Epic Of Caterpillar

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I have lied to Kireina-sama…

I have lied to everyone…

I am… I do not deserve any of this…

Any of this companionship…

Nor acceptance…

Nor the friendship they had shown me…

In such a harsh world as Genesis, there is no time to make friends…

Nor allies…

There is the only family to back you up…

Everything else is not real, it will crumble sooner or later…

But…

For these last weeks…

I just wanted to believe that all of you were truly my friends and allies…

Just for a little longer…

I don't want this to stop…

But it is too late, isn't it?

Everything will always end like this…

I am sorry…

I am sorry…

I am sorry…

I can't…

Kireina-sama, everyone, you have given me so much… and yet… I… I…

I am… sorry…

But I can't keep this up forever…

It has to end…

They told me that I had to end it…

My sister… she's within their claws…

I can't… I have to save her…

Would you… do the same thing as me if you were in my situation?

I don't really know…

But Kireina-sama always shows her tremendous love to her family…

So perhaps she might do…

However, even thinking about this doesn't add up.

I am still a sick being.

Why did you even treat me like a person?

I was just a grotesque monster…

Yet… you…

You showed me friendship...

Companionship?

You even aimed to protect me and to make me stronger…

I should be laughing at that…

But I can't… I can't help but cry…

Why?

Why did you have to be all so nice to me?

Now it all… hurts so much…

Am I doing the right thing, sister?

I just want you to be back with me… I would even sacrifice… I would even sacrifice my own children for such a cause…

I am sure that the Demon Gods will take good care of them… maybe.

As long as we stay alive, we can rebuild a new family… with you and me.

The only person I've truly loved, my family… my sister.

We had survived for so long, you and I stuck together, fighting against so many odds…

We were hated as monstrous aberrations, creatures that could not be called gods…

But you were always there for me… and I was there for you…

I can't… It hurts so much to do this, but I can't simply go back to my words…

If I do something wrong… you will die…

I can't… I have to… I have to do this…

Even if it hurts so much…

I am sorry, Kireina-sama… everyone…

Caged inside my Divine Realm, I can't help but keep crying rivers of water.

The creatures and the rest of my children which I managed to save inside of my Divine Realm glance at me with concern…

Don't worry, I am fine.

This is… fine.

This is what I must do…

I have to save my sister…

I can't… I can't go back now…

But why does it hurt so much?

It makes me want to… Not do this.

Despite my sister being there with them… near death.

What if I do something wrong?

She will die…!

I can't… I can't simply let her die!

I have to do… I have to do what they say!

I don't want her to die, I don't want to!

The one person that had always been in my heart, my beloved sister!

My companion through all of my life, the one who had been with me all this time.

Oh, I regret that time when we separated for a few days… for such a stupid discussion.

Gods can't die?

That's wrong… Gods can die, and gods can kill other gods.

Perhaps our souls might seem immortal, but that's a superficial lie.

Our souls are made up of something called Primordial Essence, whenever someone learns how to absorb this essence, they can kill gods.

Kireina-sama is an example of this…

But those Demon Gods… all of them have this power as well, although not as Divinity Devouring, but as the Divine Technique Divinity Devour…

And through their long years of perfecting such a technique, it had become strong enough to let them absorb the power of other gods.

However, they are also quite silent, these Demon Gods had been waiting for this opportunity all this time.

They are scheming and cunning, gathering power in silence… they had been waiting for a day when they can finally show this world how strong they truly are…

After all of this… everything will change once again…

I just wish that my sister can keep being with me up until then…

They seem to be cunning and evil, but I believe in their words.

Can I believe in anything else?

It's not like I have any option…

Perhaps…

Should I believe in Kireina-sama?

…

No, I can't…

Although she and her family, friends, and allies all had shown their gentleness to me, this might all be superficial…

I might as well be just a spectacle for them… r-right?

Yes, it is better to believe that they see me like this…

Perhaps…

Perhaps it won't hurt as much like this…

No, it still hurts…

It hurts so much…

Am I doing the right thing, sister?

What would you do in my situation?

Would you betray your friends, the ones that showed you companionship and love to save me?

You have always been the gentler of the two, weren't you?

Always trying to help the ones in need, giving a hand to those that needed it, you even went to the point of helping the enemy at one point.

But this only gave you lessons after lessons to not be like this.

Yet…

You are still the same and dumb gentle girl, aren't you?

Sigh…

I wish I could be like you…

But I…

I know what I am, sister.

I am a rotten monster.

You may believe that we are not monsters, that we are people.

And the people in here treated me as one too.

But I know deep inside the aberration I give to them.

I could see it in their eyes, they all looked at my appearance with disgust.

I am just a horrible thing, aren't I?

A monster…

A monstrous creature that doesn't deserve the gentleness of others.

I know what I am, and I will act as what I am…

A monster…

I don't look appealing to them at all, not even to the dragons.

I am just an aberration, a creature that shouldn't even be called a God.

