Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 165 – Florida Man Broke into Stranger's House and Stole Garden Light Bulb

Gao Yan scratched his face. The fire slightly cooked his skin, but the damage wasn't severe. Though, his hairstyle turned into an afro because of the burn.

He felt nothing after he murdered Yan Zhu. After all, the third prince tried to kill him first.

After Leo dealt with the emperor, the crowd dispersed in every direction. Gao Yan took this opportunity to steal Yan Zhu's storage rings and his handmade pistol. He picked it up to get a closer look.

As Gao Yan had seen Leo's matchlock rifles, he was slightly familiar with the gun structures. Inspecting the gun, he realized its perks and its shortcomings.

The weapon depended on essence stones as the muzzle and the structure was off. The hammer looked like a makeshift arbalest without a string, which was used to artificially ignite the essence stone bullet forward. Overall, the gun looked like a metal pipe attached to a handle.

"What a lousy weapon."

As Gao Yan was aware of the firearm's firepower, he hated to see other cultivators using these godlike weapons. He clenched his fist and crushed the fake pistol.

After turning Yan Zhu's pistol into a metal scrap, Gao Yan turned around and walked toward Leo. However, the latter was busy chatting with Esen.

Unable to interrupt the seniors, Gao Yan turned to Tiger Swordsman. He presented Yan Zhu's storage rings to the elder.

"Elder Tiger, I got these rings from the prince. Could you pass it to Lord Florida Man?"

Tiger Swordsman was surprised that Gao Yan turned the items to him instead of keeping them to himself.

"Did you rob those from the prince?"

"Erm, yes."

"Then, why don't you keep them? You killed the prince, right? You can keep what you killed."

"But, err," Gao Yan looked behind him. He scanned the empty arenas and the carnage.

In the sky, a few cultivators still remained in the area, observing Leo and his team. Some rogue cultivators fixated on the corpses of Yan Xiang and Yan Luo as if they were vultures staring at their prey. 

Gao Yan might be cowardly and naïve, but he wasn't stupid. He just openly robbed the prince in front of the crowd. Therefore, some of the cultivators in the sky might have a bad idea about him. Moreover, he didn't know if the rings stored something too precious that the other cultivators sought.

Instead of keeping the treasures and wealth, he might as well contribute something to Leo so that he could get another form of reward. In the future, Should those cultivators capture and ask Gao Yan about the rings, he could just tell them that Leo had them.

"I'm still too weak. Keeping something precious with me is like a child wearing a gold necklace and waltzing into a slum area."

Tiger Swordsman chuckled and smacked Gao Yan's back, "You fool. Your weapons are definitely more precious than those rings. You have a weapon that can easily kill a soul formation cultivator and negate their dao avatar's attacks. That alone warrants a bounty on your head. It's too late, now."

"Eh?!"

"Seriously, if I were one of them, I would have memorized your face, too. You got a target on your back, boy."

"…"

Gao Yan's eyes were teary. He then turned around to look at Xu Nuan, Yao Qiqi, and others.

The girls gathered around Gao Yan to soothe him. One of the tamer girls coyly hugged his arm.

"Senior Brother Gao, you might not know, but the girls in the dorm have been talking about you. They said that you're the hottest disciple of Florida Domain, you know?"

"W-What?"

"Lord Florida Man and Elder Wu Buyi favor you. You receive not one but TWO precious artifacts from Lord Florida Man! Everybody is calling you a golden bachelor!"

"…"

"Say, do you have a girlfriend?"

Thora immediately coughed and glared at the tamer girl. Unfortunately, the tamer girl couldn't see Thora. Only Yao Qiqi could see her.

Yao Qiqi looked back and forth between Thora and Gao Yan. Then, she warned her sisters.

"Senior Brother Gao Yan already has a girlfriend."

"EH?!"

The tamer girls were stunned for a moment. A few seconds later, they squealed as they got a new scoop.

"Who is his girlfriend?!"

"Not telling." Yao Qiqi laughed.

"Boo!"

The disciples laughed and cheered as the tension died down. Tiger Swordsman and Xu Nuan were also relieved as everything went well for their faction.

