Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 174 – Florida Man Found Drunk  Naked Woman Sleeping in His Bed, Cuddled with Her, Kicked Her Out in the Morning, and Refused to Elaborate.

With Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei's help, Leo managed to filter useful books from junk. Duplicated books, ledgers, and random diaries were thrown into the acid pool.

In the end, Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei secured 500 technique books and 20 cultivation manuals. They volunteered to build a temporary library to store the books.

After clearing the first batch of books, Leo resumed cleaning his spatial rings. He ejected more books for Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei to audit while he tossed away regular grain pills and clothes.

Sometimes, Leo found shining flying swords and random weapons. The ones in good condition were thrown into the junkyard as they might be useful for his workers. As for rusty and worn-out ones, he dumped them all.

Hua Jiashan's heart ached when he saw Leo throw a dozen artifacts into the acid pool. Even though they were old, they still could fetch a thousand spirit stones in the market.

"L-Lord Florida Man. C-Could you stop throwing away artifacts?"

Leo stopped checking his spatial rings, "Why?"

"You might not need those artifacts, but they are still valuable in the market. If we put it on sale, we can fetch over a thousand spirit stones each. I think it is wiser to put it in your store, sir."

"Oh, I see."

Leo pursed his lips and nodded. He stopped discarding useless weapons into the pool.

Three hours later, Leo finished cleaning his spatial rings. He wiped his sweat and admired the junkyard, where he gathered a bunch of material, random artifacts, and tree logs.

In addition, Leo completed his goal.

Recycle at least 10,000 items by using the Recycling Center. (19,581/ 10,000) (Done)

With that quest gone, Leo only needed to complete one more task. However, it might take a while since it took time for alchemy workshops to produce grain pills.

He rechecked the remaining quest progress.

Concoct at least 10,000 pills by using Alchemy Workshop. (3,730 / 10,000)

It progressed at a snail's pace according to Leo's standard. The upgraded workshops seemed to produce 100 grain pills every hour, so he would need 73 hours or three days to fulfill the requirement.

As there was nothing Leo could do to finish the quest faster, he called it a day. He bid farewell to Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei and returned to his battle bus to get some sleep.

.

Entering the bus, Leo walked straight to the master cabin. He entered the room and headed straight to the bathroom.

After a quick bath, Leo dried himself and threw his weary body onto the bed without wearing any clothes. Upon landing, his body hit something, and it caused a weird noise.

Because of the mental exhaustion, Leo tugged himself into the bed and shut his eyes. He then reached out to hug his favorite body pillow.

Strangely, it was hairy.

Leo's consciousness drifted off to Namek Planet and dreamed of the iconic fight between Goku and Frieza. He didn't notice anything weird in his bed.

.

Four hours later, Leo yawned and stretched by squeezing his body pillow.

"!!!"

Again, strangely, it squeaked. Also, instead of sensing the soft cotton cloth sheet and the fluffiness of the pillow, Leo's left hand found joints and bony shoulders. As for his right hand, it touched something soft and jiggling.

"…"

Leo frowned while his eyes were still closed. He deeply sighed.

"Why am I feeling like I'm getting myself into a rom-com situation?"

"…"

Leo slowly opened his eyes. Then, he found Esen, lying naked in his arms. Her arms were in front of her, trying to push Leo away. However, because of Leo's absurd strength, she couldn't break free.

Looking at Esen's face, Leo nonchalantly greeted her.

"Good morning, little brat."

"LET ME GO, YOU PERVERT GEEZER!"

Leo was neither flustered nor was he shy away from the weird situation. He stroked Esen's naked back and teased her.

"And why in the Mordor are you sleeping naked in my bed? Are you trying to take my virginity?"

"SCREW YOU AND YOUR VIRGIN DICK! RELEASE ME!"

Leo laughed and gently smacked Esen's perky butt and released her. She jumped off the bed and carried the blanket to cover herself.

