Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 170 – Florida Man Invented New Strongest Flashlight, Accident Blinded Himself and His Employees by during Experiment.

"Pylon Tower? Is this an electric pylon pole or a Starcraft one?"

Leo couldn't help but smile. He rushed outside as he wanted to see what the pylon tower was. As the west district was empty, Leo built the massive pylon tower right away.

DING

A steel pyramid manifested from nothingness. It occupied half of the designated land that Leo had sacrificed. A 30-meter-tall diamond-shaped rainbow-color crystal hovered over the steel platform. It rotated clockwise and released cold air.

Leo gawked at the large pylon crystal in astonishment. While Leo admired his creation, the others also came to see the new structure as it produced something special.

Hua Jiashan was the first to find Leo. He rushed to the latter's side and pointed at the pylon tower in shock.

"L-Lord Florida Man! W-Where did you get that Spirit Stone Heart?!"

"Spirit Stone Heart?" Leo stopped looking at the pylon crystal and turned to Hua Jiashan. He tilted his head in confusion, "What's that?"

"I-It's the heart of all spirit stones, senior! When I was young, these crystals were what made us cultivators. They fill this realm with elemental Qi while we, the cultivators, absorb its Qi to become immortal. I-I thought the former Yan Emperor took everything with him."

"So, you're saying, that Eren Yeager's butt plug is a Qi generator?"

"Erm, what?"

"Let me rephrase that. Is that crystal a Qi factory?"

"Y-Yes, senior! That crystal is very important! As long as we have one of them in this realm, our world will be filled with natural Qi, and our people can get strong fast! B-But, there might be an issue."

"What now?" Leo crossed his arms and stared at Hua Jiashan.

This guy once forced him to give up the Sweet Dream Mushroom farm. Fortunately, Leo managed to import a world tree from the mystic realm and grow some mushrooms, so the project continued.

Leo was cautious of Hua Jiashan. He didn't want this paranoid old man to ruin his fun again.

"S-Senior," Hua Jiashan looked around. He spotted a hundred young disciples gathering on top of the parking lot building to admire the new structure. Then, he discovered what he had feared.

The disciples on the building had a pale complexion. They were fine in the beginning, but weak ones began vomiting. Some of the young Qi-condensation realm cultivators couldn't handle the dense Qi in the air.

Hua Jiashan faced Leo again.

"S-Senior. The Qi of the Spirit Stone Heart is too strong for young cultivators to handle. Please create an array to filter or contain its Qi. Otherwise, our disciples might die from Qi deviation."

"…"

Leo pursed his lips and looked at the crowd around them. Upon gazing at the parking lot, he noticed a hundred young men on the rooftop and the seventh floor, staring at the pylon crystal.

"Tsk."

Leo was annoyed. He walked toward the steel pyramid and touched it.

DING

The Yin-Yang Pylon Tower's menu screen appeared, informing Leo what it could do.

.

Yin-Yang Pylon Tower Level 1

Yin and Yang Essence Production Level (1/10)

Fire Essence Production Level (0/10)

Water Essence Production Level (0/10)

Wood Essence Production Level (0/10)

Earth Essence Production Level (0/10)

Metal Essence Production Level (0/10)

  [Unlock New Element Slot] (0/4) – 10,000 Years of Lifespan

[Upgrade] – 10,000 Years of Lifespan

.

There was no sign or hint about an array or a filter that Hua Jiashan needed.

As the upgrade fee was quite high, Leo rechecked his lifespan to see his balance.

<Current Lifespan: 361,154 Years…>

Leo indeed spent a lot in the past few days. Even though he managed to snatch some talismans from the dead cultivators and ate them, the rewarded lifespan was not enough to regain his losses. 

Looking at his current lifespan, Leo was reminded of the Floridian Pills that one of his workshops had been making. He believed it should already be finished and collected.

'I'll go check those pills later. I hope they can give me some lifespan for the trouble. Otherwise, it would have been a waste of time. Those things took 30 days to make!'

While thinking, Leo upgraded the pylon tower to level 10. He got nine status points to allocate, but he hadn't chosen a status yet.

RUMBLE

The tower froze for a moment. Then, seven yellowish saucer hoops appeared putting the crystal in the center. The hoops rotated in a different direction as if they were an Aerotrim that astronauts usually used to train their balance. However, the crystal didn't move along with the rapidly rotating rings.

As the hoops moved in every axis, Qi stopped coming out. Instead, the energy flowed toward the pyramid, and the structure shone.

White lines illuminated and flowed toward the foot of the pyramid. At the same time, the ground around the pyramid elevated, revealing a grey floor, made of unknown steel.

The light traveled everywhere on the grey floor like a fluid flowing down from a mountain, following mysterious geometrical circular drainages. As the light expanded, Leo and Hua Jiashan looked at the ground and noticed a pattern.

"Circles?" Leo discovered that the lines of light drawn multiple circles on the ground. Moreover, he could feel warm Qi from the areas in the circles.

"I-Isn't this?"

Hua Jiashan picked a spot and sat inside a circle. He closed his eyes to meditate for a moment. A second later, he widened his eyes and laughed.

"Lord Florida Man! Thank you!"

"???" Leo tilted his head and wryly smiled, "Er, thank me for what?"

Hua Jiashan looked around. He pointed at the circles on the ground.

"My lord. I can't tell you how much I'm moved. Not only did you contain the Qi for us, but you created cultivation hotspots for young cultivators! I can sense a smooth flow of Qi from these circles! If they sit on it and cultivate here, their progress will improve leap and bound!"

"…"

Leo still didn't understand what it actually did. However, he did sense mild radiation from the surface of the ground. He wondered if Hua Jiashan's disciples might develop skin cancer on their butt cheeks if they overused this place.

