40 – I won’t be able to shake her off with the excuse of making money (1)

Late at night, unable to sleep properly, holding her in his arms.

Lately, I’ve been feeling sorry for not being able to pay attention to Shani, and the compulsion to take care of others after leaving her in my arms was frustrating me.

No matter what kind of person I am, if I am in a position to be responsible for someone, I will have to fully shoulder it – no…

Am I not the one who never dreamed that these things would happen to me in the first place?

Take away life with weapons, take someone as a slave and become its master,

A woman with a beauty reminiscent of a white moon floating in the sky is now receiving an amount of love that is so heavy that she cannot bear to carry it all.

It was because I had a lot of trust from Shani, whom I recently accepted as a new member of the family.

Although, since I brought her in, she only made me do hard work that made my hands swell, so I ended up taking a different action from what I promised.

It was definitely something I was grateful for, saying that I had some responsibility on myself and taking on the job without saying anything.

By the way, now I’m really starting to run out of money.

It was me and she who skipped meals several times – but of course Shani allowed us to eat separately.

Now the pockets of money were getting really dangerously light.

Her condition is not good. If I fall, I’m sure there will be more than enough to scour the back alleys of the city.

Lately, I’ve been a little quiet, and I’ve been relieved and slept soundly if I kissed a little longer.

…If I wasn’t there when I woke up, I was looking for me with a messy head.

I brushed her hair, which was now long down to her waist, and moved her body slightly so that she could put her nose on the nape of my neck a little longer.

Anyway, now my pockets were getting really dangerous.

Would it have been a much better choice for me to let her take the lead?

If I couldn’t escape her grasp in the first place, wouldn’t it be better to roam freely in her hands a little longer?

Previously, if it was a life where she put me on a leash, petted me, indulged me, and enjoyed it,

Now she was clinging to me in a precarious situation where she might really die without me.

I’m afraid I’ll miss the leash, so I’m not going to tighten my grip more.

It was as if he quickly put the leash on himself and tied it to me.

Then, holding the hand that held the leash, he cried out to me not to let go of it.

It took me far too long to understand it.

At first, I thought it was simply forcing me to enjoy the pleasure I could get with my body.

I realized that I liked myself so much that it showed me the best way to express my heart in my own way.

Now she was realizing for herself what the minimum expression she could concede was.

A long sigh escaped her lungs, pushing her gray hair.

Now, quietly looking at her white field, shimmering white like a field of reeds on an autumn night…

Unable to overcome the weight of unhappiness brought on by my irresponsibility, I began to have thoughts of wanting to whine at her.

It’s probably pathetic to see myself yearning for the pleasure that comes from her, even though I’m burdened with the bottomless responsibility.

That much I wasn’t ready.

The task of life given to me at the age of 23 was too heavy, and I was still not properly prepared.

I thought I was an adult when I turned 20.

I was still a child

Now this beautiful woman who wants love from me and shows love,

…believing that perhaps the expression of an adult would be much more accurate.

Although he was a person who could not stand even for a moment without me, at least he was someone who took responsibility for what he had done.

Unlike me, who took her out of cheap sympathy and built up all sorts of complaints inside, saying that it’s hard to handle now.

So today, as I stroked her, I slowly put down the dissatisfaction in my heart and prepared to build up a sense of responsibility instead.

I have reaped, I will be responsible.

It’s what I did, so I had to reap it.

The work with Eli and the work with Shani.

All I was doing was right.

***

early morning.

I gave her the pajama I was sleeping on instead of her who was still sleeping with me.

I was thinking of going to the dungeon very briefly.

Money was really at risk. It was clear that if I let my hands go like this, the money would run out in less than 10 days.

soon, really soon.

Due to her nature of sleeping with me until noon, she will definitely have to come back before then.

Of course, I didn’t intend to go down to the third floor, I just wanted to catch a few golems and earn some money.

After earning a little, wait until her situation settles down –

If that didn’t happen, I was thinking of asking Shani to do something about it.

There was also a way to collect more money by challenging the lower levels of the dungeon.

Anyway, it was all my fault.

As Madame Floren said, I deserved to be held accountable for my actions.

If she gets a little better, then… Yeah.

Shouldn’t something be done?

Marry her if need be – no, let’s not hesitate.

Yes, it would be right if she wanted to wear a gold ring on my ring finger.

“…Where are you going this early in the morning?”

Shani can now live in a room on the first floor.

As a result of helping her clean whenever she had time, I thought that it was fortunate that I was able to provide her with a comfortable room of her own.

“Nothing… no. Just outside-“

“It’s nothing special. Wearing leather armor. I can’t imagine being alone in a dungeon-“

“Shh, shh. If you do this, Mr. Ellie will wake up.”

“You’d better wake me up, Mr. Marcus. Do you even know what you’re doing?”

He placed his hand on her shoulder as he placed his finger on her lips as his voice grew louder and louder.

“It’s really quick. I won’t be going anywhere dangerous. You know, my pockets are getting really light lately.”

“…I don’t think I can say anything more about it.”

Only the money that went under her was 40 gold coins and her daily necessities…

Yeah, who should I blame, I was the one who made that choice in the end.

Without making a proper decision, all those choices I made, imagining that it would be a good choice for me, were wrong.

“If that’s the case, then I have to follow-“

“No, I’ll take care of her. If you wake up early-“

“I could really die.”

“…no way.”

“You might even reprimand me severely for not stopping you.”

That’s… that’s what happens again.

Nothing really goes right.

“Haa… I’ll try something. But I don’t know how to do anything to go to the dungeon.”

With a sigh, I thanked her briefly for pushing my back, and put a few more coins in her hands.

“If you ever need something, use it. If there’s a problem, there’s an extra weapon in the warehouse on the second floor… Anyway.”

“Just – get there ASAP, okay?”

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Receiving her request, I was able to leave the door.

A warpic worn around the waist and a shield hanging from the back.

A dagger and an ID that can be used in case of emergency.

A small stash of money and a well-dressed leather armor.

OK, this should be enough.

***

“…I’m crazy.”

It was a belated thought after sending him away.

When the owner asked to let him go, he had no choice but to let go, but he still regretted the choice.

It was too much of a risk to take, and she had to worry that if she woke up right now, her lifeline would be on her back if he returned.

And above all, he looked so precarious.

He had never eaten anything properly, and it was his recent routine to always spend the day by her side.

In other words – I was living a life that was not normal at all.

His face grew haggard as the days passed, and his body was drying up.

If I were to compare it to before, I was worried about his appearance, which looked so difficult, but I didn’t dare to break his stubbornness.

Indeed, it was true that the money was running out – and he seemed to need some freedom.

If he went out once like this, he would surely be caught by her enraged woman for a while and he would not be able to leave the room again, but he decided to pay attention to that fact.

That old woman was somehow scary, and it was easy to guess that the way she put pressure on herself with words was not an ordinary person…

It seemed prudent to follow her advice. Any more unnecessary stimuli would stop, and he thought of sticking to himself, accepting only the minimum kindness he provided here.

Perhaps being a housekeeper or maid, being satisfied with a position like that would surely be comfortable for me, I thought.

It was in the morning, about two hours after he disappeared, that the anxious rabbit came down to the first floor in contemplation, with his pajamas torn to shreds.

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