How to Raise Your Regressor

"I don't want to go anywhere, Ms. Jennifer."

Although I am absolutely sure that the diplomatic route won't go anywhere because 'Wankers', but let's try it nonetheless.

Maybe, just maybe, she'll find it in herself to spare me from that atrocious breakfast.

"When I was first summoned in the tutorial, I was left all alone," Jennifer ignored me like I was the oldest of 17 children of a family. "There was no one there to look after me, protect me, or even teach me even the most basic of survival skills. I learned all of that myself, and I conquered the tutorial solely with my own strength."

Oh, that's where she was talking about going. Phew.

Even though the diplomatic route didn't work, I don't have to eat a fucking breakfast so it's all kosher.

"When I finally cleared the tutorial and officially entered this World, I got absolutely useless skills. I didn't even have the ability to use magic, you know," the Guild Leader with the useless skills continued.

"So, no Guild recruited you?"

"They didn't even spare a glance at me," she scoffed.

F.

"Why? As someone who cleared the so-called Tutorial alone, you should have been in high demand."

Looks like the Guilds of her time were dumb.

"Probably because I only barely escaped with my life, and I was overshadowed by the Tutorial clearing team that had made a record."

Imagine giving it your all to overcome an absolutely terrifying, life changing, despair inducing situation, and not even getting any recognition because some motherfucker did it faster than you.

Brutal.

"Those guilds must still be grinding their asses in regret, then."

"They no longer exist."

Wut.

"Uh, wiping them out just because they didn't pay attention to you sounds like an overreaction to me, Ms. Jennifer."

This woman is suffering from some serious mental issues (classic New Dawn Guild member).

Which means there is an opportunity for a play here.

Time to ignore her like she was my will to live so that she can put an end to my misery.

"I didn't do anything to them, you idiot!" She snapped at me. "They just didn't stand the tests of time."

"Oh."

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

"Why do you sound disappointed?"

"Everyone likes a good underdog revenge story."

"What?" Her eyebrows rose in 'Did this guy seriously just say that?'.

"Ahem! Anyway, what happened next?"

"…Wait, why am I narrating my life story to you?" She scowled.

She noticed it quite late.

"Believe me, you aren't the first."

*ptsd flashbacks to the time the New Dawn Guild wankers told me their unoriginal life stories*

"Huh?"

Hmm, I wonder if they told those stories to every member they recruited.

"Besides, isn't it irresponsible of you to leave me hanging just before the climax?"

It's like jumping off a cliff to commit die but right before you splatter your brains on the ground you go unconscious so you don't know whether you lived or died I mean it's like someone pulled me off right as I was about to creampie that phat, juicy ass.

Whew.

"There's not much to say," she shrugged. "From there on, I started adventuring, alone. I learned how to use magic and my shitty skills, and used them to solo dungeons. There were many times when my life was in danger, but each time, I had only myself to rely on to survive."

"A professional loner, huh?"

Yikes.

"It wasn't by choice, okay?"

"Okay. Please continue."

"After a very long time, I decided to make a Guild with the very few friends I had made over the years. Friends that were from Earth."

"Oh my, a twist."

A sudden introduction of friends even though her entire thing was 'I was alone'? Sounds like inconsistent writing to me.

"…This entire world was against us. They didn't want someone like me to form a Guild. But we persisted against that uphill battle and finally got where we are. So yes, we achieved everything on our own."

Interesting how her 'I' has changed to 'we'.

"A nice happy ending."

From the beginning to the end, Jennifer's story was cliché. It gets a 4/10 from me, chief. It could have been slightly higher if not for the glaring plot hole.

Of course, this score may change based on how she met her friends, and what kind of uphill battles she faced to get to the point where she is at right now.

Jennifer would do well if she took some storytelling classes.

"Is it, though? How can it be happy when you're telling me that after all that I've been through, I'm the Sword that the world 'prepared'?" The tone of her voice rose and her gaze sharpened. "The same world that tried so hard to kill me? The same world that tried its absolute best to put me down? That piece of shit world prepared me? Absolute bullshit!" She slammed her fist on the bed.

Huh. Interesting.

"Got a bit heated there, didn't you?"

Well, Jennifer was supposed to be a hot-headed person, so losing her cool when her very basis of identity was questioned is in character for her.

"…Perhaps," she averted her gaze to avoid meeting my eyes.

And she's embarrassed now. How cute.

"Also, from what I have gathered from your life story, you didn't do everything on your own. You had help from your wonderful friends. You are doing them dirty by saying that you alone got where you are."

If I was her friend, I would have jumped off a window.

"Well, I didn't make any friends until after a long time. And I gave them credit where it was due; the Old Blood Guild wouldn't be here if they hadn't stood by my side. But they are from Earth, so my point still stands."

Trying to defend ourselves, are we?

"Well, I do see where you are coming from, but you are mistaken."

"Hoh? How so?" Her eyes narrowed.

Looks like she took it in the wrong way.

"The World I am talking about is different from what you believe it to be."

"Which world are you talking about, then?"

"I'm talking about the actual World we are currently in."

"You mean Osud?"

Osud? Seems like this is the name of this world.

And here I was hoping that I would never have to learn the name of this godforsaken world. Sed.

Well, I'll probably forget it in the next 30 seconds so it doesn't matter.

"Yes," I nodded. "This literal piece of rock that's floating through space is what prepared you as the Sword."

"How… how can this world prepare me for anything? Isn't it just a piece of rock?"

"The thing we call the world is a very interesting concept, actually. You might think it's just a lifeless spherical rock on which you live, but it actually has a will; or something resembling it, at the very least. And its will dictates it to live. So once the World sensed the threat of the Aggressors, it prepared the Sword to combat them."

"…That honestly sounds like made up, to be honest."

"But it is true."

"So you are saying that everything that has happened to me so far was actually played out on the hands of this World?"

"Not exactly. The preparation process of the Sword is very complex. To put it simply, the World put you in situations which, if conquered, would benefit you greatly. So your statement was technically true. It was really you and your Earthling friends who got you where you are; it's just that the World put you in the right place at the right time."

In other words, while it was Jennifer who conquered everything that came her way, it was the World that gave her those things to conquer.

"…" Jennifer squinted. "So what you are saying is… this world manipulated the events of my life in order to turn me into a weapon it could use to protect itself."

Wow, she somehow made it sound so much worse without actually saying anything wrong.

It's commendable.

"In a way, yes."