Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

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I carried the grain and came out of the Monson house. On the eighth day of the Chinese New Year, the snow no longer fell, and the melting snow ticked down along the eaves. I see a rare bright day, and I thought this difficult winter should be over soon? Seeing Hu Yanping standing at the gate as usual, he sullen out of his heart and raised his foot towards him.

From the corner of the lane, a thin and tall figure was turned out, but the slender and tall figure made me froze, and my blood suddenly coagulated. Looking at Hu Yanping, he shook his head helplessly at me: "Madam, the mage has already doubted..."

I smiled bitterly, as I should have expected. How can Hu Yanping withstand Roche's cross-examination? Give the food to Hu Yanping, let him go home first, and then face Rosh at a loss. He took me to the end of an unmanned alley, staring at my eyes carefully, looking through the hearts of people and making my scalp numb.

"Why did Ju Chumenxun give you food?" His face was a little blue, his voice stern.

I felt guilty for a while, and the words I uttered involuntarily stuttered: "This... he asked me to be a Xixi..."

"Oh? Who is the lecture for? Juqu Monson has only one son under one year old."

He looked at me sharply, and his head was another question: "What do you teach Monson?"

"Teach...Teach History..."

"He has long read the history of scriptures, do you need you to teach?" He interrupted me with a strong tone. "Ai Qing, did you tell Monson his future in exchange for food?"

"I--"

He was anxious and annoyed, frowning and raising his voice: "Did you forget what I said? If these owls know that you can predict the future, they will find ways to control you and use you, and your situation will be in danger. "

I shook my head secretly. I forgot to lie. It didn't work at all to lie in front of him, and to be honest I could relax a little bit myself. Take a breath and say, "I didn't tell him the future. I just taught him the most interesting technique of the king."

"The King's Art?" Qingjun's eyebrows were tightened, and his sharp eyes were on me. "How can people like Juqumengxun like his benevolence and morality?"

"Yes, he really doesn't like it."

I looked up at him and calmed down. I said bitterly, "So I taught him the "Monarchy" written by a man named Machiavelli a thousand years later. The central idea is power. It is higher than morality. You can do whatever you want to achieve your goals. Manipulate the art of power, pay attention to actual results, and believe that the results can justify the means."

"Ai Qing!" he exclaimed with open mouth, and looked around alertly, lowering his voice to blame, "How can you tell him this? He already has ambitions, and it will get worse if he listens to you."

"I know, I know that I am fueling the birth of an owl."

I met Rosh's clear eyes and smiled dejectedly: "Do you want to know what I'm telling Monson every day?"

Looking up at the sky, the bright color of the sky seems to be gradually dimming. Helplessly lowered his heavy head, never hated the long winter.

"For the purpose, you can occasionally use bad tactics. But you must never use it again. You should examine all the damage you must engage in, and you should be successful in one battle so that you do not need to repeat these crimes every moment. Such a In the future, without repeating these crimes, the monarch can reassure the people and win the hearts of the people."

I muttered what the professor said today: how the monarch does evil. While speaking, Monson’s eagle eyes couldn’t stop flashing, and it was hard to hide the excitement. This chapter is enough for his appetite.

Eleven years later, Hexi Xianbei bald-headed, black and lonely standing alone, Lu Guang sent Uncle Monson Luo Qiu to rebellion, but defeated, Lu Guang killed Luo Qiu in rage. Monson returned to Lushui's hometown with his uncle's casket, crying to the relatives about Lu Guang's cruelty. He lifted the pole and gathered tens of thousands of people in ten days, but after all, the power was still weak. The male cousin Mengxun laid siege to build Kangcheng, and he couldn't hold on with Duan Ye, who was then known as Jiankang Taishou. The male is against Duanye, and Duanye is the king. So Duanye opened the city gate and became the first sovereign of Beiliang.

Originally, at that time, Monson could not compare with the more prestigious males in the family. Duan Ye was not in danger, Monson was going to the top, the first to be removed was his elder brother. So Meng Xun took the risk and resorted to a vicious scheme. First, the male adult offered sacrifices to Lanmen Mountain, and he also reported to Duan Ye that the male adult rebelled. If the male adult comes to ask for the Lanmen Mountain to be sacrificed, it is the proof he wants to counter. Duan Ye was really fooled and killed the male. Later, Duan Ye died in the hands of Monson, only to know Monson's cunning.

He listened to how he did evil, and kept his head closed. When he opened his eyes again, Jun's eyebrows tightened, and he was sad: "Ai Qing, this book of sin, how can you teach people like Monson! You told me that he would sell his brother to be king in the future. But, He may have listened to your words and made these moves in the future. There is a reason for you in the killings and sins. This is in the karma!"

I bit my lip and greeted his shocked pale gray pupil, and said desolately: "I know. But I will not defend myself, saying that history has always developed like this. I will not hold it to let you live. Reasons to make excuses for yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty about the food you eat, and you don’t have to "don’t eat Zhou Su" like Uncle Bo Yi, I will bear all the consequences..."