But Genesis is a strange world.

It even let monsters like us become Gods.

Why though?

Why would this world give us such an opportunity?

Well, I will not complain about this…

This is… the correct thing to do, my sister.

I know that you would say that this is not correct, that I shouldn't do this…

I know well how you are… And this is why I love you so much.

But this is also why I must do this.

Because I am the one that always does this.

I am the monster of the two, the one that always does the things that you believe are not correct, because by doing such things… we have survived so long.

I betrayed the enemy you befriended and used his corpse to gain enough money to sustain us, I know that you wanted to be his friend… But he would have betrayed us sooner or later.

Now that I think about all of it…

I have been always like this, aren't I?

Just a rotten piece of trash…

Yeah, I am trash…

And rotten to the core…

Why was I crying?

Just some little gentleness from some strangers and I feel all this flustered?

My mind is playing tricks on me…

I am a monster, an evil being that does harm to others.

…Right?

I have to think like this if I want to do what I am going to do.

I am the rotten one, and you are the gentle and good one.

We balance well together, but I often have to always take care of you…

But it is fine, as you are the only person I need in my life, everything else is momentary.

You are the only one who will stay with me for eternity, my beloved sister…

Yes…

I don't…

Need anyone else…!

Then…

Then why?

Why am I still crying so helplessly?

I have to do it…

Even if I do it while crying and weeping.

I am sorry… Kireina-sama…

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I stay caged within the abyssal darkness…

How many years has it been since then?

My sister… where are you?

I miss you so much…

I miss your tender carefulness, your love, and your often overprotective nature…

Sigh…

I am so stupid…

So, so stupid…

And weak… so, so weak…

I can barely move within this endless abyss… this is the power of that God.

Thanatos.

One of the Demon Gods closer to becoming a Great God.

I am way too stupid.

To think that I would fall into their trap and that I would separate from her…

I thought that such a person needed my help, I went to help them.

I can't help it, I like to help others.

It fills my heart with a sense of fulfillment as if I were doing something right.

Very strange for people like us, who are all horrible monsters, right?

But perhaps within my actions, I was hoping for others to not see us as monsters…

Or at least, as 'good monsters'.

But is there such a thing as 'good monsters' in this world?

I don't think so…

They all see us as either resources or threats that must be exterminated.

This lasted for all our lives since we were little critters swimming in the seas, up until becoming the great and tall creatures we are now…

Even when we became gods and found out the rest of the world and how it was all controlled by gods, we were still persecuted by other gods, no matter how strong we grew, we were still being chased by a new threat…

Sigh…

But I don't want to…

I didn't want to be seen as a monster…!

I wanted this to change, and I wanted to… help others to show them that I and my sister were different!

But this only leads to problems after problems, and inevitably, it led to a discussion with my beloved sister…

The one…

The one who had been taking care of me all this time, I can't believe that because of my own selfishness, I ended up fighting with her…

I wanted to help others… but I guess it will always lead to problems.

A monster helping a human?

Who would believe that?

They always think we want to secretly eat them or something…

And when I finally had thought to find someone who understood us, my sister told me that she had seen him talking with others, he was going to betray us…

She killed him.

I was very sad at that time…

But after the events that came afterward, I understood that she was right, he had a whole team that would have come to slaughter us if we didn't kill him first…

Ah, and I had thought that…

That I had made a friend…

But it was all a lie, it was always a lie.

And now that I thought I had changed, I ended up discussing with her something stupid.

And I ended separating from her for something even more stupid.

I was caught by Thanatos and his Gods, and they chained me.

These Gods are not like me or my sister…

They are true monsters who had embraced such nature…

They are the real monsters in here…

They only care about power and how to obtain it.

They only care about dominating the world…

I just… I just wanted to live with my sister and perhaps one day make a friend.

But these beings are just thinking about completely different things…

Sigh…

Perhaps… they also suffered like us, sister?

Maybe they are like us, or perhaps, they suffered even more.

To the point that they stopped caring altogether.

They now see the only way out in becoming stronger and dominating everyone else…

But is this… the real way to do things?

I wonder…

They often feed me, to keep me healthy.

However, those that come to feed me glance at me with voracity.

They… they want to eat me?

I don't want to die…

I really don't want to die…

Sister…

Where are you?

I am sorry, I am so sorry…

I don't want to die, please…

Please, anything but… dying…

I have so much to do…

So much that I want to explore and experience…

But perhaps, I am being selfish…

Perhaps my sister is right now fighting to free me…

But wouldn't it be better to simply die?

Indeed…

Now that I think about it, it would be a particularly good thing for her.

She would be freed from me.

I am just a bothersome thing for her.

Perhaps if she were to be alone, she would be happier without me constantly annoying her.

But why do I fear death so much if I think like this?

Perhaps the natural instincts of a monster, which always prioritize surviving?

I wish… I could at least see your face one last time, nee-sama…

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