Having Reincarnated a Million Times I Won’t Let My Guard Down Even in a Peaceful World

58: Attaining Tolerance

My hobby is directing BL doujinshi creation.

Or perhaps, I had a desire to be a commander.

Certainly, when Karina said “It’s a hobby” to me and I objectively observed myself directing BL doujinshi creation, I was so high-spirited that it made no sense, and I was very lively.

I like leading someone, and I like carrying out things according to the set schedule.

When I think about why, it’s probably because ‘leading’ and ‘carrying out things according to the set schedule’ are things I couldn’t do in my previous hundred thousand lives.

And I suddenly think.

Things I couldn’t do in my past life, albeit on a small scale, I can do in my current life.

There is no discord, no friction.

Karina and the others, including newcomers, follow my lead well, and their motivation is high.

…I see, I completely understand.

This is—a trap.

I am happily directing BL doujinshi creation.

Since the deadline is very near, my language becomes rough, I shout, and everyone is in an extreme state, crying or getting angry, but in the end, everyone moves according to the schedule I set.

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This is a calculation of the ‘enemy’ to betray me at some point.

Where is the ‘enemy’?

Karina and the members of her circle?

Or the management of the doujinshi fair?

I don’t understand.

But I thought they would come soon – I let my guard down. For 19 years, nothing happened, so I began to think that this world was peaceful.

Of course, I tried not to forget the tension, but my fragile mind quickly sought reassurance and tried to think of the “present” and the “blessed everyday life” as something “natural.”

It was dangerous.

Just when I let my guard down and thought there were no “enemies” – that’s when the “enemy” appears.

Unaware of this, if I got carried away and forgot to consider Karina and the others, I would have surely faced a severe revenge and walked the path of separation from them.

To survive, it is crucial not to increase enemies.

What can I do for that?

I made pancakes.

Our schedule is so urgent that it is incomprehensible.

Rather, with each festival, the sense of urgency increases, and I think, “Hurry up and call me. Start working quickly. Soon, I’ll be pushed to the point where I can move the pen at the speed of sound.”

Energy drinks and potions alone make me feel restless, and my skin and heart become rough.

I have no time to spare for making cosplay costumes, but still, I made pancakes. I decorated them with cream and fruits and drizzled honey over them.

As the honey slid down on top of the golden-brown pancakes… (using the word “drop” is forbidden)… the scene had a moisturizing effect on my frayed spirit.

I called out to everyone. Even though we don’t have any spare time in our schedule, let’s have tea time.

At first, everyone resisted, but I forcibly made them eat pancakes and drink tea. It seemed that their tense spirits relaxed. The atmosphere became pleasant, and conversations started.

The conversations didn’t end.

Wait, how long will this continue? Let’s cut it off after eating pancakes and get back to work with a fulfilled mind and body…

I was getting anxious alone. But Karina and the others keep talking… What should I do? I’m losing precious time because of the pancakes I prepared.

When it reached the stage where it was absolutely impossible to meet the deadline no matter how I calculated it, I realized.

Ah, I see. I don’t need to “succeed” in everything.

It’s okay to fail.

What was lacking in my life was the tolerance to accept “failure”…

While preparing enough copies for each person, I thought about that.