"Welp, suit yourself. Is the leakage issue solved now?" Leo changed the subject. He wondered if those young men in the RVs could live in there.

"No problem, senior! I don't feel the oppressive Qi from before anymore!"

"…Okay. That's good."

Leo was relieved. For once, Hua Jiashan wouldn't ruin his domain development project.

Still, as the pylon tower was related to the Qi production, he wondered if he should focus on one element or multiple elements. He asked Hua Jiashan.

"Say, Elder Hua."

"Yes, my lord?"

"Which do you think is better? A specialized Qi tower or an all-rounder tower?"

"What do you mean, senior?"

Leo let out a long sigh. He confessed, "I can make this tower produce all five elements essence and yin-yang essence. But if I do that, the quality and the quantity of each Qi type might be low. But if I choose to specialize in one type, I can make the best… Spirit Stone Heart in the universe, maybe."

"W-WHAT?!"

"Anyway, just tell me which element your people generally prefer. We have Yin and Yang. We also have fire, water, earth, metal, and wood elements."

"…"

Hua Jiashan's entire body stiffened. He was frozen in time as if Dio Brando activated his power nearby.

The old man's brain.exe stopped working.

He wasn't the only one who was so shocked that he was petrified. Wu Buyi, Han Hao, Dongfang Mei, and a few elders nearby had been eavesdropping their conversation, and they were frozen in time as well.

Since every cultivator around him was useless, Leo thought of another old witch that had lived 10,000 years. She might know something.

Leo jumped to the 8th floor of the parking lot. He got on the motorhome bus and searched for Esen in the master cabin.

He found Esen on the second floor of the cabin. Ivy, Marc, and Beatrice were also there with her. The group of undead all wore modern bikini swimsuits and rested on an artificial beach.

"Esen, I need your opinion," Leo approached Esen, who was in the middle of sunbathing. She lay on her stomach, revealing her bare back.

Looking at the smooth back of the elf lich, Leo's eyes naturally looked down and found her perky bottom. Although she didn't move, Leo could tell that they would jiggle if someone slapped them.

He had to admit. Although Esen's chest was an "L", her bottom was a huge "W". 

The intrusive thought and the temptation were dangerous this time. Leo looked away from her white butt cheeks and clenched his right wrist with his left hand.

'MUST.NOT.SPANK.'

Esen noticed Leo's arrival. She turned her head and glanced at him.

"What's up, geezer?"

"I made a… Spirit Stone Heart. I'm wondering which element I should prioritize. Should I make it a multi-element one or should I specialize it."

As soon as Leo mentioned Spirit Stone Heart, Ivy, Marc, and Beatrice turned around. Although they still wore the blindfolds, they looked interested in the topic.

Marc was excited, "Can you make it Yin Element? Undead like us need it the most. If we have that, we can resurrect our colleagues!"

Ivy agreed. She chimed in. "Holy One. This may sound selfish, but we need Yin Element. Not only do we benefit from the element, but the nightmares, thunder unicorns, and your pet "Cat" will enjoy it. Yin element is the best nutrition we need."

Esen slowly sat up. She covered her chest with one arm while Beatrice brought a towel to cover her front. After covering herself, Esen gave her opinion.

"Focus on Yin and Yang, period! Ignore the basic elements. As long as you have abundant yin Qi or yang Qi inside you, you can cultivate every other element!"

Hearing Esen's advice, Leo was enlightened, "I see. Thanks for the tips."

"Hmm! Have you realized my greatness now?" Esen puffed her chest and pointed her nose to the sky. However, by doing so, the towel fell off, revealing her naked front.

"…"

Leo looked down and stared at the great plain. He smirked.

"You would have been greater had you been blessed with twin mountains. Unfortunately, your RNGesus did your genes dirty. Maybe you were born with low Estrogen. I want to suggest Estrogen injection, but that will surely give you breast cancer. But if you can handle small risks, you can take birth control pills to boost your hormones. I'm sure they will grow bigger, maybe. Oh, by the way, your nipples are erected."

"…"

Esen silently looked at her chest and discovered that she was half naked. Her face reddened in embarrassment.

"MUKIIIIII!! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"WHY?! I was just giving you proper advice!"

Esen screamed and baby-punched Leo. The latter laughed and ran away while the girl chased after him.

.

.

After being chased around the bus for several minutes, Leo purchased a pack of modern contraceptive pills for Esen to boost her hormones. Although they cost 1,000 years of lifespan, it was enough to silence her for the time being.

Leo returned to the tower. As Esen had suggested, Leo added all points to the Yin-Yang element.

.

Yin-Yang Pylon Tower Level 10

Yin and Yang Essence Production Level (10/10)

Fire Essence Production Level (0/10)

Water Essence Production Level (0/10)

Wood Essence Production Level (0/10)

Earth Essence Production Level (0/10)

Metal Essence Production Level (0/10)

[Unlock New Element Slot] (0/4) – 10,000 Years of Lifespan

[Upgrade] – 10,000 Years of Lifespan

.

With the specialized path, the light on the ground illuminated everything around the pyramid. They were so bright that it flashbanged everybody nearby.

Leo basked in the blinding light from the ground. His trembling hands operated the online shopping system as he purchased sunglasses. After putting them on, he recovered from the temporary blindness. 

He looked around, wondering how the others fared under the intense light.

Hua Jiashan and the elders all closed their eyes and turned away from the tower. As for the innocent juniors on the parking lot's rooftop, they screamed in unison.

"MY EYES!"

Leo's expression turned into a pokerface meme. He thought of the prosthetic eyeballs that he created ages ago.

'I guess I'll have some new customers soon. Those eyeballs are going to sell like hotcakes. Oh, I should add some sunglasses to my store.'