a little bit, but they’ve grown a lot?”

Ah.

” Wasn’t it uncomfortable when you danced?”

” It’s a bit inconvenient.”

As usual, when I dance these days, I feel shaken and rubbed.

“On my day off with my mom, I’m going to go buy her underwear too.”

I raised my hand and put it on her chest.

” Hmm. I’m sure it’s gotten a little bigger, right?”

” It gets bigger when you menstruate.”

I reached out again and put her hand on my mother’s chest.

The texture is similar.

” I will pass soon. “

Her mother goes into a rage when she touches her mother.

” Ha! My mom is much bigger than this when she gets her period too? It’s B when she gets her period too. B! “

I said to her mother, looking at her suspiciously.

” If that’s B, the average Korean woman is B.”

” Hey!”

But I’m glad my mom didn’t raise her hand because I’m on my period.

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.

.

I went to work enduring a stomach ache.

I went to work earlier than usual and went to the choreography practice room to find Seoyoon unnie.

“Dohee, are you here?”

“Huh.”

Seoyoon unnie lives in a nearby trainee group hostel, so she usually goes to work early in the morning.

” You came early today?”

” I just woke up early in the morning. I’m a bit tired.”

” You need to sleep a lot to grow taller.”

” Hey, you’ve almost caught up with your sister’s height already?”

Come to think of it, when menarche comes, after that, the height increases by an average of 5 to 8 cm for about 2 years and then stops.

I’m 163 cm tall right now, so if I do well, I’ll be over 170.

“Her sister is also in her growth phase. She hasn’t stopped yet.”

Her sister is 3 years older than me, so she is 16 years old, the age at which normal girls stop growing.

” Cheer up, sister.”

” It didn’t stop. Huh? Jiyeon and elegance.”

I opened the door and Ji-yeon and Woo-ah came in.

Ji-yeon unnie is one of the four new trainees this year. She is one year older than me, and she is the youngest if you exclude me.

From noble mtl dot com.

” Dohee~ “

Ah, my older sister rushed to me today as well.

I’m tired of telling you not to cling to me anymore.

” My sister is full of energy since morning. “

” Seeing Dohee gives me strength?”

I pushed my older sister away and greeted her younger sister.

” Hello sister Jiyeon. “

” Uh. “

Jiyeon unnie coldly replied.

This person keeps showing signs of hating me from before.

I don’t know why.

If you dare to show off, you’ll only lose yourself.

She decided to understand that she was still 14 so she was less immature.

As it got closer to 10:00, other trainees came in one by one and all 9 of them gathered.

Originally, there were 10 people, but one of the trainees who came in this year couldn’t stand the lesson because it was difficult and went out, so it became 9 people.

The evaluation at the end of this month is a group evaluation divided into 3 teams of 3 people each.

I teamed up with Naeun unnie, the eldest among the trainees, and Jiyeon unnie, the youngest excluding me.

We moved to the practice room next door for comfortable practice.

” First of all, let’s loosen up the body and put it together.”

Naeun unnie, who became the leader because she was the oldest, said.

“” Yes. “”

After stretching, we turned on the MR and started practicing on stage.

My part this time.

You have to step on the steps and sing while moving forward.

” I clap my hands for you who seem a little lonely.. “

At the moment, Ji-yeon’s movements overlapped.

After,

” Okay, let’s try again.”

Naeun unnie, the leader, interrupted the song and said.

” Yes. ” ” Yes! “

Every time I dance, I feel blood flowing from below and a wet unpleasant feeling, so I hope it ends soon.

Again part of the problem

” Tapping on you, who seems a little lonely… “

Again, the lines overlapped again in the same area.

I was afraid that if I, the younger brother, pointed it out, the atmosphere wouldn’t improve, so I decided to just say it.

” Unnie Ji-yeon, her staff keeps twisting and coming over to the line where I will go.”

Ji-yeon nodded her head slightly without saying anything.

She then went back to get some water from the fridge.

I thought it was fortunate that I understood, but for a moment, Ji-yeon unnie spoke as if talking to herself so that only I could hear it.

” Oh, that’s f*cking unlucky.”

Ha ha.

Damn it, it’s so damn hard to please a kid.

No, even if I make a mistake, I give up the center just because I want to be the center. Say hello first.

Are you going to get sick because you don’t like it that much?

Should I just tell the manager?

” Haa… “

I can only sigh.

Ah.

I feel like my menstrual cramps are getting worse because I’m annoyed.

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A few days later

End of Month Rating.

The last step is our team’s turn.

The representative spoke from the judges’ seat.

” Yes, this team consists of the eldest sister and two youngest members.”

“”” Yes. “””

” What did you prepare for the song?”

