Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 137 – Florida Man Forces Minor to Fight in Martial Arts Tournament Wearing John Wick's Tactical Suit and Carrying Gun

As there was nothing but his life to lose, Tang Xuan apologized to him to de-escalate the hostility. 

"Senior Florida Man, please forgive this old fool for not stopping the reckless subordinates. I really have no intention of antagonizing you."

When Tang Xuan's party visited Leo, the former never participated in the bullying. As a result, Leo's system spared him when Leo collected the compensation from the intruders.

Fortunately, Leo was a reasonable man. As long as the other party was willing to be civil, Leo always welcomed it.

"Forget it. Anyway, what are you doing here? Sightseeing?" Leo changed the subject.

Sensing the opportunity, Tang Xuan brought out an invitation letter from the imperial court. He explained.

"This is an invitation letter from his majesty the Emperor. In a few weeks, an annual gathering of Yan Empire and Jianghu Alliance will take place at Cauliflower City. We hope to invite you to join us."

"A gathering?"

Leo's expression turned dark as he hated official gatherings. From his experience, it was always boring as everybody there only flexed their achievements, wealth, and influence.

Because of the past trauma when he was a regular human, Leo declined the invitation.

"Meh, what's the point of that gathering? There is nothing to gain there. I won't go, sorry."

"Huh?" Tang Xuan was surprised that Leo didn't bother socializing with the empire. "Why, senior? You can seek the audience of the emperor there."

"See the emperor? Nah, I'm not a bootlicker. Let those eunuchs do their jobs."

"…"

The corners of Tang Xuan's mouth twitched as he was also one of those so-called bootlickers. Although Leo had no intention of insulting Tang Xuan, the latter got hit by a stray bullet.

Tang Xuan ignored the remark and tried to explain, in case Leo had no idea about the gathering.

"Senior, the gathering isn't about a meeting. It's about a competition between sects and cults within the Yan Empire."

"Oh?" Leo raised his eyebrows. He never hated sports and games. "Tell me more."

"Yes, senior! Ahem!" Tang Xuan cleared his throat. "In the gathering, every sect and cult can send their young disciples under 18 years old to participate in the gathering's tournament. The imperial court always sponsors the tournament, so there is nothing for you to lose, senior."

"What kind of tournament?"

"A martial art tournament, senior."

Leo pursed his lips. He somewhat remembered the theme and the common plots of Chinese novels and dramas in the past. As this event seemed similar to those tournaments in novels, he wondered if it might be dangerous for the participants.

After all, most cultivators were a bunch of lawless savages. They never respected common laws, but they only submitted to the strong.

"Does that involve killing or harming the opponent participants?"

"…Umm, yes and no. We don't permit killing, but accidents sometimes occur."

Leo shook his head as his guess was spot on.

"What about the mortality rate? How many participants died in the past?"

"A-About one-tenth, senior."

"10%, I see. That's quite high, isn't it? Also, accidental death? I think it's more like INTENTIONALLY MURDERED."

"…"

"To be honest, I'm against pitting minors to a death-match tournament. We aren't living in a caveman society anymore. We are already old, and we should be guiding our juniors to the right path, not sending them to their death for some unknown prize."

Tang Xuan lowered his head as Leo was right. Unfortunately, Tang Xuan was powerless against Yan Xiang's mandate. He would have been executed had he protested the emperor.

"I'm ashamed, senior. You're absolutely right. Too bad that not many court officials agree with you. Those maniacs claim that tournaments are good for the juniors since they are the only events that young cultivators can gain experience of real combat against their peers from other sects."

"Experience or not, sports are meant for entertainment and competitive spirit. This is just a pointless Roman Gladiator Tournament. Anyway, I'm not going. Tell that stupid emperor that he can send his people to die as he pleases. Count me out."

Leo turned around and patted Yao Qiqi's head. He also stopped bullying Esen as his mood was ruined.

However, Tang Xuan didn't give up. As he wished to get on Leo's good side, he revealed Yan Xiang's ulterior motive.

"Senior! I'll tell you the truth! Yan Xiang is planning to use this event to lure you and your disciples out of your domain to kill you! They know about what you did to the second prince!"

"…"

Leo stopped his feet and crossed his arms while he showed his back to Tang Xuan. He let out a long sigh.

Only Esen and Cat could see Leo's face. The monster plant and the lich's face turned dark as Leo's cold smile was so hideous that a devil would cry in fear had he seen Leo's expression.

