How to Raise Your Regressor

"I want to be as fearless towards death as you," Clementine said.

…

...

...…

Goddamnit.

I was jebaited by my own little sister, the same sister who I tried to kill to literally minutes ago and who I was planning to fool through the long con.

This is seriously just wow.

I have no words to describe my emotional state.

You know what? Fuck this shit, I'm out.

"I see," I nodded. "Anyway, you've already seen what you were here to see, right? So run along, we still have some things to do."

i.e. get the fuck out of here, you damn prankster.

Like, why did she do this? Why did she have to break my heart like that? Because I tried to kill her by blowing her brains out?

I mean, come on, I just tried to kill you. It's not like I actually killed you or something, Clementine. Show some emotional maturity and learn to forgive.

Stupid fucking piece of shit.

"No, wait, please do it to me again," she implored.

This girl is also seriously mentally unstable.

Azell should just rename this guild to Mentally Unstable Guild or something.

Huh, I could have probably come up with a better name than that. Gotta try harder next time.

"No, thank you. Now, run along," I repeated myself, this time with a sterner tone.

"W-what happened?"

"Look, I'm trying to mend a broken heart, and you being here is really not helping me. So, please, leave me alone."

I need some time to recover from this betrayal.

Like, seriously, trillions and trillions of years of lives during which I have been stabbed in the back countless times and this is still one of my Top 10 Anime Betrayals.

Clementine, you fucking asshole.

Just you wait, I'm going to pull a prank so epic that you'd wish that the Minotaur had aborted you.

"Broken… heart…?" Clementine stupidly repeated my words.

"Yes, broken heart. Do you have any idea of what you have just done?!"

She made me believe that she wanted to be my apprentice to learn the art of trickery when in reality she wanted to learn what, be as fearless as me?

Fuck off!

"What did I do!?" She exclaimed.

"Just get out. And take Lecia with you."

I still need to teach the basics of gunslinging to Neia and give her the 'Training Regime for Dummies'. I also have a meeting after this.

Though I doubt I'm in the mental state to attend a meeting of all things.

Should I just call the day off?

"No, no, wait, just what happened?" Clementine asked, a bit confused (good acting there, champ). "What did I do?"

And now she's using the oldest trick in the book.

Clementine wants me to tell her exactly how she pranked me, and when I'll do so, she'll tell me how I am imagining it and how I am an idiot to even think she'd do something like this.

Then she'd try to appear hurt and guilt trip me into feeling like an asshole.

Hmm, when I look at it that way, she does have some talent in pranking others.

But I have been pranking people far longer than you have, Clementine. You might have caught me off-guard just now, but let me assure you that I'm not going to fall into your trap again.

Mark my words, Shadowlord, you are going down because this time, I am going to treat you as a worthy opponent and demolish you with all my might.

"I am not in the mood to discuss it. Please leave."

"A-are you… angry?"

"Oh, how insightful of you."

"But why? At least tell me, please."

Heh, the fact that she hasn't adapted and is still trying to use the same trick shows what a filthy noob she is.

Taking this big gurl down will be way too easy.

"Like I said, I'm not in the mood to do so."

"Samur," Neia interjected. "Just what happened? Why are you angry?"

"No particular reason."

The last thing I want is a child beater I mean a non-related Dragon to get involved.

"No, there must be. I mean, you didn't even get angry when I did… THAT."

'That'? Ah, she must be talking about the time when she beat a crippled me up.

I almost forgot about that.

Huh, I attached the label 'Child Beater' to her after that incident then forgot why I even did that literally 30 seconds later.

And that's because it was no big deal (no, I'm not suffering from short term memory loss).

You can beat me up after I've sacrificed myself for you. You can kill me by stabbing me in the back after I've dedicated my life to you. You can frame me for something after I worked extra hard to bring you to your position. And you can do many similar things.

I won't mind that. I've been through them so many times that at this point, I just find them amusing.

In fact, I especially look forward to betrayals. It's always interesting to see their reasons for betrayal and how they justify it to themselves. It's just good, clean fun.

So much that if I find someone who's likely to stay loyal to me, I manipulate events in such a way that they end up betraying me.

It's all kosher.

But breaking my heart by pranking me? Now that's where I draw the line.

No one gets away after breaking my heart.

⟦⟦You sure you aren't overreacting?⟧⟧

[Shut the fuck up or I'll shove my boot so far up your dickhole that you'll taste the grass that the cow ate before being turned into leather.]

⟦⟦…Roger.⟧⟧

"This and that are different things," I replied to Neia, though I doubt she has the mental capacity to understand my words.

"Okay, and what exactly is 'this'?"

"Like I said, I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

As they say, actions are louder than words.

What I'll do will tell them all they want to know about it.

"Argh, we're getting nowhere!" Neia exclaimed.

"Obviously, that's why I asked Clementine and Lecia to leave."

"But why are you angry? Just what could have incurred your wrath?" Neia muttered as she ignored me like I was a scientific research paper presented to an anti-vaxxer.

Wut?

My personal vendetta aside, why does this woman seem so obsessed with my rage? What does she hope to gain from learning about the reason behind it?

Ah, whatever. I'll just attribute it to her mental unstableness because she's frankly not important enough to make me ponder over the reason behind her actions for more than 2 seconds.

"Ah, is it that?" Neia suddenly exclaimed.

What dumb conclusion has she reached now?