Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 190 – Pedophile Tourist Attempting to Sexual-Harass Girl during Halloween Event Shot By Florida Man Cosplayed as Pedophile Bear.

BZZZ

While monitoring the lava badgers, Esen heard the voice transmission from Ivy. Her voice seemed excited.

'Master, I spotted an earth celestial immortal, 95 quasi-immortals, and a bunch of insects flying your way.'

Esen raised her eyebrows. She turned around and planned to deliver a telepathic voice to Leo. Unfortunately, he hadn't returned yet.

As Leo was not around, Esen had no one to shove the responsibility away.

"Meh. How troublesome. Oh, wait. We can do this."

Esen was confident that she could easily crush every Earth Celestial immortal with ease as long as they fought individually. But suddenly, she remembered that she hadn't tested Leo's new toys yet.

She replied to Ivy.

"Proceed as planned. Go pick up our comrades from home. I'll babysit that geezer's pets."

'Yes, master.'

Ivy and Cat continued heading south as planned. As for Esen, she stretched and yawned. Then, she informed everybody, including the badgers and tamer girls.

"Listen up, humans! Some death-seeking crap-stuck-on-their-butt idiotic immortals will launch a full-scale assault here tonight. Instead of patrolling everywhere, tell everybody to form ranks and gather south! You girls and these critters go hide inside that geezer's pointless store. Tell the adults to get their guns ready!"

.

.

Qiang Baidu arrived at Leo's domain border. He ordered his troops to stop marching forward.

In front of him, the mystic portal island stood tall, leaking waterfall to the canyon river. Small and big creatures poured out from an erected gate and fell along the natural water slide. Thunder caimans, cockatrices, rare fish, and dead land animals came out once every minute.

Below the flying island, a faint layer of fog covered the entire domain. The remnant force of heavenly tribulation clouds lingered in the area, empowering the fog with mild static electricity. However, green, purple, yellow, orange, and even red thunderbolts occasionally flashed inside the clouds underneath the flying island.

Hovering fearlessly under the tribulation clouds were the 50 nightmare horses, led by Ricardo. They remained in their beast form, concealing their true abilities. They all gathered at the south of the domain border, facing Qiang Baidu's troops.

On the ground, 50 unicorns formed ranks, standing together in a square formation. The leader of this unit, Taxi, had already transformed into a human. He stood on the rooftop of Leo's general store.

Behind Taxi, Hua Jiashan, Han Hao, Han Meng, Xu Nuan, Dongfang Mei, Tiger Swordsman, and the lazy dork Wu Buyi brought out their new arsenal.

Inside the general store hid the young disciples from Life Sword Sect and Amazonian Sanctuary. They peeked outside while standing behind the glass windows. Among them, Yao Qiqi and the newly recruited lava badgers hid there, serving as the last line of defense.

As for Esen and Marc, the former rested on a beach bed, next to the white tree array while Marc served as a human fan, generating breezy wind toward Esen with his Qi while mixing a cocktail drink for his master. He awkwardly blended a golden sand banana, arctic yin tomato, immortal grasses, and yin fluid to create a rare chilly drink. The duo didn't seem to be disturbed by the invaders.

On the guardian statues pretended to be lifeless. However, their eyes curved up, mocking the approaching mutants. 

Meanwhile, Qiang Baidu gave the thunder unicorns and nightmares a meaningful look. All these 9th-stage monsters were a threat to his quasi-immortal unit. Only he could defeat them.

However, what concerned Qiang Baidu the most was the two youngsters near the south farmland. They seemed too relaxed, and Qiang Baidu couldn't measure their combat strength.

'Are they immortals? That can't be possible, right? I don't think this mortal plant has enough cultivation resources to nurture an immortal, let alone a quasi-immortal. If they had, Situ Nantian and Yan Xiang would have ascended long ago.'

Qiang Baidu shook off their theory that Esen and Marc were immortals. He believed they had an artifact, which concealed their cultivation base.

He scanned the domain and found interesting buildings, such as the Crystal Tower, parking lot building, apartments, and the shopping mall. He was interested in the spirit stone heart the most.

'That spirit stone heart… I see. That should be Immortal Florida Man's work. Does Florida Man here?'

Probing the domain, Qiang Baidu empowered his voice with his Qi, roaring.

"I AM QIANG BAIDU OF THE GORR TRIBE! BRING ME YOUR LEADER!"

His voice vibrated in the air, causing an earthquake. The horses flinched because of the intense voice. As for the weak elders, their ears bled, and everybody on the rooftop of the shopping mall collapsed to the ground.

