Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 159 – Florida Man Identified as Disabled Joins Paralympic Games, Breaks Every World Record.

RUMBLE

As Cat, Taxi, and Ricardo reverted to their original form, their aura exploded. The eerie and ominous yin Qi made the air chilly. Combined with their killing intent, their glares stirred every string of Qi around the arena, causing all cultivators' dantians to churn.

Meanwhile, Cat exuded the air of an 8th-stage monster. She was a tier weaker than the unicorn and the nightmare, but she was capable of holding her own weight.

Tang Xuan and his people silently observed Leo's group and wryly smiled. He ordered Tang Tian and other elders to be silent.

On the other hand, Yan Zhu flinched as he instantly recognized the strength of Taxi and Ricardo. Both horses were 9th-stage monster beasts, and their strength was on par with real immortals!

"MONSTER BEASTS?!"

The spectators panicked. As the average strength of spectators was a measly nascent soul stage, aka the 5th stage, their presence and strength were akin to an insect in front of the three predators.

Yan Xiang leaped from his throne and landed on top of the boulder of verification. He glared at the monsters and Leo.

"Do you realize what you are doing, Immortal Florida Man?! This is a competition between juniors. Why are you bringing those monsters along?!"

Leo lightly scoffed. He pointed his thumb at Yao Qiqi and the two tamer girls from the Amazonian Sanctuary.

"You told us to introduce our juniors, so here they are. They will participate in this tournament… or game… or whatever this mental Paralympics is."

Yan Xiang glanced at the monsters and yelled at Leo, "According to the rules, only HUMAN CULTIVATORS with the BONE AGE under 18 can participate in this tournament! No monsters allowed!"

Leo smirked. Then, he winked at Xu Nuan, "You explain."

Xu Nuan realized that it was her time to shine. She stepped forward and saluted Yan Xiang, pretending to be polite.

"Let me explain, Your Majesty. Indeed, according to the agreements and rules, only cultivators can join this event. However, beast and monster tamers are an exception. Do you remember the special rules?"

"…"

Yan Xiang narrowed his eyes as he had seen Xu Nuan's face somewhere before, but he couldn't remember. Qi Niu, who had been clinging to Yan Zhu's side, mocked Xu Nuan to remind him of Xu Nuan's origin. 

"Old hag Xu, you know nothing! The rules only allow the Amazonian Sanctuary's representatives to bring one monster or beast per person! It doesn't include you, traitors!"

Xu Nuan looked up. Her eyes met with the former disciple's. She remained expressionless as she lamented.

"Alas, Qi Niu. We did everything we could so that none of you would end up as someone's toys or slaves. It seems that we were wrong."

"That's right! You were wrong, old hag! Look at me!" Qi Niu laughed and flexed her status. As a royal consort, she obtained new dresses, artifacts, and cultivation resources from Yan Zhu. Her cultivation base improved by leaps and bounds. 

"Indeed. Even though your cultivation aptitude is downright garbage, you successfully become a prince's toilet. I didn't know that you wished to become a prostitute that badly. Had I known you better, I would have sold you to a brothel and realized your dream earlier."

"WHAT?!"

"My sincere apologies, Qi Niu. Indeed, we are inferior to you, sex-craved gold-digging slut young lady. We can't compare our sexual experience to you, who have experienced so many golden schlongs. In fact, we aren't qualified to have a conversation with you, whose belly has been penetrated by god-know-how-many men."

"XU NUAN!!"

Qi Niu was enraged. Her face reddened, and her nose bleed from anger and blood pressure.

While the women launched a firework, Leo inwardly gave Xu Nuan a thumbs up as she colorfully silenced the annoying wench on the flying ship. Still, they hadn't solved their primary issue.

As Yan Xiang was the host, he could change the rules anytime. Their scheme might fail.

Yan Xiang raised his hand and looked at Yan Zhu. The latter nodded and pulled his wife away.

After Qi Niu stopped making noise, Yan Xiang did exactly what Leo had predicted.

"As she said, woman. Amazonian Sanctuary cultivated beast tamers, not a fighter. That was why we allowed their representatives to bring their pets here to fight in their stead. However, you do not have the same luxury since you aren't from a tamer-oriented sect or clan."

Leo snorted, "Even though three of them are from the sanctuary?"