"Ai Qing!" He hugged me and covered my lips with his hands. His hands were cold, his knuckles were covered with purple frostbite, and gray fine lines wrinkled in the cold wind.

He sighed distressedly, he couldn't bear to blame again, and there was reluctance in his eyes, and he whispered softly in my ear: "From tomorrow, don't go anymore..."

I still covered his mouth, staring at his eyes, and slowly shook his head. He lowered his hand and looked at me in disbelief.

"Rosh, I will go tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. Because, this is the only thing I can help you. We have little property to sell now..."

I took a deep breath and looked at him in spite of the tears. The corner of my mouth trembled and said what I had been holding in my heart: "Rosh, you have thought, why do we not eat enough every day? Why do I have to sell you to Monson? The approved technique of the king?"

I was panting and my throat hurt. I choked with a choked voice: "Because we have taken over two hundred people, we have to divide our food into two hundred portions! Without them, we could have lived comfortably and comfortably and survived this winter."

Dou Da's tears accumulated in his deep eye sockets, and his eyes shone with burning crystal light. Supporting my shoulders, trembling with a low voice, I asked slowly, word by word: "Ai Qing, can you regret it?"

A drop of cold snow water dropped onto my neck along the ridge, and the coolness penetrated the skin and reached the atrium. The voice rose involuntarily and shouted almost catharticly:

"If I'm not your wife, I absolutely have no courage to take them in! Rosh, I have always been selfish than you. In my time, there are too many people who only believe in'people are not their own, and they are destroyed.' I'm not as great as you, When I can’t eat, wear, or warm, I still want to save someone who has nothing to do with me! I don’t do this because I have a kind heart. I usually have it, but when faced with starvation, I still think about me Myself."

Biting the corner of my mouth, let the pain inject me awake. Breaking away the hand that he held my shoulders, and pulling away from him, grinning coldly and saying, "Are you surprised? Your wife, who broke through the layers of hardships and wanted to guard, has such a selfish side, so Terrible idea."

Waving his hand over, he took a step back, and his voice was almost roaring: "In the most unpleasant days of hunger, I complained to you in my heart, why should I take them? But complaining back to complain, there are more than 200 people in the family, is it now? Can't you get rid of them? When you walk out of that door, they are dead. But if they don't go, are we going to starve to death with them?"

The harsh cold wind rolled up the garbage on the roadside, circling around us. The bright color that appeared in the sky was obscured by the cloud, and then returned to the dull haze. I was the only one in the alley screaming and venting, sorrowful echoes on the empty gray brick wall.

"I've been helping you, never complaining in front of you, because I love you. I love to be hungry with you rather than going back to my own time. You want to keep so many people, you want to let them All live. Okay, then I will use all my means to help you achieve this goal. I am also a believer in Machiavelli. I can do whatever I want to achieve my purpose. My purpose is to live! What about changing history? What about you? How about accepting it or not? None of this can stop me from wanting to live on my own, I want your heart to live on."

"Ai Qing, you..."

Can't bear to look at the pain and great surprise accumulated in his eyes, turned his heart and turned toward the home. After walking for a while, rustling footsteps sounded behind him. Knowing it was him, he walked faster by biting the corner of his mouth. He has been following me without words. The heavy footsteps, like a heavy hammer, hit my trembling heart at once. Tears fell and wiped away. Breathing cold air deep and big mouth, this time, let me capricious once. I won't be able to hold on without venting. How long can I stay...

We went back in silence like this. At night he hugged me as usual, but he remained silent. When the time came the next day, he asked his disciples to go out and beg for food, but he didn't go all the time, staying at home and looking at me silently. When I walked out of the gate, I could also feel the sorrowful sad eyes behind me, cutting my heart like a sword. I took a deep breath and bit my lip tightly, holding back.

Hu Yanping escorted me back with two buckets of grain that day. Roche didn't go out for a day, still speechless, his painful eyes staring at me silently. We are still silent. The family members also saw that we were different, and they dared not talk much. Everyone went to bed early in the dark.

Apply ointment to his injured hand before going to bed. By the weak moonlight outside the window, he looked closely at his injury. It's almost healed, and continue to apply medicine for a few days, it should be fine. I looked up and saw his stunned eyes linger on me, one lip, as if I wanted to say something. I turned to the beginning, let go of his hand, turned and walked towards the bed. Lying in the quilt, face to the wall, shrinking in the corner.

He went to bed, lay down next to me, and put his arms around me as usual. I turned my back to him and let him hug him like this. Even if we don't say it, we know that the other party is not asleep. It has been almost thirty hours that I have not spoken. This is the first time such a big conflict has occurred between us because of differences in values.

Suddenly my heart is tired. Does anyone make any sense of wrong? We have loved each other for so long, and thought that it was his identity and belief that was difficult to change between us. Now it seems that the difficulty of breaking through huge resistance is far less difficult than staying together in the famine of the chaotic world. Is it really a pity for poor couples? Isn't love falling just like that for us?

