I am Vardy

After Vardy won the honorary title of World Footballer, he felt a little floating.

I am the World Footballer!

If you don't blah blah blah blah, isn't it because of your funny reputation?

According to the usual practice, after a player wins a major award, he will bring the trophy to the stadium to show to the fans in the first home game, and accept congratulations and cheers from the fans.

But the problem is that this game is Manchester United's away game.

Or take the trophy to Villa Park and show it to the Aston Villa fans?

Although I may not know how I died, I guess it was a miserable death!

Forget it, teasing is not the same as committing suicide, so be honest!

But what do you do when you feel like you have no way to vent your energy?

Navela, I'm sorry for you, please don't resist, let me vent to my heart's content, okay?

Don't worry, I'll give you money if you put on your pants!

 …

Villa Park Stadium, the 19th round of the Premier League, Manchester United challenged Aston Villa away.

At the beginning of the game, Villa, who were playing at home, seemed to have been injected with chicken blood, screaming and rushing towards the Manchester United position.

Manchester United lost to West Ham United in the last game. Villa's strength may not be worse than the Hammers. The Hammers can beat Manchester United. Why can't Villa?

Perhaps with such a naive idea, the Villa coach intends to give Manchester United a bad start, even if they don't score, let Manchester United see whose territory it is!

Yo ha! Quite energetic!

Seeing his opponent so reckless, Vardy immediately became interested!

In front of me, the world's footballer, you still dare to resist?

If I don't score you a goal, you don't know that I am the World Footballer!

Call it, the louder you call, the happier I am!

Vardy completely released all his desires,

The small universe then exploded, and the entire stadium was overwhelmed by it.

Manchester United without Vardy is a first-class team, and Manchester United with Vardy is a super strong team. This is the difference between Manchester United's game and the previous game.

Vardy is like a passionate bull, sprinting and running without hesitation, smashing Villa's midfield to pieces. Without much preparation, Villa panicked all of a sudden!

Facts have proved that not everyone has the two strokes of a matador. When encountering a bull with red eyes, the first reaction is usually to run desperately with his balls in his arms.

The current situation of Villa's players is similar. Wherever Vardy goes, there is a mess of chickens and dogs, as if devils have entered the village.

Of course, Vardy will generally not cruelly pursue the three-lights policy. Generally, if you take the initiative to hand in your gun, I will not kill you!

Soon, under Vardy's unreasonable and brutal collision, Villa's midfield defense was revealed, and was gradually suppressed by Manchester United. Slowly, Manchester United also began to create murderous intentions again and again.

In the 13th minute of the first half, Vardy's midfielder used the collision to frighten his opponent to make a mistake and steal the ball, and then dribbled the ball directly to Villa's penalty area. He didn't even need any extraordinary action, as long as he found an empty space, Vardy just used it The speed can guarantee to throw off the opponent's defender.

Finally, after dribbling the ball all the way to the front of the penalty area, Vardy concentrated all his strength on his right foot, and volleyed heavily.

Break it for me!

With this kick, Vardy felt really cool!

There was no place to vent all the energy in my body before, and I felt that my kidneys were about to explode.

This time it finally found a vent, the ferocious flood rushed away, the ball seemed to erupt at the speed of light, and even a short vacuum appeared after the trajectory.

Explained in terms of classical mechanics... well, probably not...

The ball reached the goal in the blink of an eye, and the Villa goalkeeper had just predicted that Vardy would choose a burst shot, but faced with this burst shot, the Villa goalkeeper felt a deep sense of powerlessness.

Where is the ball? It's too damn fast, I can't see clearly at all!

Just when the Villa goalkeeper deeply doubted whether he was suitable to be a goalkeeper, the exclamation of the fans resounded through the stadium again!

There was panic in the exclamation, and Vardy's shot seemed to take away everyone's strength and courage. This shot was absolutely devastating.

But at this moment, a loud noise came from the sky, and the buzzing sound that followed seemed to be able to cause people's tinnitus.

Boom!

buzz-bum-bum

Puff————————

The moment the ball hit the crossbar, it was like a sledgehammer hitting everyone's chests, causing a feeling of stagnation that even made people unable to breathe.

The ball bounced back into the field, and the players on both sides woke up like a dream, wanting to fight for the second spot.

But why is the trajectory of the ball so weird?

Actually abducting in a way that cannot be described in words?

Are you drifting like Vardy?

When the ball hits the ground, everyone will see clearly!

I really don't blame the ball, because the ball couldn't bear Vardy's abuse and committed suicide!

Seeing the skin cracked and the inner tank collapsed, the ball fell on the ground in an extremely tragic state, well, let's call it a ball, everyone looked at each other in blank dismay, feeling sorry for each other.

What hatred and what resentment?

How hard is it to kick the ball to explode?

