How to Raise Your Regressor

"I'm glad you're alright," Arteria muttered in a teary voice as she held me in her tight embrace.

Bruh.

Now that was unexpected. How the heck am I going to have an argument and kick them out of the room?

"Um, yes, I'm perfectly alright. So, please release me."

"Yes," she replied but didn't relinquish her hold.

"Release me," I repeated.

"Yes," again, her embrace didn't loosen.

Are this woman's mouth and hands working in opposite ways? She says 'yes' but refuses to free me.

Don't tell me that the heart I implanted has affected her mental health.

As I thought, this woman is seriously mentally unstable. She needs professional help.

"Are you alright? Do you need someone to talk to?"

My offer of 80% discount for all therapy sessions is still up. Arteria should definitely sign up for that.

Not to mention that after the rather harsh feedback from Neia, I also reduced my base price. In other words, a session would now cost only 2 gold coins.

Dirt cheap for my services, I know, but I gotta start somewhere.

"Yes."

Noice.

"Should I book a session for this evening?"

"Yes."

My oh my, it's time to make my debut as a professional therapist.

"A session will cost you 2 gold coins, by the way."

"Yes."

"Alright, you're booked for the evening. The session will last for an hour."

"Yes."

GG, mission complete.

"Perfect. Now, I know my charm is irresistible, but the world will not allow us to be together. So please, release me."

"Yes," to my dismay, we remained in the same position.

Is her system broken or what?

I knew transplanting that heart right away was not a good idea.

"Arteria, back off."

"Yes."

"Please, fuck off."

"Yes."

This woman is becoming annoying.

Wait, she has always been annoying.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?"

"Yes."

Kinky.

Hmm, now how should I get this stage 5 clinger off me?

"Stay away from me, you stupid fucking piece of shit."

"Yes."

Bruh.

I looked at the two wankers for help, but they just did what they do best; be absolutely useless.

Understanding social cues, like the distressed signals I was sending through my eyes, was definitely not one of their strong suites.

Mr. Cat, by the way, had already left.

In other words, he was giving me the authentic experience of what it was like to own a cat.

I should really catch the witch and make her pay the cat's rent.

Anyway, let's get Arteria off me first.

"Just fuck off, will ya?"

"Yes."

"Arteria, you fucking idiot."

"Yes."

"I swear to fucking god if you don't release me, I'll put my hand where only someone in a loving relationship with their partner should."

"Yes."

What?

"Show me your tits."

"Yes."

"Can I fondle them?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't mind if I do."

"Yes."

"Now wait a fucking minute here!" Vafferan exclaimed.

"Oh, so you are finally willing to interfere, huh?"

Because if I remember correctly, she was not willing to abandon her stance of an observer. In other words, she had decided to just stay put and watch and let me suffer.

"I just couldn't stand by anymore."

"Ah yes, when it came to Arteria, a woman, you just couldn't stand by anymore. Yet when I, a man, was desperately asking for help, you chose to turn a blind eye. I'm going to sue you for blatant sexism. I'll see you in court."

You better lawyer up, weapon boi, because boy oh boy am I going to sue so hard that you'll commit self-murder.

I'll drag the corpses of the researchers you killed, if that's what it takes.

"What!?" Vafferan exclaimed again, rightfully so. "It had nothing to do with your gender!"

"Tell that to the judge."

Hmm, now that I think about it, it will probably be difficult for me to get a lawyer to sue a woman for sexism (fucking sexists, I tell ya). I might have to fight my case myself.

This should be fun.

"Argh, whatever!" Vafferan walked behind Arteria and looked at me. "This is how you get her to release you," she then poked both sides of her waist with her fingers.

"Hueh!?" Arteria shrieked rather cutely as her entire body jerked.

Her hold on me loosened and I took that chance to free myself.

Freedom, at last!

But I have no idea how long it'll last for, so it's better to take pre-emptive measures.

And so, I did a sick backflip and landed on the other side of the bed.

With the large bed to deter her, I should at least be able to cast a magic spell to stop her vicious embrace.

Huh, to think a time would come when I'll do so much to NOT be in the arms of a beautiful woman.

The times sure are weird.

"W-what was that for?!" Arteria cried at Vafferan.

"Believe me, it was for your own good," Vafferan lightly glared at me.

Hmm, I sure hope she doesn't take my joke too seriously and designate me as a pervert.

Wait, making inappropriate sexual jokes in the midst of tense or heart-warming situations is exactly what perverts do.

Fuck.

"I had no choice but to resort to extreme measures," I shrugged.

It's not like I was actually going to take advantage of Arteria and fondle her breasts. I'm a sophisticated gentleman.

If I really desired her supple tits, I would do it the right way and roofie her drink I mean flirt with her in order to get her to genuinely like me enough to have a one-night stand with me.

Jokes aside, you should never roofie someone's drink. That just screams little dick energy.

Just get them high on drugs like all normal people do.

Anyway.

"Now, if you are done with your… idiotic mischiefs, then please get out. I want to sleep."

Like seriously, do they have any idea how bad fragmented sleep can be for me? It reduces sleep efficiency, leads to fatigue and lethargy and disrupts immune functions.

Honestly speaking, these guys are fucking assholes.

"Are you going to sleep like that?" Neia asked.

"What? Don't tell me you want to decide how I can and cannot sleep. I don't think I have given you the right to command my life."

"That wasn't what I mean- haaah, forget it."

"Good. Now, please get out."

"W-wait!" Arteria exclaimed.

Now what?

"Make it quick."

"I, uh, I want to apologise," she fidgeted a bit.

"For what?"

"For saying all those things last night."

"Look, I don't give a fuck."

"Huh?"

"If you really want to apologise to someone, then apologise to my damn door. Look how you massacred my boy."

Why did they have to do something so cruel to it? It was just fulfilling its duty of guarding my privacy.

They didn't have to pulverise it to oblivion; they could have just broken the lock or entered through the window if bothering me was so important for them.

"…" Arteria pursed her lips.

"If you really are sorry for your actions, then fix that door."

"Y-yes."

"And now that I think about it, you guys sure like to barge into my room, don't you? Well, you better be careful next time, because I'm going to install some defensive measures."

"What kind of defensive measures?"

"Measures that will kill you the next time you try to pull this shit again."

To be more precise, kill everyone in a radius of 55 km.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Meow."