Esen stopped throwing tantrums as she felt bad for the Yan emperor. She inwardly thought.

'You f'd up, cultivator emperor. This man is worse than ghoul savages and rotting zombies.'

But Cat had a different thought. She expected Leo to turn his victims into mutated flesh and yin fluid. She looked forward to stealing Leo's alchemy ingredients again.

'Ded-Ded? Nom-Nom Meow <3'

Tang Xuan couldn't see Leo's face, but he noticed the odd look on Esen's face. He gulped, wondering if he crossed the line.

"Say, Tang Xuan," Leo uttered.

"Y-Yes, senior?"

"How many people can I send?"

"P-Pardon?"

Leo coughed and turned around. His eyes curved up like a crescent moon while his smile showed most of his sparkling white teeth and healthy gum. Oddly enough, Leo had 48 teeth – 12 incisors, 8 canines, 12 premolars, and 16 molars. No wisdom teeth.

Leo's ugly smile sent a chill running down Tang Xuan's spine. The latter had goosebumps while he stared at Leo's perfect teeth.

"Let me rephrase my question. How many people on my side can join the tournament and ALLEGEDLY and UNINTENTIONALLY MURDER their competitors?"

Tang Xuan regretted everything in his life. This man sounded like a demon in a human's flesh. Still, he replied.

"Five per sect, senior. Also, killing isn't allowed…"

"NOICE! BAHAHAHA! How old is the requirement again?"

"Under 18, senior."

"Alright! Next question, Is there a limitation to the weaponry usage? Artifacts, talismans, bombs, and so on?"

"…Talismans, pills, and consumables are prohibited, senior. Other than that, anything goes."

"NOICE! HEHEHEHEHE!"

"…"

Tang Xuan had a bad premonition about Leo's evil laughter, but he couldn't explain why.

"You know what? I'm sold. I'll join that stupid gathering of yours. But what's the prize again?"

"Erm… spirit stones and rare pills for the participants. As for the winning sect or cult, they get essence stones, official rank promotion, stipend raise, fame, and the rights to purchase extra land deeds from the imperial court, senior."

Leo nodded in approval. He wasn't interested in ranks, promotions, or essence stones. However, gaining extra land deeds from the government was enticing.

Also, fame was a must for Leo's business. He hadn't officially opened his new shopping mall yet, and the only customers so far were his employees. Moreover, Leo's only income came from food and talisman papers, which was not ideal in the long run.

"Go tell your emperor that I'll participate in that stupid tournament. Share me the GPS location and date, and I'll be there on time."

"… What's Gee-Pee-Ess, senior?"

Leo feinted his cough as he chose the wrong wordings, "Can I have a map of Cauliflower City? I have never visited that place, and I don't want to get lost when we get there."

"O-Oh, okay, senior. I'll draw one for you."

Tang Xuan brought out a blank scroll and a brush pen from his spatial ring. He drew a rough map of Cauliflower City and the imperial palace. He even marked the location of the gathering event for Leo.

After receiving the map, Leo was satisfied. They continued chatting randomly for a while before Tang Xuan excused himself.

.

Leo sent Tang Xuan off and turned his attention to the kids and the lich. He smiled at them.

"You heard me, right?"

Esen snorted, "I'm 10,000 years old. I can't join that silly tournament."

"Hah! Can they even check how old you are? You're pretty much a kid in my eyes."

"Strong cultivators can scan everybody's bone age. I can also check yours!"

Leo was amused. He challenged her, "Check mine, then. Tell me how old I am."

"Of course! Let me see…"

Esen grabbed Leo's wrist to feel his pulse and blood.

However, a second later, she let go of his hand. Esen yelled at him and flapped her hand as if hot water splashed on her.

"What's wrong?" Leo frowned.

"YOU MONSTER!"

Esen was frustrated. She didn't tell Leo the result, but she stomped into her new house and slammed shut the door.

Confused, Leo looked at the two kids.

"What's wrong with your friend, Yao Qiqi?"

While holding Leo's hand, Yao Qiqi looked up to him, "I don't know, senior. But I heard from everybody from the sanctuary that girls on period are vulnerable to mood swings. She probably has that."

"…"

Leo didn't know if he should laugh or cry as Yao Qiqi knew something a kid shouldn't. Moreover, an undead lich couldn't possibly have menstruation as it was impossible for her to reproduce…

A few seconds later after the thoughts, Leo's expression turned into a poker face meme. He regretted overthinking.

"WTF brain?!"