There was a slight rustling sound under the bed, and he felt his feet rubbing. Suddenly remembering the frostbite on his feet, it must be because of the warmth in the bed, and it began to itch again in the heat. I got up and got to touch his feet at the end of the bed. Hold him in his arms and massage for him, so that heal blood and relieve itching.

He was sitting up and rubbing his feet violently, holding me tight. Leaning on his thin chest, he felt trembling slightly. The soft lips touched my face in the dark, groping all the way to find my lips, shuddering and sucking. I responded to him, holding his head and kissing his eyes. The salty wet slips on the tongue fur, and he is really crying with his voice suppressed. The embankment in his heart completely broke down and intertwined with his lips and teeth. He also tremblingly touched his lips with my eyes. The soft lips slipped over, and I was shocked. It turned out that he was not the only one crying.

Rosh, I'm sorry. I'm from the 21st century. I'm much more selfish than you. You are not wrong, although modern people will not recognize your values. My contemporaries would think that if you insist on yourself like this, it is a bit pedantic. But me? Is it true that I am contaminated with the modern ideas of Machiavelli? What keeps you alive, these are just the excuses I found for using such disgraceful means...

"You're not wrong..." He choked with a very low voice in my ear, "Rosh has never experienced human suffering since his childhood due to his excellent confession. He only knows how to preach and explain, in front of the disaster, these skills It's useless. Although he has the heart to save others, he forgets how powerful he is. I didn't expect this famine to spread for so long, even we have to endure hunger. It's Roche that is causing you to suffer together... …"

I bite the corner of my mouth so I can't let myself cry. Outside the curtain, a dozen people were lying. I hugged him hard, kissed his lips, and leaned in his ear and said, "No, I'm sorry to say it's me. Rosh, not your incompetence. No one can change this situation, including me as a future person. We are not in power, and you, who have been deprived of the Divine Power by Lv, are just like civilians in the face of disaster. You have done everything you can: beg daily, go to the place of power to get food. Now , Let me do my best. No matter what the consequences will be, I will bear it all by myself, and it will never hurt you..."

He sealed my words with a kiss and twisted around. Rubbing me tightly into the chest, a firm voice gently sounded: "Rosh has been trying to understand this whole day. Although Monson is fraudulent, it is always better than Lu Shi, so you are right. As for you The karma you created, you are my wife, you are doing karma because Rosh wants to save people. No matter what kind of suffering in hell, hot wok decoction, flame burning, copper entrance, Rosh bears for you ."

The tears couldn't help but fall, sobbing on his shoulders: "Don't..."

He chuckled softly and put firm arms around my arms: "Then we are together."

"Okay!" kissed his clear cheek and leaned over his ear. "Rosh, as long as we get through the difficulties, I won't continue. Give me time..."

He kissed me back, the stubble slightly rubbing on my face, and his whisper sounded in his ear: "I don't want you to go, it's also selfish. Although Monson doesn't know that you are a future person, but what you said These, I am afraid that will make him more interested in you. Ai Qing, your wisdom of knowledge is not available to women of this era. If he has a possessive heart for you..."

"Don't worry, I have a way to protect myself. If it's not my own willingness, no man in this world can force me." Closer to his chest, fingers crossed into his hand, "What's more, you are not borrowing An unknown person, he is not a monarch now. The strong seizure will do him no harm, and a shrewd person like him naturally understands the trade-offs."

"Roche also understands that you have the ability to protect yourself. It's just that letting his wife go to another man's house every day, always..."

I froze. Is he jealous? There was a hint of sweetness in the bitter heart, and he burst into tears and smiled. If not in the dark, I really wanted to see what his jealous expression would look like. Covering his mouth, sticking to his ear and asking: "Rosh, do you believe my love will not be shaken?"

He nodded vigorously.

Spread his palm, stick it with his palm, and hit it silently: "I swear to you that there will never be any violations. So, can you rest assured?"

"It's so difficult, you have to live with Roche, why don't you believe your heart? It's just that Monson is a good person..." He sighed slightly and kissed my forehead. "Be careful... "

We hugged each other tightly, intertwined our fingers, and kissed silently. I thought in his kiss, so that I could gain strength, the power to live...

The next day, I finished the course and walked out of Monson’s door with a grain bag. To his surprise, Rosh and Hu Yanping stood together. When he saw me, there was a slight smile on Rosh's long unsmiling face. The whole person was radiant with this smile. The sun is rare in winter, and the golden light is scattered on his maroon robes, adding a warmth to this hazy winter. The snow melted more, ticking down the eaves like a drizzle.

Hu Yanping took the food in my hand and blinked at me quite deeply. Surprisingly, Roche held hands and walked in the other direction. Looking back, Hu Yanping has gone away with food.

"Rosh, where are we going?"

He carefully lifted me over a puddle of melting water, turned back and smiled at me, gorgeous as sunshine: "I will know when I arrive."