"No exception. Only human cultivators can participate in this event. Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. If you don't have five participants, your group will be disqualified from entering this event, thus losing the bed by default."

"Hohoh? Is that how you are going to play?"

One after another, Yan Xiang kept using underhanded tricks to suppress Leo.

Leo's eye color changed from green to red. Since Yan Xiang shamelessly tried to cheat his way to victory, he stopped playing nice. 

"Five representatives, is it?"

Leo's eyes shifted toward Esen. He then ejected a dozen barrels of tea from his spatial ring.

"Esen."

"Yeah?"

"Could you go and fetch us the REMAINING representatives that are still DEAD sleeping?"

"Remaining representatives? Aren't we… Ohoh?"

"Yeah. Your FRIENDS from your HOMETOWN are still sleeping like CORPSES, right? Why don't you go and RESURRECT them? Oh, don't forget to drown them with TEA so that they can feel ALIVE again!"

Esen might be loud and obnoxious most of the time, but she was still a former empress, who used to govern the world. She instantly caught on the hint.

"Yeah, I remember them. I'm still carrying their gears in my storage rings. I'll be right back. Oh, I'll take those too."

Esen collected the barrels of tea and flew back to the abandoned courtyard.

After Esen had left, Leo crossed his arms and faced Yan Xiang.

"As you wish, she will bring the contestants here shortly. You don't mind waiting an hour or two for my guys to arrive, right?"

Yan Xiang frowned and glanced at the departing girl. For some reason, he couldn't measure Esen's cultivation base. But since Esen could fly, Yan Xiang guessed that her strength might be at the 3rd or 4th stage at best. After all, she didn't look old.

Yan Zhu also secretly ogled Esen. As Esen was a pretty blond high-elf, her beauty was unique and otherworldly. Her face, her flawless smooth skin, and and her silky hair made Esen a lot more attractive than Qi Niu.

He wanted her.

While Yan Xiang contemplated what he should do in this situation, Yan Zhu came up with an idea.

"Father!"

"What?" Yan Xiang looked at his third son on the flying ship.

"Let's add a new wager. Since Immortal Florida Man delays the event, we need some compensation."

"Compensation?" Yan Xiang raised his eyebrow. He had no idea what his son was cooking, "What compensation?"

Yan Zhu's voice was so crisp that everybody could hear it.

"We can allow Immortal Florida Man to take the verification test later. But since he made us wait, we will impose a penalty for his group. Of course, we will not do anything to him. But we will add a new wager on top of the previous agreement."

Yan Xiang's face turned dark. As he knew the behavior of his lecherous son, he knew what Yan Zhu might ask for, "What is the wager?"

Yan Zhu pointed at the girls behind Leo.

"They were from the Amazonian Sanctuary, right? According to my concubine, they are the traitors of their sect. Therefore, it is our duty to uphold justice when the members of the Jianghu Alliance request our aid. We will imprison those women, including the girl that has just left."

"Hmm."

Overheard the conversation, Leo raised his eyebrow, bewildered by Yan Zhu's dumb logic. Xu Nuan glared at Yan Zhu in anger while Yao Qiqi and the girls panicked. As for Taxi, Ricardo, Gao Yan, and Tiger Swordsman, they were enraged.

"Isn't that a bit overbearing, boy?" Leo sarcastically laughed.

Yan Zhu sneered, "I didn't say that we would imprison everybody right away. I said that we would add this condition to the wager. Therefore, we will only arrest those girls if your side loses. Of course, if you win, your crime will be pardoned."

"I see. Is that how you're going to play it?"

Leo deeply inhaled, suppressing the urge to nuke this city to oblivion. He had a thousand ideas on how to murder Yan Zhu as painfully as possible. But for now, he needed to teach these arrogant people a lesson.

"Well, since you set the rules, make sure you play by the book, sir. By the way, since my juniors will take a while, why don't you show us how your representatives verify your age with that boulder?"

"Hahahahaha! Sure!"

Yan Zhu and Qi Niu jumped down from the flying ship. Three men in silver armor also leaped onto the stage while holding the banners of the Yan Clan.

The third prince introduced himself. He cupped his fist and saluted every spectator, except Leo's group.

"Greetings, fellow Daoists! My name is Yan Zhu, and I'm 17 this year! I'll be joining this season's event as the Yan Clan's representative!"