The recycling center's mannequins rushed to work. They fetched new healing pills, the pinnacle-graded "Hope and Dream" pills, to feed the injured elders. Everybody took one and fell asleep on the spot. Even Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei couldn't withstand Qiang Baidu's voice.

The mannequins brought them into the shopping mall via the back door, and let them rest. Then, they visited the gunsmith and fetched finished rifles inside. After arming themselves, they went back to the rooftop, replacing the defensive forces.

Not only did the recycling center's mannequins react to the intruders, but the warehouse and granary mannequins reacted as well. However, instead of joining the fighting forces, they served as logistic officers, carrying necessary food and items to the shopping mall.

A minute later, no one from Leo's side came out. Only the ponies remained vigilance.

Seeing that nobody replied, Qiang Baidu believed that Leo might be in hiding or had already run away.

'Is he not here? Or rather, is Florida Man one of the two?'

Qiang Baidu glared at Marc. He had heard about Leo before, and the intel said he was an elderly man with a long white beard and white hair. However, this boy seemed to be in his teens, which didn't fit the description.

Still, anything could happen in this world. Qiang Baidu guessed that he might have consumed age-reduction medicines from the Tang Clan.

'I need to make sure they aren't immortals. I'll grab them myself.'

Qiang Baidu descended and landed 50 meters away from Esen and Marc. The former stomped toward the duo.

"Brat! Where is Florida Man?!"

Esen, who had changed her clothes to the domain's uniform, casually rose up. She put on a black suit and adjusted her breast pads before she faced Qiang Baidu.

"Who's asking?" Asked Esen.

Qiang Baidu gave Esen a meaningful look. As he managed to see her face under the moonlight, he noticed the otherworldly beautiful face of a high elf. His eyes automatically moved to her chest, which bulged under her shirt and suit.

The mutant drooled. He wanted her.

"Little girl. Which sect are you from?"

Esen rolled her eyes, "You didn't answer my question."

"Ha! I'm Qiang Baidu, the chieftain of the Gorr Tribe. You, little girl, should surrender to me when you have a chance. I'll even make you one of my concubines and guarantee your status and wealth!"

Marc's expression turned dark. He almost pulled out his blindfold clothes because of anger.

Esen raised her hand and stopped the Dullahan boy from taking action. She continued toying with Qiang Baidu.

"You? Taking me in? You should at least look at yourself in the mirror and clean your eyes with piss water. Do you think an ugly geezer like you deserve me?"

Qiang Baidu liked Esen's tone. He looked forward to breaking Esen's mind on their first wedding night.

"You might not know, but I'm an immortal. I have transcended this world's limitations and laws! Now, you have two choices. Be my concubine willingly, or I'll chop off your four limbs and use you as my personal toilet!"

Esen deeply sighed. She shook her head.

"Seriously, men are the same everywhere. Well, except that geezer."

Thinking of Leo, Esen faintly smiled. She found it comfortable freeloading in his domain. Moreover, he never tried to force himself on her.

Esen didn't realize that her happy smile aroused Qiang Baidu even more. He laughed and walked closer to her.

SHINK

Marc suddenly pulled out a giant bastard sword from his storage ring and slammed it on the ground between Esen and Qiang Baidu. The blindfolded clothes failed to conceal bright light from Marc's red glowing eyes.

"Stay away from my master, demon!" Marc glared at Qiang Baidu.

The mutant chieftain found the boy amusing. He laughed at Marc, "Are you Florida Man?"

Marc snorted. Because of various emotions, he yelled, "What if I say I am?!"

"Good!"

BOOM

A fist found its way to Marc's face. Qiang Baidu punched him and knocked his head off his shoulders.

"…"

Qiang Baidu frowned and looked at his fist. The feedback from his punch was weird as he didn't sense any Qi or defensive force from Marc.

Upon noticing that Marc's head was missing, Qiang Baidu laughed.

"What a showoff! If you're a mortal, you should have stayed outside of our business! Well, it's too late for you, though."

Qiang Baidu turned his attention to Esen next.

"Your boyfriend is dead, girly. Come to me obediently."

Esen crossed her arms. She snorted.

"First off, that boy is my servant, not my boyfriend. Secondly, when you fight a Dullahan, you have to destroy his soul first, not attack his head. After all, their heads are replaceable."

"What?"

Esen sat back on her beach bed. She took a sip of her cocktail, "What I'm trying to say is, you fucked up."

