How to Raise Your Regressor

"I see." The middle-aged man's eyes twitched a bit. "So you're the piece of shit who got an executive position by getting in the good graces of the Guild Master."

Bruh.

"So it would seem." I shrugged.

I mean, as unfortunate as it is, he's not exactly wrong about that.

Usually, the position of an executive is given to a trusted comrade who has proven his abilities through hard work.

However, in my case, Azell just served the position to me, a suicidal child he met for the first time, on a silver platter just because he pitied me (probably, unless he has a nefarious goal for keeping me, a second Samur, around).

Anyway, it seemed my nonchalant response had irritated the middle-aged man even further.

"Ha, so you do realise what you have done." He scoffed.

"I'm known for my ability to objectively view a situation." I smiled.

However, it wasn't me who got into the good graces of Azell; it was him who picked me up and dropped me in his own good graces.

Which sounds kinda weird, now that I think about it.

Well, whatever.

"…If you have any shame, step down from your position and leave."

"So that you can replace me?"

Like, this is the first time he has met me.

From an objective point of view, he has absolutely no idea of what I'm capable of, so him asking me to resign means that he has something to gain from me doing so.

Why else would he ask me to step down?

"Me? As if I could develop something." He shook his head. "There is someone who's more deserving of that position than you."

Oh my.

"Well, what makes you think that I don't deserve the position I have been granted?"

Let's pass some time I mean find out the motivation behind this guy's hatred for me so that I can resolve it in a way that benefits us both.

⟦⟦Wow.⟧⟧

[Look, a dynamic situation such as this one is infinitely better than having an awkward conversation with Voloha.]

⟦⟦Fair enough.⟧⟧

"What?" The man raised his eyebrow.

"I mean, if you are asking me to step down from my position, you must believe that I'm a no-good piece of shit who's unable to achieve anything, right?"

"Well, yeah." He replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Bruh. This guy's hella rude.

Maybe I should dress him up like a pinata.

"And on what basis are you assuming that? Have you perhaps seen the results of my research with your own eyes?"

⟦⟦Imagine if he said yes.⟧⟧

[To the guillotine would he go then.]

I mean, I definitely haven't done any research work after coming to this world, so for him to have witnessed the results of my work would mean he has been spying on my previous lives.

If that is true, there exists a possibility of him knowing my true identity.

And if he knows that I'm the First Being… then well, tough luck, motherfucker.

"I… haven't."

Huh, lucky guy.

"Then?"

"I just know it."

"What?"

"Well…" His eyes scanned me from top to bottom. "I know my friend, and he's the best scientist around."

Wow.

"I see." I nodded. "Then let's do this. Ah, but before that, why don't you take a seat?"

I don't imagine standing to be comfortable. Besides, he's attracting attention by standing right in the middle of the cafeteria.

"I'm good."

"Alright. So, as I was saying, let's make a wager."

"What kind of wager?"

"One which is incredibly advantageous for you."

"Hoh…" He scowled. "Go ahead."

"The bet is simple; if I'm able to produce something which makes your friend admit that I'm a better scientist than him, I win. If I lose, I'll hand over my position as the R&D Head to your friend."

"And what if you win?" He asked with a smile he could hardly suppress.

"If I win, you'll stop pestering me."

"Is that it?"

"Yup."

Like someone of his calibre could give me something I desire.

"Aren't the odds stacked against you?" His eyes widened.

"Yes, that's what I said. Also, the time limit will be one month."

⟦⟦Will you be able to do it?⟧⟧

[Is that a joke?]

Is he seriously asking whether I, the man who created the Universe, will be able to create something amazing enough to make this middle-aged man's friend kneel before me?

⟦⟦I'm serious.⟧⟧

[Well, it depends.]

⟦⟦On what?⟧⟧

[On whether I find this wager amusing enough to remember it.]

I came up with this bet as a joke and because I wanted to pass some time while having dinner.

No way in hell am I betting an executive level position just because a dodgy wanker thinks I'm not worthy of it.

I don't give a fuck.