.

"Huh?"

Xu Nuan, Tang Xuan, Tang Tian, and bystanders from neutral clans and sects were confused. As they had interacted with Yan Zhu in the past, they were aware of Yan Zhu's real age.

It was definitely not 17!

He was over 150 years old!

While the spectators from the neutral faction looked perplexed, the accomplices from the Jianghu Alliance either clapped or praised the third prince.

"The prince is very talented. He is only 17, but his aura is very domineering!"

"What is his cultivation base now? Is it the soul transformation stage?"

"17 years old at the soul transformation stage?! The imperial family is really blessed! Hahahaha!"

Some of them sounded sarcastic, but nobody pointed out the irregularity of the age and Yan Zhu's cultivation base.

Meanwhile, Yao Qiqi and Gao Yan were terrified. They thought that they were the chosen ones as they managed to reach the nascent soul stage at a young age. Unfortunately, someone appeared and declared that they were more talented than them.

Xu Nuan noticed their dark expressions. She patted them and whispered.

"Don't believe in them. Those liars are making things up. That third prince's real age is 150 or so. It seems that the tournament is rigged."

"W-What? It's rigged?!"

"Precisely so. Lord Florida Man already told us what happened. Yan Xiang is trying to suppress Lord Florida Man and expel him from the continent. They're using the tournament and the wager contract as a tool to trap him."

"W-Will we be okay?"

"I… don't know."

Xu Nuan couldn't come up with the right words to soothe Yao Qiqi and Gao Yan. She gazed at Leo, trying to guess what he had been scheming or thinking.

.

While Xu Nuan and others speculated what Leo would do in this situation, Yan Zhu patted Qi Niu's back, ordering her to hit the verification boulder.

"You first."

"…Alright, husband."

Because of Yan Zhu's help, Qi Niu managed to advance to the golden core stage. Among her peers, she was considered a genius. But when everybody compared her to the old men here, she looked cute.

Yan Zhu brought her along so that she could earn some reputation from the seniors of the Jianghu Alliance. Also, this would be her debut appearance as his official concubine.

Qi Niu mustered her earth element Qi into her fist. Then, she punched the boulder.

BOOM

The boulder shone. Then, words appeared on the flat surface as the artifact confirmed Qi Niu's age and her cultivation base.

.

Name: Qi Niu

Age: 16

Cultivation Base: 3rd-Rank Golden Core Stage[1]

Power Output: 1st-Rank Golden Core Stage

.

The court officials and members from the Jianghu Alliance nodded in approval. Although Qi Niu was a lot weaker than their disguised elders, her achievement was acceptable.

"Good! Next!"

Yan Zhu let his three subordinates hit the boulder. All of them were war veterans who had drunk enough tea of rejuvenation.

BOOM

.

Name: Ou Jang

Age: 14

Cultivation Base: 7th-Rank Soul Transformation Stage

Power Output: 5th-Rank Soul Transformation Stage

.

As soon as the result appeared, the accomplices grinned while the people from the Tang Clan smacked their lips in disgust.

The person was obviously cheating. It was impossible for a 14-year-old boy to be 1.8 meters tall and reach this cultivation rank!

The next two soldiers hit the boulder as well. Like the first soldier, the result showed up as a 15-year-old boy having the cultivation base of a soul transformation.

Then, it was Yan Zhu's turn.

BOOM

.

Name: Yan Zhu

Age: 16

Cultivation Base: 9th-Rank Soul Transformation Stage

Power Output: 9th-Rank Soul Transformation Stage

.

Yan Zhu burst into laughter while his accomplices chuckled. It seemed that Yan Zhu drank too much tea that his bone age regressed too much.

After Yan Zhu's team finished their turns, Yan Xiang called other groups over.

"Next, the Ouyang Clan! Show everybody how far you cultivated your juniors!"

"Yes, Your Majesty!"

.

.

An hour later, all seven teams of participants finished their turn, except for Leo's team.

Tiger Swordsman, Xu Nuan, and Leo's expressions were dark. Except for Qi Niu, all participants were soul transformation stage cultivators.

"What a shameless bunch," Xu Nuan grumbled.