BOOM

Suddenly, the headless body of Marc picked up the bastard sword and swung it toward Qiang Baidu at lightning speed. The blade directly hit his stomach, but it failed to cut through his skin.

Qiang Baidu was sent flying 500 meters into the sky before he regained his balance. But when he looked back at Esen, he could no longer find Marc's headless body.

Marc's head reappeared 100 meters away in front of Qiang Baidu. As for his body, it was already above the guy.

The blindfold cloth was gone. Qiang Baidu could finally see Marc's face.

Marc had no physical eyes! In his eyesockets were two glowing red lightning balls, staring straight at Qiang Baidu's soul!

A new physique manifested, using Marc's head as its core. A red body made of red electricity gained mass while Marc's physical body emitted black flame.

"!!!"

The black aura of Marc's headless body revealed his true strength. Upon sensing his opponent's power, Qiang Baidu was terrified.

"RED TRIBULATION LIGHTNING?! YOU'RE NOT A MORTAL!"

Marc grumbled. His lightning physique teleported and grabbed Qiang Baidu's neck.

"Duh, obviously. Do you think a mortal can survive after hearing your shout up close? You didn't use your brain a lot, do you?"

ZAAAAAP

Using his pure Qi, Marc unleashed a red electric current through Qiang Baidu's body and fried him. At the same time, Marc's headless body swung the bastard sword down, cleaving Qiang Baidu's body from head to groin.

The body of the mutant chieftain was cut in half while it was burnt to crisp.

Marc released Qiang Baidu's cleaved neck. The body dissipated into black ash.

Despite the destruction of Qiang Baidu's body, Marc's eyes moved around, searching for his opponent's soul and new physique.

WHOOSH

A crimson dome emerged, enveloping Leo's domain and Qiang Baidu's troops. Flame from the dome's ceiling barriers poured down and condensed a new mass.

As Marc had expected, Qiang Baidu wasn't dead yet. The flame mass condensed Qiang Baidu's new body. He reappeared in front of his troops with his full clothes intact. His skin was slightly charred, while smoke came out from his body. However, all wounds instantly healed in seconds.

Marc clicked his tongue. He had fought immortals before, and killing them wasn't easy. To kill an immortal, he needed to destroy or disable his opponent's domain first.

On the ground, Esen had been observing the fight, and she was slightly disappointed in Marc's indecisiveness. She complained.

"Don't just use your brute strength against an immortal. Use everything necessary to crack or destroy your opponent's domain! If you can't, you lose!"

Marc nodded as he remembered the trick. He cursed in his mind.

"I'm getting rusty."

His red lightning physique and headless body activated their domain abilities in unison. A blood dome and an upside-down island emerged from nothingness.

The surface of the upside-down island was a cemetery. Tombs and graves were disorderly arranged while the black soil wailed as if it was haunted. At the center of the cemetery, a statue of a headless horseman was situated there, holding a long scythe and a bundle of heads.

The flying island hovered over the troops of Qiang Baidu. It also slowly spread black fog to conceal its existence. At the same time, the blood domain covered it.

The blood domain barrier and crimson flame domain overlapped. As both domains collided, their real bodies were affected.

Qiang Baidu flinched and looked above him. A scythe symbol hovered over his head as if he had been cursed by Marc's blood domain and the upside-down Cemetery Island.

Vice versa, Marc's headless body was caught in crimson flame. Fortunately, the black flame negated the burning effects, and the red lightning of Marc's soul devoured the weaker flame as fuel.

Whenever immortals overlapped their domains, they could tell which side had an advantage. Qiang Baidu's face darkened as he figured out that his opponent was immune to crimson flame.

Changing his strategy, Qiang Baidu chose another ability.

"It doesn't matter what your cultivation base is! As long as I have a soul domain that can counter your trump cards, I can kill you-UUGH!"

BANG!

Before Qiang Baidu could finish his sentences, Marc pulled out one of Leo's distributed rifles and shot Qiang Baidu with an enchanted sacred wood bullet. It pierced his throat directly, cutting off his voice.

Marc clicked his tongue as his aim was off. He readjusted his aim.

Qiang Baidu had enough. He healed his throat and bellowed.

"ALL UNITS, CHARGE! KILL THEM ALL! QUASI-IMMORTAL, GET RID OF THOSE 9TH-STAGE MONSTERS! AS FOR THE REST OF YOU, DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

The troops stopped observing. As they had witnessed Marc's strength, no one held back their skills.