"And how can I be sure that you'll keep your promise if you lose?" He crossed his arms.

This guy has some serious trust issues, huh.

I mean, he's right because I don't plan to follow through this bet at all, but he still needs to attend some workshops on team work, trust et cetera.

"I shall be the witness." However, like the Devil ascending from Hell with the sole goal of taking me back with him, Voloha spoke up.

Hmmm, I'm fucked.

⟦⟦Really? You could easily win if you wanted to.⟧⟧

[I'd win even if I didn't want to. The problem is with my principles.]

⟦⟦You have principles? Since when?⟧⟧

This motherfucker.

[My principle is to not pay any heed to what the wankers around me say. Participating in this bet means his word holds some value to me, which is absolutely wrong; I truly don't give a fuck about what a bystander has to say about me.]

⟦⟦Tell that to Voloha.⟧⟧

[But if I do, I'll confirm to the middle-aged man that I have no intention of following through this bet, which will infuriate him. As a result, he would pester me even more, making the truth more trouble than it's worth.]

⟦⟦In other words, you're fucked.⟧⟧

[Yea, that's what I said, smartass.]

"And who are you?" The middle-aged man asked.

Heh.

In his mind, the middle-aged man probably wrote Voloha off as a random child I had brought with me to show off my workplace.

And boy oh boy, is he in for a surprise.

"I'm the Princess." Voloha smiled sweetly, but that smile never reached her eyes.

In fact, the gaze she was giving to the middle-aged man was something masochists would die to get a glimpse of.

"…" The man's eyes widened to their extreme while his jaw dropped to the ground and started digging to get even further down. "M-my deepest apologies, Your Majesty." He hurriedly bowed.

"Whatever." Voloha scoffed. "Now, like I said, I shall act as the witness for this bet, unless, of course, the word of the royalty holds no value for you." Her gaze sharpened even further.

"N-no such thing, Your Majesty."

"Good." She smiled. "I look forward to the results of this bet. Of course, I already know who's going to win."

"…" The man silently glanced at me.

This should have raised my worth in his eyes a bit.

Or maybe it dropped down, because he now believed that I got this position through my connection with the Princess.

Well, who cares.

"You can leave now." Voloha commanded.

"Yes, Your Majesty." The man gave a courteous bow and left.

In fact, he left the cafeteria itself. F for him

⟦⟦Why?⟧⟧

[For him to be in the cafeteria means he was here to satiate his hunger, but Voloha just shooed him away. That middle-aged man will now have to sleep with an empty stomach.]

⟦⟦Or he could just go to a different restaurant where there are no Princesses or First Beings.⟧⟧

[Maybe.]

But that would be boring, and boredom has no part in my life.

Anyway, we resumed our dinner.

Ah, Voloha was about to say something before the middle-aged man showed up, wasn't she?

Should I ask about it?

Hmm, nah. It was probably something dumb, so let's let sleeping dogs lie.

"About what I was saying before." She said while playing around with her food.

…

"Yes?"

Good grief.

⟦⟦As they say, if you want something, the Universe does its absolute best to make sure you don't get it.⟧⟧

[I probably need to whoop this Universe's ass someday.]

It's literally making the life of its creator harder smh. Dumb bitch.

"Would it be alright for us to meet again?" She asked, her eyes fidgeting a bit.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

"Sure."

As long as you don't become more trouble than you're worth.

"Thanks." A smile blossomed on her face.

Huh, I didn't think she would be this happy.

⟦⟦Love.⟧⟧

[No.]

Absolutely not.

I'll develop a magic spell to eliminate her feelings if that's what it takes to make sure she doesn't love me.

⟦⟦What the fuck?⟧⟧ He exclaimed.

[I'm unable to return her feelings of love, so it's better to eliminate them altogether to avoid hurting her.]

⟦⟦Oof.⟧⟧

[Oof indeed.]

⟦⟦Have you considered the option of facing her feelings head on by directly telling her that you do not love her? That way, even after facing the first rejection of her life, she would still be able to move on and grow in her own way. As they say, suffering makes you stronger.]

Wow.