He Is a Master Who Can’t Handle a Slave Properly

64 – The heart I couldn’t convey, the heart I believed I would never reach (complete)

“Floren.”

I miss the days when he called my name.

I miss the days when I went on adventures with him.

I miss the days when he smiled at me.

…

Only regret continues to linger deep in the heart.

“It’s ‘Floren’. Why is it always shortened like that!”

…now that she introduces herself as Floren to others, she blankly looks at the days when she was immature and lacking courage.

“Puhuh, I do it every time to see you so energetic.”

“Why every time you – ugh…”

It was only now that he realized that he clearly had a crush on her, and he was left alone muttering blankly.

If I had been able to go in there instead, I would have hugged him and not let him go.

If I had known at the time that momentary choices leave only eternal consequences, I would have acted a little more boldly.

Just like the rest of the prisoners, strong, candid, blatantly,

I would have done that.

…Escaped from the memories, returned to the cruel reality, carefully took out the skull he was holding in his arms, and faced the two empty holes.

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Recalling those two eyes that were shining brown, they cautiously put their foreheads together.

“…If I could go back to that time, I would have sold my soul.

But it can’t be.

There is some value left in the soul of a foolish, old woman… hehehe.”

It reminded me of a rabbit who got sick because of love.

The rabbit eventually won love, and remembered holding her husband from leaving the house every day.

Even though her jealousy increased day by day in that she had two children who resembled each other, she had to admit it with a sigh once more.

She did it, and she failed.

I didn’t even have the right to regret this much, I repeated myself over and over again.

“…if really my love had been that true, I wouldn’t have let you go that day.”

I remembered the last time I saw his smile,

I met that pale face that had turned cold.

“I don’t even have the courage to say that anyone else would have done it if it weren’t for you.”

He confidently raised his sword and asked if he was the chosen one, and returned to the statue and painting.

…with sloppy imitations of people who can’t move, can’t smile, and have only glorious features.

“If only I could exchange a world like this with you…”

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Rain pours down on the parched land.

“I know I shouldn’t be thinking this, but when I see your empty skull, I just…”

The aging old woman was tied to the past and unable to move forward into the future.

***

“…It’s a pretty girl. Congratulations.”

I hurriedly left the house, leaving the fox smiling quietly and the young man expressing his gratitude with a bright face behind.

Showing off a forced smile has recently become more difficult.

Let’s leave the living room messed up with various ingredients and fruits for the fox and the house full of strong body odor.

He constantly thought about what was left of him.

And all that remains is his ashes.

With a distorted face and heart, he stole and quietly took out the leftover white bones,

Now that all the years have passed, he has become ugly and old with only memories of the days when it is unknown how many people will remember him.

All that was left was that.

Thinking so, the wrinkled face seemed to wrinkle even more.

“…I need to stop doing this…”

I did it because I wanted others to enjoy the happiness that I had not enjoyed.

All I could feel now was a feeling of jealousy.

Before you become ugly,

Deciding to stop making herself a bad person, even for the sake of him who was surely waiting up there, she decided to resign her position.

It didn’t take too long to put it into action, and it was so simple.

There was no one holding her back, and she was able to quietly step away amidst smiles and applause.

As if there was no regret.

And all that was left was endless regret and self-blame.

“My whole life… I lived my whole life helping someone, treating, helping, and caring for someone.”

Crouching down in front of a skeleton that could not answer, she continued to punch her chest and howl.

“How can it be so cruel that there is nothing left over from the days I loved you? How can it be so cruel.”

Because he thought it was necessary, because he thought that people like himself shouldn’t hold back a hero,

The light he put in the darkened sky faded because he thought it would be a waste to remain as his own light.

When it became a fire that everyone remembers,

He struggled to deny his own sorrow.

And it was a really stupid choice, I repeated that many times.

“If I had held on to you, even if blood soaked the earth and people’s sorrow was great, if I hadn’t let you go,

Would I be happy now? Could I have grown old happily by your side?”

The little idol hanging on the wall was so ferocious that she cried as she held it in her wrinkled hands.

“Mighty Lord, did you really need his life and my pain to save people? Was it you who took that courage from me…!”

Even though I was the one who made the choice, now I don’t even have myself left to resent,

She shook her head frantically and wet her parched face with salty water.

“Why did you take him from me, why did you give me this life…!”