As Leo was ashamed of his thoughts, he dismissed everybody and went to bed early.

On the bed, Leo buried his face in his pillow, blaming his brain for his inappropriate imagination.

.

.

= The next day morning =

Leo gathered all elders, including Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei, to inform them about the upcoming imperial court tournament. He was brief as he declared that he would choose five representatives among the employees.

Dongfang Mei and Xu Nuan widely grinned as they had joined the event many times before. The former asked Leo.

"Lord Florida Man. Amazonian Sanctuary joined the tournament 145 times in the past, and we won 22 times. Winning the tournament can boost our fame and status. I recommend that we send our strongest disciples to the tournament."

As Dongfang Mei seemed knowledgeable, Leo consulted with her while the crowd observed and listened to them.

"Can you explain what the tournament is and how your disciples competed in the past?"

"Of course, senior. Last year, there were 48 sects in total, including evil cults from the unorthodox path and the imperial court. 240 participated in preliminary rounds until only 36 remained. Then, the real 1v1 tournament weeded out the contestants until we had the last winner."

Leo and everybody nodded as it sounded normal. However, Xu Nuan wryly smiled as she went there and saw the savagery side of the tournament first-hand. She chimed in.

"Lord Florida Man. I have to warn you and the soon-to-be participants. During the preliminary round, most deaths occurred there because of the chaos. Sometimes, the organizers forced the participants to fight in a royal rumble match, where many participants fought at once. Last year, Yan Xiang pitted all disciples in cages and let them fight until 36 remained. A total of 53 young cultivators died."

"…"

This was what Leo was most concerned about. He felt bad for the victims of this brutality.

Still, Leo had a clear idea of how he could protect his employees.

"It's fine, Xu Nuan. We have a sure-fire winning method, actually."

"How so?"

Everybody was curious. Everybody was eager to witness Leo's trump cards or the chosen representatives.

Betraying their expectations, Leo pulled out casual clothes from his spatial rings. They were white shirts, a black tie, black suits, long black pants, black leather shoes, and socks.

"Gao Yan! Come out and put these on!"

"???"

Nobody was surprised that Gao Yan was selected as he was the only nascent soul cultivator among the juniors. However, they didn't understand why the clothes were relevant to the topic.

Gao Yan's face flushed in red as he received the clothes. While being hesitant, he asked Leo for confirmation.

"Umm, senior. Do I have to change my clothes here?"

"Go change somewhere else! Who asked you to strip in front of everybody? What are you, a stripper?! This ain't a strip club, you dumb!"

"…"

Gao Yan's face got redder as he felt stupid. As for the onlookers, they burst into laughter.

A few minutes later, Gao Yan came out. Although his tie and clothes were shabby as he had never worn such a suit before, he looked handsome in the formal modern clothes.

Leo taught Gao Yan how to wear a tie while he adjusted the latter's buttons and suit. Once completed, Gao Yan looked like a new man.

Maidens from Amazonian Sanctuary blushed as they found the guy attractive. A few of them whistled to get his attention.

Xu Nuan, on the other hand, still didn't understand why Gao Yan had to wear the clothes. She asked Leo.

"Is this the uniform of our… domain?"

Leo smirked and revealed the secret.

"This suit is made from the clothing store over there. If you inspect the texture carefully, you'll understand why I equip these to him."

"???"

Xu Nuan still didn't understand, but half of the young girls had a general idea as they worked there.

For the sake of explaining, Leo pulled out a flying sword from his spatial ring and passed it to Wu Buyi.

"Slash him," ordered Leo.

Wu Buyi confusedly received the sword. He hesitated for a moment, but he swung it at Gao Yan anyway.

Gao Yan was shocked. He raised his arms to defend on reflex.

CLANK!

As soon as the sword hit Gao Yan's suit, it caused a loud noise. Moreover, the flying sword was dented.

"Huh?!"

Wu Buyi widened his eyes in shock. Although he didn't use much force, the sword should have at least cut through the suit and cut Gao Yan's skin.

Meanwhile, the swordsmen realized how valuable the suit was. They rushed forward and inspected the dent sword. Then, they looked at the black suit in astonishment.

"I-Isn't this a treasure?! An armor artifact?!"

Leo laughed and revealed the existence of his new merchandise.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present you… our domain's signature uniform and cloth armor, a freaking John Wick's tactical suit! Ah, Gao Yan. Have you been practicing shooting? The pistol I gave you the other day fits that suit well!"

"…Eh?"