The only thing that troubled them was the aftermath. Without Yan Xiang and his sons, the entire continent would become lawless. Orthodox sects and unorthodox cults would break their peace treaty and start a new war. They wondered what Leo would do in this situation.

.

Leo stopped chatting with Esen. He turned around and ordered the crew.

"Tiger, Xu Nuan, you two escort the boy and girls back to the bus. Cat, Ivy, Beatrice, Marc, you are the only capable fighters here. Protect them while they are on their way back and wait for me there."

Tiger Swordsman nodded, "What about you, my lord?"

"I and this brat are going shopping. The daddy will come home late. Wait for me at the bus."

"…Alright, my lord."

Yao Qiqi blinked several times before she looked at Esen. She had a funny feeling about both Leo and Esen.

"Lord Florida Man, if you're the daddy, who's the mommy?"

"…"

Everybody but Leo instantly turned toward Esen. For some reason, both of them had a similar air, and they seemed close.

Leo caught on to their weird look. He shut down their fantasies.

"I ain't dating her in this lifetime. She's flat like paper. What's the point of licking a board? I want real milkers, not sunny-side eggs!"

"YOU WHAT?!"

Esen was offended. She glared at Leo and kicked his leg. Again, she ended up hurting herself.

"DAMMIT, YOU MONSTER!"

Leo cackled and pressed his hand on her head, bullying her again even though she looked like a proper teenager. He leaped forward and vanished into the city.

Esen screeched in anger. She flew and chased after Leo, wanting to get back at him.

.

.

Leo and Esen arrived at Yan Xiang's palace. As soon as they landed, they found a chaotic scene.

A hundred eunuchs and servants were already corpses. Cultivators from unknown clans summoned their dao avatars and randomly attacked various buildings. Sounds of women's screams came from everywhere.

"Wow," Leo was astonished.

"Don't look away. You did this," Esen snickered and mocked Leo.

"I guess even a crooked emperor can be a pillar of a country."

"This is more like a thief's den. Without a leader, thieves fight among themselves for their loot. All cultivators are a bunch of thieves, scavengers, tomb robbers, and bandits. If you look at them carefully, you will realize that they are all jobless. Some of them are even homeless! Commoners work for food while cultivators only steal from others. Tell me which one is better."

"…That's rude."

"It's a fact!"

Leo stopped arguing with Esen. As nobody picked a fight with them, Leo rushed into the throne room where he had met Yan Xiang for the first time.

From Leo's memory, behind the throne room were usually the chambers of the emperor and their bodyguards. Sometimes, their concubines and children resided there for safety. If one wished to find something valuable from the emperor, one had to search the emperor's bedroom first.

Sprinting to the throne room, he came across more dead bodies. Most of them were the palace guards, who were all 6th-stage cultivators. A few soul formation cultivators and eunuchs also died here.

The wounds of the corpses came from sword wounds. The cut was so clean that it looked like someone killed them with one attack.

Leo had a bad feeling about this, but he proceeded forward. Esen also followed after him.

The palace layout and structure were as Leo had predicted. Behind the throne room was a series of residential areas for Yan Xiang and his concubines. Small rooms within the palace were given to eunuchs, whose corpses were inside every room.

As Leo kept proceeding further, he noticed a person in the Fatui Cult's uniform carrying a woman on his shoulder. As the cultist turned around, his eyes met with Leo's.

"Ah, pillager."

For the sake of not wasting a bullet, Leo kicked the ground and instantly appeared in front of the cultist.

"WHAT?!"

The cultist was a soul transformation cultivator, who wasn't present when Leo raided its HQ. He thought that he could sneak into the palace during the chaos and snatch some riches that Yan Xiang had left behind. But in the end, he only managed to secure a pretty concubine of Yan Xiang to be his wife.

It was too late for the cultist to have a wife. As soon as Leo got in front of the hooded cultist, he kicked the guy to the nuts.

CRACK

Not only the balls were broken, the cultist's pelvis was shattered to pieces. The impact was so severe that it dislocated the cultist's spinal cord and crushed his innards.

