Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 150 – Florida Man Attends Parent's Meeting at Local Middle School While Bringing Adult Toys to Advertise His Store

The battle bus took off and flew north at a cruise speed while the crowd below gazed at the bus in admiration. They were proud that their boss was rich enough to sport multiple unique flying ships.

Han Hao rubbed his chin and watched the departing battle bus.

"Come to think of it, Lord Florida Man has many flying ships. One of them parks near the clothing store while the rest are sitting in the main manor. Say, Wu Buyi, do you think we can ask Lord Florida Man to sell us one of those?"

Wu Buyi sneered at his friend, "That will cost you several thousand years of lifespan."

"Hahaha! I wish it was that cheap! Have you been cultivating? Because of Lord Florida Man's essence stones and his yang flame pills, I think my lifespan is over 2,000 years at the minimum!"

"Pfft. How cute. I got so many commission rewards from past sales, and my lifespan is over 3,000! You're nothing!"

"Ha! Keep bragging. I will surpass you and ask Lord Florida Man to sell me precious artifacts and cultivation resources!"

Han Hao pouted and went back to the chili farm, where he usually worked and cultivated.

Wu Buyi scoffed and returned to his alchemy workshop. He also had a lot of work to do as he hadn't mastered the alchemy techniques of Leo's workshops yet.

Everybody's daily life resumed even though Leo wasn't there to see them.

.

.

Leo lightly tilted the flightstick, turning the battle bus toward the north. After climbing the altitude to 10,000 feet above the ground, Leo set the flight course to the Cauliflower City.

RUMBLE

The autopilot mode was activated. The flightstick was locked, and Leo could get out of his seat. He stood up and turned around to see the carnage in the lounge area.

Cat was still there, emptying the entire refrigerator. As for the others, they were still in their rooms.

Leo approached Cat to look at her new physique up close. However, it was unsightly. The floor was in a mess as Cat spilled so many juices and scattered vegetable pieces outside the fridge.

"Look, Cat. If you want to eat, you have to learn some table manners. I'm gonna ban you from eating food straight from the fridge!"

"MYAAAA?!"

Cat raised her brows and turned around. She glared at Leo, protesting him with her expression.

"No manner, no food. Get up."

"MYAAAA!"

Like a selfish cat, Cat resisted. She swatted Leo's hand away.

Leo widely grinned. He grabbed her by the nape with one hand while the other hand held one of her roots. Then, he lifted her up and rested her stomach on his knee.

While crouching with one knee and putting Cat's tummy on his leg, Leo raised his hand and slapped her cake.

PA!

The sound was crisp. Cat screamed in pain.

"MYAAAAA!!"

Leo snorted, "Naughty girl has to be punished! You have been spoiled rotten already. It's time for you to learn how to act like an adult!"

PA!

"MYAAAAA!!"

Leo lightly spanked her only twice. However, both of Cat's butt cheeks swelled and reddened. She even sensed sharp pain from her pelvis as Leo's light spank almost cracked her bones.

After punishing Cat enough, Leo carried her on his shoulder. He closed the refrigerator and brought her back to her room. Then, he tossed the naked dryad to the bathroom and opened a shower faucet.

ZAAAA

Hot water splashed on the naughty dryad. The latter screamed like a panicking monkey.

Leo pinned her down on the floor and ejected a toothbrush and a toothpaste tube from his spatial ring. After putting the toothpaste on the brush, Leo forcefully brushed her teeth.

"MYAAAA!!"

"Shut up and brush your damn teeth, you skunk! You smell worse than Surströmming! Until you take a full bath and brush your teeth, I won't let you leave!"

"MYAAAA!!"

Cat flailed her arms and roots around as she couldn't compete with Leo's strength.

The loud noise and the commotion attracted the others. Esen rushed into Cat's bathroom first and found the weird scene.

"Oh," Esen grinned. She giggled. "I didn't expect you to be this forceful. Very well, continue."

"…"

Leo ignored Esen's remarks and moved the toothbrush deeper into Cat's mouth. She resisted for a moment before she bit the toothbrush and ate it.

"…"

Leo pulled out the broken toothbrush and looked at the piece of plastic for a moment. Then, he stared at Cat, who chewed the plastic toothbrush and swallowed everything.

"Am I raising a monster girl or a monkey?"

Leo deeply sighed and purchased a new "BRUSH". This time, Leo got the hardest toilet brush. He even went as far as upgrading them to level 9 to reinforce their strength and durability. 

As Cat kept swallowing toothpaste, Leo used the extreme measure. He poured the entire tube of content on the toilet brush and shoved it down Cat's stomach mouth. Roughly but surely, Leo scrubbed the dirt and grime off her monster teeth.

"MYAAAAA!!"

The bath time continued while Esen and the onlookers laughed at them.

.

An hour later, Cat was scrubbed clean to the point that a layer of her skin was peeled. Her dark skin got lighter while her long hair looked smoother and silkier because of the shampoo and conditioner.