In the room, Ivy, Marc, and Beatrice had been sitting on a couch, watching Leo and Esen all night. Expressionless, they gazed at Esen and Leo, unable to intervene.

Leo sat up and looked at the crowd.

"Oh, I didn't know we have spectators. I should have sold you the tickets."

"…"

The two undead girls didn't react, but Marc fidgeted because of the awkward situation.

Meanwhile, Esen was enraged. She threw furniture and stuff at Leo, but he caught them and stored everything in his spatial ring to avoid damage.

"BASTARD! PERVERT! MONSTER! LEECHER! LOWLIFE! LOLICON! SCUM! MANACE OF SOCIETY!"

Leo retorted, "And why the hell were you in MY BED, and why are you NAKED?!"

"SHUT IT! I CAN'T SLEEP IF I WEAR CLOTHES! I'M A LICH! AND WHY DID YOU CREEP INTO THE BED WHEN I WAS SLEEPING?! ARE YOU TRYING TO VIOLATE ME?!"

"Oh, please. Lower your voice. I have a low blood pressure in the morning. Your voice is too loud."

Leo got out of the bed. He tugged the bed sheet in Esen's hand and stole it, causing Esen to lose the only cover of her bare body.

Esen's face was redder than a tomato. She thought that Leo was serious about her.

The next moment, Leo turned around with the blanket. He hopped back to the bed to continue sleeping.

"Imma go back to sleep. I haven't slept 9 hours yet today. Unless you are thirsty, don't wake me up."

"…"

A few seconds later, Leo started snoring, leaving the crowd speechless.

Esen was still flustered, embarrassed, and angry. She jumped on the bed and punched him a few times. Unfortunately, she ended up hurting her fist as his body was too durable.

As she failed to get her revenge, she turned around and glared at her subordinates.

"You three were with me! Why didn't you stop him?!"

Marc trembled and confessed, "W-We can't possibly intervene, master. The Holy One doesn't have ill will against you. He simply wanted to sleep."

Ivy nodded, "We have been watching, master. He didn't do anything to do, so there was no point for us to stop him. Moreover, I think you benefited from the night since his virgin yang Qi and your virgin yin Qi moved in sync. I believe your Qi circulation has improved."

"…"

Esen flinched and rechecked her body. After Leo blessed her with a new physique, she grew a dantian, and she could still use the necromancy. When Esen sank her consciousness into her dantian, she discovered that there was a miniature solar system in her dantian.

The sun of her solar system was pitch black. However, faint strings of Leo's virgin yang Qi orbited around the black sun, providing light and warmth to this small universe.

Esen was stunned. She had never seen something like this before. After she pulled back her consciousness to the real world, she asked Ivy.

"Why is there a universe inside me? I thought I only had a black sea."

Ivy revealed a faint smile and surprised her.

"Congratulations, master. You are no longer a celestial emperor. You are officially a true immortal."

"…Wait, WHAT?!"

"If I may suggest, please continue sleep-hugging the Holy One whenever you have a chance. If better, please dual-cultivate with him, and your strength will rapidly grow!"

"YOU…W-WHAT?!"

.

.

After nine hours of sleep, Leo was refreshed. Despite being 50,000 years old, he still got a morning wood.

When Leo woke up, Esen and her minions were not around anymore. Also, it was already noon.

While getting out of bed, Leo checked his quest progress. As he had predicted, it went up a little.

Concoct at least 10,000 pills by using Alchemy Workshop. (4,680 / 10,000)

As Leo had nothing else to do, he decided to check the PVP Mode to see what he could gain from this dangerous feature. He opened the menu and browsed the Offline PVP Ranking.

Leo's name appeared at the bottom of the list. He was ranked as (-) as he had never fought anybody. However, above him, the number of rankings seemed suspicious.

The lowest rank was the 11527th rank, not counting the unranked people with zero points.

The lowest rank was a guy by the name Z'Ton. Aside from his total points of zero, his profile picture was in grey. The others above were also in a similar portrait style.

