How to Raise Your Regressor

"Far be it from me to question your… divine intellect, but I just have to ask. Why me?"

"…" Lecia's glare got shaper and she clenched her jaw even harder.

Well, I would have been really surprised, not to mention confused, if my words had not angered her. Though it's another story that she was already angry due to the things I said before.

Now that I think about it, isn't this turning into a loop, where I say something and Lecia gets pissed, then I say some other thing and Lecia gets even more pissed?

Nice.

Hmm, but how far can I take it; how many iterations can this loop have?

Can it go for infinity? Or will there come a point where Lecia will become accustomed to my words and become indifferent no matter what I say?

Or is there a point above which Lecia's wrath cannot grow no matter how hard I try?

Hmm, this sounds like a nice experiment to conduct to pass time I mean to better understand human emotions.

However, as amusing as it sounds, it's an experiment that has to be conducted in an isolated environment.

Right now, there's the risk that going any further will cause Azell and Neia to intervene. I can't let that happen because these wankers will definitely find a way to somehow ruin my epic prank.

"I mean, surely I'm not the only who has had a happy childhood," I continued. "Take a look at Azell. He probably had a happier childhood than mine."

Unless he regressed to the age of 5 and has been working to save the world since then. If yes, then yea, sorry mate.

"…" Azell wordlessly frowned, as if trying to make sense of my actions and words.

No need to think so hard, Azell, it's all to turn Lecia into your loyal subordinate who'll fulfil all your commands no matter what they are.

Of course, she'll also become obsessed with you and probably stab any woman who so much as glances at you, but hey, the good comes with the bad.

Besides, I don't think you are in the position to worry about your methods; you have to save the world, after all.

Assuming the reason you regressed was to save the world.

Hmm, what if he travelled back in time just to save a lover from slipping over a banana peel and cracking open their head or something?

Or worse, what if in his previous life, he was a tyrant who failed in his conquest to conquer the world and came back in time to try a second time?

Eh, we'll see.

"You can also look at Neia…" my eyes met our friendly Dragon. "…Well, maybe not her, but just take a look at the people around you."

"Oi," Neia frowned.

"You will find countless examples of people who have had a happier childhood than you. Going by your logic, they should not be able to understand your pain, and thus, they should be responsible for ruining your life. So why is it only me that you are blaming?"

Lecia has been discriminating against me. Racist and sexist.

"…Azell is different," Lecia replied.

"Why? Because he understood the sorrow that is buried deep within your heart?"

That sounds so edgy. Ew.

"Yes!"

Perfect. My plan to turn him into some sort of God-like figure in Lecia's mind is going really well.

"Alright then, let's put him aside. Who else understands you?"

"…"

"No one, am I right? So why am I the only one being blamed?"

"Because no one else did what you did!" She exclaimed.

Woah, that's a fair point. It sure came out of left field.

Don't tell me this is an argument where I actually have to work hard to win; that's not how a quarrel with Lecia is supposed to go, goddamnit.

"As previously established, I did what I did because I did not understand your pain. But let's put that aside and return to a question I asked before; was what I did really that bad?"

Grow up, Lecia.

"Of-"

"Let's look at it from an objective point of view while keeping in mind the context, the purpose and the information WE had. What happened back then boils down to this; you got kidnapped and sent a distress signal which I received. I followed our protocol and tried to negotiate, but the negotiations failed, partly because of me and partly because of Tristan. So, after determining that the situation had gone out of my hands and informing you about the same, I passed the baton to Azell, who then did whatever he did. Am I correct?"

"Are you not going to mention the way you acted?" Lecia scoffed.

Oh boy.

"Things like that don't go in a summary, Lecia. Anyway that's the basic gist of the situation you're blaming me for. Now, the context here is that even though your ring was broadcasting your location, Tristan had already noticed its true purpose and was using proxies to bounce the signal around the continent."

"He wouldn't have known if you hadn't told him!"

Damn, Lecia's on fire. She has been spitting out logical points one after the other.

"No, Tristan knew right from the very beginning," I lied. "Why else would I tell him? Or did you think I'm dumb enough to let such a vital piece of information slip out?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Lecia snorted.

Smart.

"Anyway, the second point to be considered is that Tristan had absolutely no intention of giving you up in exchange for money, as he admitted in his conversation with Azell."

Azell was like, 'What conversation?'

"And how were YOU so sure that he wouldn't, hmm?"

"Two reasons; first, Tristan wasn't kidnapping you, he was retrieving you. Second, not once in his career of 27 years has Tristan handed someone over in return for money."

This, by the way, wasn't bullshit.

Assuming Tristan didn't lie to me.

"What?" Lecia's eyebrows rose.

"What, don't tell me that you actually thought that we would never investigate your background. The moment your father appeared and demanded you, we looked into the history of you and everyone related to you. Tristan, of course, was one of them. Why else do you think I asked Anemone to keep you from going out?"

Hmm, let's see if she can notice the loophole in this story.

"…" Lecia stared at me in sheer surprise.

Looks like she cannot.

"And that's how I knew that negotiations were bound to fail. Tristan's sole objective was to repossess you at all costs. He was going to leave the moment he fell into your hands, so I had to talk about negotiations to stall him."

"T-then what-"

"As for my way of doing things, I acted that way to make you psychologically unstable and lower Tristan's guard by making him think that he could manipulate you. Which is exactly what he did. He took the risk of staying there just so he could take advantage of your instability and make you take his side voluntarily. And that gave Azell enough time to get in position."

"Eh?"

"Remember what I said about informing Azell after the situation got out of my hand? That was a lie. Azell was aware of your predicament right from the very beginning."

"W-what?"

You fell for it, fool.

"In fact, he was the one who got your distress signal, not me, and it was him who asked me to do everything I just explained to you. All in order to save you."

Azell made an expression that said, 'I genuinely have no idea what the fuck he's talking about'.

"From the beginning to the end, everything was by Azell's design."

As I said, get pranked.