Unsatisfied with the light injuries, Leo gave him a love tap with a jab to the face.

PLOP

Like a shattering watermelon hit by a hammer, the cultist's skull and head got blasted to pieces. Pink and white flesh came out, splattering the hallway.

The concubine girl fell from the cultist's shoulder. She trembled and looked up in fright.

Leo silently glanced at her, "Go."

"!!!"

The woman tried to stand and run, but her legs gave in. She wet her skirt while she trembled in panic.

Leo shook his head and squatted. He looked at the woman's face and asked her.

"Want me to help you?"

The woman heavily nodded while she cried.

Upon looking at the woman's face closer, Leo realized that she was a beauty. Although her long wet messy hair covered half of her face, her eyes, nose, mouth, and facial outline were similar to Lisa from Black Pink.

Unfortunately, this girl's asset was undesirable for Leo's standard. He glanced down for a moment before he marked her as unwanted.

"Tell me where the emperor keeps his treasure, and I'll bring you out of this place."

The woman gulped. She then raised her trembling arm and pointed at a big room that Leo had ignored.

"T-T-The library. T-There's a secret room underground. I don't know where and how to get there, but I know there's one for an emergency."

"Good job."

Leo widely grinned and turned around. He ordered Esen, "Bring this woman out of this city for me."

"What? Why should I?" Esen was annoyed.

"If I touch her, she's dead. You know that my body is special, right?"

Esen narrowed her eyes and scoffed, "Fine, you monster. Half of the treasures you find belong to me, alright?!"

"Deal."

Esen grumblingly walked toward the woman. She carried her on her shoulders in a fireman carry style. Then, she flew away from the palace. However, instead of bringing the concubine outside the city, she brought the woman to Leo's bus.

After Esen had left, Leo proceeded to the library.

.

.

In the library, everything was a mess. Scrolls, books, and papers were scattered everywhere as cultivators had already searched this place for cultivation manuals. Unfortunately for them, this place only stored government documents.

Leo toured the library for a few minutes. As all books and scrolls were already on the ground, all shelves were empty. There was no sign of a book-lever mechanism in here.

As Leo couldn't find the secret passage, he started using his other senses. He began sniffing like a police dog.

The room was filled with bamboo and papyrus-like odor. Leo's nostril ached after he inhaled too much small paper powder and dust.

A few minutes later, Leo sensed cold air from the floor and the wall. There were two spots that he detected.

Leo walked toward the north wall. In front of the wall was a series of empty bookshelves. As Leo didn't need the shelves anymore, he pulled the shelf away and hit the wall with his fist.

BOOM

The wall exploded and collapsed, revealing a secret corridor.

"There you go."

The pathway was a narrow stairway to an underground passage. However, Leo sniffed the air and frowned.

The air smelled like iron and sour sweat. It was fresh. From Leo's experience, this scent indicated fresh corpses and people who had never taken a bath for centuries.

Since the destination reeked of blood, Leo turned away from the secret passage. He walked toward the second area.

In front of Leo was a golden pillar. It was located at the center of the library. Strangely, no bookshelf was in the way.

Leo smirked and touched the pillar. He stored the entire thing in his spatial ring.

RUMBLE

The ceiling caved in a little. However, without a pillar, the ladder to another underground area was visible.

Leo looked down and sniffed again. This time, he detected the scent of plants and medical herbs. Moreover, strange Qi came out from the underground area.

"This is the one!"

Leo jumped down the hole.

Upon reaching the bottom, Leo saw a bright light. There was another passage to a bright room.

Leo entered the room. Upon reaching his destination, he was greeted by a large underground garden of medical herbs.

On the left side, Leo found hundreds of ginseng and mandrakes. On the right, a dozen shelves were full of glass bottles of medical pills.

However, at the center of the room, there was an altar.

Leo's eyes were attracted to the pedestal at the center of the room. He walked closer to check the glowing orb on the pedestal.

As soon as Leo got closer, his system reacted.

<Detecting Earth Fate Crystal!>

<A new mission has been generated.>