At the end of the days when the people around you each had the courage to win their love, but they called themselves a coward for not being able to do it,

Even her worn-out self-loathing has become tattered,

Soon, he turned his overflowing hatred and resentment toward a god he wasn’t even sure of existed.

“Seeing only the happiness of those around him, seeing the love he gave to the world,

To atone for my actions by forever looking at what I did not get,

Or did you do this to make me feel until the end of my life a lesson that I should have held on to him, knowing that the world was full of blood and pain…!”

What remained after the painful resentment was fainting due to the reaction of the weakened body.

Feeling the energy slowly leaving the body, I thought how nice it would be if this was the end for me.

Cursing himself for not even having the courage to take his own life, he sank himself into darkness.

***

I raised my uncomfortable body and looked up at the sky, where a pale moon and a sky full of stars spread out.

After thinking about it for a moment, she took out a staff and started moving her feet.

It was an accidental thought, but she thought it would be better.

It was a decision made because it seemed that a clean ending would be better than resenting and screaming at the reality where even miracles do not happen to oneself who was doing miracles.

Breathing in the cold, dark air into her lungs, she moved slowly toward the moon and stars.

Will he be far beyond, will he be at the end of this walk,

Taking those concerns seriously, she moved her body.

“Wait, where are you going like that?”

It was a guard who stopped her.

“The night is cold, old man. Do you have any business?”

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Realizing the age at which she couldn’t even be seen as a woman now, she answered him with the best smile she could have.

“Young man, I am about to go in search of love.”

“…Is your spouse out of town?”

Whoa, she exhaled and shook her head.

“I came from farther, but I am buried here. In this city… in my heart.”

“Senior, are you okay?”

“…it won’t be okay.”

Feeling the hot tears meet the cold air and quickly cool down,

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Running her hand over the long marks on her cheeks, she shook her head.

“Before this resentment built up in my heart, my anger towards the world, and my regret hurt anyone anymore, I’m going to go far, far away…”

She said, “Kwuu-wook,” holding on to her cane, then wiped her cheek once and looked at the young man who was interested in her.

The man had a sturdy build, and the spear and torch held firmly gave the impression of confidence.

Enough to remind me of the brave man who one day stood out to protect the city.

“It’s because I look so ugly when I’ve grown so ugly. I hate myself for having changed so… so much.”

At least when I faced him, I didn’t want to face him with such a dirty look.

Thinking of him who may or may not be there, who may or may not wait,

At least if I could meet him, I would have liked to meet him with a neat mindset and a neat appearance.

I didn’t want to show myself full of resentment and jealousy toward the innocent in front of him.

“…But after saying this, I feel a little relieved… Thank you.”

In order to repay the kindness shown to an old man who would not be strange any time he went, and who could not even receive attention in society anymore,

She made eye contact and tried to say hello, as she always did.

But for some reason, the shadowy eyes and bitter smile on his face seemed so familiar.

For some reason, the reason why the heart that I believed had stopped beating again.

As she stared at the guard’s face in disbelief, she dropped the staff she was holding.

“You… you…”

Yes, she remembered the helmet and armor.

Although worn armor and helmets, full of scars and dents,

Clearly she remembered those things that always shone in her eyes.

“…Floren.”

With a smile on his face, the man took off his helmet and slowly took the old woman into his arms.

“Is it too late?”

she remembered

That warm embrace, that scent that I always imagined from far away.

And they were so astonishingly identical to those that had unfolded in her imagination,

She shook her head several times, wanting to deny the sight before her eyes.

He said that it was only his fantasy, and that everything happening now was not true.

“…I, I…”

But she soon collapsed.

The touch of that hand warmly caressing her back was so vivid,

The warm resounding voice was so similar to the one he remembered,

That playful greeting and calling his name must be him,

Caught in his arms, she hesitated without even being able to say anything, and soon burst into tears.

With a raised voice, with a smooth face,

With the nun’s clothes she wore when she was young,

He walked into the scene he had dreamed of.

“…I’m glad I can meet you now.”

she didn’t say anything

I wanted to answer, but I didn’t.

The surrounding villages disappeared and only a hut remained, and she didn’t say anything at the moment when he held her in his arms and walked slowly.

but with the strength of the arm around his neck,

I sincerely hoped that this was not a dream.

If there is a miracle, it must be a miracle indeed,

She worked hard to somehow bring him closer to him that she had missed.

Filled with the will to prove that I will not miss this time, and that if the opportunity comes, I must seize it.

She threw everything at him.

The man he loved, for him.

…Salvation will come to those who are devoted.