” These are the hand tips of Pastel Love sunbaenims. “

” Yes. Start.”

With a song, we started the stage.

The part of the problem where the traffic lines overlap.

This time too, Jiyeon’s mistake was repeated, but I naturally moved to the side and continued the stage as if I had intended.

Fortunately, except for that one time, we finished the stage without any mistakes.

” Hmm. “

Unlike usual, the CEO came up with a rush.

” First of all, did you guys decide on the center?”

“”” Yes. “””

” Hmm. I don’t understand.”

The CEO’s expression hardened.

” Why did Dohee take on the rap part? Didn’t she usually only do vocals or center?”

” …I was confident that my rapping skills had improved a lot.”

” No, Dohee, you sing better than rap.”

The representative came out straight.

To be honest, I wasn’t confident in rap either.

” Do you know why you do group evaluations?”

“”” … “””

” I don’t know. “

“”” I know. “””

” If you know, you shouldn’t do this. I don’t know what I want to show on stage, and it’s Jung-gu Heating. “

CEO put the microphone down.

Ah.

I’ll just be the center.

Evaluation of teacher Yerim, a dance trainer

” Lag. “

” Yes. “

” Do you think it’s obvious that the wire is twisted?”

” … “

” If it’s been half a year since you practiced, isn’t it basic to organize your movements?”

” … “

” Dohee and Naeun, you guys should answer. It’s basic, it’s not.”

“” … This is the default. “”

” Then what did you guys do? You didn’t help.”

Ha ha.

Judge Kwon, who is now a vocal teacher.

” The song was fine. “

After.

At least that’s a good evaluation.

” But the stage is bad, so I hate listening to the song.”

Lastly, team manager Jeong’s review.

” Let’s do better next time. If this is the case next time, there will be no next time. “

“”” Yes… “””

In the end, instead of praise, I only got cursed at.

Just because of a kid.

After the evaluation at the end of the month, when I came out, Woo-ah sister followed me and hugged me.

” It’s okay, Dohee, you did a really good job.”

” Whew. “

Wow, how nice it would be if you were like unnie.

It’s a sin to be the youngest.

If I was going to debut, I would like to be the leader.

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A few days later

When I went to the choreography practice room, the trainees’ end-of-month evaluation rankings were attached.

#1 Jiuah

#2 Kim Seoyoon

3Rd place, Sia Han

#4 Dohee Lee

5Th place Yeonji Song

#6 Naeun Kim

#7 Handa Ye

#8 Jiyeon Kim

Oh fourth place.

After going through a mess like a dog, it’s quite satisfying if you’re in 4th place.

But why is Boyeon Heo’s name not written on it?

After a while, the team leader brought Bo-yeon unni.

Her older sister’s eyes were bloodshot red.

” Guys, I have something to tell you. Bo-yeon will only be with you until today.”

It’s coming.

In the end, starting with Boyeon unnie’s crying, the practice room became a sea of tears.

After hugging and seeing her Bo-yeon older sister off, there was silence in the practice room where her Bo-yeon sister left.

Not a trainee who went out on his own, but a trainee who was released for the first time.

The time with the person who looked at one goal for the past year is over.

In the end, she knew it was going to happen someday because it was a competitive system, but she was distraught.

I went to the bathroom outside the practice room to wash my face.

I was washing my face and looking in the mirror, and there was Jiyeon unnie.

” I wish you.”

” Yes? “

” You won’t have to worry about being released.”

” What “

Before I could continue, Ji-yeon unnie said, cutting off.

From noble mtl dot com.

” Teachers, team leaders, and even the CEO only show favoritism to you.”

” What favoritism do you have?”

” Do you think I’m the only one who thinks so? Everyone thinks so. Don’t pretend to be nice and pretend to be pretty.”

Jiyeon unnie said that and left.

No what the f*ck did I do.

Is it a sin to be pretty, sing well, dance well, play the piano top class, and study well?

Is it a sin?

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On the way home from work and driving her mother’s car

After a while, my head cooled down a bit.

” Mom. “

” Huh? “

” If being pretty is a crime, I’m in prison for life, right?”

” What nonsense again.”

” No, I will be sentenced to death.”

” Did you have a hard time today?”

” He even sings well, dances well, plays the piano well, and even studies well. Can the death penalty wash away my sins?”

” It must have been very difficult.”

” Hey, I’m tired even though I’m so proud.”

“Let’s go home and get some rest.”

Ah, thinking about it again makes me angry.

” It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I screamed as I hit the car seat

” Oh, why are you so crazy…”

Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed Annoyed.

If I were a man like I was in my previous life, I would punch right away.

Such a b*tch.