After looking at the bottom of the food chain, Leo peeked at the top rankers. The number one guy was a massive wolf, and his name was "Lucky". However, his portrait was in full color.

There was something strange here. Leo wondered why their portrait color tone was different.

'Are the grey portraits dead people? Is that the case?'

Leo pursed his lips. He closed the ranking screen and entered the Offline PVP mode to see how it worked. Browsing the menu, it showed the 10 people that Leo could pick as an opponent.

The list showed the 10 guys with zero points of Offline PVP mode. At the right of their portrait and rank, a button "Challenge" was available for Leo to press.

Leo chose the Z'Ton guy as he tried to play it safe.

As soon as Leo pressed it, the environment around him changed. He was directly teleported into a blank enclosed cubic room. In front of him, his opponent's shadow emerged from the ground.

Leo's opponent was an angel with eight white wings. He wore gold plate armor and wielded a lunar crescent spear. However, his face was clouded by black gas as if it were censored.

BEEP

The room turned red, and Leo's legs and arms stiffened as if they were petrified. His opponent also changed his expression as his entire body was restrained by an unknown force.

5…

4…

A countdown began. Judging from the pattern, it was not difficult to guess what it was for.

3…

2…

1…

FIGHT!

A loud male voice echoed in the room. As soon as the voice came out, the restricted forces released both of the contestants. The angel vanished and appeared behind Leo. He swung the halberd at his neck.

"Oh?"

CLANK!

The halberd directly hit Leo's nape, but it failed to cut through him.

"!!!"

The angel flinched and fluttered his wings to retreat. But Leo turned around and smiled at him.

"About the same strength as Esen, I guess. Well, thanks for the ticket."

Leo stomped on the ground and leaped toward the angel. Before the latter could unleash his true strength, Leo punched the guy in the chest.

The punch exploded and pushed the angel's ribcages, heart, lungs, spleen, and innards through the back, creating an eight-inch-wide gaping hole. Looking through the hole, Leo could see the other side of the room.

The angel stuttered. Before the angel collapsed, he detached eight wings from his body, and the wings transformed into eight men with the same gold armor and weapon. As for his original body, it transformed into blue crystals in a humanoid shape.

"Huh?"

Leo was surprised by the weird ability of the angel. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

"Mah, gawd. Are you a ninja, bro?"

The angel didn't reply. They all summoned their soul avatar, and their bodies merged with them. Eight ball-headed giants with halos hovering over their heads appeared.

Every blue giant had four humanoid arms and four legs. On their shoulders, two attached cannons were armed, and they pointed at Leo. Although they had humanoid limbs, their chests and stomachs were made of blue crystals.

Their halos span. Then, the giant angels screeched. 

Leo plugged his ears with his fingers because of their loud noise. Annoyed by the giants, he jumped at one of them.

Leo's left fist found the stomach crystal of the nearest giant angel.

CLANK

The crystal shattered, and the giant was broken in half. Its arms, legs, and heads turned into blue crystals and remained there.

But seven pairs of cannons unleashed their barrage. Seven blue beams came for Leo and they hit him.

The beams were burning hot. Leo frowned as it had the same temperature as blue tribulation lightning, but it had the destructive force of red lightning bolts.

"Yeah. You're not a crystal bearer for nothing. I understand now."

Leo stopped playing around. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he vanished. A split second later, he turned into a human bullet, blasting through another giant golem. He front-flipped and planted his feet on the wall. Then, he bounced toward the next target.

The giants might have a supreme firepower, but their movements were slow. After bouncing six times, all seven giants were destroyed.

Leo stopped jumping around. He gazed at the piles of blue crystals while he searched for his spatial rings. Fortunately, some rings remained on Leo's fingers and clothes.

Without hesitation, Leo stored the blue crystals in his spatial rings. After all, this guy seemed special.

DING

<Congratulations. You have defeated Z'Ton. You have gained three Offline Ranking Points.>

<You have obtained one Gnosis Lucky Draw Ticket.>