How to Raise Your Regressor

"Hoh, boy."

Finally, I was in front of the HQ of the bloody bois. Well, I say HQ but I don't know whether this Guild has any other branches than their main one.

So let's just say that I'm finally at the Guild house of the bloody bois.

Getting here took longer than I thought because apparently, my body's directional sense is also shiet.

On my way here, I was pondering over life's important questions, such as whether I should drink a chocolate shake or coffee when I wake up. As I was so lost in my thoughts, I entrusted the navigation to my body, and it somehow made a full circle back to the New Dawn Guild.

For a moment, I thought that the bloody bois had copied our Guild house design and was about to sue them.

At this point, I'm probably better off designing a new body for myself than trying to fix this one. Doing so would also allow me to choose the physical aspects that suit me, so bonus points for that.

Hmm, for starters, the new body should have 4 arms, a pair of retractable wings as well as variable dick I mean immense physical strength, stamina and endurance so that I can finally stop panting like a malnourished puppy after running for 7 seconds.

Well, that's something I'll think about some other day. For now, let's focus on this so-called exchange programme.

To be honest though, I don't even remember why I suggested this exchange programme. Most probably, I was just lying on my bed like a corpse and thought, 'Hey, an exchange programme sounds fun'.

Anyway, the bloody bois' Guild house was just across the road. It was a rather normal looking 3-storey building, but to the trained eye, it was anything but that.

Well, that's what I'd like to assume because, you know, I'm myopic which is the opposite of a 'trained eye'.

Which reminds me, I have yet to get a pair of glasses.

Who would have thought that making Elixirs, creating a shadow organisation which apparently controls the world from behind the scenes, researching and developing new equipment for my Guild members, taking care of a freeloading cat and sleeping 14 hours a day would result in me not having any time for myself?

Crazy, right?

There's probably a lesson to be learned here, like managing my time better and thinking before making decisions or whatever, but doing so would be the mature thing to do.

And as I always say, maturity is overrated.

Anyway, I digress (I really need to do something about my easily distracted nature).

I crossed the road without looking left or right because I'm a bad boi and arrived at the entrance.

Surprisingly, the large door to the Guild was open, as if welcoming me into the darkness that lay beyond it.

Either these guys are too confident, or someone forgot to close the door before going to sleep.

The entrance, however, was flanked on both sides by a statue.

Each of the statues was 3 metres tall and resembled the classic Gryphon. Interestingly enough, I could feel that the Gryphons' gazes at me, as if they were sizing me up to determine whether I was a visitor or a threat.

What an exotic security system.

Nice.

I hope they conclude that I'm an intruder, lunge at me with their claws and end my life right here.

Feeling hopeful, I walked up the stairs to the entrance and took a step inside.

"...Damnit," I sighed.

The Gryphons didn't judge me to be a threat and simply let me in.

Sed.

Oh well, I still have 'that'.

Anyway, what greeted me when I stepped in was a lobby, and a receptionist was sitting at the desk.

Given the fact that she was still wide awake and alert, as demonstrated by her sharp gaze turning to me the moment I entered, it seemed that she took her job very seriously.

The members of the New Dawn Guild should copy a page from her book. Well, I don't remember any of them slacking off on their jobs, but they are wankers, so yea.

Copy a page.

"You must be Mr. Samur," the receptionist called out to me in a cold tone.

She's acting like I stole her cat or something.

Wait, what if she's the rumoured witch?

"Yes."

She glanced at the watch on her right wrist, "You are quite late."

Wow, no need for that sass, Ms. Receptionist.

"My apologies. We had a situation back at our Guild."

"Is that so?" She raised her eyebrow.

Hmm, looks like she was forced to stay awake to receive me. That would explain her crankiness.

"That is so. I'm sorry you had to work overtime because of me, but it was unavoidable."

"Hmm? These are my normal working hours."

Wut?

"So, are you always like this, or is it just me?"

Don't tell me this woman hates me or something.

If yes, then this could be an opportunity to get brutally murdered.

"Yes, I'm always like THIS," she scowled slightly.

Oh, no murders, I guess.

Another sed.

"Well, keep up the good work, I suppose," I flashed her a thumbs up.

"Thanks," she smirked slightly. "The Guild Leader is waiting for you. Follow me."

As expected, Jennifer also stayed up to greet me.

What a nice woman, assuming she doesn't want to send me on some top-secret dangerous mission that only she knows about and only I can return from.

Hmm, the latter is a more credible explanation for her hospitality.

Maybe I should have taken Azell's offer to come tomorrow.

Oh well, there's not much I can do right now, other than rewinding time, and killing myself, and just straight up leaving.

Anyway, Ms. Cranky Receptionist got up and went up the stairs, and I quietly followed her.

We reached the first floor then took a right. Moments later, she knocked on a door at the end of the hallway.

"He's here," she said.

"Send him in," came the voice from inside.

It was the voice of Jennifer, the guild leader of the bloody bois.

I'm genuinely surprised I didn't just forget what she sounded like. Perhaps my memory is not as hopeless as I thought it was.

"A word of advice," the receptionist leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Keep your tongue in check."

"Which means?"

What the hell does she mean by that?

Does she think I'll be so enamoured by her beauty that the moment I'll lay my eyes on her, I'll just howl like a wolf with my eyes popping out and my tongue rolling out like a fucking carpet?

Jesus.

"Curb your sarcasm."

Well, that came outta nowhere. Ms. Receptionist here seems to have phenomenal people reading skills.

"I'd rather die."

"What?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I mean don't worry, even I know the TOP of sarcasm."

"..." she scowled again. "Well, consider yourself warned."

"I'm very warned indeed."

"Alright, then," she opened the door and ushered me in. "Good luck," she said before closing it.

Good luck? Bruh, she's acting like she's sending me in the jaws of a Dragon or some shit.

...

Let's just hope there is no cliché subplot like 'Jennifer turns into a different person altogether after midnight'.

The room I had entered didn't have much in it. There was a desk, a sofa set with a table (probably to entertain guests), and some other necessary furniture.

For an office of the Guild leader of the Old Blood Guild, it was quite minimalistic.

"Welcome, Samur," the red-haired woman sitting behind the desk greeted me.

"I'm home."

Oh shit.

"Home?" Jennifer asked confusedly.

"Well, this is going to be my home for the time being, is it not?"

Ez save.

"I guess," she shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway, you sure took your sweet time getting here. You were supposed to be here by yesterday evening. We even prepared a welcoming party for you."

Thank God Lecia got kidnapped yesterday. My experience with parties hasn't been stellar, after all.

The last party traumatised me because they didn't have a tank full of chocolate shake I could frown myself in, while I poisoned to death in the party before that one.

"I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Jennifer," I slightly bowed my head. "It simply could not be helped. We had a situation at our Guild that required my presence."

"Oh? What situation?" She put her elbows on the desk and placed her chin on the back of her hands.

Trying to look cool, eh?

"One of our Guild Members was kidnapped."

"Oh... and you thought that more important than being on time for a meeting with me?"

The fuck?