As for Cat's teeth, Leo cleaned them so hard that the tartar no longer existed in her mouth. Her gums still swelled from the excessive force though.

"…Meow." Cat pitifully cried as she felt like she was violated.

Because of mental exhaustion, Leo panted. He cleaned Cat with a towel and tossed her to the bed. He then asked Esen.

"Help her put on some clothes."

Esen smirked, "I doubt regular clothes will do. Her primary mouth is on her body. She will definitely eat the clothes."

"Tsk. Any idea, then?"

Esen shrugged, "Monster girls don't really wear clothes. They will eventually revert to their original form, so there is no need for that."

Leo frowned and glanced at the other onlookers.

Xu Nuan, Yao Qiqi, and the two tamer girls were the only ones there. As for the men and the horses, they were too ashamed to stay in the room. After all, Cat in her humanoid form was in her birthday suit.

"This is annoying. Welp. If she wants to be an exhibitionist, so be it. Oh, wait…"

Leo remembered something. He opened the online shopping system and searched for a set of swimming suits for women. He then snatched a pair of bikinis and put it on Cat for decency.

"Meow?"

After Leo put the swimming bikinis for Cat, the latter frowned as she felt wrong. She sat up and looked at the bras, which acted as a restraint to her monster mouth.

Before Cat could eat the bras, Leo warned her.

"If you eat that, I'll throw you into the bathroom again."

"…"

Cat jumped up and sweated profusely. Then, she repeatedly nodded in fear.

"Good. Haiz."

Leo finally finished with the pet's bath. He stood up and went back to the bathroom to pick up the broken toothbrush and other trash.

While picking up the trash, Leo collected the upgraded toilet brush. He pursed his lips as he was vexed with himself.

'I'm stupid. I can upgrade almost every modern item with my lifespan like how I upgraded the electric appliances and cars. I should have done this earlier and sold these items at a high price!'

Leo smacked his forehead and put all the trash in a bin. As for the toilet brush, he carried it around as if it was a mace.

When Leo came out of the bathroom, Xu Nuan stared at the toilet brush with sparkling eyes. She pointed at it and asked Leo.

"Senior, is that an artifact as well?"

"Oh, this?" Leo raised the plastic toilet brush and glanced at it. Then, he realized that the material had been changed.

Instead of being as fragile as a plastic, its handle was as dark as an obsidian. The bristle looked like barbed wires instead of horse hair. Moreover, it emanated cold air and the scent of mint.

"Do you need this?" Asked Leo.

Xu Nuan dryly laughed and saluted, "If you could sell it to me, I'm willing to purchase it. Please name the price, senior."

"Eh…"

Leo stroked his beard. The brush cost only one year of lifespan. Upgrading it to level 9 took eight more. In short, its original price was 9 YOL.

A good merchant had to raise the value of his merchandise. Leo jacked up the price.

"90 years of lifespan. It's useless, though. Why do you want it?"

Xu Nuan laughed, "Actually, this brush looks so sturdy. I can use it to clean my tamed beasts since those guys also hate water. Could you sell it to me?"

"…Sure."

Unfortunately for Leo, they were outside his shop domain, so they could not complete the transaction on the spot. Because of the inconvenience, Leo handed over the brush to Xu Nuan first.

"I'll deduct your lifespan later… You know what? I'll put it on your tab, and I'll deduct your wage accordingly. Is that okay with you?"

Xu Nuan agreed, "That's very fair. I'll take it."

"Good."

The transaction was completed. Xu Nuan got a necessary artifact to deal with her tamed beast while Leo got some profits and a new inspiration for his future products.

His brain went into a Super Saiyan ADHD Mode. He simultaneously thought of 256 things at once to come up with a market plan and potential hot-selling products for cultivators.

'For women, makeups, facial creams, shampoos, conditioners, perfume, shoes, bags, dresses, trinkets, weight loss food, sanity pads… what else? Wigs, hair dyes, decorations, and beautification stuff. I'll check the list later.'

Leo purchased a pen and a paper to take notes as there were too many items to remember. Then, he listed the men's goodies.

'Rough men in the medieval era? It should be those – Porn mags, cigars, condoms, booze, flashy cars, viagra, Zaza, KFC, and… dutch wives? Why am I thinking of Andr*w T*te?'

Food items, such as KFC, were instantly removed from the list as they cost too much. As for other non-food items, their prices were more reasonable.

Moreover, guns appeared in his mind, but Leo shut down the thoughts as he didn't want to arm outsiders. The firearm technologies were exclusive to him and his people.

'I should stick with something nonsense. Viagra, maybe? How is the import price tag?'

Leo browsed the shopping menu and discovered the price. He widely grinned.

.

Viagra – 10 YOL per tablet

Cigar – 1 YOL each

Condom – 1 YOL each

Magazine – 1 YOL each

Wine and Whiskey – 10 YOL each

Marihuana – 10 YOL per Flower

TPE Doll – 10 YOL each

.

'This will be VERY profitable. Too bad, I can't set up a store outside of my domain. I should seduce those idiots in the imperial court somehow.'