Normally speaking, the staff must check the game ball before the game, and the quality of the game ball is absolutely passable.

But with Vardy's kick, the goal post was almost not moved, and the ball exploded directly. Are you wearing a rocket booster on your foot?

Popeye eats spinach and his biceps swell like breast augmentation surgery. What did you eat? Why are your legs so strong?

Several Villa defenders quietly wiped their sweat while rejoicing in their hearts. Fortunately, they did not recklessly block Vardy's shot just now. Judging from the strength of this shot that can even explode the ball, it is boring. The face is directly patted into a cucumber.

The referee came over in disbelief, squatted on the ground and watched the ball for a full minute, as if paying tribute to the heroic feat of the ball committing suicide to preserve its name.

The fans in front of the TV were going crazy, this scene was too exciting.

Valdy is about to catch up with the self-propelled artillery. If this artillery hits someone, you can report directly to God!

Whoever dares to come over to block Vardy's shot in the future must first think about which of his teammates will get his girlfriend after he dies!

This is killing two birds with one stone. It not only taught the goalposts a lesson, but also cleaned up the ball. The two obstacles that prevented Vardy from scoring were all taken down by Vardy! The referee should be more careful, and now you are still alive and kicking!

Don't worry about Vardy's degeneration. Look at Vardy's energy. There is almost no place to vent it. He is almost turning into a monster!

 …

The game was finally restarted after the fourth official replaced the football with a see you look.

At this time, the aftereffects of Vardy's shooting began to spread in the hearts of Villa players.

Vardy, who is as fierce as a monster, do they still try to provoke him?

If the ball can't bear the humiliation, they can sacrifice their lives for righteousness, but they can't.

Who wants to die if they can live, even if they live like a dog!

So, Villa became withered, and they really couldn't stand up anymore.

But the question is, what should Vardy do if he still has the energy and nowhere to spread?

I'm sorry, anyway, I don't hold back!

So next, Vardy directly transformed into a fort, and the shells blasted out like money!

Villa players dare not block it at all. Even if they die, they will be considered martyrs and receive various subsidies. This job can't be done!

In the 22nd minute, Vardy shot a shot from the front of the penalty area and hit the post and flew out of the bottom line;

The Villa goalkeeper stood in front of the door with a sad face. He felt like a death row prisoner on the execution ground, waiting for Vardy, the executioner, to shoot himself at any time.

Looking at several Villa defenders with infinite resentment, the goalkeeper's meaning is very clear, can you defend a little bit, even if you put on a show!

But the guards shook their heads resolutely. Although they didn't speak, they expressed their meaning clearly - don't worry, we will take good care of your wife...

Uh, by the way, his wife is really beautiful, just thinking about it makes my mouth water...

In the 24th minute, it was Vardy again, with the same posture and the same angle, but this time the unlucky guy appeared. A Villa defender didn't even dodge, and hit the leg socket behind his knee, kneeling him directly!

The sirens of the ambulance sounded at the Villa Park Stadium, and it felt like the tragedy on earth had begun!

Looking at the Villa defender lying on the ground pretending to be dead, Vardy felt that this guy should really be lucky.

The toe of my toe is definitely higher than that of Liverpool defender Riise. Fortunately, it hit the back of a knee that can bend. If it hit the bone directly, it is estimated that this guy will not escape the end of the fracture. Even if it is not shattered, it must be click. one time.

The injured Villa defender was carried on a stretcher, and all Villa players looked at Vardy with fear.

How is this funny!

Obviously the Great Demon King?

There are many players in the Premier League who play very dirty football. They often make disgusting fouls with small moves where the referee can't see. They even intentionally foul and cause opponents to be injured, and then pretend to be innocent to win sympathy.

As long as you pay attention to guard against such a player, the problem is really not big, and if he fouls seriously, he will be condemned by public opinion.

But Vardy is different, this guy is not called a foul at all, it's just blatantly pissing you off!

People are shooting, you can't find fault, and you are afraid of getting hurt, so don't defend!

This is simply an unsolvable proposition.

The coach of Villa is about to cry, you can do it, if you go on like this, I won't be enough for three substitutions.

Finally, at the end of the first half, Vardy blasted Villa's goal with a powerful shot, helping Manchester United take the lead.

Although the ball was lost, Villa could not help but breathe a sigh of relief.

Now that you have scored goals and vented, can you go down and rest?

We provide a free bus to take you home. There is air conditioning, coffee, red wine, and beautiful women in the bus. As long as you don't continue to kill yourself, everything is negotiable!

Come on, Cuihua, get in the car!

But is Vardy so easily corroded by sugar-coated bullets?

A beautiful woman wants to bribe me?

At least two, right?

Therefore, Vardy felt that Vera was very insincere, and he should continue to fight until the opponent couldn't even tell.