How to Raise Your Regressor

"Because the motherfuckers inside that warehouse are holding Lecia captive," I dropped this huge bomb on her.

This should be way outside her expectations (would be both weird and epix if she did expect this revelation though).

｢…What?｣ Neia stupidly eked out.

Looks like she didn't. Sed.

"Yup, you heard that right. Lecia has been kidnapped, and the kidnappers have locked her inside that warehouse."

｢Lecia?｣

"Yes."

｢Our Lecia?｣

"I wouldn't exactly call her ours; she4not an object. The more correct term would be 'Lecia, the 13-year-old girl and the newest member of the New Dawn Guild who joined the core team on Azell, the Guild Master's recommendation'."

Wow, that was more like a full blown sentence.

Hmm, but 'more correct sentence' sounds weird, for some reason.

This begs the question; what should be chosen between technically correct statements and statements that sound pleasantly to the ear?

Like, should we say, 'Among the countless stars in the night sky, only the moon knows what's it's like to shine the brightest' or should we say, 'In the dark night sky the moon reflects the light of the sun most efficiently, not to mention that it's incredibly close to us compared to other stars, that's why it looks the brightest'.

Dunno what the answer is, but just imagining someone saying the second statement makes my skin crawl for some reason.

Oof.

｢Samur… I'm going to ask this once, and only once. Are you joking?｣

"…"

｢Go on.｣

"Haha, just kidding."

｢Ha,｣ she heaved another sigh of relief. ｢I thought so.｣

"Haha, just kidding."

｢You just said that.｣

"Yea, well, that was for my previous statement."

｢What?｣

"The second just kidding was for the first just kidding. In other words."

｢In other words?｣

"I was saying the truth, and Lecia is indeed inside that building."

｢…｣

"And it's possible that while we're wasting our time by discussing the authenticity of my statement, Leica is going through some horrible things."

Like forced confession aka torture.

｢…｣

"So, let's get on with it."

｢Okay, let's say that Lecia is indeed inside that warehouse. Then why are WE trying to rescue her alone?｣

A logical question, wow.

Hmm, how should I explain this to her?

"Rescue missions are supposed to be covert. They have to be carried out in absolute secrecy. Ideally, the enemy shouldn't even know that we have rescued the hostage until we are out of the area of their influence. Bringing in a large force would only achieve the opposite by scaring the kidnappers and making them run away with Lecia."

I made this up on the spot but boy oh boy, this sounds extremely logical.

Nice one, me.

｢If infiltration is what is needed, you should have brought Noelle. She could have gone in and out without anyone even noticing.｣

Ah, right, Noelle is an assassin. Stealth should be one of her strong suits.

But, hmm… yea, bringing her would have been more trouble than it's actually worth.

Too many questions would have sprung up in her mind (like why I know Lecia is here), and her overly curious ass would have relentlessly pursued them by pestering me until she got satisfactory answers.

Besides, I'm a bit afraid of being alone in a dark forest with her. What if she decides to extract vengeance for my epic prank and stabs me in the stomach 47 times?

That would be a yikes from me.

I mean, I want to die, but I've had enough of  being stabbed in the dark by women I know.

Neia, on the other hand, is a bit familiar with my… quirky nature (yes, I'm self-aware).

She wouldn't look that deeply into my decisions or my method of solving things. And even if she did, she would only ponder over them secretly without bothering me.

So yea, all in all, Noelle would have been a huge pain in the ass.

"To fool them."

｢How?｣

"In case you don't remember, I'm operating under the assumption that the enemy knows we are here and is thus keeping an eye on our every move. It would also be safe to assume that at the very least, they have performed a basic background check on us."

｢Which means?｣

"If they have indeed looked into our identities, they must know that you are a Dragon with zero attack power which means you cannot do anything to them. I, on the other hand, should just be one of the latest members of the Guild. To them, a 12-year-old child is not a threat. That's why, they are bound to underestimate us."

｢You mean…｣

"Yup. To the kidnappers, we should be a pair of overconfident wankers who underestimated them and came to rescue Lecia alone. Assuming they know we are here, right now, they should be preparing traps to capture us."

Which would include using Lecia as a bargaining chip.

However, that's on the assumption that they're underestimating us. I doubt that they are, however. Not Mr. Kidnapper, at least.

It would be weird for him to estimate the guy who took out his entire team within a matter of seconds.

｢Ah… wait, doesn't that mean you're walking into a trap!?｣

It sure took her some time to understand that. Neia's problem-solving skills aren't the best, it would seem.

"Yup."

｢That's incredibly dangerous. I-｣

"Oh, come on, I'm the guy who set a new world record, remember? Finessing these motherfuckers would be more than easy."

｢There's a huge difference between monsters and humans who have abandoned all humanity.｣

That's a fair point, actually. Dealing with evil humans is more difficult than monsters.

"Of course. However, it just so happens that I'm more adept at dealing with the latter."

I doubt they could be more evil than me.

｢Huh?｣

"Just wait and watch. Anyway, I've reached the place."

I actually couldn't see where exactly I was, courtesy of the thick foliage around me which obscured my view. But according to the calculations I made when I was on that hill, the hideout should be right in front of me, just behind those bushes.

｢Ah!｣ Neia exclaimed in realisation.

I obviously hadn't stopped my j;ourney to the warehouse to discuss the rationale behind my decisions with Neia; that would have been incredibly stupid and inefficient, especially when we consider that Lecia is currently sitting inside that warehouse as a hostage.

Only God knows what she's going through right now. I doubt Mr. Kidnapper is stupid enough to physically harm her right now, but there truly is no way to measure someone's level of idiocy by talking to them only once.

It's entirely possible that Lecia is being tortured to get information about the New Dawn Guild.

If that is the case, then, uh, yea, sorry, Lecia.. My bad.