"These people are despicable, Lord Florida Man! We should void the wagers and go back. There's no point competing with these cheaters," Tiger Swordsman was disappointed in Yan Zhu and the Jianghu Alliance's immaturity. He was disillusioned.

Leo remained silent. He stroked his braided beard, waiting for Esen to finish her preparation.

Unfortunately, Yan Xiang didn't want to wait. He shouted, commanding Leo to bring his team forward.

"It's your turn, Immortal Florida Man! If you fail to present five contestants for this event, your team will be disqualified!"

"…"

Leo deeply sighed. He glanced at Gao Yan.

"You go first."

Gao Yan trembled in fear, "R-Really? Me? Against all those 7th-stage cultivators?"

"Yeah, you. Go and get this over with."

"B-But I-I-I might die!"

"You won't. Trust me."

"…"

Gao Yan reluctantly got on the stage. He dragged his feet and looked back at Leo several times before he gave up resisting.

Facing the boulder, Gao Yan mustered his courage. He closed his eyes as the memory of his past flashed before his eyes. After the short flashback moment, Gao Yan's aura soared.

RUMBLE

Instead of exuding the air of a nascent soul cultivator, his Qi volume surpassed that of a soul formation cultivator!

Then, he threw a punch.

BOOM

The result came out.

.

Name: Gao Yan

Age: 16

Cultivation Base: 1st-Rank Nascent Soul Stage

Power Output: 5th-Rank Soul Formation Stage

.

As soon as the result appeared, Yan Zhu, Yan Xiang, and the people of Jianghu Alliance changed their expressions. They looked at Gao Yan in disbelief.

"I-Is he really 16?!"

"H-He is legit, right?"

"That… that's a real talent. He's the true gem!"

Hesitant appeared in the accomplices' eyes as they coveted Gao Yan. They secretly schemed in their mind, hoping to poach Gao Yan from Leo after this event.

"NEXT!"

Yan Xiang swallowed his astonishment. He pressed on, trying to push Leo to send weaker juniors to fight.

Leo pursed his lips. He looked at Yao Qiqi for a moment. However, he immediately changed his mind. 

Yao Qiqi was too young. As she couldn't use Cat in combat, the fight might be too risky for her. Leo couldn't use Cat either as Yan Xiang forbade him from using any monster beast.

"Immortal Florida Man, your next representative?"

"…"

Leo slightly opened his mouth and was about to order one of the tamers to jump on the stage. However, his sharp nose caught a mixed scent of Esen and a group of strangers with a similar odor. A wide smile appeared on his face.

"They're here."

"Hmm?"

As soon as Leo finished his sentence, Esen descended and landed on the stage. Following her, two girls and one boy also arrived.

The boy came with a set of worn-out purple knight armor, carrying a massive bastard sword on his back as if he were inspired by a certain famous manga series. Meanwhile, one of the girls only had a tattered black robe and wielded a long cane. As for the last girl, she wore a black gothic dress. Strangely, they had silver hair, and they wrapped a piece of cloth around their eyes. 

Esen turned around and winked at Leo. She reported her achievement.

"As you ordered, I "resurrected" them and "feed" them those."

Leo let out a long sigh of relief, "Well, done. Now, show them how it's done."

"Alright!" Esen cackled and patted the cane girl, "You first. Go, Ivy."

Ivy, the new girl, smiled at Esen and courteously bowed, "Yes, Your Holiness."

She looked up and walked toward the boulder. Then, she lightly jabbed it with the back of her fist.

BOOOOOM!

The boulder got pushed back five meters! A small crack appeared on its surface.

Then, the result appeared.

.

Name: Ivy Archlich

Age: 17

Cultivation Base: 9th-Rank Quasi-Immortal Stage

Power Output: 1st-Rank Earth Celestial Stage

[1] Cultivation Base is graded in 8 major realms. Each realm has 9 minor ranks. The grades are as follows;

1st Stage - Muscle Tempering Stage

2nd Stage - Qi Condensation Stage

3rd Stage - Foundation Establishment Stage

4th Stage - Golden Core Stage

5th Stage - Nascent Soul Stage

6th Stage - Soul Formation Stage

7th Stage - Soul Transformation Stage

8th Stage - Quasi-Immortal Stage

As for the minor ranks, it is graded from low to high. For example, the 1st-grade golden core cultivator is weaker than the 9th-grade golden core cultivator.